媽子教落！956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3B1Hc2ivCX
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjq7QdykhU
太極，四兩撥千斤———956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5eiU29ADi
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「講你都唔知架喇表叔，不過只係小小無名BAND 1 archi firm姐，反而我想問下令孃讀完anthropology，家陣高就何方，我記得阿婷當初仲好似要俾人term咁濟？」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBLLt24eUC
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有望過下阿婷IG既我知道佢自從去左外國後日日都群埋鬼佬做偽abc，可惜樣同身材都麻麻既佢只係成為鬼佬玩物，仲因為走堂同fuck grade差啲出事。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgSrazDGgA
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「哼，我地自己有搞生意賣衫，仲要生意太好，婷婷家陣特登番黎幫我地手咋！」表叔反駁道。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw7iCZM9rJ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS6VGVBbND
「讀完咁多年書番去賣衫？咁點解唔一開始直接幫手呢？」我強忍笑意。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOENPTXV6c
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「你理得我個女呀，佢鍾意去增長下知識姐，冇話一定要做番個飯呀！反而係明仔你呀，有女朋友喇而家，幾時準備落地生根？」表叔母笑問，有古怪。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpefDJ3dtjz
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSTWEh4QoJ
「我地未有咁快考慮住呢啲野。」我以靜制動、以不變應萬變。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1NQ9ojWfH
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZpsiOhfEm
「岩既，你父母成世人先供得層細樓仔，夠你住呀，定夠佢地住呢？」表叔母居然用出最狠毒既「有冇樓攻擊」，仲要帶埋我父母黎鬧。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinVZpyxQb5
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1NdeEXaew
「邊個話一定要置業！老豆媽子已經俾左足夠好既野我，供我讀書俾飯我食，養到我咁高大威猛、英明神武已經令我好滿足！我以後有需要既野，我會靠自己對手搵番黎，唔係人人都要靠父母架，走佬走到用哂父母儲左一世既錢！」對方用狠手段，我都唔會留手，盡情還擊。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9beSOGJYgW
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ9DLHhkvT
「哼，算！夏蟲不可語冰。你地班港豬咪再屈係呢個蝦毛咁大既地方自己爽，我地出面大把世界。」表姨母自行定結論，完全唔理岩先俾人講中既痛腳。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDVHXBE0HC
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbAEuq1jwd
「我地係香港人又點？呢到係我地屋企黎架，有問題唔係移左民就會自動解決架，許冠杰歌仔都有唱呀！不過你地鍾意做二等公民既話都冇人會反對既，但唔好拉埋哂我地所有人落水！」Tiffany握住我既手反擊道，兩人齊心合力。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHQp9GlO5x
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtLIGB8yU2
係外國既華人地位有時比起黑人仲要低，其實如果唔係個每日個一百五個「來賓」，有邊個香港人想走佬？去到一個全新既地方生活，失去一班可以聯繫既朋友，失去平日既慣常生活？956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDe6GLpAOY
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIwgK74xPl
「岩呀，到底咩心態先會明明係香港出世、成長、結婚、生埋仔，但都仲會日日係到唱淡香港，唱衰自己屋企？點解會有呢種不忠、不孝、不慈既人呢？」我用鋒利既眼光怒視表叔母。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8SA5QnuuR
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkI724j9bE
一切已成定局！956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrIYnTFWy7
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76J6w0HAQN
「呀！！！你個仆街仔，對住長輩都咁冇禮貌，有爹生冇乸教，兩個窮鬼廢柴老豆老母先教到你條咁既食屎狗咋！食屎狗！！！」表叔母疑似俾我笑到面都青還擊唔到，居然直接講哂粗口，仲疑似俾港板分裂三入面既劉馬車上左身咁。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZo6mV7Urw
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956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2a1hVwjSUs
媽子聽到表叔母呢一下low quality既攻擊，終於忍唔住向前踏上一步。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW26ss3jU15
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1epEJWS2h7
我第一次感覺到呢一種氣——956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PJGCtA1tL
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表叔表情好似有啲怕。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7ZZXv6NYX
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKaugzxLZY
「你．．．你想點呀！我．．．我數臭你！」表叔母向後退左一步。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZYJODmeiJ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xiLeZPcp9
「你你你，你咩你！唔洗你數臭我，我自己數臭我自己。我十二歲死老豆，十三歲就輟學打工，十四歲就離家出走，十五歲就同人私定終生，十六歲就已經學識潑婦罵街，當初你老公見著我走都走唔切呀！」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jlliNR5HP
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35cnGhDrl4
媽子居然搞過咁大龍鳳。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZV9HwEony
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrSrRzUITe
「你．．．你！！」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsmmVhcXCH
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPJITjFbez
「你咩你！你人又老，錢又冇，移完民都仲要走佬！」媽子口速點解可以咁快！？956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L57k9oDmJ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqMR9pKyYK
只見媽子打開iphone，佢一早係個screen cap左張圖。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITsWhRzjIU
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956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNZjqINI9C
「知唔知呢啲咩字呀！」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu55PfnvF4u
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDAHu8F1Wq
「功．．．成．．．不必在我！」表叔母照住字讀。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OFWrTE9Wh
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIZJl4mJa7
「錯呀！係你在必不成功呀！失敗呀你！！！」媽子怒嚎一聲，狀若獅子怒吼驚壓四座。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKItppIRRk5
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCHJfB4kSt
「阿，我唔聽呀！」表叔母轉身高舉兩手掩耳。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcN5Ahzi1Ql
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxT3WYuhZaw
「你做人唔精，做鬼唔靈，投胎做個菠蘿丁！」媽子指住佢黎屌。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckoI5PxYVN
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24lE6OmKJ4
「點解呀？」食緊花生既親戚們問道。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflte36au0R
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0iNocnk3e
「起完俾人撇囉～」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt8RousfC6
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKaFxFyj9F
「呀！！！」表叔母狀若瘋癲，就咁飯都唔食跑左出去，而表叔一家都就此敗走，對於呢家不請自來又黑人憎既人，冇人會理佢地，就算舅公一脈既人都冇人想理佢地。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlzoknOk80
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTvph0a1WC
媽子轉身望住我地拍左拍手：「挑，輕鬆！」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZ4Zr8SHZg
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFvDEibVBp
「不愧係當年既撚狗派小龍女．．．」我聽到大舅父細聲講。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepntdIunzz
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFZXQMofUp
撚狗派．．．？956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JhEcjuY0j
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神．．．神鵰俠侶？956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuOissgarC
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「咁邊個係楊過？」我好奇一問。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr0RO8BQiF
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeYTUJ1TZf
「咪你老豆囉，當初你呀爸係臭飛黎架，仲要係好狼死個隻！細細個就同你呀媽私定終生呀嘛。」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlmO8lFUJJ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZvmR6J07o
屌，唔撚係掛？956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiFvikuvxk
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望住平時聲都唔聲既老豆，以往既佢居然會係舊世代死MK。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloZ5l2cH2e
表舅一家敗走之後，大家都樂融融咁樣食飯，好似岩先嘈交既事情根本冇發生過咁。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBEbjPxQH8
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AAYR5f9zJ
用老屎忽們既講法就係——956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqr0Jxpe5t
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8G1zdkG2W
咩大風大浪我未見過？97回歸、金融風暴、沙士我都經歷過哂，家陣呢啲事濕濕碎，記黎把鬼！956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hfaO5fpkq
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYBFQMMZ1e
我地後生仔一枱食住飯咁，今次阿均、阿樂同埋阿茵都讓俾我起筷先，岩先成功擊退左表舅一家既我已經係大家眼中上升一個層次。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfbI4d1UnD
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最少今晚會係咁先。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6GAvjp67a
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而我則覺得岩先如果我仲補多句「敵羞、吾去脫她衣」的話，咁成個畫面會再完美少少。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaadOAfMg84
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hh5VfSUSl
今晚大家圍左係枱前，無分你我對錯，今日中午既唔開心都抹走左佢，Kitty坐左係Tiffany身邊兩人都可以和睦相處。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1EJ3pv01B
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzCsUUZdrw
其實只要Kitty係未來肯放低佢個種自以為是既身段，我相信大家都會接受佢。一家人，有乜隔夜仇先得架，Kitty個種女神心態咪又係俾班兵仔寵出黎，嬲尻佢都冇用架。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhtNTHhoGs
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXfckT65OJ
君不見，伍求耳機被眾屌，鹿欲利是無人罵？956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPA1GjM2IH
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqHOWJkkt0
「喂，拎隻碗黎。」Tiffany突然叫停同阿均聯機轉緊珠既我。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs05eszlZz
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIZjmS9tel
我無視左俾我累死既阿均個對充斥住不滿既視線。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgugSlqQjJ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tk4wYkukr
「做乜呀～？」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEabhNRaixH
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowDXCp6bin
「幫你夾魚囉，成個大細路咁剩係掛住同阿均玩。」Tiffany將魚分好，然後又幫手潷落大家既碗到。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZRF2MaaB3
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIwnRMuAjn
「唔該哂．．．」呢種帝王式既享受，我好似咁大個仔都未試過咁。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvewwwd6F1k
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8iTjtPh4M
「我係你女朋友黎架嘛！食野呀，再轉我就沒收你手機！」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh73D08nOJ1
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXNhkdNEfZ
我乖乖放低手機，一邊食野一邊偷雞咁望住Tiffany，佢成程都係到幫緊大家手分野夾野，可能係平時做慣左手勢，黎到家陣都鍾意serve人。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2C2wWHrQ1
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzS0uDJg7A
「做咩眼甘甘望住我？」Tiffany放低輕輕咬左啖既帶子。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgRNIGyQye
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJusZ3tUInO
俾佢發現左我偷望緊佢！956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDPcM7zuOc
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l3mSEac2b
「冇野．．．咁你係我女朋友，望下你都得掛？」956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eszwdNlAT
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WQJwPfs8T
「盡情望囉你！鍾意望就望夠成世喇你，唔食野餓死你呀！」Tiffany見住我又唔食野，係到笑住扮嬲。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ue6ikW8WU
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbotxU3pzV
「淨係望住．．．你，都望飽我喇。」唔知點解，我會咁口花花，明明以往我對住女仔九成時間都係尻笑同支吾以對，雖然都仲係有啲翹口。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrzeDSMxuR
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B5mGla4z0
對於我呢番言論Tiffany好似扮聽唔到咁繼續食野，但係我見到佢好明顯咁連耳根都紅埋。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquHOCiumlv
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvyWzGeHVW
「屌，食飯喇你！望乜望飽呀！」唔知阿均係對個失去左唔會番黎既五十體仲耿耿於懷，定係不滿我呢種放閃，佢夾左舊大既雞放係我碗到，阻止我繼續同Tiffany甜蜜。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWtJVizuCh
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOXJuwarUA
如果可以一直咁樣落去，你話幾好呢？956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4glC9N2jJ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglBkZETlqI
可惜既係，晚飯既時間都特別快，七點食一食再加埋吹水，原來不知不覺間就已經到左十點半，係時候要散場。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnF8JlwgEnC
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmUzaoUZx1
亦都係我要同Tiffany講再見既時候。956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c66svqLRL
