"Why the hell is this so hard?" I mutter to myself.609Please respect copyright.PENANA9UJPfYVOwB
609Please respect copyright.PENANAY5SF0eRLnl
609Please respect copyright.PENANANFc9eis37j
Remember how I missed two of Evetta's birthdays? Well, I've decided to buy her two presents — one for each birthday that I missed.609Please respect copyright.PENANAYR3wc0bCQU
609Please respect copyright.PENANAJJG4WFeBPx
609Please respect copyright.PENANA3M9agvvb1g
I already got a violin bow for her. It isn't some grand, expensive, £2000 bow from 1752, but it's from me; I'm pretty sure that she's the sentimental type.609Please respect copyright.PENANAXffSuOXlWt
609Please respect copyright.PENANAoh2EQPgDmC
609Please respect copyright.PENANAOAEJlv4NUA
Now, I'm looking for a black doll, and none of them seem perfect. Every single one that I've seen — which is actually only a total of two dolls — have processed hair. For some reason, I feel like she would want a doll with natural hair.609Please respect copyright.PENANAgNmZYqM4mj
609Please respect copyright.PENANAISBaa55CJb
609Please respect copyright.PENANAGbYjsvf3v2
I'm about to give up and just get her a bracelet or something, when I see it through the window of a store. It's called "little Jamaica", and a black rag doll with what looks like twists on her head is smiling through the window.609Please respect copyright.PENANA9FP12gi80l
609Please respect copyright.PENANAd8KF8V8Ijm
609Please respect copyright.PENANA7C18cT13nt
I walk into the store, which smells like lavender, and am immediately greeting by a middle aged woman with locks. Her face looks halfway between black and Chinese; full lips, dark skin, sharp cheekbones, tiny nose and slanted eyes.609Please respect copyright.PENANAoFuuzkJsNW
609Please respect copyright.PENANA3GKC9HwE8P
609Please respect copyright.PENANAB6dZyr3azw
"Good afternoon sir," she says in a warm voice, but with an accent that sounds identical to Evetta's.609Please respect copyright.PENANACzU5WQsOn0
609Please respect copyright.PENANA75t3dAFXsu
609Please respect copyright.PENANA07zkWzGI2T
"How may I help you today?"609Please respect copyright.PENANACu7IT2hFI4
609Please respect copyright.PENANAvStoEGreQM
609Please respect copyright.PENANAtMjVJemDvP
I look at the window, and see the doll.609Please respect copyright.PENANAlL49I6MoTW
609Please respect copyright.PENANAnGQEa6mjzz
609Please respect copyright.PENANA7OvYp5fdkY
"I want that doll; the one by the window. Upon inspection, I realise that it has "Jamaica" written across the front. She looks like she's crying, and she's facing me. 609Please respect copyright.PENANAFmIihctx9Q
609Please respect copyright.PENANAq9DfjXE4LA
609Please respect copyright.PENANAMCNz5ny7RS
I think I might be losing my mind. Maybe it's more than just amnesia. What if there's temporary brain damage? What if I'm going to completely lose my mind, and have to live the rest of my life in an asylum?609Please respect copyright.PENANAplDIvkoEzv
609Please respect copyright.PENANATQc83FUzBp
609Please respect copyright.PENANAjmk1nPazKJ
Before I have a full blown panic attack, the woman speaks again.609Please respect copyright.PENANAjG2QFdHyan
609Please respect copyright.PENANAaP5s4njfKf
609Please respect copyright.PENANApHkVMXgiY7
"The doll has too faces; one side is smiling, and the other is crying," she says, seeing my confused expression, and following my gaze to the doll.609Please respect copyright.PENANAuXMLcwWriT
609Please respect copyright.PENANAkww7ENB3gp
609Please respect copyright.PENANAklCUl1WEo4
I walk over to it, pick it up, and flip it. Sure enough, it has a face stitched on the other side — the smiling face that I originally saw.609Please respect copyright.PENANARgQLSiMC6Q
609Please respect copyright.PENANAEgXl6RbmOT
609Please respect copyright.PENANAri2zbGgdyx
Thank god. I'm not mad. Yet.609Please respect copyright.PENANA1W37A5YCqd
609Please respect copyright.PENANAcMi40ssSk8
609Please respect copyright.PENANANKWebOVcJ2
This is so... special. I love it, and I know that Evetta will love it, too. 609Please respect copyright.PENANAVZ1k9SZbiJ
609Please respect copyright.PENANAwN4j62YMja
609Please respect copyright.PENANAiXrwvfWGrU
I pay for it and walk out, feeling rather proud of myself.609Please respect copyright.PENANAoxzByXQKMH
609Please respect copyright.PENANAe9mut3vqFs
609Please respect copyright.PENANAZqo5LhlrN9
Yes, she's gonna be so pleased.609Please respect copyright.PENANADyc0xM4yff
609Please respect copyright.PENANAafxkQNHtR2
609Please respect copyright.PENANA0PDJLq1eaQ
Of course, my day can't possibly be that easy.609Please respect copyright.PENANAZBWNjZD0Wi
609Please respect copyright.PENANAkutSgo3ZOT
609Please respect copyright.PENANAhtQp7Nt7MC
As I'm walking on the sidewalk, one of the pink ear rings from the doll fall off and break on the pavement.609Please respect copyright.PENANAinGiPQ19JH
609Please respect copyright.PENANAykRcDeBsis
609Please respect copyright.PENANAfuWBiolfvd
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.609Please respect copyright.PENANAkAlZs05naM
609Please respect copyright.PENANAZkHBCXTsJ8
609Please respect copyright.PENANAGr6IcYMXut
What the hell am I going to do now? I can't give it to her like this.609Please respect copyright.PENANAV0mHAQ5qrF
609Please respect copyright.PENANAIXTLTkweef
609Please respect copyright.PENANAmoGWlGRxEw
Think Caleb. What else can be used as ear rings?609Please respect copyright.PENANAwzCFgS7SIs
609Please respect copyright.PENANAJvzmdbkPU3
609Please respect copyright.PENANAOJq4O33xDL
Paper clips?609Please respect copyright.PENANAzIYNYRCSR1
609Please respect copyright.PENANAfFXYkzqHST
609Please respect copyright.PENANASLKEJNqOyT
No.609Please respect copyright.PENANAhNwmgVuz6l
609Please respect copyright.PENANAw3KrLJeDO2
609Please respect copyright.PENANANBMe7V6nCP
Hairpins?609Please respect copyright.PENANAYK59eYWaH7
609Please respect copyright.PENANAsK5n5u2Ttn
609Please respect copyright.PENANAn3E7qrONlN
Am I stupid?609Please respect copyright.PENANAWbizv3reIr
609Please respect copyright.PENANAx4F4nBANLd
609Please respect copyright.PENANA8yxTckO5MW
Nose rings?609Please respect copyright.PENANAnylrOaxgfY
609Please respect copyright.PENANAMhRoXEal89
609Please respect copyright.PENANA4SP7V8rfGI
Wait. That's not a bad idea.609Please respect copyright.PENANABx0TEJzMOg
609Please respect copyright.PENANA7neuj4jwWZ
609Please respect copyright.PENANAOXCy64l1PQ
At least this isn't that hard to find. 609Please respect copyright.PENANA8Qe6s1XMna
609Please respect copyright.PENANATZy8rD1OQk
609Please respect copyright.PENANAdfVKNijpzQ
After a few minutes of walking, I find myself in a shop that is stocked full with all kinds of body jewellery, and I pick up a pack of nose rings. Now that I see them, they look far thinner and flimsier than I'd imagined.609Please respect copyright.PENANAhxLPZKCOZZ
609Please respect copyright.PENANAegMsEdNRO2
609Please respect copyright.PENANAFq9VzdV6hD
God, I really hope this works, I think to myself looking skeptically at the tiny golden hoops.609Please respect copyright.PENANAebYJPMp6xH
609Please respect copyright.PENANAmJMUVC4R9e
609Please respect copyright.PENANANcKFD5OtL0
609Please respect copyright.PENANAzReowcPkcS
609Please respect copyright.PENANATdUsEGDPtE
***609Please respect copyright.PENANA8rMBVuwk8d
609Please respect copyright.PENANAbKfWvSHP5r
609Please respect copyright.PENANABom9t0Vblj
609Please respect copyright.PENANAVLcLeyRd0w
609Please respect copyright.PENANAMFPiu9768N
The nose rings actually worked, much to my surprise. You'd never be able to tell that anything ever went wrong with the doll on the first place.609Please respect copyright.PENANADZ23bKBg8e
609Please respect copyright.PENANAT8Qrf7sW77
609Please respect copyright.PENANAQUbI0S10Rs
I'm finished walking the streets for today, so I've decided to take the tube back to the area in which I live. Throughout the entire train ride, I can't keep still. My knee is bouncing like a tennis ball, and I realise that it's more than me wanting to give her a doll and a violin bow; I want to see her again; hearing her voice through a phone isn't enough. Still, I call her as soon as I get out of the station.609Please respect copyright.PENANAyKcJ9GlY0R
609Please respect copyright.PENANArQsYZw9ABG
609Please respect copyright.PENANAWclDAHs0AO
"Hello?"609Please respect copyright.PENANA8SjwsxjXlI
609Please respect copyright.PENANA2gCg2ZnhNx
609Please respect copyright.PENANAl2ltGz6VdD
God, her voice is beautiful. It makes me feel warm, from the inside out, even though it's freezing outside — snow has just begun to fall, and now I deeply regret not bringing a winter coat — and the cold air biting against my skin seems inconsequential.609Please respect copyright.PENANAjqi0HQgBtx
609Please respect copyright.PENANAz1fI7KGBZc
609Please respect copyright.PENANAjUgnfOFP69
"Can you come over?" I ask. 609Please respect copyright.PENANAsFGwkty65e
609Please respect copyright.PENANAusZETCstcN
609Please respect copyright.PENANAMuQoFslzBU
But a better idea comes to me.609Please respect copyright.PENANAyqAa978Oen
609Please respect copyright.PENANAC7P7xAZphA
609Please respect copyright.PENANA7SMscknA0b
"Are you at home?"609Please respect copyright.PENANAOLNgmckIdr
609Please respect copyright.PENANArPNZC7C6v5
609Please respect copyright.PENANA7Z0FrA5xlW
"Yeah."609Please respect copyright.PENANAzG3rVf2wE0
609Please respect copyright.PENANA32bKTdqoFp
609Please respect copyright.PENANAW0ZLMAlizQ
"Um, can I come over? I mean, you'd have to give me your address, and I'd try—"609Please respect copyright.PENANAxF2cg100Bb
609Please respect copyright.PENANAPy4YTN2IsF
609Please respect copyright.PENANA9YgfLIfrFA
"Caleb, it's very cold — you sound cold, as if you've forgotten you coat — and I don't want you to get lost, and die of hypothermia. I'll come over. I'll bring you over to my house one day — show you the path."609Please respect copyright.PENANAit621LL7N8
609Please respect copyright.PENANAi3P7buy5Zz
609Please respect copyright.PENANApN2HvDDo8v
"Fine. But please stay."609Please respect copyright.PENANAo13KEwqMJz
609Please respect copyright.PENANAHDiZfcJk4o
609Please respect copyright.PENANAgHEpb7UBXQ
"Okay, but I have to leave early tomorrow. I have work."609Please respect copyright.PENANAdLho5XgOy6
609Please respect copyright.PENANA57IiI6c8a5
609Please respect copyright.PENANA0F0NWMShDY
"That's fine," I say as I walk through the front door of my house. 609Please respect copyright.PENANA5XaRDOMAKG
609Please respect copyright.PENANAPjc8f2Opmv
609Please respect copyright.PENANA3ybzjk22Ew
The call ends and I make it to my room, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. 609Please respect copyright.PENANANEDkDPN0HE
609Please respect copyright.PENANAETe4qdT6OM
609Please respect copyright.PENANAqQQUNDqokr
However, I fix an image of her face in my head. I tell myself to stay awake for her. And I do.609Please respect copyright.PENANAH0PtQJQ6bA
609Please respect copyright.PENANAq0Qk5dTHXD
609Please respect copyright.PENANAu3mQ6UrPwL
"Caleb," I hear from the bedroom door, and instantly perk up, exhaustion forgotten. She's shrugging off her winter coat by the threshold of the door.609Please respect copyright.PENANAxyESIRb5nU
609Please respect copyright.PENANASYiVggSgqS
609Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7f71BALUK
"Evetta. Thanks for coming."609Please respect copyright.PENANAFmVvVZLfXu
609Please respect copyright.PENANAUXPwKSmFaX
609Please respect copyright.PENANAQbxgY116EM
"Of course, baby," she says, and when I hear the word "baby", I get that warm feeling all over again.609Please respect copyright.PENANAo3zvGRfOCH
609Please respect copyright.PENANAwGVjFJebKY
609Please respect copyright.PENANAzVsWqyMfY7
"Um, I got you some stuff."609Please respect copyright.PENANAZumtRXpQF5
609Please respect copyright.PENANARkfmFn0PBr
609Please respect copyright.PENANANNrQyyCUrY
"Yeah?" she inquires as she walks over to the bed and sits beside me.609Please respect copyright.PENANAKEr8R3DxnS
609Please respect copyright.PENANAlGXbVoU28h
609Please respect copyright.PENANAWzwXvCPh8A
"I realised that while I was out, I missed two of your birthdays."609Please respect copyright.PENANApombZvwy5n
609Please respect copyright.PENANAoqZdBnFeFG
609Please respect copyright.PENANALinotS7aCh
"Oh, god, Caleb," she says to me, catching on, and her voice sounds so... touched.609Please respect copyright.PENANATRkK4HXUOw
609Please respect copyright.PENANAN82pthpjFo
609Please respect copyright.PENANAR16y2py6dG
"So I got you some stuff."609Please respect copyright.PENANAeIOF0WETZ1
609Please respect copyright.PENANACBEPLrYAvI
609Please respect copyright.PENANAERKo0i9AGH
Her eyes actually have tears in them. Good god, I never expected her to actually cry.609Please respect copyright.PENANAr5oDjNl1zP
609Please respect copyright.PENANASwoW5PwKF2
609Please respect copyright.PENANAMeJMIta1V3
Before I can even decide which one I want to show her first — the bow or the doll — she throws her self on me and gives me a bear hug.609Please respect copyright.PENANAbqOdhKhF48
609Please respect copyright.PENANAjBNc7QKMsG
609Please respect copyright.PENANAuR2tTw53Tz
"I love you. Thank you so much. You're the best."609Please respect copyright.PENANABNbJt8MW7n
609Please respect copyright.PENANAmMtNvXi2fQ
609Please respect copyright.PENANA51LhBOOVUp
"I love you too."609Please respect copyright.PENANA2igLMv34pU
609Please respect copyright.PENANAO0I7FB9sNl
609Please respect copyright.PENANAlDqecxEeGQ
We stay like that for a while, just holding each other, and when we finally untangle ourselves from each other, her eyes are red.609Please respect copyright.PENANACiGvYZATjX
609Please respect copyright.PENANAEIc1EUXC1g
609Please respect copyright.PENANAKUkowejD8c
"I got you a violin bow," I say as I present it to her.609Please respect copyright.PENANAX9TksPpZms
609Please respect copyright.PENANAHBlDAUMmiN
609Please respect copyright.PENANAszJkyIUYx8
Her eyes widen and fill with tears again as she removes it from its casing and inspects it.609Please respect copyright.PENANAazF4gTIFfI
609Please respect copyright.PENANAS9BMg1IULj
609Please respect copyright.PENANAY2LHyIav6q
"I mean, it's not great, but it works—"609Please respect copyright.PENANAUJg0VjzIzX
609Please respect copyright.PENANAYAVGT77X29
609Please respect copyright.PENANAjGAlECWqEM
"And it's from you," she says. "That means so much to me."609Please respect copyright.PENANAXzLTXWU7KO
609Please respect copyright.PENANAFr77ZRXlHh
609Please respect copyright.PENANAJNerkIzzL2
I was right. She's sentimental.609Please respect copyright.PENANAu2XAtaEtM4
609Please respect copyright.PENANA4TmrNPwqtd
609Please respect copyright.PENANAS7PomzAsuQ
"I also got you a doll. A black rag doll."609Please respect copyright.PENANAj7PuZN2k8N
609Please respect copyright.PENANA8VG44u3v7D
609Please respect copyright.PENANA2z1Vq5jbYv
As soon as those words leave my mouth, her eyes become filled with what can only be described as utter vulnerability.609Please respect copyright.PENANAfqUeA5IWc7
609Please respect copyright.PENANAEE7IzfkQme
609Please respect copyright.PENANAT7CJ8ns4pE
"Really?" she asks, her voice getting high pitched.609Please respect copyright.PENANAgLlykbFDvp
609Please respect copyright.PENANAWdUkL41NnP
609Please respect copyright.PENANA97P7U5nWTo
Damn. I really didn't foresee her being this emotional.609Please respect copyright.PENANAOoNctytGXQ
609Please respect copyright.PENANAXcJfSiil4R
609Please respect copyright.PENANAwViMKVj5GW
"Yes. I found it in a Jamaican store," I say as I pick it up and hand it to her.609Please respect copyright.PENANAdD3PE4HSN2
609Please respect copyright.PENANA6BDAnj1kDM
609Please respect copyright.PENANA6NGBHWqncg
"Oh, fuck. This is... Caleb, I don't even know what to say," she whispers, turning the doll over, her eyes widening in surprise as she sees the other face.609Please respect copyright.PENANAZPUFq922DN
609Please respect copyright.PENANA5fmH2ZkjMv
609Please respect copyright.PENANAAzboh3v0Q6
She hugs me, and kisses my cheek, before retracting and rubbing her eyes, smiling at me.609Please respect copyright.PENANACF3ayOwXfU
609Please respect copyright.PENANA3ViNQFjmWS
609Please respect copyright.PENANAUAxsLWjT17
"Incidentally, I brought something over here for you, too."609Please respect copyright.PENANAjZIbAK1ogS
609Please respect copyright.PENANABGVOFjS9RF
609Please respect copyright.PENANAuZKjAmdi4t
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.609Please respect copyright.PENANA9CvLX52mFV
609Please respect copyright.PENANAciS79OzpNv
609Please respect copyright.PENANAUaD9TDTSiq
She takes out a tiny black doll which is attached to a card that says "Watchover Voodoo" at the top, and has some writing on the bottom.609Please respect copyright.PENANACT3bAPltzE
609Please respect copyright.PENANAJNg2f7L8NK
609Please respect copyright.PENANA6MqniTLFRu
It's supposed to guide you," she says. "Now, I don't believe that some tiny doll on a piece of cardboard has magical powers, but I do believe that if you read an inspirational quote every day, you'll probably try to follow it."609Please respect copyright.PENANAmUtyA1Cpzl
609Please respect copyright.PENANADPin4iRK38
609Please respect copyright.PENANAa7otGjlpCQ
I read the bottom, and it says:609Please respect copyright.PENANANvEpst99qv
609Please respect copyright.PENANAjAgsHhqpr3
609Please respect copyright.PENANAryA6Atg0u9
Reggae Kid609Please respect copyright.PENANA31vdKju8fu
Keeps you in rhythm with nature and at peace with those around you.609Please respect copyright.PENANAlvbZO17Vnk
609Please respect copyright.PENANAF344cjFX2n
609Please respect copyright.PENANAsHQQlYqzDW
"You lost your rhythm and piece of mind with that accident, and by extension, the piece that you had with those around you. I can feel the unease within you every time I hear your voice, every time I see you, every time I'm near you."609Please respect copyright.PENANA2nHM42VNAh
609Please respect copyright.PENANAZ4H5OYcJdo
609Please respect copyright.PENANAtWRmYL0meX
I think about it; I never realised that she knew just how much all of this is affecting me.609Please respect copyright.PENANAB58fFyuvtb
609Please respect copyright.PENANA8faYn0pQXy
609Please respect copyright.PENANAAnMD8ssQ1q
"You need to find your peace and rhythm again."609Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9xJk4TXzv
609Please respect copyright.PENANABkVotAnHGg
609Please respect copyright.PENANAmh5L6ukReA
"Thank you, Evetta," I say, taking the doll from her.609Please respect copyright.PENANAzFmfojQK2m
609Please respect copyright.PENANA0YRsdyebs4
609Please respect copyright.PENANAoKY4ZGMywf
Thank you for noticing.609Please respect copyright.PENANAXycyd9UzdJ
609Please respect copyright.PENANAnLkmtYxipz
609Please respect copyright.PENANAWr2zzePv8M
Thank you for caring.609Please respect copyright.PENANAlJxVs5eAnR
609Please respect copyright.PENANAo9zYEeNtVr
609Please respect copyright.PENANAIbpBsyQM7h
Thank you for loving me.609Please respect copyright.PENANASBkKyNkD7l
609Please respect copyright.PENANAqSjelaLxVj
609Please respect copyright.PENANArMF23VIjG8
And I do something that neither of us saw coming.609Please respect copyright.PENANABq0fqzWj7d
609Please respect copyright.PENANAVOZW2ntfwI
609Please respect copyright.PENANAQUFiucCxkb
I kiss her.
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