A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfxOYw5fSy
-:-896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbikxjLRe5R
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5itHIgNxrR
CHARACTERS896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbov9QBRwZ
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NvJ3bBohd
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSzz6qJJQO
--896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNDSV6Y9Vt
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQDy2IixKI
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIldRvn3vPj
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVEZbeVJUq
We don’t have much time.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMf2opLzVer
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Yt2m0kw8m
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuET5zmVFh
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9B25OgDinm
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuBjV6zFri
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRahTBREQ0
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEt2FMMQaMD
I understand you’re upset - 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiMvdjvqIC
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡec67zXnxA2
I damn well am! 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1sYjbg1i6
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosZmR4YhhQ
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBi6MoYl91z
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdeLxaJ5pb
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYl2QYuYyc0
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD30KWFsiw9
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndnawGgeBG
(slowly)896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapU57Ot7L8
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMJPJyguAX
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQWdghWK1q
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJdxtOXNp8
What?896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPD7wuw8mE
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboOGeYtPH3
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQC82dvQ0i4
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDf9TEU39Z
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJfOHximia
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B5tE4R1G5
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx0XAFbNNv
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dCQcgjbXv
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNNw4vlpKl
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89bYvntVUQ
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KX6R1t4oW
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgWf3ciNCN
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosgYUWs20U
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsb1CaLtysm
That may be the case, but look at this.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11LMHmXhSg
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUGhwn7g9r
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUFVbR41mB
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSb7HYGoaq8
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4j1gkm8xI
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsed2974eb1
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4B86Y9iOi
(grimly)896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPYIcjPP1Y
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5S9XYSmqG
CECIL896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOx6XaZexl
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPk6B8sn9N
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29RVbfQy0R
XIUYING896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdLRHLlOc7
Who said anything about paying them off?896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqVST2hLBl
--896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NYiVVV6Nz
