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A Narrative of You and Me
Writer Alef Magnus
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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A Narrative of You and Me
A - A - A
Alef Magnus
Comments ( 10 )
MarsianWarrior - I  think it originally came from it.
2 years agoreply

MarsianWarrior - That cover was a picture of Aragorn and Arwen. I know it!
2 years agoreply

Alef Magnus - It does look like them! Haha I only had the photo saved from Tumblr.
2 years agoreply

LittleSingsonger - Great first sentence. Really gets the reader's interest. I find the premise of this story great. It has potential. But it's also quite an ambitious project. I can't wait to read the rest 
3 years agoreply

Alef Magnus - Wow. Thank you! It's quite ambitious I agree. Your comments are gonna help direct me on how the story should go. It's still a work in progress. :)
3 years agoreply

Suspicious - I'm pretty shy so I'll make this quick. I love the premise of your story (it's very unique), and I'm pretty excited to see how it unfolds. For a prologue, it sure grabbed my interest!- Suspicious
3 years agoreply

Alef Magnus - Thank you! I hope you're patient in as I'm writing different stories at once. :) No need to be shy! You are free to leave suggestions on where you think the story should go. This is one of those stories I've conceptualized not set in stone.
3 years agoreply

once upon a star -

hi Alef!

I liked how you described the husband's internal emotions and struggles when looking at his wife in the dream. The story has a unique plot dealing with the complexities of the husband's feelings for his wife and the situations he is constantly put in the sea of dreams, which is cool!

I have a few suggestions for the story...I'm not sure if it would work well though!(I'll just type them out in case they're of help!)

For this chapter, I think it might be nice to expand a bit more on the husband's internal feelings and reminiscences of his past life with Sophia (maybe a few more lines or an extra paragraph describing a special memory or vivid scene in the past?) It might also be good to have a scene describing Sophia looking into the eyes of her husband, where she seems to remember who he is, tries hard, but fails, and looks away scared. The connection is there, but she seems unable to connect with him at this point in time. It could later develop into moments of remembering when they meet again in subsequent dreams, when they start to understand each other more and strengthen their bond into a connection which was once lost.

Ah right! I was hoping to know the husband's real name..I'll be looking forward to that as well! To be honest, when I was reading the story I somehow felt a bit more connected to it than I usually would, because there was once a friend of mine who called me Sophie instead of my real name, as he said I felt like a Sophie and hoped to call me that instead. I had a nice time reading this..thank you for posting it and I would be looking forward to your next chapters!

All the best with writing!:)
3 years agoreply

Alef Magnus - A very long and intensive reply, I LOVE THIS!! Thank you for the suggestions. And good points, I'll make sure to incorporate them in the edits or in the coming chapters. This comment got me excited to continue writing this story.
I might also have to call you Sophie from now on instead of that phrase! Thank you so much. Haha :)
3 years agoreply

once upon a star - I'm so happy to hear you're excited with writing the coming chapters!:') And your comment made me smile just now! *giggles* I hope I could keep the excitement going for as long as time allows!:)

Have a nice day!
3 years agoreply