Nane kept her word, and to Tesla’s surprise, things did get better. Nane also loosened up a bit regarding Tesla’s restrictions and limitations as a submissive and became less critical of her.
The only thing Tesla didn’t appreciate much was the weather once fall set in and dramatically cooled things down. She’d rather endure the stickiness of Germany’s humid summers if she couldn’t have it hot and dry as she most preferred. She hated it even more when fall turned to winter and brought snow.
“Cheer up,” Nane said one snowy Sunday as they headed to her mother’s house. “We’ll be swimming and sunbathing in Turkey before you know it.”
Tesla smiled. Visiting Istanbul hadn’t been one of her lifelong dreams any more than visiting or living in Germany had been, but it would be something new to experience, and there was no doubt she’d enjoy the break from the bitter cold and snow.
They arrived at Nane’s mother’s house a few minutes later, and soon the two were gabbing away in rapid German as if Tesla didn’t even exist. Nane’s mother wasn’t unfriendly, and she didn’t seem to have anything against Tesla, but she wasn’t exactly friendly either. She was simply indifferent. Tesla would describe her as polite rather than warm. She wasn’t cold, but she wasn’t warm. That was the thing about the woman; she wasn’t much of anything.
Although both mother and daughter were slender, they bore no real resemblance otherwise. Where Nane was tall, her mother was short. Their facial features and bone structures differed, too, and while Nane had bluish-gray eyes, her mother’s were greenish-gray. Tesla wondered if Nane had been adopted. Even her brother Mike bore no resemblance to either his mother or sister with his stocky frame and honey-brown eyes.
Tesla listened to them talk in the kitchen. Ordinarily, she would have felt invisible, but she didn’t feel left out simply because she had no desire to join the conversation. She’d learned quite a bit more German over the last few months, but no matter how well she spoke, chatting with someone like Nane’s mother didn’t seem like fun.
Eventually, Tesla grew impatient waiting for Nane to be ready to leave. It seemed time would never come, but finally, after three hours of mostly incomprehensible conversation, Nane was ready.
“Where to now, Master Nane?” Tesla asked, buckling her seatbelt.
“I’d like to just go back to the apartment and fuck the hell out of you,” Nane said, maneuvering through traffic.
“You’re such a liar. Just a total fucking liar,” Nane said late one afternoon, shaking her head, eyes narrowed and focused on the laptop screen before her.
Tesla froze.
What now? Things had been going so well — so what had she done?
“What is it?” she asked.
“You’re saying in your blog that while things are better between us, I’m still rough with you at times in bed and you don’t always feel satisfied. What bullshit! And this shit isn’t supposed to be a matter of public debate, Tesla, which means I want it deleted.”
Oh, right. The blog.
Tesla hadn’t realized Nane was still reading it since they lived together. Nor had she said anything about it in a while. “But you are rough and I told you that many times, Nane. Besides, it’s my blog. So if you don’t like it, don’t read it.”
Nane’s head spun toward her. “I don’t want this private, personal shit—true or not—online for the world to see!”
Tesla sighed. “I’ll edit some of it later.”
“No, you’ll edit all of it now,” Nane demanded.
“You knew I kept an online journal, Nane, and that I’ve written about our sex life before. So why are you suddenly so desperate for it to be deleted?”
“I just told you why. Now do it this instant!”
“No!”
“I gave you an order.”
“And I said no,” Tesla said, determined not to let Nane push her around again. “It’s my journal. I’ll do as I see fit.”
Nane rose from her chair so fast it fell over.
Tesla’s heartbeat sped up. She stood still as a tree trunk as Nane stepped toward her. She hoped she looked calmer than she felt.
In a low, dangerous snarl, Nane said, “I said get the fucking thing deleted now.”
Hating to give in but knowing she had no choice, Tesla said, “I’ll mark that entry as private, but I’m not deleting anything, Nane.”
“Fine! Then I’ll delete it,” Nane shouted.
“You don’t even know the password to my account.”
“Don’t need to,” Nane said, picking up the fallen chair and sitting back down. “You forgot to log out the last time you were in the damn blog.”
Now Tesla was as pissed at herself as at Nane. “Nane, please! Marking it private means no one will see it.”
“Private my ass,” Nane hissed, beginning to delete not just that entry but others as well.
“You asshole!” Tesla screamed, trying to push Nane away from the computer, knowing it was useless.
Nane stood up and slapped her across the face.
Hard.
Tesla’s hand felt ice cold on her now-burning cheek. “That’s it,” she declared once she recovered. “I’m out of here. Forever.”
Nane grabbed Tesla as she fled for the door and threw her down. She straddled Tesla’s stomach, pinning her arms with her legs. “You want out, huh?”
“Stop!” Tesla screamed as Nane toyed with her, slapping her face just hard enough to hurt but not to cause real damage, knowing Tesla was powerless with her arms pinned.
“You think my not wanting you to post private and mostly bullshit stuff online is your worst problem, little lady? Well, go ahead then!” she shouted as she let Tesla up. “Let’s see how far you get out there!”
Tesla rose on shaky feet, stumbled to her purse, snatched it, and ran out the door without closing it.
Outside, she tried to focus on where to go. Despair welled up — she honestly had no idea. The few people she knew also knew Nane, and they’d likely care more about keeping secrets than helping her.
She wrapped her arms around herself; her thin blouse was hardly appropriate for the frigid weather. She was lucky it wasn’t snowing, even though the ground was glazed with ice.
She thought hard but was clueless about where to go. If she knew they’d extradite her, she’d call the police. But she’d done her homework and knew her U.S. charges wouldn’t get her extradited — only arrested at the airport. That was okay; things had gotten so bad with Nane she’d rather face that than stay.
She was glad her aunt hadn’t shipped more belongings overseas. Her aunt was the only one who could help, but she might not be able to wire enough for a ticket right away. Tesla might have to wait a week or two. She needed a place to stay until then.
She looked back at the apartment building. Lights in the parking lot and entrances would soon come on as the sun sank behind the Munich skyline. Never before had she felt so lost and alone.
Suddenly, an idea — foolish and embarrassing, but the only thing she could think of — came to her.
She crept back toward the building entrance and peered through the glass doors from a distance. The hallway looked deserted. Heart pounding, she hurried in and knocked on Dieter’s door, loud enough to be heard by him or his wife, but not anyone else.
She glanced nervously behind her, expecting Nane to burst out any second.
After what felt like forever, she heard someone shuffle to the door. Then, after another eternity, the person fumbled with the lock and pulled the door open a crack.
Smoke seeped into the hall, but Tesla didn’t care.
Dieter, disheveled with days-old stubble, opened the door wider. “What’s up?”
“Dieter!” Tesla whispered frantically. “Can you let me in?”
Tesla expected him to open up immediately, given her distress, but he frowned, wary. “Well, what’s going on?”
“Nane lost her temper again. I’m scared. Really scared. Can you let me stay until I figure something out?”
Tesla wasn’t sure if Dieter looked alarmed or annoyed, but before she could decide, he said, “No. No way. I don’t want to get involved. It’s between you two.”
He slowly closed the door.
Tesla fought the urge to shove it open as the lock clicked.
“Fuck you!” she screamed, not caring if Nane heard. “Just fuck you, you mean, old, insensitive bastard! If she kills me, I hope the guilt kills you!”
Furious, Tesla returned outside, which seemed ten degrees colder than five minutes ago. Her breath fogged the air.
Dieter was always hard to figure. He’d once been rude to her on Facebook before she came to Germany, but she hadn’t told Nane — didn’t want to come between them. He was Nane’s friend and hers. So be it.
No clearer on where to go, Tesla began walking aimlessly. She wasn’t religious and disliked churches for the way they often undermined women, children, and gays, but maybe one could help. Or perhaps there was a shelter where she could stay until her aunt wired money.
She’d gotten about two blocks from the building when a drunk guy jumped out from behind a parked van. Tesla couldn’t make sense of his slurred words, even if she spoke fluent German.
Her heart pounded again, harder this time. Nane’s abuse was at least predictable, but this was a stranger.
The one thing she understood without understanding the drunken bastard was that he wanted what she wasn’t willing to give.
She started running toward the closest church she knew. The drunk gave chase, but she must have had a guardian angel that day because seconds later he slipped on ice and thudded to the ground.
Tesla laughed but kept running. Before she made it another block, however, a shadow emerged from a building wall—and then her laughter turned to horrified shrieks as strong arms grabbed her.
“Who’s laughing now, you stupid piece of shit? Huh? Who’s laughing now?”
Sobbing fearfully, Tesla had no choice but to let Nane drag her back to the apartment if she didn’t want to freeze or face a drunk with better balance.
So much for a guardian angel that day.
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