09.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD8Ba09HuO
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXxrJYQXMw
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZAYQl9ieP
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeajheTFbg
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUz9yvFyPH
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECPMYBmKh7
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEt9Zp6zIZE
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdXHj7iTbY
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjU2JZxOAR
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKAjvQmNWD
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ew6evDzXK
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCMoT6PMle
「怎麼了？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhi8nYQOaJ
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRtVHBEvV2
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnokoyzmnQ
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz86X3KwE9w
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5q3kBoI3J
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnzjzvCspL
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnt2MD0O9ig
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjun2Rligz
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Q5qmL5zuE
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgtSGhEybV
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEIQNtIGm1
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9sO327ZlA
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwTeE5whQm
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMOdgFgOap
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROTIEciD8m
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMLerQjPjC
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpiFxo2arR
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbja3giWb7
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATSfw9Ci2O
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpHEx7NpUO
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG5hcaXbUK
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTypXOr6L1
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9rC2LxaRy
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaqVcHfDs6
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzrV2DfFRL
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmm6CuI5nVt
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnIWdViZUU
「也要。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZfPuwSAyQ
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9pYZcBNfC
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVhAmiuYsm
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3X5Tdgg8S
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvPWAKvGPn
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YOlLGAyUU
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwlSCQqd5c
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRd2SRw4OSB
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeysusPv3xZ
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6Iy8wnuCj
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHu52WWR8L
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHGhiV4hpa
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRQJT4u6kF
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGzxONIoWY
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsiEHUb6aP
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ5SE4J8Dg
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTNUjOHG31
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnxkmBG7JV
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZA4pXA1jY
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgL9TGRgomg
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyWbnstRwm
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP2wI2KK7A
「愛的本質？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjYI100H5o
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw12Kj3T1p4
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR5CRRPz5e
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K9mVwWCJB
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3lQJIUeuJ
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1ApTGLhI5
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGk5DigRjT
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvIiUhzfQl
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOQIuefjko
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJ5KeAFxbY
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjlkOtMznU
「新年快樂。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnziAVER3w2
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3ognyyUuv
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ31CQyOWg
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1oBeWIolo
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPP2JF0zTm
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HVnImBNjM
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w9Y9FPe5v
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmSva92mmk
「新年快樂，傑。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHukQcViHT
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAV9OQWzit6
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VIVZCfoGZ
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGNmlCRowD
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE9AyiPrAC
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog1tOGfOV3
10.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3u2yEh6MjY
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiJhi7WOwM
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhGv4e7Opm
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfC0gPLgLc
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mr0DpUqRA
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJxioc82f7
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1llH0ja33
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW340GA4jZT
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Eed7mC3L4
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6scmDieNg
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Oh0ppGQ5j
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsGx1pZZ5z
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4fPz1hSaL
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoONCJC8TI
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD6UPwyCLg
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1ffyflDGm
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShxX9N35YQ
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN82UkNHs5
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9PmMsKyCI
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHW1xa5Owt
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrd4qRhVAh
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8NGdjF4zR
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tIo6m3Hmi
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ601EJgWWzD
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xMPNsOLq6
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wRlQrVruS
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMrVgNAtVo
他對我說：不進來嗎？238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMb5M6qAjT
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8KKaLM8BX
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlueO7e7Dt8
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mmEGQqshw
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMKKdooWEL
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsOyaPk4iO
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa9VP3ATnZ
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQHK3yWBlG
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjsuYz1Xcj
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKSHDjHGAC
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWFOH7ZIjb
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN17bv8itmF
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb0SRnCBb9
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4iSPdikaK
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwFE2AVte9
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYrZVBP4e6
我好像從未了解過他。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ076TTLLbnH
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe84Hx8nRmX
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdCnL1GjEv
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYUEd3vq50
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvBzs5ABnT
「是你嗎？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzz4rD1n7d5
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImb3oM9JZw
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehc5eUMHdb
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvHrmD4VbK
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKuznwpfwF
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU0RkR9l2b
夏油傑笑了一下。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Pq8H2BIdU
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5botKUOdG4
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmATVirfBE
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiriR4EpWH
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAI0IIyMK6P
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeojUS0p7ct
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCTbc7NLsI
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dl03BRdHB
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNEeGYicnC
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdg4y4pM6W
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoMRVkmrd5
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkS6jY0RqsF
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQvV95qEuD
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtDsgRELEx
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhwmISkRsc
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMkJEk1rpL
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX3XH9rORZ
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNH61h5hzf
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhjgi2gA9n
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS34g36uddk
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmOtp1WmHz
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx0s43z35N
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SFQRRmxfO
就這樣吧。238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxImUuHO4Q
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdqdLHMjzb
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BmXkOgH6S
238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRApF0UGG1o
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TdOJyfXGW
240815 10 二修238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCz8hVQhVp3
