Mai uses her plié to come into relevé, her toes in grande pointe. She feels the sheen of sweat on her neck, even as she holds it high, trying to embody the grace of a swan.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpkaqRXD1I
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYauNfswFv
Her execution is perfect, her expression is perfect. She shows no outward signs of her toes screaming in pain, even as she feels the telltale wet warmth in her shoes.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXznYTW4i81
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Rqk2RcZud
Her face remains serene.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVcSqZ8SwN
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡounMshIxzR
A memory comes to her mind—Megumi-chan as a baby curled in Dad’s arms. She was born too early. She was sick. Her heart wasn’t strong enough. She wasn’t expected to live past a couple of years, even with all the 23rd century medical technology.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzIZULQ7Kl
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlthxmHwuA3
Mai feels her expression falter and quickly snaps it back into place, coming into the present and leaving behind a past she can’t change. When she dances, she has utter control over every part of her body. It’s the only time her life feels like it’s truly her own.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYxGL0Xtxw
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl66351OV8z
The audience is packed. Flashes burst from the auditorium before her life dramatically dying stars. Fourteen years and five auditions. All the sacrifices she’s made, and all the hours she’s put in. Mai didn’t go to prom or Homecoming or any other normal high school event. And it was all in preparation for today.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht3y0pgxTQ
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcP8SA9Q4G
This should have been her beginning.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpMttSuiOD
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS56VE7kUEe
*/*/*225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgrzpjayaf
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxE208UvqI
Megumi realizes she’s wrinkling the program between her fingers and quickly tries to smooth it out, running her finger along Mai’s name.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iNfesmym1
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6heGGyRfI
She tries not to fidget, even though her mind wandered off at least an hour ago. She’s in Hawaii, hiking up the side of a volcano, the blackened lava rocks warm beneath her sneakers. The air is choked with steam and the odor of sulfur.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ufKwgSqLj
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UCX9QpwoL
From there, she makes her way down a white beach sand. The soft, wed sand sinks under her feet. Warm and gentle waves lap across her skin, leaving behind patterns of salt and sand. She can feel the warmth of the sea breeze that makes the palm trees dance, and she can taste the tang of the air.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcSPqywYpL
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvgWgNc9dY
Her guidebooks are at home, filled with annotations of everything she can’t leave Hawaii without seeing. Megumi wishes she brought one of them along, but immediately feels guilty. She should be watching Mai right now. Mai’s dream is ending because of Megumi.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnS5k2VJyk
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6wnWXVsWl
A sharp ache in her chest makes her flinch. She rubs at it surreptitiously at her chest. When she’s certain her parents are focused completely on Mai, she pulls a pill out of her pocket—hiding it in her palm—and slides it into her mouth.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDRvz7iMhv
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKTDPdFKXe
Mom’s gaze snaps to her immediately. She starts leaning in toward Megumi.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4skBPgyLJu
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X8XtH5Lum
“I’m fine,” Megumi says, a little too sharply. She softens her voice. “Let’s just watch Mai, okay?”225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf6aSVnyGk
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLN7mCoVo7
Her mom takes her hand but turns forward to watch the performance again.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqv5ysygyjK
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAZ2LSY8qE
Megumi watches too, keeping her eyes on her sister rather than on the other dancers. Although Megumi can’t even do the same hike twice, Mai is the type who can do the same step one thousand times over until she knows it perfectly, even if that means breaking her toes in the process.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdqhlMUJIi
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9NWHguYPO
Megumi knows the heart is just an organ, and she knows living heart donations are common in this century, but Megumi can’t help but wonder. She wonders if the piece of heart she’s being gifted will change her in any way or if she’ll still be one hundred percent Megumi.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKpIMaAKj1
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNfP4ACYjl
*/*/*225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgau46ckBa9
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSUPBGZcrj
After the performance, Mai sits on a bench in the dressing room, staring at the ballet slippers encasing her feet. She can’t bring herself to take them off just yet. She wants to wait at least until the other dancers are gone.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR6tGa3i8n
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpy8tFkOgu
Once the last of the voices fades away, she begins to unlace her slippers slowly and ceremoniously, letting them fall off her feet—her feet that are so calloused and bruised and broken that it’s a wonder they’re each still in one piece. She cleans the blood off carefully, loving her mangled feet for persevering through the torture she’s subjected them to. They are her pride and her prize, proof of the work she’s done.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGnSwYzwa0
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoRVRy6VRf
Her heart aches, the pain so real she wonders for a second if something might be wrong with her heart too. But, no. Her heart just knows it’s about to be broken—split in half and taken from her.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuERD7wXWM
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUtPM0OlwZ
Mai isn’t upset about that. How can she be? Megumi-chan’s life is far more important than anything else.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmndifLoaD
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDt7hkLpQIl
Still, she selfishly wishes a miracle would happen—Megumi-chan’s heart would magically heal or an even better donor match would drop out of the sky. But Mai knows she’s the best option. Their parents are too old. It can only be a sibling, and Mai and Megumi-chan match almost perfectly.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaf7Z17NnE
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJ0aWiqIGB
She wonders what it might have been like to live in a time when living heart donations weren’t possible.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk4tBpe1gX
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnU7C17E9V2
“There you are,” Laurel says, sitting on the bench beside her. “That was fantastic, Mai. I could really only see room for improvement in a couple of places.”225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNILNTI6jrM
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN6ZhIowKF
Laurel goes on, and Mai lets her, barely hearing her words. Mai wants to say something about Laurel being the best dance coach ever, but thinks Laurel would find it weirdly sentimental. Mai hasn’t told anyone she won’t be able to dance anymore because she can’t let go of the selfish hope that something will save her and release her from this obligation.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7zBKBIpKD
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxmclfVrzm
And then she feels guilty for thinking of Megumi-chan as an obligation.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet9ltr4RXO
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrV62FHK4s
When Laurel leaves, Mai pulls her knees to her chest until she feels turned inside out.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡow0KJl0ENz
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ023aowCsnz
Her life until now has been a dream, and she’s being woken up.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV1c13RJOW
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdsbXbxYQk
*/*/*225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRnA1L6Eeu
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvpeHriza6
“Are you scared?” Megumi asks Mai.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwljZxhb4g1
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNSMoUyvyN
“No,” Mai says from the other bed. “Are you?”225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Miq10RjA2
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6oK5V2hZi
“Of course not,” Megumi lies.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo6bbu6K0F
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0rQqtQhNq
She hears the steady beat of Mai’s heart monitor. Megumi’s own monitor beeps a little erratically as her weak heat tries to find a steady rhythm. She wonders what Mai is thinking right now—what she must be feeling.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdxIYDD0UD
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjd2ppdUvYU
“Half a heart isn’t enough to support an athletic lifestyle,” Dr. Aguerra said seriously when he proposed the surgery to the family. “Mai, no one can coerce or pressure you into making this decision. If you agree to do it, you’ll undergo a psych evaluation to make sure this is your choice and your choice alone.”225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavUCmk5cCT
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW7aF5Oj6I
Megumi was so tired at the time she could barely keep her eyes open. She let them fall shut because she didn’t want to see Mai’s expression as Mai said yes.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpWYOlcIRa
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2GxF2SLfv
“I’ll do it,” Mai said. “I don’t need to think about it.”225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETrL47QSqX
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmmylbUxUL
When they were kids, the two of them would go on adventures. It’s something Mai outgrew quickly, but Megumi still hasn’t. They found a treehouse in the woods behind their house once. Seeing it was abandoned, they decided it was theirs. Megumi would go there and wait for Mai to come home from dance practice.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxOp5tsXfH
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTBUEF1vyr
She was there one day, waiting for Mai, when the rotting wood collapsed beneath her, pitching her out of the treehouse. Mai arrived just in time to catch Megumi, breaking her arm in the process. She didn’t complain about it once, even when it meant she couldn’t dance for three weeks.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaOPI90CHV
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopsdPxHhvW
Megumi swallows the guilt and the fear that she’s being selfish.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXPASugUZP
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsZahHkhk1
Her weak heart manages to catch up to Mai’s heart—the one they’ll soon be sharing.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJrFWgdDyJ
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxHp7zUntT
*/*/*225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPmc0DTkVe
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8XOOT51xD
Mai has a moment of panic before the anesthesia is administered. She doesn’t think she can’t do this. It’s a nightmare, spilling into her lungs and suffocating her. She can’t stop dancing. She doesn’t know how to be a full person if she isn’t a dancer.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7arxh1rFu
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSkH4klYFg
But then she looks at the black hair spilling over the side of the bed beside her. Megumi-chan is already under, maybe dream of everything she’ll do when she wakes up with a new heart. After all, half a functioning heart is better than a full non-functioning heart.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1oaPc4UeC
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZJHrhZsJF
Mai tries to take her sister’s hand, but she can’t reach it.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5xiMCC7Ai
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNjNX9023f
She closes her eyes and opens them a moment later. At least it feels like a moment later. The soreness in her chest says otherwise. She feels in pieces. Her mind is still foggy from the anesthesia but the mental capacity that is still working tries to make sense of the changes she has to make to her life now.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBeojGGj8p
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6uvoh71pI
Mai feels incomplete already, like she needs to undergo some sort of mental rehab to teach her to be a normal person without being a dancer. She is empty and devoid of purpose, wondering how people adapt to situations that turn their lives around completely.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNvDBtMBvQ
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQar5yLLf4U
She supposes they do it out of necessity. Mai has made this choice, and although she doesn’t doubt it’s the right one, she has no idea how to come to terms with it.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE309ypqGqQ
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKDUnfo9QU
*/*/*225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZH4rMDcxTh
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxksGTR7zi
The light is too bright when Megumi wakes up. Her eyes mist over, and she has to blink out the tears and let them adjust before taking stock of her surroundings. Oxygen is being fed to her through a mask. Needles thread her arms so she can barely move without tugging at one or another. She lifts her hand to her chest, feeling the uneven skin under her hospital gown. She hears the beep of a heart rate monitor—but just one.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXY2BTpQiyH
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxohYbVbJO
Turning her head as much as she can, Megumi sees Mom right outside the open door. Mom’s face is buried in her hands, shoulders shaking.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbmME2Fvaf
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7ePJ7fApN
Megumi is a bit more alert, her blood going cold. Did something go wrong with Mai?225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhClGTkRPvB
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXMZKq2qWd
But she turns her head to the other side, and her sister is on her bed—at Megumi’s side as always. Mai is flipping through magazine sand eating chocolate pudding, but she exclaims when she sees Megumi awake.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJlUz41PEr
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCW4XCYhtNN
“Are you okay? How do you feel?”225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rLRrwhuWd
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCX2wx6ymL
Megumi motions tiredly to the oxygen mask on her face. She feels lightheaded and tired, but her new heart feels strong. Even having just half of it feels so much better than her old heart.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZH4Xj2fNQ
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SiNJJj1dg
That’s when she realizes there are two heart monitors after all. It’s just that both of them are beeping perfectly in sync.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUSdXpL4X7
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX7x24Q5jE
Dr. Aguerra comes in and checks on Megumi, finally taking off the oxygen mask.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmweagXuhb
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx5DK32v7Z
“We just need to run a few tests,” he says. “We’ll take Mai out first. You just wait here and relax until we come and get you.”225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWXKuZOl58
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1uwfENd85
He turns on the TV and hands her the remote after helping her sit up. Megumi thought she just wanted to sleep, but once she’s seated, she feels more awake.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTCuwmxySE
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvBvg5v5qB
As they wheel Mai out, Megumi catches sight of her backpack on a chair in the corner of the room. The lace from Mai’s favorite ballet shoes hangs outside the zipper. Swallowing the ache, Megumi turns her gaze back to the TV. She isn’t really paying attention, though. She’s enjoying the feel of her new heart and thinking about everything she loves…and admittedly everything she hates too. To her relief, her new heart responds as it should. She’d still the same person.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqCIXSnK5v
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuorYVOwtH
But then she stops on a channel showing a dance competition. Megumi, who couldn’t even watch her sister’s biggest performance without fidgeting, finds herself riveted by the strangers dancing onscreen. Her pulse quickens, and she lets the remote rest on her lap.225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2cMytS4yj
225Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMKivHaSrg
For some reason she doesn’t quite understand, a tear squeezes out of her eye.copyright protection221ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS0jy6ocWH
