Fighting the Dark

I looked at the light. Out of the corners of my eyes I could see the doctors rushing around me, but I couldn't hear them.

It was blissfully quiet. Wonderfully calm. But I wasn't ready. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOs7rp28L3 維尼

I wanted to see the sunlight again. I didn't want the last light I'd ever see to be an examining light. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbiixWCwbP 維尼

I took all the strength I had, and tried to sit up. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AOifljaSb 維尼

Nothing happened. I could see, no, feel the darkness closing in on me. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1ARK3YTrG 維尼

I felt pressure being put on my chest, someone breathing for me, but i couldn't see it.8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZJi1dgvS8 維尼

I began feeling like I was floating. The pressures on my chest became less and less noticeable. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmXn79EVXr 維尼

I had to make it stop. There was only one thing I could do. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQmrvTlSLy 維尼

I gathered all the strength I had. Though it didn't seem like I had any strength at all.8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6Sv6LFSnH 維尼

I had to do this. I had things to do before I went. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQCS8CdTua 維尼

With all the strength I had, I breathed in. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vRZiVCNIr 維尼

I felt the darkness lesson. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGJfFZYMnX 維尼

I gathered more strength and breathed out. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxLTMKFSiB 維尼

In, out, in, out. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDugsdbimI 維尼

With every breath it became easier, and the darkness let go of me a little more. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IfIcloFaH 維尼

Until finally the darkness was gone, and the light was all that was left. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbKI8FEwFp 維尼

I let a hand go to my chest. I wanted to feel my heart beat. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7bhL2UoDY 維尼

My stomach dropped. I didn't have one. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDdpK46Ywa 維尼

I slowly sat up. Around me seemed to be a type of hospital.8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dBouC9kCm 維尼

white and silver robots rolled around everywhere, going in and out of a small door, or passing through the curtains on either side of my bed.8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkK8SQS8xL 維尼

A small tv was on the wall in front of me, a bedside table with magazines and pills were to her right, on the left was quite a lot of equipment. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnMpgHDLDQ 維尼

Standing next to my bed, writing in a note pad was a tall, black haired girl, who could only have been about thirteen.8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91TWTtrg8b 維尼

Her eyes were the color of dark chocolate, her hair was like coal, and went all the way to her knees. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC9gKZddIM 維尼

All in all, she was the most beautiful thirteen year old I had ever seen.8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrgTw8winn 維尼

she looked up at me. "Well finally! Welcome! You have experienced death." 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡpovzKcLZx0 維尼

I blinked, confused. "I what?" 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJAhHtpMO9 維尼

"Death. D.E.A.T.H. That stands for death episode at the hospital."8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhVl3r6Fbl 維尼

I blinked again, still confused. "What?" 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lQkrt4DlY 維尼

She gave me a 'are you really that dumb?' look. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡraaese3zmc 維尼

I suddenly realized that she had a British accent. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7olDNglmOY 維尼

She sighed. "Okay. So you were an experiment. We sent some people down to earth mentally years ago, we slowly added people. You were one of them."8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm8eFAxx6f 維尼

She glanced at her notepad. "You were added when you were three, so that's why you had your first memory at that age."8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡxf3L7uYyOT 維尼

I suddenly realized what was going on here. My whole life had been false. But I had to get back to it. Now. Someone was waiting for me. 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡq46F6VS3BH 維尼

(A/N)8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hYdLKAsSR 維尼

cue the doctor who theme song! So be patient with me, as I'm still getting used to this website, and I will try to update at least three times a week, but hey, I'm busy! 8964 copyright protection312ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHG12gRxLj 維尼

ns35.173.234.169da2

Aretice N. Treader - This was a pretty interesting first chapter! I didn't quite expect the story to head in this direction (judging by the description), but I think I'll like it.
There were a few things I'd fix, however. First, a bit of housekeeping (aka grammar). For the most part, your grammar is great. There were only a few things, such as lack of capitalization (i.e. i instead of I, the first letters of a few sentences, tv instead of TV [the general capitalization, anyway]). Now, for the actual writing style, I didn't have a problem with it except for one thing. Don't get me wrong; it's easy to follow and does a pretty good job of communicating the characters' feelings, but the way the paragraphs are broken up (basically every line) is a bit distracting and can cut off the reader's attention.
Overall, however, I liked the chapter. Keep it up! :)

5 years ago

Fighting the Dark

Slipping into the dark

REGISTER

LOGIN

Interface Language:

Story Language: