1、假设御天迷路了，然后遇到了漂流。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdB85kVbucM
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNflKYb8X5h
漂流：又迷路了吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnY8tB9RKr
御天：切，我只是在闲逛，你滚远点，风景里有你都变差了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXagrMBOifJ
漂流：要去哪儿啊，我送你去呗。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAkafmR9i0
御天：都说了你滚滚滚滚滚！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkboDGaBFU
漂流笑而不语，一会儿道：我跟剑鬼消息了，他说你们在小雷酒馆集合，这都差了大半个城了，你怎么能迷到这儿来的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmr1ikVQC6
御天：要你管！我跟公子要卷轴过去。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBOuggT9Fk
公子（消息）：卷轴5000金。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFxre29uGr
御天：QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg2LwMj8hF
漂流：你看，所以说还是我送你过去吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdxVzqvVQk
左手&右手一齐点头。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodK6n1Amvx
漂流：今天的风景挺好的，我们走走看看过去好了。反正你已经迟到了，也不差再晚一点。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWczdCxeW4
御天：……你他妈走就走！拉我手算什么！给我放开！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPn2rRQHiZ
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KK50SPVOT
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuBBe6yIo9
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt06l9lgGW
2、有一天，大家一起在小雷酒馆喝酒。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOx9Z8IwsH
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnFAPm1evm
公子：小雷，这酒不错，再来两杯。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JxUA5VW8F
小雷：好~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrBSGlFq9L
御天：公子好像已经喝了好几杯了，怎么还要喝啊。酒有那么好喝吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tNZsCOCPx
战无伤：这是大人的爱好，小孩子你就不懂了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAERDEThPy
御天：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5lz4vsHuV
佑哥：不过公子喝了那么多……我算算，大概得有5000金酒钱了吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkBzybHcrU
战无伤：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI3Nqjfzfe
剑鬼：重要的是，待会儿我们好像有任务，他喝成这样我们还能做任务吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXnc4zV63M
众人：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQx8opD5iUA
公子已醉，面色红润，东倒西歪。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeq0jjeKHB
佑哥：那个，要不谁来阻止一下他？（小声）反正我是不敢……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMafpijgEwK
战无伤&御天：我也……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGANaAXYJLW
剑鬼笑而不语。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QqOsThAFF
千里：一群人婆婆妈妈的是不是爷们啊，我来！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiW5smMuze
众人：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6k9ME6Sfjm
千里（一把夺走公子手中的酒杯）：公子，别喝了，要做正经事，赶紧的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsEDARdMvz
公子（媚眼瞪来，看似秋波暗送，实为横眉冷对）：还来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QyH4Vk6wb
千里：别喝了，这都几点了，做完任务我还赶着下线呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxhGltAaZM
众人：切~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKvw3uRGi1
公子（不断往千里身上靠，伸手去捞酒杯）：还来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTxldt0UBH
千里（慌乱状）：喂，你别乱来啊。大庭广众的……你给我下去，下去。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQpw09YXDQ
公子（整个人都坐到了千里的身上，蹭来蹭去）：还来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxf3dhcAGI
千里：擦！你们别光顾着看，帮忙啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3io877sz7
众人：你爷们你自己搞定。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrBtFYfK5I
千里分身无术，只得趁乱自己把酒给喝了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlymtOl0wF
千里：好了好了，走了走了，做任务去。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9xfIOtEws
公子：嗯？这里好像有酒的味道，是藏在这里了嘛？（摸着千里的唇）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pkIStVIq3
佑哥&剑鬼默默看向两边，战无伤蒙住御天的眼睛。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7wciqEzhC
御天：干嘛蒙住我，我要看，我要看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cJMis6yRp
公子按住千里的脑袋送上香吻一个，千里瞪大着眼睛看着公子妖孽的面容近在咫尺。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRdeAm9cD6
系统：您的心跳过快，为了您的身体健康，系统将在十秒后强制离线，现在开始倒计时，十，九……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcyP1HuAD8
于是只见白光一闪，千里从酒馆消失了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQVM3M8wiE
公子：切，怂货。小雷~再来两杯酒。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM49y55VMC
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplP6GGVkn8
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdEuYEz5cs
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlJJrmgoGf
3、和漂流一起做任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9OGz8pFOu
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8idLDdZRF6
御天：为什么这个家伙会在这里！！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSA6Z0vAv1
剑鬼：咳，漂流是过来帮忙做任务的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY8JEBsjzo
御天：强烈要求把这个家伙踢出队伍！他一定是来当奸细的！奸细！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh5jQTbBve
剑鬼：好了，我们来谈一下这次任务怎么分配。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyndMotyvPi
御天：……QAQ（被坐在旁边的漂流微笑着顺毛）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gQAdrMRyf
公子：这一次的任务是千里弄来的，啧，又是一个越级的奇葩任务，线索也不是很明确。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnqux5trHx
千里：嘿嘿。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKXRrSzEOY
公子：首先是主城沙漠古城的北部有一个教堂废墟，根据任务提示，里面应该会有线索。剑鬼和千里去那边调查一下，随时在频道里报告情况。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZdWTnGqCD
千里&剑鬼：好。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAstAk8dsGo
公子：接着是所谓城外有关海市蜃楼的传言，那是我们最终要去的地方。佑哥和战无伤一起去打探一下，找一下有没有入口。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfLpfMXsVH
佑哥：包在我身上了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO2jDiRAJG
公子：然后是那个强盗寨子，剩下还有谁？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GKULt8SZp
御天：我，我。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZFaXxN0qr
公子：嗯，那你和漂流一起去打探一下情况。左手也去，右手和我留在城里做接应。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscrp4Ieprc
御天：我反对！我不要和这个家伙一起行动！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4kusS2wiL
公子：反对无效，你能自己找到寨子的位置吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hNrc1NqSO
御天：……QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYWtINcFcQ
公子：好了，那就出发吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLn4FL8yio
公子掏出卷轴，白光一闪，众人便从小雷酒馆里消失了，随后九个人便一起出现在了主城沙漠古城里。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSWjDHfThM
御天：公子，可不可以我和佑哥去查海市蜃楼，战无伤跟着你，让右手和那家伙去寨子，反正他们三个人经常一起行动。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HmtwY4an5
战无伤：我去！我难得一次不当保镖我容易吗，别跟我抢啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuZvKm6aR8
公子：漂流他们都看不到佣兵团频道，联络起来不方便。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6H62kTX8nl
御天：那，那我就跟战无伤换，让战无伤跟着那家伙好了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXQOJch9ny
佑哥：别啊，带你去，到时候我是找入口还是找你啊……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKywX6zVtRR
御天：……QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxOd39anJT
于是漂流开开心心地搂着呆滞中的御天出发了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmNprqMQaj
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvAyDgF2kJ
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKstjNhOFk
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDQ75ck63s
4、和漂流一起埋伏。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrJowZWHXf
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUSerKsNzs
御天：……我们为什么要在草堆里埋伏……我们不是来跟NPC打探消息的吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBLpScdCH1
漂流：这里的NPC比较特殊，都是强盗，指不定一见面就直接化身开怪，所以我们要先观察一下。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUWdr4PYbQ
御天：那左手为什么不来埋伏？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tVsv7EIyM
漂流：全部都埋伏了，就没有人和NPC说话了啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3XOhMjrlI
御天：我可以去，你和左手埋伏观察好了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkd580W6x6
漂流：可是那样的话我会不放心啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETMWX1lpLI
御天：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjENCd3Fw9N
左手和第一个NPC说话，没有被砍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzRMOy0HLT
御天：好像没什么危险，要么我们也出去吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74zUxweK1T
漂流：不好说，等等再看看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsuKoHo2MV
左手和第二个NPC说话，还是没有被砍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXtyYZdxYd
御天：好像真没什么危险，我说你是不是太胆小了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1aFU8LioB
漂流：不是胆小是谨慎。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThAnAOddBd
左手和第三个NPC说话，依旧没有被砍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviHFEn6CNa
御天：好像真……………………TMD你在摸哪儿！你敢吃我豆腐！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Mnsq93E5Q
漂流：我只是怕你蹲久了身子麻，帮你揉一揉。乖~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21dhFeBXcY
御天：滚！蹲久了也用不着揉【哗——】啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbVtCznLJo
（佣兵团频道内）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcTp2I4N13
御天：我抗议！我正在被那个家伙性骚扰！QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhQDbtpMov
众人：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5LcZKl9wa
公子：啧，漂流眼光真差。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsyfk5IVb6
千里：就是。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfZEyF60xo
众人：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJ5fkQSqXe
御天：靠！你们这对狗男男。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2sKIIf4Tp
御天决定自救，遂掏出家伙对着漂流。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj85gkTpJ9
御天：信不信我现在就砍了你。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUoBpN2Hqo
漂流：距离太近了，你射不到我的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjlL6Lix83
御天：靠！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAhbRUJZch
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkMN4QfvoS
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZeskMmiLC
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjvCGsOIDq
5、又到了一年一度的情人节，游戏里也举办了活动。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VVZjWC7os
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB0GDhDMh9
剑鬼：系统通知都收到了吗？情人节貌似有特殊任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3bvaN22pf
战无伤：情人节任务关你什么事，你连对象都没有。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS8qgyt9Zt
剑鬼：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmLECpBLvX
佑哥：根据我的情报，貌似也不是只有情侣才能做任务，还有单身的任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSe6QexP0dM
御天：啧，你们这群光棍就去做光棍任务吧，我去找葡萄妹子陪我做情侣任务，哈哈。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5ywFxCZhy
众人：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AvAo0Vdj7
御天欢天喜地地奔去找葡萄妹子了，剩下的三人结伴来到街上，打算去接任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9usgJdq3Q
剑鬼：任务怎么接？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp5SvPQ2yp
佑哥：听说是找城里的NPC接，具体还没有打听到，但听说一看就明白。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIF4LFvylfy
战无伤：是指那个吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDCJjWQhT1
战无伤指着不远处一排卫兵，只是与平时不同的是，几乎每个卫兵头上都戴着一个写着“死”字的头巾。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJU4I6NiojJ
佑哥：大概……走过去看看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn46lAoS4S
三人走到一个戴着“死”字头巾的卫兵面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSFs6RUweV
剑鬼：情人节任务怎么接？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fPnyzKWor
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！拿好这根火柴，去烧掉10对“隐秘的情侣”就可以成为我们的高级团员，我在这里等你消息。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss7oVJE7Tz
系统：是否接收道具“光棍之棍”？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3731mt4FWK
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8fyPciZEN
战无伤：怎么样怎么样，我看卫兵好像给了你个什么东西？武器？加什么的？啧，一上来就发东西，真大方啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoRko45OnZ
剑鬼：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AyeKoRipC
战无伤：嘿嘿，我也去领一个，你们等着。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiwwqjiiRM
过了一会儿，战无伤领好任务回来了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigZzMDcZkD
战无伤：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPduOrKotF
过了一会儿，佑哥也领好任务回来了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B4ToBnGGq
佑哥：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsui5xPXIq
剑鬼：不知道没有带头巾的卫兵有什么区别？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoYb5uqgm5
佑哥：再去试试看呗。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1rCrpF0Xr
三人走到没有带头巾的卫兵面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUwAtd3OAW
剑鬼：情人节任务……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSzlCGNqRN
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……咦？你是去死去死团的！！不要烧我啊！我没有女朋友！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPyxxJytG3
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmCsI1zIzd
（与此同时，同城的另一个角落）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01QIBI7Cgm
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……你们看，我连礼物都买好了，是她一直想要的项链，你们可不可以帮我送去给她？这对戒指就当做酬劳送给你们好了，上次买来被她嫌弃难看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZbFBeMz9l
系统：是否接收道具“情侣戒指”？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo9gbVTeAP
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHHjeSVpU3
剑鬼&佑哥&战无伤千辛万苦终于烧完情侣回来了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmXxVorVL1
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！干得好，你们真是去死去死团的楷模！这个礼盒是成为高级团员的奖品，里面的东西你应该用得上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAfinFr5oc
三人打开礼盒后，发现都是自己职业用得上的装备。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1JDsUmyzN
佑哥：还真是普通的奖品啊，不过属性还不错。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSkOxnHGCD
剑鬼：我这个没什么用，还没有我现在用的那个属性好。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQkvAsccDA
战无伤：奖品算什么，烧情侣才是重点。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5MX61WAe4
佑哥&剑鬼：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eNGRKhHR8
这时，三人突然看见御天气势汹汹地从远处走过来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIQRXkmz7R
佑哥：哎，御天，情侣任务的奖品是什么啊？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RQtXA3Te9
御天：…………………………漂流在哪里！！让我烧了他！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdc81h5ITuH
然后御天又气势汹汹地踩踏着红尘滚滚地离开了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbHr6TI9rC
佑哥：御天怎么了？吃火药了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaIm3UPoZO
公子：他只是被漂流坑了，不能和葡萄一起做情侣任务了而已。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqLTYcsWiK
佑哥：这样哦。哎哎？公子你来了？咦？千里也在。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsWkRzK8kY
公子：想知道情侣任务的奖品？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZC4uqYyquo
佑哥：是呀，是呀，公子你知道。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC07Buix8gU
公子：就是这么个玩意儿。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJJGkaqCmP
公子从衣服里掏出了一枚戒指，随意地扔在众人面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlO4q6RePW
佑哥：我看看。情侣戒指，任务物品，不可交易，火法抗性+20%！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKYkkA9Pj1
剑鬼：数值挺高的啊。不过火法抗性对你没什么用吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGRaAcJ7Up
公子：活动的噱头而已。一开始发任务时候就给的，任务完成后可以永久持有。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHJNq35LaX
战无伤：等等！公子你和谁一起做的任务！难道是去重生紫晶借的妹子！这样的好事怎么不叫上我啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrrPqB6uAt
公子：和千里做的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioSTmHAG7o
战无伤：原来是和千里做的啊……神马！和千里！男人也行！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgjhcxRDDq
公子：谁跟你们说过情侣任务只能男女做。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbmN73bNfs
战无伤：靠！无耻！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTAtMyJIR5
（N个城外的某个角落）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgeARtvuwP
漂流：我说，你总是这么追杀我，我都没法去找那个谁的女朋友了，任务完成不了对我们谁都没好处。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaY2nE3W8Gk
御天：去死吧！谁要跟你完成情侣任务！完成不了最好！去死去死去死！！！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCdlU3EHRG
漂流：都说了这么近你射不到我的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGC26Kw79CP
御天：那就滚远点！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlY8s8wj43C
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpI92GEpVBw
* 补充：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeSYCiSnAp
如果不是两个人去找非去死去死团的NPC：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9igXnftGTZ
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……对啦，我有女朋友的事情可不要跟我旁边的兄弟说，他们是去死去死团的，我怕我会被烧掉。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyQzrlBzKj
如果领好了情侣任务再去找去死去死团NPC：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDceRT27Qfs
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！神马！你们是情侣！烧掉！！（受到卫兵火法攻击，不过情侣戒指的火法抗性针对该NPC是100%的，记得带好就不会挂。）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtHI6jDt1l
关于情侣任务里的卫兵的女朋友：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjR4fcKV4e
看起来貌似找到就可以了，不过其实是个boss需要打一打。把项链交给女朋友后，女朋友会很快注意到情侣玩家身上携带的情侣戒指。虽然是自己曾经嫌弃的东西，但是看到戴在别人的身上依旧会暴走。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdR8FJ9XkB
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPE1pqzIzr
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi225hkMajX
6、佑哥在练级区泡到一个妹子。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChBZ91Pa7a
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTS3V1iRaX
妹子：哎？你真的是佑哥？那个无所不知的佑哥？（星星眼）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Aka52egn8
佑哥：是啊，你有什么想知道的尽管问我。（自豪状）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIXekvdOS3
妹子：那你快告诉我双鬼谁攻谁受！我纠结这个问题好多年了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjDkf2tkta
佑哥：额，公子和剑鬼？不是啊，公子和千里才是一对。咦？妹子你要去哪里？等等我呗〜57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMiYF5nIpZ
妹子：小晴！我的CP被拆了！酒鬼大大居然跟那个叫千里一醉的是一对！我的双鬼啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuDUYEdJNb
小晴：哦，我无所谓啦，反正我是公子总受派的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY6GFi0nPL
佑哥：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQOxvjteoh
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdu6AEhIaL
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuTrJBWB2G
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMng5tvMJPT
7、有一天，御天在三次元里碰到了漂流。（私设）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuguO7RHhG
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfDK5LCVzi
御天：QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWiBflUVPl
战无伤：怎么了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrREi6x4uZ
御天：我今天遇到漂流了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Tv1y7rxo9
战无伤：你不是天天都遇到他么。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEEltheAAQ
御天：不是说游戏里，是在电梯里遇到的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51G9TOXB3H
战无伤：哪儿的电梯？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk14Ar6fnB
御天：家里的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtPPwglqdy
战无伤：哟，你们还是邻居啊？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkxz62ApAM
御天：对啊，我也不想的！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPpQ2DaD26
战无伤：[蜡烛]57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjuKYeHVb7
（过了几天）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyZmJQb1h4
御天：漂流你给我滚出来！有种你跟我单挑！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxyD9XrycM
战无伤：他又怎么你了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SVy9K3qSh
御天：他守我电梯！现在每天都得跟他搭同一部电梯下楼，真是生不如死！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1bbY4kXgX
战无伤：[蜡烛]57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq4jPgjdkc
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGwjcrWx4s
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDZBeJezTS
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnOMbSAWXz
8、小雷又研究出了新的酒。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJm8UiBPnp
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYdMFzbK66
小雷：公子，这是我新弄的酒，系统酒馆都没得卖呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvrF7A1pRB
公子：哦？不错，来一杯尝尝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPYNeWUlqT
于是小雷很开心地跑进去把新酒端了上来，然后小心翼翼地看着公子品尝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1m7P1eEh4
小雷：怎么样？还不错吧。我觉得公子会比较喜欢这种口感，所以特地配的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBagZrIMKY8
公子：嗯，不错，知我者小雷也。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rjBNlILkC
小雷：嗯嗯。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcqEu9yqy6
公子：小雷，我突然发现，你才是我生命中最重要的人。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbbZxjNdfg
小雷：公子！（泪花闪闪感动状）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aNIeZKdLs
公子：小雷！（泪花闪闪感动状）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQJEMqaKCt
千里突然有了深深的危机感。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4VM6Xp6Pr
佑哥：嘿嘿，新酒不错啊，小雷也给我们上一份吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDdWNzBpI2
小雷：你们？哦，做这个酒挺费时间的，我做了好几天才做出几杯，都要留着给公子呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I2kb0qVyn
佑哥：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeuJoX0Asu
小雷：不过倒是可以给你们喝点别的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQnQSDbLdB
过了一会儿，小雷又端上来几份不属于系统酒的不明液体，一人一杯地放在众人的面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtksSdsjzV
佑哥：……这是啥？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63YH003duQ
小雷：研究过程中的副产品，看在你们是公子的朋友的份上就免费给你们喝好了。用的材料也很贵，倒掉怪浪费的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jOQwPUoxk
佑哥：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3kAlItJlo
众人突然有了深深的危机感。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7SvMrNDjP
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBlrIpLXhw
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3L0RuBvLf
FREETALK57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEKWvN2qt7
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2TexJH2Ge
感谢收养这份……没什么意义的段子集XD。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHairtVuP0C
看完近战以后就很HAPPY地各种脑补，并弃无数坑于不顾地来写近战的段子。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuVSyxTTOG
近战里一直很很很很很喜欢漂流，直到他黑掉，我惊悚脸啊！御天也非常可爱，每次碰到漂流都一副炸毛的样子，我于是便当机立断这是一对XD（神马逻辑！）。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n7A0k0GJb
韩家公子也是我超喜欢的类型，智慧型美男啊~~~~~然后每次公子指点江山，我都会很YY地想着，公子你果然不愧是贤内助。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulI16wPmHw
然后是御天和战无伤，万年泡妞无果二人组，这两个人一老一少一搭一唱总觉得也很有意思~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2MCWhHoVC
剑鬼是最最最正直的真汉子！所以脑补他每次被众人的各种欢脱弄得无语到麻木，于是笑而不语。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofNwADizX9
至于佑哥的话，情报王嘛~ 情报=八卦（不对！）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwcvOyb30K
总之，如果以后还有机会也会在写近战的段子~欢迎大家来我微博或者博客上看哦~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6DzvtrZSZ
以上~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj2D4QQMS0
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxami4jDIE
2013年11月
ns216.73.216.192da2 57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNflKYb8X5h
漂流：又迷路了吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnY8tB9RKr
御天：切，我只是在闲逛，你滚远点，风景里有你都变差了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXagrMBOifJ
漂流：要去哪儿啊，我送你去呗。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAkafmR9i0
御天：都说了你滚滚滚滚滚！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkboDGaBFU
漂流笑而不语，一会儿道：我跟剑鬼消息了，他说你们在小雷酒馆集合，这都差了大半个城了，你怎么能迷到这儿来的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmr1ikVQC6
御天：要你管！我跟公子要卷轴过去。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBOuggT9Fk
公子（消息）：卷轴5000金。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFxre29uGr
御天：QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg2LwMj8hF
漂流：你看，所以说还是我送你过去吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdxVzqvVQk
左手&右手一齐点头。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodK6n1Amvx
漂流：今天的风景挺好的，我们走走看看过去好了。反正你已经迟到了，也不差再晚一点。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWczdCxeW4
御天：……你他妈走就走！拉我手算什么！给我放开！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPn2rRQHiZ
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KK50SPVOT
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuBBe6yIo9
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt06l9lgGW
2、有一天，大家一起在小雷酒馆喝酒。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOx9Z8IwsH
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnFAPm1evm
公子：小雷，这酒不错，再来两杯。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JxUA5VW8F
小雷：好~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrBSGlFq9L
御天：公子好像已经喝了好几杯了，怎么还要喝啊。酒有那么好喝吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tNZsCOCPx
战无伤：这是大人的爱好，小孩子你就不懂了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAERDEThPy
御天：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5lz4vsHuV
佑哥：不过公子喝了那么多……我算算，大概得有5000金酒钱了吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkBzybHcrU
战无伤：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI3Nqjfzfe
剑鬼：重要的是，待会儿我们好像有任务，他喝成这样我们还能做任务吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXnc4zV63M
众人：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQx8opD5iUA
公子已醉，面色红润，东倒西歪。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeq0jjeKHB
佑哥：那个，要不谁来阻止一下他？（小声）反正我是不敢……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMafpijgEwK
战无伤&御天：我也……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGANaAXYJLW
剑鬼笑而不语。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QqOsThAFF
千里：一群人婆婆妈妈的是不是爷们啊，我来！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiW5smMuze
众人：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6k9ME6Sfjm
千里（一把夺走公子手中的酒杯）：公子，别喝了，要做正经事，赶紧的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsEDARdMvz
公子（媚眼瞪来，看似秋波暗送，实为横眉冷对）：还来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QyH4Vk6wb
千里：别喝了，这都几点了，做完任务我还赶着下线呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxhGltAaZM
众人：切~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKvw3uRGi1
公子（不断往千里身上靠，伸手去捞酒杯）：还来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTxldt0UBH
千里（慌乱状）：喂，你别乱来啊。大庭广众的……你给我下去，下去。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQpw09YXDQ
公子（整个人都坐到了千里的身上，蹭来蹭去）：还来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxf3dhcAGI
千里：擦！你们别光顾着看，帮忙啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3io877sz7
众人：你爷们你自己搞定。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrBtFYfK5I
千里分身无术，只得趁乱自己把酒给喝了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlymtOl0wF
千里：好了好了，走了走了，做任务去。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9xfIOtEws
公子：嗯？这里好像有酒的味道，是藏在这里了嘛？（摸着千里的唇）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pkIStVIq3
佑哥&剑鬼默默看向两边，战无伤蒙住御天的眼睛。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7wciqEzhC
御天：干嘛蒙住我，我要看，我要看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cJMis6yRp
公子按住千里的脑袋送上香吻一个，千里瞪大着眼睛看着公子妖孽的面容近在咫尺。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRdeAm9cD6
系统：您的心跳过快，为了您的身体健康，系统将在十秒后强制离线，现在开始倒计时，十，九……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcyP1HuAD8
于是只见白光一闪，千里从酒馆消失了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQVM3M8wiE
公子：切，怂货。小雷~再来两杯酒。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM49y55VMC
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplP6GGVkn8
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdEuYEz5cs
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlJJrmgoGf
3、和漂流一起做任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9OGz8pFOu
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8idLDdZRF6
御天：为什么这个家伙会在这里！！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSA6Z0vAv1
剑鬼：咳，漂流是过来帮忙做任务的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY8JEBsjzo
御天：强烈要求把这个家伙踢出队伍！他一定是来当奸细的！奸细！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh5jQTbBve
剑鬼：好了，我们来谈一下这次任务怎么分配。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyndMotyvPi
御天：……QAQ（被坐在旁边的漂流微笑着顺毛）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gQAdrMRyf
公子：这一次的任务是千里弄来的，啧，又是一个越级的奇葩任务，线索也不是很明确。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnqux5trHx
千里：嘿嘿。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKXRrSzEOY
公子：首先是主城沙漠古城的北部有一个教堂废墟，根据任务提示，里面应该会有线索。剑鬼和千里去那边调查一下，随时在频道里报告情况。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZdWTnGqCD
千里&剑鬼：好。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAstAk8dsGo
公子：接着是所谓城外有关海市蜃楼的传言，那是我们最终要去的地方。佑哥和战无伤一起去打探一下，找一下有没有入口。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfLpfMXsVH
佑哥：包在我身上了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO2jDiRAJG
公子：然后是那个强盗寨子，剩下还有谁？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GKULt8SZp
御天：我，我。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZFaXxN0qr
公子：嗯，那你和漂流一起去打探一下情况。左手也去，右手和我留在城里做接应。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscrp4Ieprc
御天：我反对！我不要和这个家伙一起行动！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4kusS2wiL
公子：反对无效，你能自己找到寨子的位置吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hNrc1NqSO
御天：……QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYWtINcFcQ
公子：好了，那就出发吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLn4FL8yio
公子掏出卷轴，白光一闪，众人便从小雷酒馆里消失了，随后九个人便一起出现在了主城沙漠古城里。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSWjDHfThM
御天：公子，可不可以我和佑哥去查海市蜃楼，战无伤跟着你，让右手和那家伙去寨子，反正他们三个人经常一起行动。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HmtwY4an5
战无伤：我去！我难得一次不当保镖我容易吗，别跟我抢啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuZvKm6aR8
公子：漂流他们都看不到佣兵团频道，联络起来不方便。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6H62kTX8nl
御天：那，那我就跟战无伤换，让战无伤跟着那家伙好了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXQOJch9ny
佑哥：别啊，带你去，到时候我是找入口还是找你啊……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKywX6zVtRR
御天：……QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxOd39anJT
于是漂流开开心心地搂着呆滞中的御天出发了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmNprqMQaj
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvAyDgF2kJ
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKstjNhOFk
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDQ75ck63s
4、和漂流一起埋伏。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrJowZWHXf
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUSerKsNzs
御天：……我们为什么要在草堆里埋伏……我们不是来跟NPC打探消息的吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBLpScdCH1
漂流：这里的NPC比较特殊，都是强盗，指不定一见面就直接化身开怪，所以我们要先观察一下。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUWdr4PYbQ
御天：那左手为什么不来埋伏？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tVsv7EIyM
漂流：全部都埋伏了，就没有人和NPC说话了啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3XOhMjrlI
御天：我可以去，你和左手埋伏观察好了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkd580W6x6
漂流：可是那样的话我会不放心啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETMWX1lpLI
御天：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjENCd3Fw9N
左手和第一个NPC说话，没有被砍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzRMOy0HLT
御天：好像没什么危险，要么我们也出去吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74zUxweK1T
漂流：不好说，等等再看看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsuKoHo2MV
左手和第二个NPC说话，还是没有被砍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXtyYZdxYd
御天：好像真没什么危险，我说你是不是太胆小了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1aFU8LioB
漂流：不是胆小是谨慎。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThAnAOddBd
左手和第三个NPC说话，依旧没有被砍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviHFEn6CNa
御天：好像真……………………TMD你在摸哪儿！你敢吃我豆腐！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Mnsq93E5Q
漂流：我只是怕你蹲久了身子麻，帮你揉一揉。乖~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21dhFeBXcY
御天：滚！蹲久了也用不着揉【哗——】啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbVtCznLJo
（佣兵团频道内）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcTp2I4N13
御天：我抗议！我正在被那个家伙性骚扰！QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhQDbtpMov
众人：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5LcZKl9wa
公子：啧，漂流眼光真差。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsyfk5IVb6
千里：就是。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfZEyF60xo
众人：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJ5fkQSqXe
御天：靠！你们这对狗男男。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2sKIIf4Tp
御天决定自救，遂掏出家伙对着漂流。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj85gkTpJ9
御天：信不信我现在就砍了你。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUoBpN2Hqo
漂流：距离太近了，你射不到我的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjlL6Lix83
御天：靠！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAhbRUJZch
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkMN4QfvoS
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZeskMmiLC
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjvCGsOIDq
5、又到了一年一度的情人节，游戏里也举办了活动。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VVZjWC7os
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB0GDhDMh9
剑鬼：系统通知都收到了吗？情人节貌似有特殊任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3bvaN22pf
战无伤：情人节任务关你什么事，你连对象都没有。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS8qgyt9Zt
剑鬼：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmLECpBLvX
佑哥：根据我的情报，貌似也不是只有情侣才能做任务，还有单身的任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSe6QexP0dM
御天：啧，你们这群光棍就去做光棍任务吧，我去找葡萄妹子陪我做情侣任务，哈哈。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5ywFxCZhy
众人：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AvAo0Vdj7
御天欢天喜地地奔去找葡萄妹子了，剩下的三人结伴来到街上，打算去接任务。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9usgJdq3Q
剑鬼：任务怎么接？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp5SvPQ2yp
佑哥：听说是找城里的NPC接，具体还没有打听到，但听说一看就明白。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIF4LFvylfy
战无伤：是指那个吗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDCJjWQhT1
战无伤指着不远处一排卫兵，只是与平时不同的是，几乎每个卫兵头上都戴着一个写着“死”字的头巾。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJU4I6NiojJ
佑哥：大概……走过去看看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn46lAoS4S
三人走到一个戴着“死”字头巾的卫兵面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSFs6RUweV
剑鬼：情人节任务怎么接？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fPnyzKWor
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！拿好这根火柴，去烧掉10对“隐秘的情侣”就可以成为我们的高级团员，我在这里等你消息。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss7oVJE7Tz
系统：是否接收道具“光棍之棍”？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3731mt4FWK
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8fyPciZEN
战无伤：怎么样怎么样，我看卫兵好像给了你个什么东西？武器？加什么的？啧，一上来就发东西，真大方啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoRko45OnZ
剑鬼：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AyeKoRipC
战无伤：嘿嘿，我也去领一个，你们等着。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiwwqjiiRM
过了一会儿，战无伤领好任务回来了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigZzMDcZkD
战无伤：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPduOrKotF
过了一会儿，佑哥也领好任务回来了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B4ToBnGGq
佑哥：擦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsui5xPXIq
剑鬼：不知道没有带头巾的卫兵有什么区别？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoYb5uqgm5
佑哥：再去试试看呗。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1rCrpF0Xr
三人走到没有带头巾的卫兵面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUwAtd3OAW
剑鬼：情人节任务……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSzlCGNqRN
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……咦？你是去死去死团的！！不要烧我啊！我没有女朋友！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPyxxJytG3
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmCsI1zIzd
（与此同时，同城的另一个角落）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01QIBI7Cgm
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……你们看，我连礼物都买好了，是她一直想要的项链，你们可不可以帮我送去给她？这对戒指就当做酬劳送给你们好了，上次买来被她嫌弃难看。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZbFBeMz9l
系统：是否接收道具“情侣戒指”？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo9gbVTeAP
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHHjeSVpU3
剑鬼&佑哥&战无伤千辛万苦终于烧完情侣回来了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmXxVorVL1
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！干得好，你们真是去死去死团的楷模！这个礼盒是成为高级团员的奖品，里面的东西你应该用得上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAfinFr5oc
三人打开礼盒后，发现都是自己职业用得上的装备。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1JDsUmyzN
佑哥：还真是普通的奖品啊，不过属性还不错。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSkOxnHGCD
剑鬼：我这个没什么用，还没有我现在用的那个属性好。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQkvAsccDA
战无伤：奖品算什么，烧情侣才是重点。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5MX61WAe4
佑哥&剑鬼：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eNGRKhHR8
这时，三人突然看见御天气势汹汹地从远处走过来。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIQRXkmz7R
佑哥：哎，御天，情侣任务的奖品是什么啊？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RQtXA3Te9
御天：…………………………漂流在哪里！！让我烧了他！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdc81h5ITuH
然后御天又气势汹汹地踩踏着红尘滚滚地离开了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbHr6TI9rC
佑哥：御天怎么了？吃火药了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaIm3UPoZO
公子：他只是被漂流坑了，不能和葡萄一起做情侣任务了而已。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqLTYcsWiK
佑哥：这样哦。哎哎？公子你来了？咦？千里也在。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsWkRzK8kY
公子：想知道情侣任务的奖品？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZC4uqYyquo
佑哥：是呀，是呀，公子你知道。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC07Buix8gU
公子：就是这么个玩意儿。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJJGkaqCmP
公子从衣服里掏出了一枚戒指，随意地扔在众人面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlO4q6RePW
佑哥：我看看。情侣戒指，任务物品，不可交易，火法抗性+20%！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKYkkA9Pj1
剑鬼：数值挺高的啊。不过火法抗性对你没什么用吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGRaAcJ7Up
公子：活动的噱头而已。一开始发任务时候就给的，任务完成后可以永久持有。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHJNq35LaX
战无伤：等等！公子你和谁一起做的任务！难道是去重生紫晶借的妹子！这样的好事怎么不叫上我啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrrPqB6uAt
公子：和千里做的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioSTmHAG7o
战无伤：原来是和千里做的啊……神马！和千里！男人也行！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgjhcxRDDq
公子：谁跟你们说过情侣任务只能男女做。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbmN73bNfs
战无伤：靠！无耻！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTAtMyJIR5
（N个城外的某个角落）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgeARtvuwP
漂流：我说，你总是这么追杀我，我都没法去找那个谁的女朋友了，任务完成不了对我们谁都没好处。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaY2nE3W8Gk
御天：去死吧！谁要跟你完成情侣任务！完成不了最好！去死去死去死！！！！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCdlU3EHRG
漂流：都说了这么近你射不到我的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGC26Kw79CP
御天：那就滚远点！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlY8s8wj43C
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpI92GEpVBw
* 补充：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeSYCiSnAp
如果不是两个人去找非去死去死团的NPC：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9igXnftGTZ
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……对啦，我有女朋友的事情可不要跟我旁边的兄弟说，他们是去死去死团的，我怕我会被烧掉。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyQzrlBzKj
如果领好了情侣任务再去找去死去死团NPC：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDceRT27Qfs
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！神马！你们是情侣！烧掉！！（受到卫兵火法攻击，不过情侣戒指的火法抗性针对该NPC是100%的，记得带好就不会挂。）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtHI6jDt1l
关于情侣任务里的卫兵的女朋友：57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjR4fcKV4e
看起来貌似找到就可以了，不过其实是个boss需要打一打。把项链交给女朋友后，女朋友会很快注意到情侣玩家身上携带的情侣戒指。虽然是自己曾经嫌弃的东西，但是看到戴在别人的身上依旧会暴走。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdR8FJ9XkB
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPE1pqzIzr
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi225hkMajX
6、佑哥在练级区泡到一个妹子。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChBZ91Pa7a
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTS3V1iRaX
妹子：哎？你真的是佑哥？那个无所不知的佑哥？（星星眼）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Aka52egn8
佑哥：是啊，你有什么想知道的尽管问我。（自豪状）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIXekvdOS3
妹子：那你快告诉我双鬼谁攻谁受！我纠结这个问题好多年了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjDkf2tkta
佑哥：额，公子和剑鬼？不是啊，公子和千里才是一对。咦？妹子你要去哪里？等等我呗〜57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMiYF5nIpZ
妹子：小晴！我的CP被拆了！酒鬼大大居然跟那个叫千里一醉的是一对！我的双鬼啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuDUYEdJNb
小晴：哦，我无所谓啦，反正我是公子总受派的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY6GFi0nPL
佑哥：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQOxvjteoh
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdu6AEhIaL
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuTrJBWB2G
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMng5tvMJPT
7、有一天，御天在三次元里碰到了漂流。（私设）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuguO7RHhG
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfDK5LCVzi
御天：QAQ57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWiBflUVPl
战无伤：怎么了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrREi6x4uZ
御天：我今天遇到漂流了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Tv1y7rxo9
战无伤：你不是天天都遇到他么。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEEltheAAQ
御天：不是说游戏里，是在电梯里遇到的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51G9TOXB3H
战无伤：哪儿的电梯？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk14Ar6fnB
御天：家里的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtPPwglqdy
战无伤：哟，你们还是邻居啊？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkxz62ApAM
御天：对啊，我也不想的！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPpQ2DaD26
战无伤：[蜡烛]57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjuKYeHVb7
（过了几天）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyZmJQb1h4
御天：漂流你给我滚出来！有种你跟我单挑！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxyD9XrycM
战无伤：他又怎么你了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SVy9K3qSh
御天：他守我电梯！现在每天都得跟他搭同一部电梯下楼，真是生不如死！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1bbY4kXgX
战无伤：[蜡烛]57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq4jPgjdkc
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGwjcrWx4s
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDZBeJezTS
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnOMbSAWXz
8、小雷又研究出了新的酒。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJm8UiBPnp
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYdMFzbK66
小雷：公子，这是我新弄的酒，系统酒馆都没得卖呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvrF7A1pRB
公子：哦？不错，来一杯尝尝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPYNeWUlqT
于是小雷很开心地跑进去把新酒端了上来，然后小心翼翼地看着公子品尝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1m7P1eEh4
小雷：怎么样？还不错吧。我觉得公子会比较喜欢这种口感，所以特地配的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBagZrIMKY8
公子：嗯，不错，知我者小雷也。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rjBNlILkC
小雷：嗯嗯。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcqEu9yqy6
公子：小雷，我突然发现，你才是我生命中最重要的人。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbbZxjNdfg
小雷：公子！（泪花闪闪感动状）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aNIeZKdLs
公子：小雷！（泪花闪闪感动状）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQJEMqaKCt
千里突然有了深深的危机感。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4VM6Xp6Pr
佑哥：嘿嘿，新酒不错啊，小雷也给我们上一份吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDdWNzBpI2
小雷：你们？哦，做这个酒挺费时间的，我做了好几天才做出几杯，都要留着给公子呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I2kb0qVyn
佑哥：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeuJoX0Asu
小雷：不过倒是可以给你们喝点别的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQnQSDbLdB
过了一会儿，小雷又端上来几份不属于系统酒的不明液体，一人一杯地放在众人的面前。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtksSdsjzV
佑哥：……这是啥？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63YH003duQ
小雷：研究过程中的副产品，看在你们是公子的朋友的份上就免费给你们喝好了。用的材料也很贵，倒掉怪浪费的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jOQwPUoxk
佑哥：……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3kAlItJlo
众人突然有了深深的危机感。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7SvMrNDjP
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBlrIpLXhw
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3L0RuBvLf
FREETALK57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEKWvN2qt7
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2TexJH2Ge
感谢收养这份……没什么意义的段子集XD。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHairtVuP0C
看完近战以后就很HAPPY地各种脑补，并弃无数坑于不顾地来写近战的段子。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuVSyxTTOG
近战里一直很很很很很喜欢漂流，直到他黑掉，我惊悚脸啊！御天也非常可爱，每次碰到漂流都一副炸毛的样子，我于是便当机立断这是一对XD（神马逻辑！）。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n7A0k0GJb
韩家公子也是我超喜欢的类型，智慧型美男啊~~~~~然后每次公子指点江山，我都会很YY地想着，公子你果然不愧是贤内助。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulI16wPmHw
然后是御天和战无伤，万年泡妞无果二人组，这两个人一老一少一搭一唱总觉得也很有意思~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2MCWhHoVC
剑鬼是最最最正直的真汉子！所以脑补他每次被众人的各种欢脱弄得无语到麻木，于是笑而不语。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofNwADizX9
至于佑哥的话，情报王嘛~ 情报=八卦（不对！）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwcvOyb30K
总之，如果以后还有机会也会在写近战的段子~欢迎大家来我微博或者博客上看哦~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6DzvtrZSZ
以上~57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj2D4QQMS0
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxami4jDIE
2013年11月
