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Mai uses her plié to come into relevé, her toes in grande pointe. She feels the sheen of sweat on her neck, even as she holds it high, trying to embody the grace of a swan.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt94HEtPqo9
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Her execution is perfect, her expression is perfect. She shows no outward signs of her toes screaming in pain, even as she feels the telltale wet warmth in her shoes.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1ioOQmY0Y
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Her face remains serene.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5QxCEcoqH
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A memory comes to her mind—Megumi-chan as a baby curled in Dad’s arms. She was born too early. She was sick. Her heart wasn’t strong enough. She wasn’t expected to live past a couple of years, even with all the 23rd century medical technology.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZXuuEO1Fh
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Mai feels her expression falter and quickly snaps it back into place, coming into the present and leaving behind a past she can’t change. When she dances, she has utter control over every part of her body. It’s the only time her life feels like it’s truly her own.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9rhCrpY4y
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The audience is packed. Flashes burst from the auditorium before her life dramatically dying stars. Fourteen years and five auditions. All the sacrifices she’s made, and all the hours she’s put in. Mai didn’t go to prom or Homecoming or any other normal high school event. And it was all in preparation for today.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1Iw3NjVWU
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This should have been her beginning.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCnFrrWmvN
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Megumi realizes she’s wrinkling the program between her fingers and quickly tries to smooth it out, running her finger along Mai’s name.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfSxHwoBKU
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She tries not to fidget, even though her mind wandered off at least an hour ago. She’s in Hawaii, hiking up the side of a volcano, the blackened lava rocks warm beneath her sneakers. The air is choked with steam and the odor of sulfur.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4P3ZtU1YY
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From there, she makes her way down a white beach sand. The soft, wed sand sinks under her feet. Warm and gentle waves lap across her skin, leaving behind patterns of salt and sand. She can feel the warmth of the sea breeze that makes the palm trees dance, and she can taste the tang of the air.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rNjLOozuU
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Her guidebooks are at home, filled with annotations of everything she can’t leave Hawaii without seeing. Megumi wishes she brought one of them along, but immediately feels guilty. She should be watching Mai right now. Mai’s dream is ending because of Megumi.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLknWT6kQ9f
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A sharp ache in her chest makes her flinch. She rubs at it surreptitiously at her chest. When she’s certain her parents are focused completely on Mai, she pulls a pill out of her pocket—hiding it in her palm—and slides it into her mouth.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7urgesDqB
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Mom’s gaze snaps to her immediately. She starts leaning in toward Megumi.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBdeD5Xyy5
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“I’m fine,” Megumi says, a little too sharply. She softens her voice. “Let’s just watch Mai, okay?”339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt1AGAzkAv
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Her mom takes her hand but turns forward to watch the performance again.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNR998rO6E5
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Megumi watches too, keeping her eyes on her sister rather than on the other dancers. Although Megumi can’t even do the same hike twice, Mai is the type who can do the same step one thousand times over until she knows it perfectly, even if that means breaking her toes in the process.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrnx37YiqS
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Megumi knows the heart is just an organ, and she knows living heart donations are common in this century, but Megumi can’t help but wonder. She wonders if the piece of heart she’s being gifted will change her in any way or if she’ll still be one hundred percent Megumi.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkXcoMg8pO
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After the performance, Mai sits on a bench in the dressing room, staring at the ballet slippers encasing her feet. She can’t bring herself to take them off just yet. She wants to wait at least until the other dancers are gone.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamwzvxn6GI
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Once the last of the voices fades away, she begins to unlace her slippers slowly and ceremoniously, letting them fall off her feet—her feet that are so calloused and bruised and broken that it’s a wonder they’re each still in one piece. She cleans the blood off carefully, loving her mangled feet for persevering through the torture she’s subjected them to. They are her pride and her prize, proof of the work she’s done.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIcQpHdRpi
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Her heart aches, the pain so real she wonders for a second if something might be wrong with her heart too. But, no. Her heart just knows it’s about to be broken—split in half and taken from her.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpB0vLyPEc
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Mai isn’t upset about that. How can she be? Megumi-chan’s life is far more important than anything else.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLeFbLpV5V
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Still, she selfishly wishes a miracle would happen—Megumi-chan’s heart would magically heal or an even better donor match would drop out of the sky. But Mai knows she’s the best option. Their parents are too old. It can only be a sibling, and Mai and Megumi-chan match almost perfectly.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZvmyMcXoU
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She wonders what it might have been like to live in a time when living heart donations weren’t possible.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOo6i2Bc1Ot
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“There you are,” Laurel says, sitting on the bench beside her. “That was fantastic, Mai. I could really only see room for improvement in a couple of places.”339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ7YgTZOub
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Laurel goes on, and Mai lets her, barely hearing her words. Mai wants to say something about Laurel being the best dance coach ever, but thinks Laurel would find it weirdly sentimental. Mai hasn’t told anyone she won’t be able to dance anymore because she can’t let go of the selfish hope that something will save her and release her from this obligation.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRQaeIVdxB
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And then she feels guilty for thinking of Megumi-chan as an obligation.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1sLNukgJg
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When Laurel leaves, Mai pulls her knees to her chest until she feels turned inside out.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9SpVC8P67
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Her life until now has been a dream, and she’s being woken up.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIouEmmV9gX
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“Are you scared?” Megumi asks Mai.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2AdLYbyhm
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“No,” Mai says from the other bed. “Are you?”339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRDqb1QTcS
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“Of course not,” Megumi lies.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcmIbwj8JG
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She hears the steady beat of Mai’s heart monitor. Megumi’s own monitor beeps a little erratically as her weak heat tries to find a steady rhythm. She wonders what Mai is thinking right now—what she must be feeling.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCnB9spZrf
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“Half a heart isn’t enough to support an athletic lifestyle,” Dr. Aguerra said seriously when he proposed the surgery to the family. “Mai, no one can coerce or pressure you into making this decision. If you agree to do it, you’ll undergo a psych evaluation to make sure this is your choice and your choice alone.”339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tHIuH11ps
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Megumi was so tired at the time she could barely keep her eyes open. She let them fall shut because she didn’t want to see Mai’s expression as Mai said yes.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EgC4aH7UC
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“I’ll do it,” Mai said. “I don’t need to think about it.”339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnj7wh9Xn8
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When they were kids, the two of them would go on adventures. It’s something Mai outgrew quickly, but Megumi still hasn’t. They found a treehouse in the woods behind their house once. Seeing it was abandoned, they decided it was theirs. Megumi would go there and wait for Mai to come home from dance practice.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxnIg6og0G
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She was there one day, waiting for Mai, when the rotting wood collapsed beneath her, pitching her out of the treehouse. Mai arrived just in time to catch Megumi, breaking her arm in the process. She didn’t complain about it once, even when it meant she couldn’t dance for three weeks.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZW7nxS8xjJ
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Megumi swallows the guilt and the fear that she’s being selfish.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNRj3y8xMd
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Her weak heart manages to catch up to Mai’s heart—the one they’ll soon be sharing.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM7q0ZGV9F
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Mai has a moment of panic before the anesthesia is administered. She doesn’t think she can’t do this. It’s a nightmare, spilling into her lungs and suffocating her. She can’t stop dancing. She doesn’t know how to be a full person if she isn’t a dancer.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeUpQjracP
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But then she looks at the black hair spilling over the side of the bed beside her. Megumi-chan is already under, maybe dream of everything she’ll do when she wakes up with a new heart. After all, half a functioning heart is better than a full non-functioning heart.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnlzf8hyAG
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Mai tries to take her sister’s hand, but she can’t reach it.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32bAsKSMv3
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She closes her eyes and opens them a moment later. At least it feels like a moment later. The soreness in her chest says otherwise. She feels in pieces. Her mind is still foggy from the anesthesia but the mental capacity that is still working tries to make sense of the changes she has to make to her life now.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXICXtnyA0V
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Mai feels incomplete already, like she needs to undergo some sort of mental rehab to teach her to be a normal person without being a dancer. She is empty and devoid of purpose, wondering how people adapt to situations that turn their lives around completely.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAKV7eJn8o
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She supposes they do it out of necessity. Mai has made this choice, and although she doesn’t doubt it’s the right one, she has no idea how to come to terms with it.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUtiWG9a58
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The light is too bright when Megumi wakes up. Her eyes mist over, and she has to blink out the tears and let them adjust before taking stock of her surroundings. Oxygen is being fed to her through a mask. Needles thread her arms so she can barely move without tugging at one or another. She lifts her hand to her chest, feeling the uneven skin under her hospital gown. She hears the beep of a heart rate monitor—but just one.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6ht9jAwbQ
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Turning her head as much as she can, Megumi sees Mom right outside the open door. Mom’s face is buried in her hands, shoulders shaking.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6Og7Lxtmh
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Megumi is a bit more alert, her blood going cold. Did something go wrong with Mai?339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwsoGHTaBM
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But she turns her head to the other side, and her sister is on her bed—at Megumi’s side as always. Mai is flipping through magazine sand eating chocolate pudding, but she exclaims when she sees Megumi awake.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAzgWW4892
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“Are you okay? How do you feel?”339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3DKoJJhmX
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Megumi motions tiredly to the oxygen mask on her face. She feels lightheaded and tired, but her new heart feels strong. Even having just half of it feels so much better than her old heart.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DBLUhloZ6
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That’s when she realizes there are two heart monitors after all. It’s just that both of them are beeping perfectly in sync.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJCSSMYesH
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Dr. Aguerra comes in and checks on Megumi, finally taking off the oxygen mask.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGoCrTzbeY
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“We just need to run a few tests,” he says. “We’ll take Mai out first. You just wait here and relax until we come and get you.”339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP39QVeh3df
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He turns on the TV and hands her the remote after helping her sit up. Megumi thought she just wanted to sleep, but once she’s seated, she feels more awake.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDhbDKeGKU
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As they wheel Mai out, Megumi catches sight of her backpack on a chair in the corner of the room. The lace from Mai’s favorite ballet shoes hangs outside the zipper. Swallowing the ache, Megumi turns her gaze back to the TV. She isn’t really paying attention, though. She’s enjoying the feel of her new heart and thinking about everything she loves…and admittedly everything she hates too. To her relief, her new heart responds as it should. She’d still the same person.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbor8oOGLoI
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But then she stops on a channel showing a dance competition. Megumi, who couldn’t even watch her sister’s biggest performance without fidgeting, finds herself riveted by the strangers dancing onscreen. Her pulse quickens, and she lets the remote rest on her lap.339Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtEIWrBcD7
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For some reason she doesn’t quite understand, a tear squeezes out of her eye.copyright protection335ＰＥＮＡＮＡthRdyVRsKp

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