"That's fucking hilarious."29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOYBCkX928
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I narrowed my eyes at Kai through the mirror, "Is it?" I said blankly, not finding any of this hilarious, especially not getting roped into therapy.
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"Just a little," Kai said, pinching her fingers together for emphasis.
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I rolled my eyes, turning away from the mirror to walk closer to my bed she was sitting on.
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"I don't know about this one for tonight," I said, tugging slightly at the mini black denim skirt paired with a cheetah baby tee.
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"It's so cute though," Kai said, eyeing my body until her eyes landed on the matching stiletto boots I wore, "Those pull it all together too."
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I pursed my lips, running my hands through my hair that I decided to leave in the same half-up half-down hairstyle from earlier.
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"I guess it works for tonight," I said, walking over to my dresser where my perfumes were.
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Normally, I felt excited during our pre-gaming festivities.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacNKoevxx5
Kai even played our hype playlist as we got ready together and drank, but still, something felt off.
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If this has anything to do with therapy, I'm fucking quitting.
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Ugh, but I'm definitely thinking about our session.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLoF5NJoQI
Why am I thinking about it?
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnsTPrVbah
All we did was discuss very surface-level topics.
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It's just... well, the having control over your life thing keeps popping into my head.
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It doesn't help that I'm tipsy, and not as in control as I would be sober.
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Is drinking an issue?
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgFl6yF4us
Hell no, I thought as I quickly shook my head at the intrusive thought.
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I'm young and living my life to the fullest.
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I glanced over when Kai stood from my bed, adjusting her red bandeau top that she wore with matching flare pants and gold heels.
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"You're overthinking it. The fit is cute, trust me," Kai assured me, lifting her hand to tap my ass.
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I forced a smile, hating that the last thing on my mind right now was my outfit.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk25Ik7KgNO
"My ass does look pretty good," I suddenly said, eyeing myself in the full-body mirror as I sprayed my perfume.
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"Let's hope the gays are out to see it," Kai hummed as I sat my Good Girl perfume down.
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"Yeah, I need a good hookup," I determined, knowing I had really only hooked up with Kai these two weekends.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglomKm6N8m
The crowd is... boring.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHMafcbvoP
However, tonight I'm desperate.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU1hYdE1OK
"We'll find you someone," Kai said as we walked out of my bedroom, "Even if I'm the best you'll ever have," she shot me a cheeky wink.
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I rolled my eyes with a smile, "Besides myself," I joked back.
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No one knows my body like me.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1eexiSzgE
I know exactly where to touch and how I want the pace.
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"Agreed," Kai said as she unlocked her phone and navigated to the Lyft app.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVAbCHNFHg
"How far away is the nearest driver?" I asked, glancing over to her phone as she inputted one of our usual clubs as the address.
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"Only two minutes," Kai told me, booking the ride as soon as it popped up.
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After that, we took one quick last shot of Tito's and headed downstairs to wait for our ride.
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The nightclub called The Den was only a short ten-minute drive, giving Kai and me time to take our selfies and reapply our lip liner and gloss.
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Our first agenda upon making it past the bouncer was shots.
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Then it was women.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiMrWj2oL5
Kai's favorite bartender was working so her problem was solved.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAW04uMEsy
We would get free drinks and Kai would get to go home with her.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfBztF9J7L
Now I just needed someone to take home for myself.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7dFrGqlki
My favorite thing to do is scan the room, analyzing everything and everyone.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC54mOKTGh0
Typically, I never really have to do too much.
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A random woman will lock eyes with me and I'll motion her over.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRUgK1gqTo
Tonight, a raven-haired woman caught my eye.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RiKPy6bZx
She had long straight hair that fell to her mid-back, emphasizing her sharp face and green eyes.
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She wore a short black skirt with a matching halter top, exposing her arms covered in small tattoos.
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She made her way over to me as soon as I motioned my head at her, smiling as she approached me.
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"Let me buy you a shot," I leaned into her ear to say, pressing my hand to her arm as I did so.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTLSJLevji
"I'll cover the next round," she offered, leaning closer to me so I could hear her properly.
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I smirked slightly when she placed her hand against my upper back, "Deal," I said, leaning back slightly to wave over the bartender.
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Who had been occupied by my best friend.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYQdVny2qY
Kai smiled when her dark eyes landed on me, noticing the woman by my side now.
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It was a look of approval—at least until she glanced back over to the bartender, Tara, watching her frame as she walked over to me.
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The music was loud as I tried my best to tell her my order.
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Lemon drop shots were what I settled on for us.
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"I'm River" I leaned into her to say, feeling a little looser as I gripped her closer to me.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCWXVqr8lP
"Octavia," she introduced herself, running her hand down my back.
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I smiled wider, "Let's dance," I said in her ear, grabbing her hand to pull her toward the dance floor before she could respond.
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I was pressed against her in a matter of seconds, grinding against her as she held my waist.
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In a matter of a few songs, our positions flipped, holding her in place as she started grinding against me.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9zXZUHkTb
We only danced for a few songs until we were back at the bar again.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW56nJYIHOh
Octavia covered our next round of shots as she previously offered, ordering us the same lemon drop shots since I had gotten them for us earlier.
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Kai was unsurprisingly by the bar still, taking shots off Tara.
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Instead of dancing some more, I guided us toward Kai, wanting to briefly catch up with my best friend.
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"Tara gets off in five minutes," Kai leaned into me to say, "I don't want to leave you so-"
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkRKRXnw6V
"Bitch you better go," I cut her short, giving her an offended look.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoI2lL6IFds
Because she better not pass on getting laid tonight.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvhc2mhOPa
I'm good where I'm at.
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"I'll be fine, Kai," I said, smiling wider as I zoned back into Octavia's hands that roamed up and down my sides as she silently stood behind me, "Clearly," I told Kai over the music, motioning behind me.
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My best friend's lips tilted into a smirk, "Okay, but I'll be checking your location and texting you later," she told me, earning a few loose nods from me.
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"Have fun," I said, briefly kissing her cheek before I leaned away from her entirely.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbmevYxCW4
"You too," Kai said, her stare shifting to Octavia, who she smiled at before glancing back over to me, "Love you, Rivs."
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"Love you too," I repeated, turning around to face Octavia as Kai walked past us to meet Tara.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJUM88MD4U
We were back to dancing after one more shot, falling into the beat of the music together.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeg4duGBTFl
Until soon we naturally kept our legs intertwined, grinding against each other as we held our short skirts in place.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuhoHvvpcC
I could feel her wetness through her underwear and I knew she could feel mine.
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At some point, it felt like we had mutually agreed to leave.
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A word wasn't said, but as we left the dance floor we unconsciously migrated to the main entry doors.
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Octavia ordered a Lyft for us while I offered my apartment to go back to since her place was five minutes farther.
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The short car ride was filled with lingering touches, meaningless conversation, and impatience.
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For once tonight, everything felt just as it used to.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oiXvmp5Cu
I felt good.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhbYCDdeXp
It was the familiar excitement I recall, building in my stomach as we walked down the familiar hallway to my apartment.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LFGjBJIuT
Octavia pulled me into a kiss as soon as the door closed loudly behind us, guiding us with no direction.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x21MbhuO0
I took the reigns instead, grabbing her waist as I dominated the kiss.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRjOVxxK3F
Octavia grew breathless in response, letting me guide her toward my bedroom.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxP3GnRPqu
I pinned her back against my bed as soon as I got the opportunity, wasting no time as I straddled her body.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SOn7IRkMq
Octavia hummed when I connected our lips again, arching into me as I trailed my hand down past her skirt.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1TfBAKCyE
This.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4dojFHQEX
This is what control feels like.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMk1GCIJulM
Dr. Luccini was wrong—it's not just habits or routines.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUjifU4xw1
You can seek control in other ways, and other places.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGH8wpdaLp
"Right there," I heard Octavia breathe out, arching up into me as I continued sliding in and out of her.
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The kiss between us had been broken—by me or her, I'm unsure.
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I can't even focus on how wet she is, something that's normally enjoyable for me.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukNU9nMkP0
I can only focus on someone who had popped into my thoughts in the worst way.
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"River."
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtHY6Zf8Au
I could hear her voice clearly in my head, striking a deeper nerve.
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It was infuriating and alarming at the same time.
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"Hey, are you okay?" Octavia's voice cut into my thoughts, running her hands up my back as my face remained buried in the crook of her neck.
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I don't know when I leaned down or when she had finished.
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"Yeah, yes," I quickly said, carefully sliding out of her as my face burned up.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAPKuOS4DP
Fuck Dr. Luccino.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc1JSLkFr9
Seriously, I don't need her—I don't even know why I'm thinking about her.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjNczMujfy
I drew in a deep breath as I tried to focus on Octavia's roaming hands, how they slipped between my legs and past my short skirt.
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But suddenly, nothing felt right.
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"I think..." I trailed off, appalled by what I was about to say to her, "I think I'm good," I said, cringing internally at my own words.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7nh0jmXfS
Octavia quickly pulled her hand away, "Are you sure?" she asked me as I leaned away from her neck, "I can make you feel really good," she added, tracing her hand up my back.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO4IfSS7iG
I forced a smile at her words, "I just feel tired," I lied, crawling off her lap and causing her hand to fall from my back in the process.
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"Okay..." Octavia awkwardly trailed off, laying up from the bed as she adjusted her skirt so she could stand up.
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I pursed my lips, feeling guilty for the mixed signals I sent.
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"You can stay the night if you want," I offered out of consideration.
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I would never fuck someone and make them leave afterward.
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Some people do, but I'm not that inhumane.
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"No it's fine," Octavia said, grabbing her phone and purse from the bed.
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My purse was on the bed too, probably getting flung to the side during the process of everything.
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"I can cover your Lyft," I quickly offered, grabbing my purse to get my phone.
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"It's good I got it now," Octavia determined, tapping on her phone a few times as she backed away toward the door, "The nearest one is like a minute away."
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I nodded awkwardly, unsure what I should say next.
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"I'll leave my number if you want?" Octavia asked, furrowing her brows at the dynamic of this.
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I blinked a few times before I inevitably nodded,
"Sure-yeah, here," I said, quickly unlocking my phone and tapping the contact app.
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Octavia stepped closer to me when I extended my phone illuminated with the blank contact.
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"I had fun with you tonight," I whispered, unsure of what else to say.
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I've never had this happen before.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnsNrCMb9w
"I had fun too," Octavia said with a small smile, handing my phone back to me.
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I pursed my lips into a smile, "Be safe getting back," I said as she backed away from me.
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"I'll be good—I have a roommate who knows I'm coming home now," she assured me, earning a nod from me as I stood up to walk her out.
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We exchanged a very brief side hug as I held the door open for her, watching her walk down the hallway toward the elevator.
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I let out a deep sigh as I gently closed the door, processing how quickly this night went wrong.
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I felt stone-cold sober, walking over to the kitchen and making myself a glass of water.
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Then I headed into my bedroom, setting the glass down to get ready for bed.
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For once after a night out, I had the energy to do my full skincare routine, pulling my hair into a ponytail as I started.
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It only took me five minutes to wash my face and apply my serums, and then I slid into bed under my thick covers.
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I laid on my back, staring up through the darkness at the ceiling above me.
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My head felt scrambled with numerous thoughts.
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Octavia, tonight's events, my therapy session just hours ago—
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And Dr. Luccino.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDQaVcsjJR
I felt almost disgusted by my sexual exchange with Octavia, and it wasn't even her fault.
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I just felt... off-putted by it and I don't know why.
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It was a heavy feeling that sat on my chest as I tried my best to drift off to sleep despite my thoughts.
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At some point, I had to turn on white noise to steady myself.
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Luckily, that was just what I needed given I fell asleep not even minutes after that.
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I still managed to toss and turn throughout the night, almost haunted by my thoughts that manifested into dreams.
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The next morning, I woke up to the bright sun filtering in around me—making my eyes scrunch tighter shut as a groan vibrated in my chest.
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I forgot to close my black-out curtains last night.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oOh1OVdoq
Fuck.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHbxCcwLns
A deep sigh fell from my lips as I blinked my heavy eyes open, wiping under them as I adjusted to the bright room.
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I pushed the covers away, rubbing the front of my head as I sat up from my bed.
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For once my room was decently clean given I didn't tear it apart getting ready last night.
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It was odd, but it felt nice that I didn't have a terrible mess to clean up.
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I let out a soft sigh, standing from my bed as I reached for my phone to check any new notifications.
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I was about to head into the kitchen for a cup of coffee—
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Until I halted.
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It was a brief thought, especially as I stared down at my unmade bed.
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I drew in a deep breath, letting it out in irritation as I dropped my phone on my nightstand with a clatter.
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I shook my head, reaching for the sheets to pull them up and tuck them neatly.
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I can't believe I'm actually making my fucking bed right now.
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I reached for the dark comforter, pulling it up before adjusting the furry cheetah print comforter neatly over it.
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I even fluffed my fucking pillows.
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Aside from how much I hated the process of it...
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It also felt weirdly nice?
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I felt productive just as Dr. Luccino mentioned.
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Suddenly, I was thinking about doing brunch today and maybe going grocery shopping.
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I really want to make that viral TikTok pasta with feta cheese and tomatoes.
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I reached for my coffee mug once my Keurig finished pouring the steaming liquid into the cup.
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I poured in my usual cream and a small amount of sugar since I prefer my coffee less sweet.
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I hummed as I took the first sip of my coffee, letting out a soft sigh as I rounded my kitchen island.
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Until I paused, my eyes locked on the familiar business card sitting on the granite counter.
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A smile suddenly twitched up on my lips at the thought that popped into my head.
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I didn't give it another second of contemplation—I set my coffee mug down, grabbing my phone and the business card.
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I inputted her number into my phone, labeling her contact with the name I preferred.
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After that, I focused on typing up a text to her.
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Maybe I just wanted to talk to her—or I wanted her to acknowledge that I did what we discussed yesterday.
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Either way, it gave me that familiar excited feeling again, nestling deep in my stomach.
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Me: i made my bed this morning. happy?
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I smiled slightly as I sent the text, hoping she would pick up on the attitude I used with her.
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The knots in my stomach grew as I locked my phone, walking over to pick up my coffee mug from where I had set it down previously.
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I tried my best to focus on drinking my coffee and not thinking about my text or her response.
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Five minutes felt like five hours, almost anticipating my phone to light up with her text.
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I quickly glanced over when a text buzzed on my bright lock screen.
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Only it was from Kai.
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I gave my phone a narrowed look, picking it up from the counter.
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Kai: good morning sunshineeeee
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I smiled at her text, shaking my head as I typed back my response.
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Me: good morning :)))
Me: how do you feel about brunch today?
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I watched the typing bubbles quickly pop up, waiting for her response.
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Kai: mimosas?
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I rolled my eyes with a soft chuckle, typing back quickly.
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Me: anything you want Kai
Me: i'm gonna invite Zi and Sid too tho
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My smile grew as I watched the typing bubbles appear again, knowing she was probably groaning in annoyance.
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Kai: buzzkillingtonnnn: (
Kai: i don't wanna hear nothing when i'm drinking these mimosas fr
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I began typing again, quickly sending her one last message so I could text Zion and Sid next.
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Me: you won't hear a peep
Me: promise Kai
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I went out of our texts, scrolling down my text log to text Zion and Sid in our group chat.
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Me: brunch today @ 12 pm???
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I watched as the text delivered through in the group chat, glancing up when another text buzzed through on my phone.
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I assumed it was Kai texting me back.
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Instead, it was her.
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Knots quickly grew in my stomach, clicking on the text message to read her response.
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Doc: You should ask yourself that, River.
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I clenched my jaw as I read her text, hearing her voice so prominently in my head as I typed my response.
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Me: very happy.
Me: are you?
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I watched as the text sent through, anticipating what she would say in response.
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I just wanted her acknowledgment, something she doesn't seem to want to give.
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I glanced back down when my phone buzzed again.
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A few times actually.
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It was from Kai and then Zion and Sid in the group chat.
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I was more focused on Dr. Luccino's response.
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Doc: I'm proud of you.
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I pursed my lips as I read her message over and over again, feeling a sense of satisfaction.
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I was wrong, I guess she does want to acknowledge what I did.
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I think I'm just used to my mother or anyone else breezing past it.
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Another text buzzed through.
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Doc: How did it make you feel?
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I clenched my jaw when a smile threatened to grow on my lips, typing my response back to her.
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Me: good. productive as you said
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I watched as the typing bubbles popped up, anticipating what she would say.
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Doc: That's good to hear, River.
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I halted for a moment, wondering what I should say back to her message.
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I didn't want our conversation to end on a boring note, so I started thinking of ways to switch the mood.
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It was a quick idea that popped into my head, not bothering to contemplate it since I have her attention at this current moment.
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I started texting again, my fingers tapping the screen quickly.
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Me: did you want to come see if i made my bed correctly?
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Me: it seems you have standards
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I smirked as I watched the message send through, rereading it a few times.
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Damn, Im smooth.
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That's all I have to say.
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My smirk widened as I watched the typing bubbles appear again, hoping she wouldn't give me a boring response.
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Doc: I trust you did it properly.
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I raised a brow, seeing her words as a double meaning.
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Or maybe I'm just fucked in the head.
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I started typing again, not wanting to leave the conversation as is.
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Me: so no reward?
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The typing bubbles didn't appear as quickly as last time, so I took the time to answer Zion and Sid, confirming our brunch plans.
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They even sent a few new places we could try out, which I decided to forward to Kai for her approval as well.
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Then two texts buzzed on my phone from Dr. Luccino, which I quickly clicked on to read.
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Doc: I usually give my younger patients lollipops.
Doc: Is that what you want, River?
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An unconscious smile grew on my lips as I began typing again.
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Me: i'm grateful for anything you give me
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My words definitely held a double meaning-one that I knew she would pick up on.
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Luckily, I didn't have to wait too long for her response since she started typing again.
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Then her next text buzzed through.
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Doc: I appreciate your gratitude. Have a good weekend, River.
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I rolled my eyes at her brief message, which basically ended our conversation.
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I knew it was purposeful.
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I purposely thumbs-upped her message out of spite, locking my phone as I leaned away from the counter to walk into my bedroom.
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I already decided I would dress more comfortably for brunch, which I told everyone so we could match similarly.
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A pair of baggy jeans with a cute long-sleeve black bodysuit was what I settled on, sliding on a pair of Nike's for a more sporty look.
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I kept my hair in a ponytail, gelling down my baby hairs to frame my face.
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After I finished getting ready, I exited my apartment and walked down the hallway toward the elevator.
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The drive to the new brunch spot was fifteen minutes out, located closer to Sid and Zion's place.
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They were already there, luckily, securing us a table with how busy it was.
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Kai came in a few minutes after me, wearing a lounge set with her hair in a messy bun.
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"Don't worry, we already ordered mimosas for the table," Zion told Kai, knowing that was the first thing she would say.
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Kai flashed us her usual smile, "Thanks, buzzkillington," she said, sliding in next to me at the booth, "How did your night go?" she asked me, giving me a playful nudge.
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I quickly glanced down to the menu, almost forgetting last night's events entirely, "Uh, pretty good honestly," I lied, deciding that if I was truthful then Kai would think something was wrong.
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Nothing is wrong.
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It was just a weird night.
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"I need all the details later," Kai whispered to me, picking up her menu.
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"Guys french toast or pancakes?" Sid suddenly asked, lowering her menu down.
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"French toast," Zion and I said in unison.
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"Pancakes," Kai said, giving us both a blank look before she shrugged, "Well, I'm getting pancakes," she determined.
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I smiled at her, glancing over when I noticed our waiter approaching us with the ice bucket of champagne and orange juice.
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At least today's going decently well.
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Plus it's Saturday so I still have another day until classes start.
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"Cheers," Kai happily said as she raised her glass, causing us to raise ours as well.
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"Cheers," we said in unison, lightly clinking our glasses together before sipping on our mimosas.
I put a little extra orange juice in mine since I wasn't really in the mood to drink.
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I still had a lot of fun catching up with them, eating a bomb-ass breakfast, and laughing over old memories.
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The awkward occurrence with Octavia was at the back of my head, which is exactly where I intended to leave it.
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