Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCGlzfEVc8
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBc3pWLSS0Q
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WhF6bU7ik
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“I love you,” he said.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2a4vGqzrpx
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrX5YhoqlAL
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“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuTJb6j4e1
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“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2WMx4psMt
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“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tI6OnmxtY
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“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOGXus7ixl
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“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73e8QkGJQH
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDJ7HvL8DX
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The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYiO36PA18
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Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EjaVc2xND
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“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUHCj75eiH
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She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgObS54ytMO
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It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33qp81HrEw
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He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLcTksW1Oc
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Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwn2R5QhSdb
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He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiOGJ74b7U
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He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIOVn5cujv
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He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq29InG6zum
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One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nXWDnt1Td
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“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtckyZK0TmW
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“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wDndF0AMc
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“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnm6rN4TH4
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“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPBNBqc7ft
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Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqGSiSGP44
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“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCtPZB89Ol
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“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ38DOq9ZUM
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“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczqYgp2Q4W
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdQK7y9DpH
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“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTFxw6lAG9
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6ZWvzukbS
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Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsJ9SxEQuN
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“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXIfP0yPDr
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Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QqV4xlQ75
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He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdCKscxera
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He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKcUi3MPru
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He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWLKSbQmWL
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He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFYIi0T9Ak
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It isn’t possible.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHt8eEQ3RkH
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgsytyHQud
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He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKPzhRfNO5
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Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyREfb6AlAO
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If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzq2Y3RVow
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But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKwbpS1WuF
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBx7ZAkxJ9r
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“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPxRwL5iQe
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“Like what?” he said.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzPDyMeqKM
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTqktRGoRM
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8cyurHBL8
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m1sFXmK7I
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwiuwWZogT
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfiL1V6eg3
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B4mKUhQ7X
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEhx9vDzI8
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnrDJgR1bj
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Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYSck4GBy1
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Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI2NxJUS5B
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwsSX60FCa
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfYl4KfXcL
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“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJu3C5h3qrm
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“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4sQX06Wz2
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He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSwXI3DiQh
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNrVpnximz
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAztW7JfF6u
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