Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiQsSbJGym
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq3twlRBEG
“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhol7teArR
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPEmbImJSq
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“I love you,” he said.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAN8Axygg6T
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkLSS1HLcO
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dc63RBt02
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB0DaDgqou
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“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCWaHLYHsw
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“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaN7mtSNQr2
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2aZMqgrkh
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8pMCwUx4i
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlApC7kiLT
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCl2RZF9bH
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOZOP1k5oK
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvNNxYAyhm
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz58r2RGLqn
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCCvJZ3CWh
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4W5Ft6etG
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDgXmYqpKA
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTIcpYB6JE
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRoIs9Usv1
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5HRfxyBOJ
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT62Fj6zgT
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiF8ipBtns
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9i2OUSqHS3
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOA1JH5CFS
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVfrKfaZbR
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPt2ohVBFG
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjAWrue0uC
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFJ4NjGpCL
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pg20wbnJR
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIUfx5s5gq
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fOCYMqufG
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFBk2AEZuZ
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLh2Zi6SvM
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrmSWLeygg
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSovnHdYeMd
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM2Vo7nUlU
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29pLN1OSUY
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryzPSvgffE
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2WT5xmxPr
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxSQF4gAL7
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztTia7wqfV
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6hsFAWWLX
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyq9C9VZR5
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlyKVqdSHb
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5JzvCE8D8
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fICiWLiey
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWOmVlQhMC
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aYvlnYxMA
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“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl55BuakLkM
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8CBVsNgHx
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“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmeJuoetkf
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3Z7BADtv2
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN3VZsLOnJ
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTmONDluYD
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtozpkJNRH
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfifkLsHRlD
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7OsCE6S1A
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZQriP9Z7f
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA7kaQRjf0
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfnf3Q1cBJ
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRhf4h3C8P
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcsHNjAeAd
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGLr23cN0E
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLswwP9NtvC
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQSSFR3OjB
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnUQPJUbgS
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssmWwmkVaJ
It isn’t possible.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdquvqso1AE
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbykUoKpUq8
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT08zqoEYF
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTs1E9hCAUs
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1Fg5Udquz
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnZjcQtFJa
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡui56L3RXcp
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwytafihaB5
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZiUIHG9rF
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYMtGbkmZ7
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7068YnLzJ
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbfd6xXSWX
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWdBMr7evU
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaliazlie8
“Like what?” he said.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKg9sRVMUy
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSE01tNoSZb
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKqREEhX7m
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaXnTsAPHZ
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLaFR9Ctfg
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iSHKQgGG3
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwZpE3oGJb
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucJ7NhjNVW
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi7Doqj9I0
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNIHWL3wpD
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHkTUXI6FH
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKFqqC9dia
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBlvxv3tdV
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH24zeIusBg
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwh9ZMfxvhk
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn47FkiNgUw
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYnBAvEavy
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08BumihfyB
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1a8lEft8Q
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoEArE0eDc
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBCciDZMIy
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4ccg5zzyl
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IKo7LW7FI
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwpIy1LEb4
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QyEvjv7PF
822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhr6IXnKtZ
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.822Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf6AQM2g9n
Penana
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