"Why the hell is this so hard?" I mutter to myself.420Please respect copyright.PENANAsOyVOxbcsF
420Please respect copyright.PENANAsxueVLLVSk
420Please respect copyright.PENANAPIIsD7FWXc
Remember how I missed two of Evetta's birthdays? Well, I've decided to buy her two presents — one for each birthday that I missed.420Please respect copyright.PENANAN0lFwxv9Ih
420Please respect copyright.PENANA81Tw6aD8pp
420Please respect copyright.PENANADqSapCuhN7
I already got a violin bow for her. It isn't some grand, expensive, £2000 bow from 1752, but it's from me; I'm pretty sure that she's the sentimental type.420Please respect copyright.PENANAk86MQSBGbW
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3NqHz0ldml
420Please respect copyright.PENANAgQftr6JuMJ
Now, I'm looking for a black doll, and none of them seem perfect. Every single one that I've seen — which is actually only a total of two dolls — have processed hair. For some reason, I feel like she would want a doll with natural hair.420Please respect copyright.PENANAtyAupUOFT5
420Please respect copyright.PENANAFruJ399mMt
420Please respect copyright.PENANAJZMf3lwJO2
I'm about to give up and just get her a bracelet or something, when I see it through the window of a store. It's called "little Jamaica", and a black rag doll with what looks like twists on her head is smiling through the window.420Please respect copyright.PENANAlQwq9ThsEd
420Please respect copyright.PENANAqjVZoXQ78f
420Please respect copyright.PENANADnT99X5j6J
I walk into the store, which smells like lavender, and am immediately greeting by a middle aged woman with locks. Her face looks halfway between black and Chinese; full lips, dark skin, sharp cheekbones, tiny nose and slanted eyes.420Please respect copyright.PENANAXkbhP3KTj0
420Please respect copyright.PENANAYwKS6eOvCd
420Please respect copyright.PENANAKHUI463C5M
"Good afternoon sir," she says in a warm voice, but with an accent that sounds identical to Evetta's.420Please respect copyright.PENANAgflAQDCWCF
420Please respect copyright.PENANA85jTONqJkn
420Please respect copyright.PENANAQAnXB1LgUU
"How may I help you today?"420Please respect copyright.PENANArfGhx4kR4P
420Please respect copyright.PENANA6dkRBls31B
420Please respect copyright.PENANA84mh5bKW8H
I look at the window, and see the doll.420Please respect copyright.PENANAl0LnBwz4VU
420Please respect copyright.PENANAFqCkMW096J
420Please respect copyright.PENANAt5n6zpBNIf
"I want that doll; the one by the window. Upon inspection, I realise that it has "Jamaica" written across the front. She looks like she's crying, and she's facing me. 420Please respect copyright.PENANAZiodjjk2Kx
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3VlZdYC9Jf
420Please respect copyright.PENANAgHvjEm3FLT
I think I might be losing my mind. Maybe it's more than just amnesia. What if there's temporary brain damage? What if I'm going to completely lose my mind, and have to live the rest of my life in an asylum?420Please respect copyright.PENANAxtCkQHsOUL
420Please respect copyright.PENANAY7bxBsVLMM
420Please respect copyright.PENANAaHrypUPQWd
Before I have a full blown panic attack, the woman speaks again.420Please respect copyright.PENANA3ma8acny5o
420Please respect copyright.PENANA1OLRyif3Q0
420Please respect copyright.PENANAIAbw1CIfGk
"The doll has too faces; one side is smiling, and the other is crying," she says, seeing my confused expression, and following my gaze to the doll.420Please respect copyright.PENANA9bNMs7XF6P
420Please respect copyright.PENANAW92XvShZuZ
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3qSlA7MCK4
I walk over to it, pick it up, and flip it. Sure enough, it has a face stitched on the other side — the smiling face that I originally saw.420Please respect copyright.PENANApbFShooxwO
420Please respect copyright.PENANAu2d1xPWBNt
420Please respect copyright.PENANAy9VkCtIIuG
Thank god. I'm not mad. Yet.420Please respect copyright.PENANAVmdSDYoZUj
420Please respect copyright.PENANAthZXBAgfgJ
420Please respect copyright.PENANA27OZhy5nOE
This is so... special. I love it, and I know that Evetta will love it, too. 420Please respect copyright.PENANAsgTZ9wnNud
420Please respect copyright.PENANAhZyT7RmqBB
420Please respect copyright.PENANA57GNMa4hRh
I pay for it and walk out, feeling rather proud of myself.420Please respect copyright.PENANA9jy5fPiaSc
420Please respect copyright.PENANAz7NiAXdyW1
420Please respect copyright.PENANA9wXrTtozdS
Yes, she's gonna be so pleased.420Please respect copyright.PENANAH9Crcdp68s
420Please respect copyright.PENANAYZv70APANt
420Please respect copyright.PENANAbodWagXzys
Of course, my day can't possibly be that easy.420Please respect copyright.PENANAtvL5enHwaq
420Please respect copyright.PENANAyBaemMdnKX
420Please respect copyright.PENANAc8JHSQo8TP
As I'm walking on the sidewalk, one of the pink ear rings from the doll fall off and break on the pavement.420Please respect copyright.PENANAOdbQFbxBVn
420Please respect copyright.PENANAwAcTyhe8bD
420Please respect copyright.PENANAFuFG1BGgDI
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.420Please respect copyright.PENANAlzvENpjKC1
420Please respect copyright.PENANAjvTrXRArnl
420Please respect copyright.PENANAmopnosAhXZ
What the hell am I going to do now? I can't give it to her like this.420Please respect copyright.PENANAiSlDnW8emo
420Please respect copyright.PENANAROwNywXtTj
420Please respect copyright.PENANAyIQnUW2fk8
Think Caleb. What else can be used as ear rings?420Please respect copyright.PENANAAjOU9ec01m
420Please respect copyright.PENANA8zrP9D498B
420Please respect copyright.PENANAwQeEtOl5n1
Paper clips?420Please respect copyright.PENANAyuoYf8mbqC
420Please respect copyright.PENANAgI8sGt3Gtt
420Please respect copyright.PENANAXBcWKWl4O2
No.420Please respect copyright.PENANAs3OaZjIwCo
420Please respect copyright.PENANAHkCEg4mtQz
420Please respect copyright.PENANARV2ybNy6Wc
Hairpins?420Please respect copyright.PENANAdfcPvVH0r0
420Please respect copyright.PENANAlu0Tj0ept3
420Please respect copyright.PENANAvvTXvxwlno
Am I stupid?420Please respect copyright.PENANA0yfrxouo9f
420Please respect copyright.PENANAbGc7I0ApvN
420Please respect copyright.PENANAVVF1cYkVI2
Nose rings?420Please respect copyright.PENANAOJRtvaI726
420Please respect copyright.PENANA6poPkXk5Jo
420Please respect copyright.PENANAHhI3pbj3mX
Wait. That's not a bad idea.420Please respect copyright.PENANA8klZsVDt4W
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3XeppE9leo
420Please respect copyright.PENANAMtLHilxcEK
At least this isn't that hard to find. 420Please respect copyright.PENANAL7vbs9wQX1
420Please respect copyright.PENANAcMrC85cLa5
420Please respect copyright.PENANAoxoq6uxFuw
After a few minutes of walking, I find myself in a shop that is stocked full with all kinds of body jewellery, and I pick up a pack of nose rings. Now that I see them, they look far thinner and flimsier than I'd imagined.420Please respect copyright.PENANACUWgHO7w56
420Please respect copyright.PENANACeBfckBiKd
420Please respect copyright.PENANAYFncyAcTmG
God, I really hope this works, I think to myself looking skeptically at the tiny golden hoops.420Please respect copyright.PENANAsVRCCHVazk
420Please respect copyright.PENANAcYj83f6f1J
420Please respect copyright.PENANAm3S4tNCiXx
420Please respect copyright.PENANAfdcLg3sADR
420Please respect copyright.PENANAtL20AeObkq
***420Please respect copyright.PENANAwVi8VfHTog
420Please respect copyright.PENANAl5XLbpJvKG
420Please respect copyright.PENANAieBElADE5Q
420Please respect copyright.PENANALziFuwlfHz
420Please respect copyright.PENANAfkwHC507nr
The nose rings actually worked, much to my surprise. You'd never be able to tell that anything ever went wrong with the doll on the first place.420Please respect copyright.PENANAUrzCQ1WafX
420Please respect copyright.PENANAVSC86MDuV0
420Please respect copyright.PENANA7yqBWjp6wk
I'm finished walking the streets for today, so I've decided to take the tube back to the area in which I live. Throughout the entire train ride, I can't keep still. My knee is bouncing like a tennis ball, and I realise that it's more than me wanting to give her a doll and a violin bow; I want to see her again; hearing her voice through a phone isn't enough. Still, I call her as soon as I get out of the station.420Please respect copyright.PENANAAKtLNU1AXe
420Please respect copyright.PENANAvk4pHssuhM
420Please respect copyright.PENANAkAyQnIojt4
"Hello?"420Please respect copyright.PENANAgd3hfED42C
420Please respect copyright.PENANAoeodEnE98Z
420Please respect copyright.PENANA6iXkq9otom
God, her voice is beautiful. It makes me feel warm, from the inside out, even though it's freezing outside — snow has just begun to fall, and now I deeply regret not bringing a winter coat — and the cold air biting against my skin seems inconsequential.420Please respect copyright.PENANA7OZPD5exiU
420Please respect copyright.PENANA60mFmAT4AG
420Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9O8yohaOG
"Can you come over?" I ask. 420Please respect copyright.PENANALtUP2t3N7Y
420Please respect copyright.PENANAJnvm9bXUL1
420Please respect copyright.PENANAKy9FWmxjfN
But a better idea comes to me.420Please respect copyright.PENANAo9qF9aCheX
420Please respect copyright.PENANAzTxBoRwDQ3
420Please respect copyright.PENANAw23jfyOJDx
"Are you at home?"420Please respect copyright.PENANA5hL2HEyIc5
420Please respect copyright.PENANA1mh181XKzd
420Please respect copyright.PENANAohTRyIXTSa
"Yeah."420Please respect copyright.PENANAdWbbfTlFQU
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3k0Ke2XmN8
420Please respect copyright.PENANAYdcTFgcQgb
"Um, can I come over? I mean, you'd have to give me your address, and I'd try—"420Please respect copyright.PENANAr8qtGvRqpn
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3dhhcJRXR8
420Please respect copyright.PENANAuyz1WwjxQz
"Caleb, it's very cold — you sound cold, as if you've forgotten you coat — and I don't want you to get lost, and die of hypothermia. I'll come over. I'll bring you over to my house one day — show you the path."420Please respect copyright.PENANAwmzI8hiQDf
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3jhy2uMJNs
420Please respect copyright.PENANAXlQ80HJVHO
"Fine. But please stay."420Please respect copyright.PENANAogRFqRaksq
420Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5rrgdpSkZ
420Please respect copyright.PENANAdvmsH1O5An
"Okay, but I have to leave early tomorrow. I have work."420Please respect copyright.PENANAmnG1WCcqym
420Please respect copyright.PENANARjI2ROA5dB
420Please respect copyright.PENANAUXcSbqnD1U
"That's fine," I say as I walk through the front door of my house. 420Please respect copyright.PENANAEWhpe09ovR
420Please respect copyright.PENANAHFCTq15j1u
420Please respect copyright.PENANANAcCJabTmV
The call ends and I make it to my room, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. 420Please respect copyright.PENANAxsTrqDSBTa
420Please respect copyright.PENANAk1XztQaCO9
420Please respect copyright.PENANAyPXk3irH9m
However, I fix an image of her face in my head. I tell myself to stay awake for her. And I do.420Please respect copyright.PENANAyX1YFTx0NV
420Please respect copyright.PENANAQpwVsNkwyU
420Please respect copyright.PENANA9W7N9nlYfj
"Caleb," I hear from the bedroom door, and instantly perk up, exhaustion forgotten. She's shrugging off her winter coat by the threshold of the door.420Please respect copyright.PENANAyZRR8VohEG
420Please respect copyright.PENANAueNQuBHtTI
420Please respect copyright.PENANAcOedAcxHY4
"Evetta. Thanks for coming."420Please respect copyright.PENANAbnkUmKTmJO
420Please respect copyright.PENANA7ro0ux0kiB
420Please respect copyright.PENANAcygY2dfUR2
"Of course, baby," she says, and when I hear the word "baby", I get that warm feeling all over again.420Please respect copyright.PENANA1XyZuuB8aQ
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZbBHRgaoW
420Please respect copyright.PENANAXGWmdCOGHF
"Um, I got you some stuff."420Please respect copyright.PENANAN6yx0fujGh
420Please respect copyright.PENANAKjL1A3xkqt
420Please respect copyright.PENANApPhciKZVfq
"Yeah?" she inquires as she walks over to the bed and sits beside me.420Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6aVy2pCBd
420Please respect copyright.PENANAUXaj1hEO5V
420Please respect copyright.PENANAhp0ejk74Sr
"I realised that while I was out, I missed two of your birthdays."420Please respect copyright.PENANAqulZsRpiUs
420Please respect copyright.PENANAoRmZGmbO10
420Please respect copyright.PENANA43dgvxv2lA
"Oh, god, Caleb," she says to me, catching on, and her voice sounds so... touched.420Please respect copyright.PENANA4HAZhZLHPv
420Please respect copyright.PENANAWnmobxH2K0
420Please respect copyright.PENANAcMuznqRtDA
"So I got you some stuff."420Please respect copyright.PENANALobnYGts3f
420Please respect copyright.PENANAfkyCJu7Kjc
420Please respect copyright.PENANAGaxO5kP6ck
Her eyes actually have tears in them. Good god, I never expected her to actually cry.420Please respect copyright.PENANAlVcGDMAVQJ
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3VWyCxHJXB
420Please respect copyright.PENANAceQkVhVMZa
Before I can even decide which one I want to show her first — the bow or the doll — she throws her self on me and gives me a bear hug.420Please respect copyright.PENANAN6ypM0yhD8
420Please respect copyright.PENANAweJUiV9dyt
420Please respect copyright.PENANAmsfgVoDK3o
"I love you. Thank you so much. You're the best."420Please respect copyright.PENANArOxG3MaFwv
420Please respect copyright.PENANAhPwCdlCFV8
420Please respect copyright.PENANAZVsc8EiF0Z
"I love you too."420Please respect copyright.PENANAd0dB0LEy7u
420Please respect copyright.PENANARvG28VDWtE
420Please respect copyright.PENANAkEfNF1kOxn
We stay like that for a while, just holding each other, and when we finally untangle ourselves from each other, her eyes are red.420Please respect copyright.PENANAPwY8J2yRPs
420Please respect copyright.PENANAFu5rqYzG9Y
420Please respect copyright.PENANATe29hxHVCs
"I got you a violin bow," I say as I present it to her.420Please respect copyright.PENANAjzqStjmFbj
420Please respect copyright.PENANAYGnzyRGZqa
420Please respect copyright.PENANAMNfSRCHC3D
Her eyes widen and fill with tears again as she removes it from its casing and inspects it.420Please respect copyright.PENANAsDFFO3cLVB
420Please respect copyright.PENANAXHzgFasrfu
420Please respect copyright.PENANACZFpN2GCBq
"I mean, it's not great, but it works—"420Please respect copyright.PENANAkU95cDGvhD
420Please respect copyright.PENANArPQTgAyuiQ
420Please respect copyright.PENANAYve2QA2v2T
"And it's from you," she says. "That means so much to me."420Please respect copyright.PENANAShvKXQ5msm
420Please respect copyright.PENANAOCa55YAAin
420Please respect copyright.PENANA72YjW9FI7Y
I was right. She's sentimental.420Please respect copyright.PENANA8T92EGaHKv
420Please respect copyright.PENANAehyY1xkbLR
420Please respect copyright.PENANAUUuYGUXi9T
"I also got you a doll. A black rag doll."420Please respect copyright.PENANADNFYQIZS6i
420Please respect copyright.PENANA2g1Zxey8Nn
420Please respect copyright.PENANAdFlq3aU9Qg
As soon as those words leave my mouth, her eyes become filled with what can only be described as utter vulnerability.420Please respect copyright.PENANALRh19kMW2y
420Please respect copyright.PENANAvDOM1EthnQ
420Please respect copyright.PENANABxlDV4UKP6
"Really?" she asks, her voice getting high pitched.420Please respect copyright.PENANA9eSgpLlTfR
420Please respect copyright.PENANApFNLI4vE1m
420Please respect copyright.PENANAPrl7n9MH9p
Damn. I really didn't foresee her being this emotional.420Please respect copyright.PENANAjw4W0kkqpm
420Please respect copyright.PENANA6WpJ3qZAvG
420Please respect copyright.PENANAtETD8roxk0
"Yes. I found it in a Jamaican store," I say as I pick it up and hand it to her.420Please respect copyright.PENANAA6jQ4FVtCZ
420Please respect copyright.PENANAthmXFuRfDS
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3xB7mly4eG
"Oh, fuck. This is... Caleb, I don't even know what to say," she whispers, turning the doll over, her eyes widening in surprise as she sees the other face.420Please respect copyright.PENANAsq2jAti9RP
420Please respect copyright.PENANAQQkcsTvMa9
420Please respect copyright.PENANAsr3lhQv1Ek
She hugs me, and kisses my cheek, before retracting and rubbing her eyes, smiling at me.420Please respect copyright.PENANAuRYMvqQIbp
420Please respect copyright.PENANAlqYaI7VhHr
420Please respect copyright.PENANAgxp5u9lOxF
"Incidentally, I brought something over here for you, too."420Please respect copyright.PENANAZtguMgL3p5
420Please respect copyright.PENANAKZU2Yy3A8a
420Please respect copyright.PENANAw3sM0NtN3Y
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.420Please respect copyright.PENANAXKSnsZo2L4
420Please respect copyright.PENANAFip1qvFwW0
420Please respect copyright.PENANApqLdaRciST
She takes out a tiny black doll which is attached to a card that says "Watchover Voodoo" at the top, and has some writing on the bottom.420Please respect copyright.PENANAMgxnO33qTa
420Please respect copyright.PENANAphbcdOY3NC
420Please respect copyright.PENANAg7u6hjFifG
It's supposed to guide you," she says. "Now, I don't believe that some tiny doll on a piece of cardboard has magical powers, but I do believe that if you read an inspirational quote every day, you'll probably try to follow it."420Please respect copyright.PENANANnEd8TMzc1
420Please respect copyright.PENANAmCVU2wrDlM
420Please respect copyright.PENANAt0vbwK35HX
I read the bottom, and it says:420Please respect copyright.PENANAK9KZstJesH
420Please respect copyright.PENANA2N3ZKkbjF9
420Please respect copyright.PENANAXtOvWx9wWE
Reggae Kid420Please respect copyright.PENANAYEQXQ33aqG
Keeps you in rhythm with nature and at peace with those around you.420Please respect copyright.PENANAA6rpQTbHMW
420Please respect copyright.PENANAM7mOFrOcwA
420Please respect copyright.PENANAHI4nQFbf5p
"You lost your rhythm and piece of mind with that accident, and by extension, the piece that you had with those around you. I can feel the unease within you every time I hear your voice, every time I see you, every time I'm near you."420Please respect copyright.PENANAL4pt1mrtyb
420Please respect copyright.PENANAydJ0uvXGOU
420Please respect copyright.PENANAzuhSPnaCAY
I think about it; I never realised that she knew just how much all of this is affecting me.420Please respect copyright.PENANAIPjQV182rT
420Please respect copyright.PENANACHVoI27kW4
420Please respect copyright.PENANAy90moqDRJa
"You need to find your peace and rhythm again."420Please respect copyright.PENANA0V7Hg1doVu
420Please respect copyright.PENANAnVKktqOsTx
420Please respect copyright.PENANA3jMwmhb45G
"Thank you, Evetta," I say, taking the doll from her.420Please respect copyright.PENANAL9C19L9iUF
420Please respect copyright.PENANAYIIyPjzx7j
420Please respect copyright.PENANAlToyvtqXu8
Thank you for noticing.420Please respect copyright.PENANAvOS1jPt9xn
420Please respect copyright.PENANARKRNjhp3rA
420Please respect copyright.PENANAIVFn4t4B2d
Thank you for caring.420Please respect copyright.PENANAyHG1M2OL7C
420Please respect copyright.PENANAbysZjJUO4W
420Please respect copyright.PENANAWIpkyfvLMQ
Thank you for loving me.420Please respect copyright.PENANAbM0PT2DgAl
420Please respect copyright.PENANAn96sWiG06A
420Please respect copyright.PENANAgGzyACU4Pw
And I do something that neither of us saw coming.420Please respect copyright.PENANArBLmVeSeAR
420Please respect copyright.PENANAbdGJl9xaLp
420Please respect copyright.PENANAFsNUIfe28Y
I kiss her.
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