09.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk64ZUGGkol
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu11uu0lO5l
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhrcucadDp
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYJQGF7aHE
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjkpYh2i3r
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVHoKW6lo8
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXuvE6oiam
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHmkUMVwlL
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDctrrbvL9l
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajbQ0Gtikm
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7cdgFHQWa
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRXloXHqYn
「怎麼了？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvin0RU6gn
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6Tk8jjvJx
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdOUiLN1sA
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3F3C1fI90Z
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgAi1lFNoZ
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WPC7WeY53
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYdQcK3gw5
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jxWSvy00u
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxVq2R1aTx
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwzz6Enuko
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodf8zqVoD3
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh7Jc5lO11
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfdehxbHBv
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCddkL8ViqH
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnEnzZkTTL
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkftUzzaLSM
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWcdSlDDDx
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjYU220I2t
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QQWwPxwbl
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbjynBmErR
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBEpd125GN
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KNm1gBX6J
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEDzVbDywi
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5UswomH8M
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgyJKlZnZs
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjLXP1mYls
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJPiycpelE
「也要。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhr4niANkXK
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zSjuXKj7c
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccbaawdekm
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSFgDDOb6a
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUivxdVxx87
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHZYdlzbw1
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWgggJIbIh
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80TlytUIif
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidk4z1G41J
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUYSostOZY
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsjmN4mxj0
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZGZmlaNPY
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xbGrBm1b4
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0lCUxKk6z
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56XF0bIEPp
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Cx8N14Usd
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZaOsEk46S
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxvf8TrvYZ
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zJcVO8ici
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwr2ykxns4
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJR7SzbOHS
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX19m124j7
「愛的本質？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKh1pCCqGS
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOlpO9JVZd
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rJFzql3gM
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL473IReW5U
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCbbnE0Mmj
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhFjifmrUc
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdeAGuKfDw
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKoYSBQ2QN
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVBwRHTWUx
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmuaeuxS60
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS94zCP9HdJ
「新年快樂。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhejJFuCSOC
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CvlwDwDFl
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDK8npXbfJp
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatHnN4dDp5
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusuuD9HESa
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkwXhtEqRY
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBiLoURM5Z
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ykXPrh3Xf
「新年快樂，傑。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ5My2PI9g
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIsanunULp
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfOeNbIeQw
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuLrDq2yDB
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVkIWAKEbG
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5ExOsUpDb
10.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrZjvSoHEp
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfizrXvOMDp
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqqEt6aif2
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5my5dSzJf2
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKnNBpcklv
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREY5sK0G8u
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjmVPqe5n9
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsFcOoCMYH
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMagKWHLDXt
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oekqFaDTX
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk3EEAimRb
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutj9DaTdQd
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5BQtK3kN1
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7cUhRkyVD
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YfWC88pro
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx09EM65Ws
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVukmK6u7Tt
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBAzeGoiAs
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LQLnRrklS
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDnymQkm9x
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhB48V7ggQZ
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgVepk7sW4
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygF77BNXoB
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1Qh8q8gTF
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZGGhHh3uR
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ARi3baJ8A
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN04tjWjfs8
他對我說：不進來嗎？237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWKVyVcZR4
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sLu1FllG5
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqdDtNN5RB
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZkM1yTLIa
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcQcXAQ9uC
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobb5QicB0r
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDOFD7ly97
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2mRG9oOFr
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ7VWKAivT
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTXstU430i
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypjtQr6f4q
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93gRyscvdM
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOy0aelVLbc
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmpXPTxcEX
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaD1iNnAGm9
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡue7kFjNHdo
我好像從未了解過他。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡce67anpujs
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0n3R8ujA9N
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEGkHjW0ib
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbjsToO4bj
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQb6s8trNl
「是你嗎？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY00qQTnwHC
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZD4wHctBN
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStbj0CFFNc
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQXYxmpvIJ
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp35gzz3YJX
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQ3v0y4kaM
夏油傑笑了一下。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuzCy5O2ZB
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQD0vX5Wxd4
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyRzCTMOl2
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXc3NhWEmJT
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco68yCIMyx
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuLGmyCZxy
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz8E7KDKAg
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRor66aIvaE
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyKvQ2MN0i
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUunz08Exo
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRRhQyGi5U
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQp5qiSNI5M
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUZIdnRLrt
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9g0n9I7UmV
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY3nBmAFAi
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VimRWwTEY
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHIphkUWXB
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxSdCCaucm
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrceJMk3ec
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjWZNHCgRu
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigcxXWBiXK
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPdsN02E5V
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdcaUbW1fc
就這樣吧。237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrfQhAxkEV
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAX0hdIZey
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLjEx7ta4R
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWcmZlx4FR
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkDrdWwVOb
240815 10 二修237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjjfLslux5
