第一次見到他,是在我從校舍九樓的屋頂跳下來之後。53Please respect copyright.PENANATQaI6dYlww
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我失去了意識,我以為我死了,可是睜開眼睛卻發現自己毫髮無傷。53Please respect copyright.PENANAAnjIpex3QF
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我看向周圍,自己正處於非常奇怪的地方,這是四周一片漆黑,看不到盡頭的廣大空間。53Please respect copyright.PENANAVpEC2GDWcv
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正當我不知如何是好的時候,他出現在我面前。53Please respect copyright.PENANAhDqcxOqMmX
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明明沒有光源,我卻能看清自己和他的模樣,他一身蒼白,卻又能融入這個空間,因此他在一片黑暗中特別顯眼。53Please respect copyright.PENANAKPOxAropFv
53Please respect copyright.PENANAo5tCv90VRt
他無聲無息地朝我走過來,動作輕得沒有腳步聲,讓人懷疑他是否真的存在。53Please respect copyright.PENANAf9eqwoKk8Q
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他走到我面前停了下來,盯著我看了幾秒鐘,然後開口︰「這裡是哀傷與絕望的最後界線,你是怎麼到這裡來的?」53Please respect copyright.PENANA4qapIq721a
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出乎我意料之外,他的聲音溫和,語氣輕緩,讓我內心的不安減少了許多,但還是充滿困惑。53Please respect copyright.PENANAEPwYXNHQ7G
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看我這個樣子,他笑著說︰「慢慢來,沒關係。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAjHvRwo1QR1
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於是我認真想了一下,緩緩開口︰「你問我我也不清楚,我只記得我從學校頂樓跳下來...之後就到這裡了。」53Please respect copyright.PENANACoCbWLleaE
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我邊說邊看向他,只見他聽了我的話,一手環腰,一手托住下巴,垂下眼,喃喃自語道︰「自殺...」53Please respect copyright.PENANA0qsNsZDVEn
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他像是在沉思什麼重要的事,但我滿腹疑惑,急著知道解答,當下便打斷他,問︰「那個...這裡到底是什麼地方?我現在究竟是死是活?還有...你又是誰?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAnvWydfNz6c
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聽我開口說話,他便抬起頭來,等我連續問完三個問題,只見他瞳孔微微放大,似乎些訝異。53Please respect copyright.PENANApVluVeZ439
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他回過神來,看我還在等他回應,微笑說︰「真是抱歉,這裡很少遇到這麼活蹦亂跳的人類,所以我有些意外。因為一般來說,要死的人是不會像你一樣這麼有好奇心的。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAtvlm6YKO6q
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活蹦亂跳?這是什麼形容?還有我果然要死了嗎?53Please respect copyright.PENANAjKnAzqETMN
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他笑了笑,在我對面坐了下來,說︰「好吧,你想知道我就告訴你。首先,這裡是哀傷與絕望的最後界線。」53Please respect copyright.PENANA69qjspP83o
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請你說國語好嗎?再說這剛剛你也說過了!53Please respect copyright.PENANAdCcTxWcxXU
53Please respect copyright.PENANAXqUa0PDNgt
他又笑了,似乎很以我的驚慌困惑為樂,說︰「實際上也很難說明這裡的情形,舉個例子來說,正常人只有生和死兩種情況,生人在你原本所處的那個世界持續活動,死人在死後的世界有另一套規則──這個暫時不能告訴你。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAtziOb2lbgy
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他停了下來,笑著問︰「到目前為止聽得懂嗎?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAywh783ymL1
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「還...可以。」我點點頭。53Please respect copyright.PENANAMCzOACKrAN
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他繼續說︰「然而,有一種情況介於生和死之間,就人類的說法,叫做假死狀態。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAcMoVk4nhEI
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我脫口而出︰「植物人?」53Please respect copyright.PENANA40aq2rrYDS
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我心裡頓時不安起來,難道我成了植物人?不會吧...只是想死個痛快都不行嗎?53Please respect copyright.PENANAkXLFTj8kR9
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看見我欲哭無淚的神情,他有些理解地苦笑道︰「別擔心,我沒有說你是植物人啊。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAYhRoU25U5E
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「所以我不是嗎?」我鬆了一口氣。53Please respect copyright.PENANA5HMhe6tHUm
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「你說的植物人應該是腦死,」他又道︰「假死是指人的生理及新陳代謝狀態極低的情況,因為很接近死亡,所以稱為假死,這種假死狀態在我們這裡特別是指肉體機能癱瘓時,外力所造成的衝擊尚不足以使靈魂失去意識,導致在生和死之間動彈不得的狀態。」53Please respect copyright.PENANA30HOWHJI4F
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「聽起來...」我搔了搔頭,「很麻煩。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAPQdaS3PJ1o
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「其實也不會,因為例子不多,大部分人不是生就是死,少數接近這種狀態的人類會變成你剛才說過的植物人,就是仍然活著,但已經沒有知覺。而更少數的一些人,原本還不到該死的時候,卻因為意料之外的天災人禍或是無法預期的自.我.了.斷而造成死亡,像這種死期未到卻死了的人就會被送來這裡。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAOS2ben55dP
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「這樣的說明還能了解嗎?」53Please respect copyright.PENANADOgOSjkBBj
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為什麼覺得他的笑容比剛剛還燦爛。53Please respect copyright.PENANAm4WPNrUf48
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我前後整理了一下,緩緩開口問︰「也就是說...我還沒有要死的意思?那現在在這裡的我是...?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAjMheqgcf7O
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「沒錯,你的壽命還不到喔,不然就不會送來這裡了。順帶一提,人類都是以靈體的狀態存在在這裡,肉身還留在原來那個世界,簡單來說有點像靈魂出竅吧,你說你是從頂樓跳下來,靈魂雖然沒事,不過也許身體受到了相當大的傷害...」他補充道︰「當然這得等你回去之後才知道了。」53Please respect copyright.PENANACUZ8EHZGUx
53Please respect copyright.PENANAAPCniQy2pu
「聽起來好像很痛,所以原來我沒死成啊...」我突然感到有些恍惚,心裡面空蕩蕩的不知道是什麼情緒。53Please respect copyright.PENANAT3477x8zNE
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過了一會兒,我說︰「你還沒說...你到底是什麼人?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAvCrNwNBa4z
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「剛剛也說過,因為會來到這裡的都是死期未到的人類,簡單來說,我是負責在這裡等那些人,讓他們打消想死的念頭,好好地回去原來的世界生活的人,這是我的工作。」他笑了笑,似乎很引以為傲。53Please respect copyright.PENANApOzCiQ6pcW
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這簡直就是自殺者限定的心理診療所嘛!死後的世界什麼時候有這種貼心服務了?SO SWEET啊。53Please respect copyright.PENANA5bx4odXbEv
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他又道︰「通常天災或意外的都比較好勸,因為他們都還想活,自殺的就...」他刻意拖長尾音還看了我一眼。53Please respect copyright.PENANAXbpd23nOkF
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我只好光明正大避開他的眼神。53Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6dSt8pwYa
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「但是不管來幾次都還是要勸,」他苦笑,「不然就算他們硬要死也沒有位置收啊。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAIJflGnzV47
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原來是沒位置。53Please respect copyright.PENANAtK5gGMplJF
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經過他一番詳盡的說明,我大概明白了七八成,也就是說我因為死期還沒到,所以被送來這裡假死意思一下,所以待會兒就可以幸運地復活,然後老死不相往來了。53Please respect copyright.PENANANmdZu8B3UK
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好...我想沒這麼簡單,他看起來也是經驗豐富的人,大概不會就這樣放有可能「回來」的人輕易離開,以免增加往後的工作量之類的。53Please respect copyright.PENANAzMt3iPmmmd
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「那現在...」53Please respect copyright.PENANAWJ6WPqigQi
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胡思亂想一陣之後,如我所料,他淡淡地問了。53Please respect copyright.PENANAlRU1a1KSzq
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「能不能告訴我,為什麼要自殺?」53Please respect copyright.PENANA5GOrDLWhpT
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沉默。53Please respect copyright.PENANATYGA9hUA48
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「傷腦筋...剛剛不是還很活蹦亂跳的嗎?」他苦笑。53Please respect copyright.PENANAbgldkNGJ3I
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「我們才第一次見面,跟你說這個不好吧。」我隨口敷衍道。53Please respect copyright.PENANA8qXX9RaLwu
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「我也不是非要知道,只是有些事情悶在心裡很難受的吧?」他溫和道︰「你或許覺得自己的痛苦不必強加在別人身上,可是我沒關係喔。」53Please respect copyright.PENANA22Rmv5v4pb
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「陪你一起承擔,好嗎?」他柔聲道。53Please respect copyright.PENANAwvstDryH8b
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他的眼神裡透著光,直直地看進我眼裡,專注又溫暖的目光,讓我明明知道不可能,卻還是幾乎要把他的話當真了。53Please respect copyright.PENANA9xPcIb1Ypt
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真不愧是專業人士,覺得有點不妙,我趕緊將目光移開,看向遠方彷彿無盡頭的黑暗。53Please respect copyright.PENANADmotfJPCVj
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「我、呃...」53Please respect copyright.PENANAJuoe0KYhFq
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正打算開口說點什麼,突然覺得眼前一花,視線變得模糊,我站起身來,看見我自己的身體,竟變得有些透明。53Please respect copyright.PENANAd8YLiD3EiP
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「這是?」53Please respect copyright.PENANA5K8Mrtx8y4
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他也跟著站了起來,解釋道︰「看來時間差不多了,在原來世界的你的身體已經到極限了,因為靈魂沒辦法和身體分開太久,所以你現在要被送回去了。」53Please respect copyright.PENANABnYGAiainM
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「沒辦法減輕你心裡的痛苦,真是抱歉...不過,不要再來了。」他淡笑。53Please respect copyright.PENANAhWbEflhkiZ
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我皺著眉說︰「這是官方說法嗎?聽起來真有點不愉快。」我又道︰「對了,還不知道你叫什麼名字?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAPkWURWjjDS
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他一愣,問道︰「我沒有名字,這很重要嗎?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAVl7tq3QO7Q
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我說︰「當然啊,不知道你的名字,下次來的時候怎麼跟你打招呼?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAbw8WELLnVu
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他聞言有些哭笑不得,「這個...請你不要做這種打算。」53Please respect copyright.PENANACNO8DYpaHA
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我的身體周圍出現一層光圈,淡淡的光線流轉間帶起微風,我感到有種力量正將我吸離這個空間。53Please respect copyright.PENANASHNUIRcQrZ
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「沒有名字的話,愛怎麼叫就隨我囉?」我的身體漸漸消失,「我想想...就叫你死先生好了,因為──」53Please respect copyright.PENANANGHda5wgGI
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我失去了意識。53Please respect copyright.PENANAyOEk121OPZ
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等我再次醒來,已經躺在醫院的病床上,而且全身都痛到不行。53Please respect copyright.PENANA25yREryMQz
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替我動手術的年輕醫生,聽說是醫學界有名的外科權威,他一來就對我講了一連串什麼粉碎、破損、斷裂的詞啦,聽起來就很嚴重,然後交代了後續復原的事宜。53Please respect copyright.PENANAGQA6iqP4jf
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「能活下來算你命大,要不是遇上了我你現在已經在排隊等投胎了!」年輕的外科權威略顯不滿地用手推了推眼鏡,接著看起來很得意地甩開白色長袍,轉身走出病房。53Please respect copyright.PENANA1nOwit6cU6
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居然這麼說。53Please respect copyright.PENANAQcovABTRUQ
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我的死期明明還沒到...或許吧。53Please respect copyright.PENANAlRGh5LTN0j
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事後我回想起來覺得那段經歷就像是夢一樣,虛幻而且不真實。53Please respect copyright.PENANAPpJ1jtamYS
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如果不是聽護士說發現我倒在草叢裡的時候已經氣絕身亡了幸虧醫生認為還有救等等之類的話,我大概也不會相信吧。53Please respect copyright.PENANAhhqbdFxHQ8
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假死...啊。53Please respect copyright.PENANAUQTR09gpNp
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之後我做了幾個月復健,等到四肢能動之後出院。53Please respect copyright.PENANALpJMKuqB2j
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出院之後不外乎是面對各方面質疑的目光,由於不想招惹無謂的麻煩,我的說法是「在頂樓休息時不小心失足跌落」這樣。53Please respect copyright.PENANA6jdwhhFya4
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反正不管其他人相不相信,我是堅定自己的說法,雖然聽起來很可疑。53Please respect copyright.PENANAZBRkEsS1Qb
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家裡還是給我找了心理醫生,說是安撫我重傷之後的情緒。學校方面,幸運地能夠補考,所以不會有二一的問題。53Please respect copyright.PENANAJbpgGcGZaf
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回歸日常生活之後,在學校裡遇到最多的,就是那些在背後對我指指點點的人。53Please respect copyright.PENANAFKjIGUXNMC
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同學們顯然不太相信失足跌落這種說詞。53Please respect copyright.PENANAeoTzoN9OY9
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自殺未遂,不曉得被傳成什麼樣子?反正謠言止於智者,我既然沒有那麼寬大的心胸,只好選擇不去聽。53Please respect copyright.PENANAVGY3hTrFBg
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基本上會想自殺的人都是心裡有病的嘛,就某方面來說謠言其實也有一定的可信度,而且能讓一般人不太敢接近你,已經很夠了。53Please respect copyright.PENANAXdHxMJuvvs
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只是除了在路上被多看幾眼、不經意多聽到一些閒話之外,我的生活其實和以前沒有什麼兩樣。53Please respect copyright.PENANAlyr1tHiOnX
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倒是還有一種人實在讓我有點無法應付。53Please respect copyright.PENANA9G50phamgp
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過去根本沒有什麼交情,最近卻突然好像很要好,下課後一直跑來我面前繞,說的不外乎是︰「我知道你最近過得很辛苦...」、「有什麼煩惱可以讓我們一起分擔~」、「大家都陪在你身邊!」,或是經典的「你不是一個人。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAr9jUU1JQ79
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如果是真心誠意的也就算了,偏偏都是一些虛情假意跑來獻同情的,不知道為什麼我就是看得出來。53Please respect copyright.PENANAmy3y82V0es
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他們明裡關心,暗裡只是想看看自殺不成的人的嘴臉是長得什麼樣,然後在心裡自我滿足地進行一番嘲諷。53Please respect copyright.PENANAfkJ39L4qwC
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這種人比那些會在背後指指點點的人還要讓我感到厭惡。53Please respect copyright.PENANAWZpwmkIud6
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當然這種人是少數啦,大多數人還是屬於安分守己,可遠觀而不可褻玩焉...錯了。53Please respect copyright.PENANAER3rb5Ks8M
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總之,不關自己的事就不要去惹,是現代人最佳的生活守則。53Please respect copyright.PENANASTTPjnbX0X
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話又說回來,要是以前的我肯定無法承受這種不太友善的目光,也許是有過一次不同於常人的經歷,讓我心裡的某部分變得堅強點了吧。53Please respect copyright.PENANA4CPJ1LivK0
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也或許是對任何事都變得更加不在乎了。53Please respect copyright.PENANAMeGoMAGebJ
53Please respect copyright.PENANA3DS3i6S6J5
老實說,我覺得是後者。53Please respect copyright.PENANA5p2uKBfBrr
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在生活漸趨平靜之後,我常常都會想起他,不知道下一次再見到他的時候,會是什麼樣的情況。53Please respect copyright.PENANAmAl4bLh4A3
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想到那種溫柔的人露出不知所措的表情,我竟有些期待。53Please respect copyright.PENANAtkocTv3BzN
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TBC.53Please respect copyright.PENANALy9ttmmGz7
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