Nadja wiped a tear from her eye as she sat back down in her chair in front of Doctor Fleischer’s desk.
“You ok?” the doctor asked her.
Nadja nodded as the doctor handed her some Kleenex.
“Danke.”
“You really care about her, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“That’s sweet. She’s very lucky to have someone that cares.”
“It’s hard not to care.”
“I agree on that one. But you must understand the tough road ahead for her and the challenge you may be in for as well.”
“I do understand.”
“People like Rainbow are really people-passionate. They do not like to be alone at all, even for a few hours I’m afraid. They don’t do well in large groups any more than they do well on their own, but if she could know that she would always have one or two people around ninety-five percent of the time that she cared about and that she felt close to and really trusted, I’m pretty sure she’d be thrilled.”
Nadja gazed at the doctor thoughtfully. “Do you think that’s why she tried to kill herself; because she felt alone as opposed to that she missed her husband?”
“Oh, I think she missed her husband. Don’t get me wrong. But yes, I do believe the prospect of being alone was a huge driving force behind her actions.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with liking people and being a people person.”
“I didn’t say she liked people,” the doctor interjected. “There’s a big difference. Most people like Rainbow actually don’t care for people in general. But they do crave the attention and company of one or two people they consider special.”
“I see,” Nadja said with a nod. “Again, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but why? Any reason she is the way she is?”
“What makes a person clingy or hungry for companionship varies from person to person. It’s just the way they are, though it usually stems from some kind of childhood abuse. I don’t know much about Rainbow’s past and we haven’t really discussed it as much since it’s not the issue at hand. But it’s usually a byproduct of not necessarily being abused but of being neglected.”
“So abandonment is more likely, huh?”
The doctor nodded. “I think so. But I can only speculate. I can’t know anything for sure that she herself hasn’t directly said. I just wanted to stress the importance to you in understanding that having her in your care might not always be easy.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“Do you have children?”
Nadja shook her head. “As I’ll admit, I didn’t want the responsibility that would come with them, and I also like to travel a few times a year.”
“What do you think makes Rainbow different that you would be so willing to take her in?”
“Because Rainbow’s not a child. Rainbow’s Rainbow. A mildly handicapped and disturbed yet very smart and attractive lady.”
“Rainbow may be mildly handicapped, but I’m not so sure about the emotional part being that mild. Not yet anyway. I think that while it’s great that she’s finally showing some emotion you’re going to see a spattering of candid mood swings at least for a while.”
Nadja half-smiled and said, “I think maybe I could use a little craziness in my life.”
Rainbow finished applying the final touches of her watermelon pink lipstick. “If I’m going to do this thing called life,” she told herself, “I might as well look good while I’m at it.”
Someone suddenly appeared in the doorway of her room and she turned to glance at the woman who stood there.
“Du hast Besucher bekommen.”
“Sehr gut,” she replied, knowing that meant she had visitors.
She placed her lipstick tube down on the small counter in front of the aluminum mirror and let the mental health worker guide her to the lounge area where she knew Nadja would be waiting.
Only she wasn’t alone this time. With her stood a stunning woman, also tall and slender, which she resembled.
“This is my mom, Hildegard,” Nadja said.
It was obvious to Rainbow where Nadja got her beauty. The woman, who had to be around sixty from what she guessed, was truly gorgeous however dyed her hair may be and however false her teeth may be as well. Upon closer inspection, however, she decided her teeth probably weren’t false since one of the back teeth had a small stain on it. But Rainbow didn’t feel the same pleasantness that she saw on the outside radiate from the woman on the inside. Instead, the denim blue eyes which were set in a slim face framed by coppery red hair studied her with a reserved scrutiny.
Hey, what did she expect? She was in the funny farm, wasn’t she?
The woman smiled politely despite her reservations and shook her hand.
Rainbow smiled and said, “Hallo. Wie geht es Ihnen”
The woman said something in German which Rainbow didn’t understand as they all took a seat.
“Es tut Mir leid. Aber meinem Deutsch ist nicht gut,” Rainbow said, and asked Nadja to translate.
“She said not to be fooled by your angelic looks just in case you’re flat out of your mind, and that you would probably be best off returning home.”
Oh, great, Rainbow thought, slack-jawed.
Her mother spoke some more and once again Nadja translated. “She said you’re probably the sweet little angel you appear, but back home you can get the help you need.”
Rainbow said, “No one can help me here or anywhere else.”
“Oh, that’s not true, hun,” Nadja assured her. “Mom’s just a die-hard pessimist that approaches just about everything on a doubtful note.”
“That makes two of us,” Rainbow said.
Nadja translated for her mother.
“I should return to The States if she feels this way. I don’t want to impose on anyone or to be where I’m not wanted.”
“I want you here,” Nadja said adamantly before she said something in a harsh tone to her mother.
Her mother spoke again.
“What?” asked Rainbow once she finished.
“She said she would never turn down the opportunity to help someone whom her daughter was hopelessly infatuated with since she knows she can’t make them return home, and everyone deserves a chance.”
Rainbow’s eyes shifted to her mother, then back to Nadja. “Which is it, does she hate those in loony bins or does she just hate bisexuals?”
Nadja laughed. “She certainly doesn’t hate anyone with emotional issues, and she doesn’t even know you’re bisexual.”
“Does she know you are?”
“I’m not, honey. I’m what I’d call barely bisexual, and no, the fact that I had a one-time encounter with some woman centuries ago hasn’t exactly come up.”
Rainbow burst out laughing. “Barely bisexual?”
“Well,” Nadja said, circling the room self-consciously despite the fact that no one else around them spoke English. “I did tell you men have been my primary cup of tea.”
“Maybe so, but I’d say somebody pissed in that cup of tea recently.”
“Ok, that’s enough, Lady Rainbow. It’s nice to see you laughing again, but this is not the place nor the time for such a discussion, so can we please stop?”
Checking her laughter as hard as it was to do, she changed the subject and asked Nadja how she was doing and how her job was going.
“It’s hectic, but going well.”
Rainbow glanced at Hildegard who eyed her seriously, but not coldly. Then she looked at Nadja again and said, “You know I wouldn’t be able to just go out and get a job. Not even if I woke up tomorrow speaking perfect German.”
“I understand that, honey.”
“I make some money online and I always try to keep busy. I’ve got too much energy to just sit around which is part of why being here and not being able to walk well is hard on me, but I’m afraid there’s no way I could ever return even a fraction of what you’d be giving me.”
“Oh, honey,” Nadja said with a smile. “It’s not about keeping the score even. It’s about me wanting to help you out and to have you around. I enjoy your company and I’m sure mom will too, once she gets to know you.”
“That’s really sweet of you and while your rent and utilities may be pretty much the same with or without me in the picture, there’s the cost of food, clothes and things like that to consider.”
“I know you don’t understand money very well as you yourself have said, but I make a lot of money doing what I do. I think I can afford you,” Nadja said with a wink.
Rainbow thought about it and realized that anyone who could afford to travel three or four times a year surely would have to make a decent amount of money. Now the only question left in Rainbow’s mind was whether or not she could afford to take another chance on life.
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