CP：瓶邪←阿寧11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqiVHGQ40E
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要說阿寧是張起靈的某人，他也不會否認。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0WGvoAYMr
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在吳邪出現之前，阿寧就用一種不倫不類的身份和張起靈周旋了很久，球隊經理本來就容易被拿來跟球員做文章。吳邪晚張起靈一屆，從學長那邊風風雨雨流傳下來的謠言聽多了，他一開始還真以為阿寧和張起靈是一對的。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw3EAqtpKc
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但是後來張起靈卻和自己搭上了，那陣子吳邪的思緒總是攪得很亂，一邊如履薄冰的一點一點試探張起靈，又一邊試圖去戳破隔在中間的阿寧這層窗紙。他看得出阿寧也喜歡張起靈，而且是很鮮明的那種喜歡，所以吳邪最初才會把自己對張起靈的感情藏那麼隱忍，好像這樣就不會全盤皆輸。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEEEPj4zjo
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他和張起靈有感情，但這之前也和女人有過感情，吳邪覺得他沒有立場去要求張起靈什麼，畢竟他連自己是否才是橫亙在張起靈和阿寧之間的第三者都不知道。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJ9NqYpQ8y
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他想維持，但不刻意。感情是一戳破就碎成千片的東西，經不起臆測，也經不起某些真實。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJch056EJW
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但他終究還是說出來了，有些事情不是刻意不去探究，就好像能慢慢說服自己真的不在意。那句“不是你和我這種關係”簡直像不明就裡但再清楚不過的表白，也就是那時候他才發現原來自己的執念已經深刻到無法視而不見的地步。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsTV5fqthM
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張起靈住的公寓距離學校10分鐘車程，不遠不近，算上等紅綠燈的時間還要更久。彎進十字路口再經過三條岔路，大樓入口隱藏在櫛比鱗次的住宅區內有些隱密。阿寧來過幾次，熟門熟路，管門的警衛也沒要她填訪客單就放她進去了。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKjaGul2hO
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午後的陽光攀上門前的黃金葛再蜿蜒進中庭，花圃裡的花已經從千日紅換成了山茶。阿寧走到E棟一樓最裡面，半開的門裡亂七八遭堆著各式球鞋，她站在門口喊了個名字，捧著包零食的男生探出頭來。阿寧從背包裡抽出社團資料本連著筆遞過去讓他簽名，順便收學生證。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjR1FWnx6jJ
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內頁上的簽名亂得像鬼畫符。從裡頭又走出另一個男生，還打著赤膊，有點不好意思的也把學生證交上去。阿寧收起本子作勢要敲他的頭，說你們下次再忘記交資料就不讓你們上場了。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aQrfTSHX7
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兩個大男人說寧姊教訓的是！正經八百只差沒立正敬禮。阿寧搥了他們一把就說要走了，還有別人要簽，你們長點記性我就省心多了。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbPHjLfPnN
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大奎和潘子，都是籃球社的，還是阿寧管的那個隊。大三生，課比其他人空，又不愛去學校。不過球隊經理職責就是這樣，資料時限前沒交齊整個隊跟著遭殃。其實也剛好是他們和張起靈住同一個區，交情也不錯，不然阿寧根本懶得跑這一趟。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvRphpbAHJ
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張起靈下午沒課，阿寧昨天也傳了訊息說今天來找他。她按了電梯，進門，對著鏡子理理頭髮，眼線有些暈開了，眼角浮著點點黑色顆粒。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgAnaHEZm2
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綠色的內門開著，外層的鐵門卻沒打開，阿寧移到可以看得比較深入的位置，客廳沒人，最外邊的臥室半開半掩也沒人，按下門鈴又等了一會兒，還是沒人！她有點煩躁的拿出手機撥了張起靈的號碼，熟悉的鈴聲卻從裡頭傳出來。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06TrO9lhx5
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吳邪從半深不淺的睡眠中被吵醒，枕邊的手機響個不停。他下意識的伸手往左側摸──空的，才想到張起靈和黑瞎子出去了。他把手機拿過來看一眼，起身穿衣服。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCguKWM8npT
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阿寧看到頭髮亂七八糟還明顯一臉睡意的人有點錯愕。吳邪像早知道她前來的原由，開了門說張起靈等一下就回來了，妳要不要進來等？11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2yW46bMlT
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或許吳邪根本沒有什麼特別的意思，阿寧還是突然緊張了起來。這有點難堪，明明是件稀鬆平常的事，也很有理由.........可是不知道為什麼，油然生出一種窺伺到他人隱私又被當場揭發的感覺，有些措手不及。.........是因為淺意識裡認為會有意無意想去和張起靈接觸的人只有自己嗎，太可笑了，那現在站在面前的這個人又算什麼呢。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQhAkLLOcP
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阿寧把手上的資料單一股腦塞到對方手裡，吳邪從指頁上方抬起頭，她只丟下一句我明天會去學校找張起靈拿，離開的速度快得像落荒而逃。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOPwa7LIuT
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H. Hopeless11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwSwFKE4bE
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晉級三強的賽程一路打下來十分順利，總歸沒有和真正難纏的隊伍正面交鋒，實力再加上一點好運造就一切所向披靡。球員們開著無傷大雅的玩笑，友人間各種瑣碎八掛笑笑鬧鬧，燥動的觀眾從球場排到天台，阿寧擦掉白板上某個球隊的編號，又是一波如雷貫耳的隊呼，捷報頻傳。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEktmWhynfq
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比賽結束，參戰的人群還不肯散，今晚小周末，止不住澎湃激情的一干人吵著要唱歌。十點銀櫃大包廂，歡迎攜家帶眷，潘子發的群組短信。收到訊息時吳邪剛沖完澡，今天難得他有機會上場，拿的分數也不少，很愉快的回覆算我一個。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98fu0q7WDr
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其實吳邪實力不差，只是生不逢時，上頭一個張起靈一個潘子，後面再緊緊跟著胖子，還有半路殺出名的解雨臣。但憑這些人，他還能有個替補位就是燒高香的事了。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeOPEgoHyF
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大學夜生活頻繁，吳邪也見慣了紙醉金迷。頭頂上旋轉的彩燈閃得五光十色，包廂裡空調很強，人聲混著震動的音樂非常失控。他跟著胖子先到自助吧幫大家拿點吃的，一群女生擠在冰櫃前挖冰淇淋，好像是幾個學長的女朋友，吳邪在比賽時看過幾次，他端著裝滿食物的盤子小心翼翼往回走，一手一個有點重。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6PTubAlwS
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張起靈最晚到，單手抱著一箱啤酒走進包廂，後面跟著阿寧。震耳欲聾的吵鬧聲簡直要把屋頂掀翻，麥克風在不同人手中輪流交替，唱完副歌就卡歌。阿寧看了一圈坐得有些擁擠的人，拉著雲彩要跟櫃台多開一間小包廂，說我們幾個女人要去自己的小世界了，不想跟你們大男人搶，接著又是一陣笑鬧。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWKLVXAYSK
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吳邪坐在角落，張起靈拿了兩罐百威擠到他身旁，頭髮看上去很蓬鬆，應該也是洗過澡。其實都是做白工，連夜唱K後身上沾染的氣味簡直五味雜陳，不知道吸收多少這一室經年累月下的菸臭。那邊有人已經拎起了麥克風高歌一絲不掛。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJw3IHOH1q
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我拖著軀殼，發現沿途尋找的快樂，仍繫於你肩膊。一句歌詞在不同人的心裡被過了多少個版本，然而撕裂軀殼，欲斷難斷在不甘心去捨割，這又該有多好。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRZAi1JGDf
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主螢幕很亮，唱的居然是粵語歌，所有人的注意力都被吸引過去。吳邪動了動身子更靠近張起靈，不冰的百威喝起來帶點苦澀，他伸手去拿杯子和裝滿冰塊的鐵壺，彎腰的動作讓胸前V領開得更深。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8MmwBqbPW
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蜜黃色的液體上浮著一層泡沫，丟進幾塊冰磚就溢出杯緣。張起靈沒有想開嗓的意思，只坐在角落偶爾跟人攀談幾句。吳邪貼著他說怎不買雪花買百威？張起靈說那是阿寧的意思，一隻手不輕不重地擱在吳邪後腰，動做簡直像在摸小貓小狗。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zP8XKEgte
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幾首必點的金曲又輪了好幾回，每個人都唱出了那麼點私人情緒，這種場合從來都不是真的想展現什麼，而是享受一種氛圍。上半夜所有人精神正好，還有力氣上上下下兩個包廂跑來跑去串門子，喝酒拼酒吃東西，點歌機上的清單排到壓底線都唱不完。下半夜幾個人開始有醉意也有睡意，東倒西歪成一片，感染似的周遭喧囂聲也慢慢歸於沉靜，最後只剩幾個人荒腔走板的唱著富士山下。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRZ97eKuUP
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吳邪蓋著外套也半睡半醒，被灌多了意識迷濛不清。解雨臣直接橫倒在沙發上，頭枕著他大腿，吳邪有點不適的顛了顛發麻的雙腳，無奈人睡得太死，只好任憑他繼續枕著。原本後仰在椅背上的姿勢扭得脖子很酸，反正都潰不成軍了，吳邪想也沒寫直接歪到另一邊靠在張起靈肩上，微妙的身高差很契合，一下子又睡去了。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEgfhFUXcP
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誰都只得那雙手…..靠擁抱亦難任你擁有......要擁有必先懂失去怎接受。馬跑燈的歌詞，一字一句敲進心裡，悲傷又美好。張起靈雙手環胸，藏在瀏海後的雙眼整晚都是清醒的。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbxTwtvuRc
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結束時都早上7點多，臭烘烘又油乎乎的一群人連早餐都不想吃就散了。清晨的薄霧吸進鼻腔內像薄荷油，涼得腦仁發疼，阿寧跟著幾個室友徒步走回家，徹夜未眠精神渙散，感覺都是虛浮的。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphGQqIGJdK
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再醒來已經過了大半天，反射性的去拿手機看時間，下午近傍晚，頭痛欲裂，起身去倒水。秀秀和霍玲也醒了，擠在電腦前不知道看什麼，壓抑不住的笑。阿寧捧著杯子走過去，原來是昨天球賽和聚會的照片傳上網了，密密麻麻標記了一堆人。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoqgxVurZk
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她回到自己房間開電腦，Win7介面跳出來，桌布背景是某次校外錦標賽的大合照。那時他們才剛升上大二，社團海選新生的動作還沒開始，吳邪的臉也尚未出現在他們的生活中。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwDMyFey3M
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點開微博把照片一張一張仔細看過，清晰的模糊的正規的偷拍的，林林總總什麼都有。幾張球員們勾肩搭背的照片、幾張女生的自拍、更多的是一群人擠在一塊搶鏡頭，人太多，在照片裡就被縮得很小，幾雙眼睛幾張臉，都是笑的。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNdQi9lTzk
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阿寧留心去看少數幾張張起靈的照片，那人一如既往沒什麼表情，只是吳邪始終都被照在同一個畫面裡。有一張甚至是兩個人的特寫，不知道誰有膽偷拍的，還是打瞌睡的醜態。吳邪歪在張起靈肩上，大腿還枕一個解雨臣，睡得嘴吧都微微張開只差沒流口水。張起靈拉起連帽杉的帽兜，整顆頭埋在底下，不知道是不是也睡著。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqaujnGiPl
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照片底下留言早炸開了鍋，笑說憨逼傻缺的笑說憨逼傻缺，羨慕忌妒恨的羨慕忌妒恨，罵左擁右抱用情不專的也都有，總歸都是開玩笑。阿寧盯著那些談笑風生的文字反覆看了好幾遍，覺得應該也要回覆些什麼，雙手搭在鍵盤上，螢幕的光線從明亮等到黯淡，空白的編輯欄底下卻找不到一個可以訴說的字眼。11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPUV0rpZ5h
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TBC.11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJodBaS7490
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