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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIKj6r716b
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3n5yP2M8b
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMIMENVHp3
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rtYoC6voV
— Ok I hear you.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXYvXdDDCF
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tIhXBbtYr
— A tattoo ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT677R8sOcd
She nods energetically.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpuwLVYqbo
— While you are still a minor ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnd7MDqYmZ
— Soon to be an adult.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCGDPLyxti
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcemLvajRs
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoOdKVLao7
— No way ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnoEb4MD83
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0KSNMW3kW
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcANSG9kgJ
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dlTJuh6PB
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxBu9z0rtO
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRk23KDToq
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGlTCpayLk
— She’s not a cool mother ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1op5lFnmJ
I decide to join them in the kitchen.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRdyO6jwQe
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsun0xc1hQ
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCyrIEPvNq
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizCTq2zOvv
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSzMIXf4Qz
My son looks at us, imperturbable.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65nGgYN2FU
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUkaWNCf8U
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ywMJLugEd
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiukARqoCA
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgBCp5sglI
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSATcCLcB5g
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSqi4Fwrx2
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYyWISEJs5
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHDcYAUdIS
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWd3gHtbbL
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNxwvmCI4u
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBb5fOpFle
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpC2TjNAYo
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXFAuJhZ80
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznrr2AiA8X
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I4tJuJU1B
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY6SBpxypa
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhGfaPolr9
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pOW662cD4
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EdfpYgdJ4
My father coughs and chokes.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyvRVY8lXM
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjPDqQhPc1
I nod yes.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYo1NK9QNwR
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKSZiM9ybq
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxheZ5DpC1P
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgSYIQi4fR
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPsqt3Y86J
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH0uBK1Odx
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0seHsakmOm
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NOURoDPZn
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMhsqLzN5Y
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvGtjnKuZw
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNDZFHqpsq
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEbsSirUUA
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHZxuQQGip
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpI77o2B1f
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhNpQmUMEt
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhy8DFTKxJf
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFlwBGeOWn
— Yes Megan.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QioIToHlk
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrALYwpMIfi
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxqfxK18qp
Many raise their hands including the new one.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiug2gYU6h9
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabKaniMhTs
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNNVXwQ0ft
— Perfect, Jessy ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjzHvkKZNl
Jessy… 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPOEVQiOgn
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5YhjRnDAh
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsUBTfDH68
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5kUIrdNix
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnXy9ReEu8
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i952LnGVk
My cheeks immediately turn red.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0uzyxBGQG
— There is nothing to say.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zaiesl5j7
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zevLyesJk
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbYAOT4qFk
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdMCjkitU8
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLIzcTU40f
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNxolPat7a
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oHo8MLpFn
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCGqhpBWnv
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwQz7WIcIU
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp62qsTr0mB
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYB4ndd9jB
— I learned a few things about him...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TRcWc42SX
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEH1zwkca4
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7B41hM6nN
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw6T1ze7kf
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JcczddIbz
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvx8ACM8UG
When I don't answer, he continues : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5l2d05C0t
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9jK5dIyIq
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZAtQ7Us6H
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MHDa86oci
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6KU4HJlqH
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavTNvxxQrq
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXFlFxNNLw
Why am I blushing ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKCMHA1SaG
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvl0lz8o8zl
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeorPOaASkA
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxypkO9aPO
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCCtat2oIO
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8LIvg8WuL
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtycZuhnPA2
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lvMJbmdT5
— Where were you ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHI22QQjJP
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYROTF05HfQ
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaFfEGnOoL
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOxEoMJpqS
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilQCZwCvsW
— This guy is weird ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDXNziSACa
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7KrySUHr0
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugSp80miA5
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuZQ38cxNc
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQsoXinWTQ
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjGewymSv1
— I am coming with you.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGF4Qk1GPX
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDX1C5iKgV
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUnWriLbnm
My boyfriend raises his voice.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6P1IPb35g
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALIEPUan3m
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1ITPTFys6
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvBJkAck3c
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSuWbv3aGm
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCr1kUXZaI
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7F6GIMcd8
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK7B72FCZ2
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNKmObQa9G
Having little choice, I accept.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgimjIVOLT
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5teSL06bdU
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8s3jBggEY
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk1oqtwS8k
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4amcGEt7T
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI5CKy2iv7
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycepGFvMPr
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV5KheA4ig
— What are you talking about ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYc2D2i2eBg
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynDIdmJ8Ef
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyBN9FAGhT
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtXSMdXnYF
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZRYvyoVJi
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOs2p0BXsnL
— I'm going back.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2Pbh2fUZD
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1Bzd3qgWr
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaXewtDCb3
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwmOLy6HHO
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOR1ZOaf1PJ
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHlJ3JBM6q
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgH47cs6tdJ
— I need to walk...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8OdT38ZJj
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtBu0ABt2M
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49mWGmzPCd
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEBYHGDiFh
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafNjDRas38
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapmFMrVvNl
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRFXzz1bCh
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhua4UCCNAx
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXYlXZRVWH
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9g32JnOTY
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5M46dfJiy
I look at him, surprised.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNlyOILK8f
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1r7BMQc5F
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqB0YSkiIz
— You're good ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCimjUSY4y
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwQGHGMFb0
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkp7KZVc8c
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMLMfNyhYy
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3ru6j6yjx
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbGxfNOJyN
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVlGXqYGF9
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlnq0CovWp
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBoUcsI9EK
— Did this happen to you too ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3EROCu7V9
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡze2DQv2gKW
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGi2N1ecyjy
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYVSwvLTeM
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryuPxGhb3o
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbupFGV2E7S
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM93F5pNjCg
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4dU0bVEFh
— I see in you.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLyLeva0e9
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBNPFddQEp
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxmGSBBCdT
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTz7uAa0oI
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTi68BRevqO
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJHRIW0RrK
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMheVqD4Bc
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5pcbiQLD4
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpW4r2GRHvV
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffG3Jz1zO4
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Fzdq6aLDY
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF11jq6rZRz
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1Qnxofzh4
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKHiU43vRw
Immediately, boos are heard.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fHRaRnGaC
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh4h0riTUl
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAAFOBVbPa
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooTyDZa8Gp
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpz0rwjNH1E
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LPF5raNG6
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93amL5HbfJ
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0NYKG03M7
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLvsO9Yw4g
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKGfLS0kMr
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1oopNZ28E
— Jessy, wait ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8oRJLa0dW
He slows down, but doesn't stop.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhXvzi41E0
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrgTUEh0JD
His shoulders relax and he exhales.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNG4ixzQ49Q
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFx8fuAapcd
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOH3RCHc5T
— I'm not…496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalRdfP8NN4
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwqBL0zNmA
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpGS9Ny463
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUq0gmlldUk
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcl13XL2UQ
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplKPkCWk3D
Why didn't I think of that ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTsp1dpaVc
I refrain from slapping myself.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtvXx8QdLE
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpBm4vNYoG
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKOWJeKUT9
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzpUZsmoMc
But what is happening to me ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlo02TtA5hE
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREwgnhzVHq
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqcJ1L89Gq
What's going on with Jessy ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENHjOwL5GH
Astonished, I wrote : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBZqJeFXfk
What ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAELyEyk36
Chad's response was quick : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoytmSBxpT
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl51HxJyuxx
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNmsFbVP9f
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqejZkS6tpr
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokwDH1oHYt
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWVey06QYw
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqbQ5PDY1e
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQgxHAEq9R
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtzsSbTd7P
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7C9sAWqdo
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCjTPNAbXn
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVxceAM589
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9qJKsKWLI
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrOXc0r8ob
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkcd5QH4W9
I am left speechless.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaYCCF2qoa
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzURHU0PnQy
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zyEcHoaxU
— Very often. I hurt you ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLSnBUlIAF
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArANcP8V5a
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbhlCIzHGK
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUatAdLTsdW
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUBAzzUbyM
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPFdFFRVn6
— Mom, this is Jessy.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2iKvcLXcE
They greet each other.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofvyA7bodR
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQ18QFHiRy
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtLhWCrTNq
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iuSw0c0Go
He shrugs his shoulders.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrq7vZCrBI
— I don't want to bother you…496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7DNv436Ge
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7G0fxaOMN3
— Nicolas is my older brother…496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYfali1c0F
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Hvj0rjBzX
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsYsEwsxJK
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa3JeeV1RE
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3NE0rKXRM
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0BmIFQFat
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DCgAn7InQ
— For what ? I tell the truth.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZHC1cIRSv
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnc9h1OixQ
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfCIfkZnNf
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYXNZBTEGO
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8lIsmQoRt
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Lp6LtDkmV
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5hYcTpHyC
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkVeAGKyka
I glance at him sideways, smiling.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbOCpPrPDO
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfA0GENpa0
— Not really.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7TEga5Fxc
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kZ3TQlMwk
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxlxKqio4a
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3VegQPh9m
— You think that…496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3LSMd4y3I
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CDDL3xTkl
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHr6lZLkWe6
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4wU43ijRD
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUqkOWTSGF
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3F1v2Rd2MK
— Megan ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNGYNQznGq
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0jUqwuSPL
— I am sure of it ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsciQeQi8Q
I give him a big smile.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaGZYhNrEy
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTlmCQh0PH
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FxVwAJSFI
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfC7cSzvLiS
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGO0L0KigHJ
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9W52Ftiug
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM5HilGK9H
— Did you move here alone ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Pd39ogcgX
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWCEL8AfCq
— No, I live with my mother.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYsRYV0y9k
— And your father ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbptbdAGFs
— My father died when I was a kid.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT0p5GR9GF
— Sorry.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1kcEtBaiE
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0KGMoANSZ
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk87YBDa3Ka
Jessy grimace. 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf1Dl8GRVg
— No, they stayed in Allentown.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIgLJXuzeW
— For what ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yuFGQbZhZ
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3GCemuChG
— Joker ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQEENwjWAz
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhNEadwWWh
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHZv87DQJw
— Re joker ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGKMG7uyWM
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pdvDfwPBm
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrEGxA0VvB
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDD7LbA8Ki
Looking serious, he nods.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UIhwxI2ag
— So you’re from Allentown ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCgs4b2NfX
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ375gY9BRk2
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabuaVkHCul
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ16ZaYbLqA
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEz3nQs2KJ
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi87OlPu2UD
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspYS6vXhRr
I blush and lower my head.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xf3rqw1Gm
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJSv0vEn4A
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew0VA66TXd
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcqDh5uc18
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2FRhfsmYo
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQxcEe2wUp
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nTFqXTmLa
— You still have ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvl9rj3c1se
— Well no, we split up...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3MrJqu6Q6
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX2ATw4zOF
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWkZUezbj3
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNaoqo1CYI
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIJYJxmEfL
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVZ7IZm869
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNjXJYMWAZ
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6vjcYvQPe
He glares at me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVSxa0kUyA
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewswjCCf8G
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdqVTmFMbv
— So where is the problem ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGC1mNw7wL
— I can not do that.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVXX51t4Dj
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxrS117jVR
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7B9fY2BfM
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOYPXzzSJU
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8fWQWq5kF
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRmSblruAH
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYco08sFQeN
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPd4AvUARg
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFy7Q6NHDi
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvn7TkruDB5
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS3PmrQJIM
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1MJF6I63f
496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiavpEMS5Ww
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDB5BpZw9SA
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cMOOkusXD
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhpXxCwt6N
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGT1xkpvyc
— Hello ? he says, happily.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPvh4nR4EM
— Nick, it’s me.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bdDJZptJl
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzAXKkkiv2
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVMtpMWcci
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkjI6SKbrh
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgItYsjTUF
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmRiIINuGk
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzdwISCKXQ
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBc1T8ffNV
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdw3l3AT9pm
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj7JvuA4ck
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDDSbtPDdP
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4hhgpCE5s
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAS4ICBWK66
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDWRBEfo75
— I wouldn't be able to.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQJi7E9qqz
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsLYve127u
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeRvavwiMO
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM82FRcav6P
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOJBwmqL0h
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.496Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DcPwFsD7h
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
