媽子教落！978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWjuJjeOdW
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太極，四兩撥千斤———978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51ZsGbCuWO
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「講你都唔知架喇表叔，不過只係小小無名BAND 1 archi firm姐，反而我想問下令孃讀完anthropology，家陣高就何方，我記得阿婷當初仲好似要俾人term咁濟？」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucJMpfskRd
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有望過下阿婷IG既我知道佢自從去左外國後日日都群埋鬼佬做偽abc，可惜樣同身材都麻麻既佢只係成為鬼佬玩物，仲因為走堂同fuck grade差啲出事。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyXuloxliT
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「哼，我地自己有搞生意賣衫，仲要生意太好，婷婷家陣特登番黎幫我地手咋！」表叔反駁道。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDmt9WYeqf
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「讀完咁多年書番去賣衫？咁點解唔一開始直接幫手呢？」我強忍笑意。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wYiL6UrOD
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「你理得我個女呀，佢鍾意去增長下知識姐，冇話一定要做番個飯呀！反而係明仔你呀，有女朋友喇而家，幾時準備落地生根？」表叔母笑問，有古怪。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcainykipe6
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「我地未有咁快考慮住呢啲野。」我以靜制動、以不變應萬變。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvQGftgsyH
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「岩既，你父母成世人先供得層細樓仔，夠你住呀，定夠佢地住呢？」表叔母居然用出最狠毒既「有冇樓攻擊」，仲要帶埋我父母黎鬧。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyA2t7HWhV
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「邊個話一定要置業！老豆媽子已經俾左足夠好既野我，供我讀書俾飯我食，養到我咁高大威猛、英明神武已經令我好滿足！我以後有需要既野，我會靠自己對手搵番黎，唔係人人都要靠父母架，走佬走到用哂父母儲左一世既錢！」對方用狠手段，我都唔會留手，盡情還擊。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlqPQG10GY
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「哼，算！夏蟲不可語冰。你地班港豬咪再屈係呢個蝦毛咁大既地方自己爽，我地出面大把世界。」表姨母自行定結論，完全唔理岩先俾人講中既痛腳。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OnzvWzWqS
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「我地係香港人又點？呢到係我地屋企黎架，有問題唔係移左民就會自動解決架，許冠杰歌仔都有唱呀！不過你地鍾意做二等公民既話都冇人會反對既，但唔好拉埋哂我地所有人落水！」Tiffany握住我既手反擊道，兩人齊心合力。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡih11DVYZk5
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係外國既華人地位有時比起黑人仲要低，其實如果唔係個每日個一百五個「來賓」，有邊個香港人想走佬？去到一個全新既地方生活，失去一班可以聯繫既朋友，失去平日既慣常生活？978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzzvbd9Pqy
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「岩呀，到底咩心態先會明明係香港出世、成長、結婚、生埋仔，但都仲會日日係到唱淡香港，唱衰自己屋企？點解會有呢種不忠、不孝、不慈既人呢？」我用鋒利既眼光怒視表叔母。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRRfK9gXu3
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一切已成定局！978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2XeeDAAe3
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「呀！！！你個仆街仔，對住長輩都咁冇禮貌，有爹生冇乸教，兩個窮鬼廢柴老豆老母先教到你條咁既食屎狗咋！食屎狗！！！」表叔母疑似俾我笑到面都青還擊唔到，居然直接講哂粗口，仲疑似俾港板分裂三入面既劉馬車上左身咁。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV5ve4Qi2U
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媽子聽到表叔母呢一下low quality既攻擊，終於忍唔住向前踏上一步。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTw4geEdDy
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我第一次感覺到呢一種氣——978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExFjwgOyY9
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表叔表情好似有啲怕。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuolQB6XIMU
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「你．．．你想點呀！我．．．我數臭你！」表叔母向後退左一步。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqXz44nmGx
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「你你你，你咩你！唔洗你數臭我，我自己數臭我自己。我十二歲死老豆，十三歲就輟學打工，十四歲就離家出走，十五歲就同人私定終生，十六歲就已經學識潑婦罵街，當初你老公見著我走都走唔切呀！」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8znvGBH2z
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媽子居然搞過咁大龍鳳。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyl0m5sa9A1
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「你．．．你！！」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCLk5Wiw4s
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「你咩你！你人又老，錢又冇，移完民都仲要走佬！」媽子口速點解可以咁快！？978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrAzBjZ4Mf
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只見媽子打開iphone，佢一早係個screen cap左張圖。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzp5F5CQIvo
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「知唔知呢啲咩字呀！」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU9kqWk7E0
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「功．．．成．．．不必在我！」表叔母照住字讀。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmW47dtvyQ
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「錯呀！係你在必不成功呀！失敗呀你！！！」媽子怒嚎一聲，狀若獅子怒吼驚壓四座。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR2RO77gZx
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「阿，我唔聽呀！」表叔母轉身高舉兩手掩耳。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWFqfZ3tDS
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「你做人唔精，做鬼唔靈，投胎做個菠蘿丁！」媽子指住佢黎屌。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7YnGoiDcT
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「點解呀？」食緊花生既親戚們問道。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPDWnU4sJv
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「起完俾人撇囉～」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JJDAx2qy4
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「呀！！！」表叔母狀若瘋癲，就咁飯都唔食跑左出去，而表叔一家都就此敗走，對於呢家不請自來又黑人憎既人，冇人會理佢地，就算舅公一脈既人都冇人想理佢地。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VNkKaJONB
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媽子轉身望住我地拍左拍手：「挑，輕鬆！」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRWxvC7obp
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「不愧係當年既撚狗派小龍女．．．」我聽到大舅父細聲講。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqdj1xIni0
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撚狗派．．．？978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrhvgUPuxY
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神．．．神鵰俠侶？978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzowY1ZgH2l
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「咁邊個係楊過？」我好奇一問。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrA8jKwZyVM
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「咪你老豆囉，當初你呀爸係臭飛黎架，仲要係好狼死個隻！細細個就同你呀媽私定終生呀嘛。」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxU2cuhtPO
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屌，唔撚係掛？978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fhOmppQPh
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望住平時聲都唔聲既老豆，以往既佢居然會係舊世代死MK。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJFwIaWIuU
表舅一家敗走之後，大家都樂融融咁樣食飯，好似岩先嘈交既事情根本冇發生過咁。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6EN2US4aD
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用老屎忽們既講法就係——978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdMagrYXlt
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咩大風大浪我未見過？97回歸、金融風暴、沙士我都經歷過哂，家陣呢啲事濕濕碎，記黎把鬼！978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrIFKRS9wY
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我地後生仔一枱食住飯咁，今次阿均、阿樂同埋阿茵都讓俾我起筷先，岩先成功擊退左表舅一家既我已經係大家眼中上升一個層次。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkKxR8OlDz
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最少今晚會係咁先。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HGrnIKHWC
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而我則覺得岩先如果我仲補多句「敵羞、吾去脫她衣」的話，咁成個畫面會再完美少少。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OnrVGtZvX
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今晚大家圍左係枱前，無分你我對錯，今日中午既唔開心都抹走左佢，Kitty坐左係Tiffany身邊兩人都可以和睦相處。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn47mDizZWl
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其實只要Kitty係未來肯放低佢個種自以為是既身段，我相信大家都會接受佢。一家人，有乜隔夜仇先得架，Kitty個種女神心態咪又係俾班兵仔寵出黎，嬲尻佢都冇用架。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T8jHv8bsT
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君不見，伍求耳機被眾屌，鹿欲利是無人罵？978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMZRIL2juC
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「喂，拎隻碗黎。」Tiffany突然叫停同阿均聯機轉緊珠既我。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzR8zalhE9
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我無視左俾我累死既阿均個對充斥住不滿既視線。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw5WjQ6iD8
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「做乜呀～？」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoIe8ZhFno
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「幫你夾魚囉，成個大細路咁剩係掛住同阿均玩。」Tiffany將魚分好，然後又幫手潷落大家既碗到。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSNrUTskma
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「唔該哂．．．」呢種帝王式既享受，我好似咁大個仔都未試過咁。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuKbkouFM5
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「我係你女朋友黎架嘛！食野呀，再轉我就沒收你手機！」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9mAReH9dM
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我乖乖放低手機，一邊食野一邊偷雞咁望住Tiffany，佢成程都係到幫緊大家手分野夾野，可能係平時做慣左手勢，黎到家陣都鍾意serve人。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRbw9oxAAo
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「做咩眼甘甘望住我？」Tiffany放低輕輕咬左啖既帶子。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIRCuUspFp
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俾佢發現左我偷望緊佢！978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOSuBcRxSi
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「冇野．．．咁你係我女朋友，望下你都得掛？」978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhBhGhofal
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「盡情望囉你！鍾意望就望夠成世喇你，唔食野餓死你呀！」Tiffany見住我又唔食野，係到笑住扮嬲。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsJctNxt1s
978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqfZqwDrmx
「淨係望住．．．你，都望飽我喇。」唔知點解，我會咁口花花，明明以往我對住女仔九成時間都係尻笑同支吾以對，雖然都仲係有啲翹口。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToiznASVar
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對於我呢番言論Tiffany好似扮聽唔到咁繼續食野，但係我見到佢好明顯咁連耳根都紅埋。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8arrCJaGq
978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ROiP6w2Dd
「屌，食飯喇你！望乜望飽呀！」唔知阿均係對個失去左唔會番黎既五十體仲耿耿於懷，定係不滿我呢種放閃，佢夾左舊大既雞放係我碗到，阻止我繼續同Tiffany甜蜜。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mpsJoRpTk
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如果可以一直咁樣落去，你話幾好呢？978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5H40UGygd
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可惜既係，晚飯既時間都特別快，七點食一食再加埋吹水，原來不知不覺間就已經到左十點半，係時候要散場。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9MQIPgE2w
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亦都係我要同Tiffany講再見既時候。978Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSqF7Ujj35
