Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcPYJa2xIf
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY3uCKISbi
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZV0t5pM3j
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“I love you,” he said.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNVwdY04xK
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBcOf6k2Ry
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡql7A068Wfz
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3Z0oA10ir
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIJo2loAw5
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWei90nRrFO
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYe2kxFZ94
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpaTOiIqhw
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41Xh2Vq2C3
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoz0pRJXpd
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrPCGaDDOe
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c2RkoX2ab
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHCBISb2Bk
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHYr9xVumB
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRpkZ3jHlG
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiEwxO95m7
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLikYau8f2W
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICz00G4bZH
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLGNShX01i
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ewPYLRvka
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4wdmfnvTY
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It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJ2efHWkQv
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHZZN4XQws
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPed6SJttbd
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PTsQLtyPK
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxq8rbfZfj
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICqQ5V23ZC
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2zHWQoodu
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjaWxj5UrV
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90hgRLBwaI
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIONfTc0ygb
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQmvhffAC0
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwvXPyBcJG
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hOvIILFeq
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdrhkmazHa
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2IXKOhpIr
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT0TvIfSM7
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjD8E5KCe9i
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b54YrUlwS
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRpsL7XQ9r
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Rnkrm5In1
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEGn5I8fTg
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd00mfn3rpj
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNJPj7FsMs
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkhmrzS6ZC
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOs2PEX3HP4
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JDWzB4f82
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgblxVxnpoo
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18t222kPj4
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi6E9zSS97
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShW4ntxUuk
“Oh, Master’s then?” 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVm23lChHZ
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuvTgCDdtr
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5ae2Qb3nv
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxaxw51sai
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBHJ1gkr2z
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRBHsAcc7g
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSUUtgKhH1
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwju76KJYbZ
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGriXjYU3FW
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAQUsDVBaC
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVknCv0hYJa
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxf2KsYw7R
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWv8eKdzGd
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwjm0Q7XC0
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6y9uA3NFkS
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgsDw0eD9w
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeIlm3DtCR
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC5FJb1Exj
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSf3ULktEub
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV25Le25g3E
It isn’t possible.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡver9YxsFc3
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzCaRT4CH3
He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyRh3eLnTg
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVtiCpl6FB
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lNjTC3lls
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbabPgoqoj3
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRmhJGAomH
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8kFpNijkG
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYdsiNjqkE
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQtWWwVOQ9
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOiiXLFUXq
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoAz2oICX9
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNzuXOcmiT
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTmzcJbhEq
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRHHGnmBzC
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0N8NUBLde
“Like what?” he said.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjt2xiPKDm
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6dXOavwS8
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJTY1zJiqx
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHlU3PwZld
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gfH5uHQGU
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN63avtxOe
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKejHdLnzj
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0fagE42Ka
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUNvMNFie3
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiWUBW7idN
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OgPPzXwtx
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vOrkB3EQv
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjxQOcBg9i
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOm7Z8zul0
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfF5KGnoWb
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju63hJ4UPU
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrNc29XLyo
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqaHsvcC7K
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskywXDLYKN
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtqysNku2m
“Who are you?” she murmurs.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi5EeFtGd5
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YQCdgG7RU
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfhmc2fqVw
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd9e1stlNA
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5iHRTKScr
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLYjAUzKr8
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVt8HMoHA7A
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQjcVXN10c
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdYnbIgNM2
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXsdKb2QfW
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLW8Ih7kaOk
629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllXu72n5cq
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJitYxXd8GR
Penana
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