403Please respect copyright.PENANAdqfXFfgQBB
I was only nine.
Just nine.
I remember, Ma and Pa said that going with the Donnor's was best.
That it would be quicker.
Safer.
But I didn't know any better, I thought they knew best!
I wish I yelled at them
I wish I screamed at them that we needed to go the other route.
But I didn't, because they knew best.
And then the winter came.
Oh lord...it was awful.
Can that even describe it?
I'd never seen anything like that, we were all starving.
I thought I was gonna die...I was so hungry.
403Please respect copyright.PENANA9W5lQ4L4Eu
Ma--Ma died first, when the starvation hit.
The baby needed nursing...and every food she had eiether went to us or that baby.
Lord, she looked like a skeleton when she died.
I remember crying, "Ma, don't stay asleep. You have to wake up for supper."
403Please respect copyright.PENANAvMUQlR19wu
The next night Pa said he'd found...a...nice...Ox for us....
But Pa was an awful liar, and I could see him cry: He couldn't eat it.
I thought I wouldn't be able to eiether, I mean, how could I? But I was:
S o h u n g r y
I thought it would be awful. I thought I would have to choke it down, or throw up.
But it...was...
D e l i c i o u s .
403Please respect copyright.PENANAF78IAf0S0c
I wanted more.
No, I needed more.
Whatever it took, I had to have more.
403Please respect copyright.PENANA3luBakul92
403Please respect copyright.PENANAnvvLpS4lcH
Pa went out next, with a few others in the expedition.
To try and find saftey, or help, or anything.
Pa didn't come back, but he gave me his locket that had all of us in it.
He died...alone....
But at least niether of them had to know what I did.
403Please respect copyright.PENANA4xgykyEISU
And then the baby...Lord...why did I do it? It had been four days since I had eaten, and--and the baby would have died, anyway!
We all knew that, it was sick and starving!
And alI could think about was eating.
All I could think about was having that delicious...meat--I could taste it in my mouth!
I shouldn't have done it.
I shouldn't have given into my hunger.
I shouldn't have hurt him.
Why did I do it...? I c a m e t o h i m , w i t h a n i c e b i g r o c k .
403Please respect copyright.PENANAuJMNNUSM1o
I-I lied to everyone that my little brother had been attacked by a wild animal...that I had already dug a grave.
I said they shouldn't look at it, because he was half-eaten. Well that part was true. Oh heavens...I really am a monster, aren't I? And after that...there was no going back.
403Please respect copyright.PENANAqpgbFDW5Iy
No way to stop.
403Please respect copyright.PENANACD9TuetnPY
403Please respect copyright.PENANAqXlGZu6uZm
I woke up screaming that night from pain, it felt like my body was getting stretched...and I could feel my teeth getting bigger, sharper.
403Please respect copyright.PENANAkjDMEb4Ztk
And somehow, the winter just got worse.
403Please respect copyright.PENANA2EcxerEjFF
So many died.
My brother died.
403Please respect copyright.PENANAzGeHcjBdE3
My sister died.
403Please respect copyright.PENANAgC5NCr5Kw9
Strangers died.
403Please respect copyright.PENANAObOSvDTCsM
A n d I a t e t h e m a l l
403Please respect copyright.PENANAbgehTaRjIR
The more I ate, the more it consumed me.
I couldn't think of anything else, or care about anything else, other then the precious Meat.
The hunger was all of me.
I got rescued, and I even almost looked like myself, other then being just a little too tall, my teeth a little too sharp.
But the thing that got rescued wasn't Arthur Miller.
Not anymore.
403Please respect copyright.PENANAscUdYcuhRs
I wish I had died with them.
Well...in some ways I did403Please respect copyright.PENANAib3EoxqNlp