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Can sunshines be blue?
I always wanted to write about you. Always. I have loved you. I love you. And I will love you till the end of time.
You never knew, but, I waited. I waited for hours, days, months and years. I waited every summer, monsoon and spring of my life. For you.
You loved me. You loved me like the whole world was in my eyes. I still remember the day we met. At a coffee shop, you sat there in a corner and I was practicing for my exams. You looked at me while I dug myself into the book. I couldn't solve a problem. You said, "That's supposed to be sixteen to the power nine and then it will come three point six eight multiplied by ten inverse four". You taught me maths. You taught me english. You taught me about the world. And you taught me how to love.
You were gone back then. I waited for days. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. When you came back, I thought I had the whole world in between my arms. I didn't know what it was. After you came back again, you'd listen to me so quietly. You would listen like my voice was the voice of the world. Hours would pass by. Just talking to you felt like the best hours of my life.
And then when you left again, I was too busy to notice that. The vacancy in my heart got filled by the world that kept me busy, distracted from a solitary feeling I felt every night and every day. But, rain would make me feel you again.
You were beautiful.
You were my ray of sunshine.
Each time I admired you, it was only in my heart. I never said it out loud. I wish I did like you told me how you love the way I ramble and the way I laugh, how I'm a crazy weirdo and a bit perverted too.
You came back again. I came back too. But I wanted you more. I made you feel weak. I made you feel different. A different you never asked for. A different you never wailed for.
So I left. And when I came back, you were someone else.
You left me so many times but I still stayed here waiting. Why's it different for me?
I prepare my heart for the worst of all the things- rejection. I tell you things I never told before. You tell me things you never told me before.
So, she made you feel like the craziest things ever and left you void cause she found a better one? I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get better soon.
I hated her. Was she worth the biggest flower bouquet to the love you spent?
You color me blue.
She was mesmerizing but I was tenacious to that love. I didn't know what it was but I knew how to do so.
I never thought ever again that leaving you would hurt you or me. But it did. The way you cried under the rain while I left bled me to death. My walk left you wounded. I know I heard you say, "I love you" but I couldn't say it back.
Saying it back only tangles you up with emotions that you can not ever drag away.
Love is strange. A shot worth your life. It's the way you laugh to the way you sneeze. The way you talk in your sleep to the way you breathe. The way you cry to the way you hold me. Everything that makes you, you. Love is you. It started with you but it never ended with me.
If I met you again, I would've asked, "Did you really love me, Rain?" I know you'd say, "I love you but it can never match to your amount".
I hate rain but I love you. I love sunshine but it's blue. It's blue because of you.
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