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Crime
Thriller
The Crescent
Co-Writer Fenyx DelSol*
Idea Contributor Zoralth
Beta Reader sasha delphine
2 spaces left
Collaborators
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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The Crescent
The Crescent
Intro

A girl, tormented by war, attempts to escape the excitement of life, only to be haunted by tragic events from her past, an unthinkable guilt, and a killer with an insatiable desire leading to an explosive ending in the Crescent City.


DISCLAIMER: For mature audiences only.  This story may contain violence, sex, explosions, heartbreak, catastrophe, drugs, and at times may compel you to laugh, cry, hug a random stranger, or throw your reading device across the room.  You have been warned.


Recommended Soundtrack:

Prologue:  Fire Down Below
Fire Down Below - Bob Seger
http://youtu.be/eJNxlG-0ZDk

PART I

Chapter 1:  Blue Moon Bay
Blue in Green - Miles Davis
http://youtu.be/PoPL7BExSQU

Chapter 2:  Buried Pleasure
Sixteen - The Heavy
http://youtu.be/yfB_sT3mHHo

Chapter 3:  Three Tears of Absinthe
Tom Sawyer - Rush
http://youtu.be/auLBLk4ibAk

Chapter 4:  Locus Obscura
Heaven on a Half Shell - Jeff Naideau
http://youtu.be/AZo-isDzZow

Chapter 5:  Crescent City Rain
Killing Me Softly - The Fugees
http://youtu.be/69VrOmd7qNc

Chapter 6:  Between the Devil...
Train Ride - Juzzie Smith
http://youtu.be/4J23ysR3jXc

Chapter 7:  ...And the Deep Blue See
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea - XYLO
http://youtu.be/xfaHZXWV0g8

Chapter 8:  Beneath the Underdog
Summer Solstice Blues - Beneath the Underdog
http://youtu.be/36_ZToEfeQQ

PART II

Chapter 9:  Into the Fire (Remy)
Walking on the Sun - Smashmouth
http://youtu.be/LQj--Kjn0z8

Chapter 10:  Into the Dark (AO3 Vincent)
Sail - AWOLNation
http://youtu.be/tgIqecROs5M

Chapter 11:  Seven Steps to Heaven (Wren)
Seven Steps to Heaven - Cassandra Wilson
http://youtu.be/L9KC0yu1lIw

Chapter 12:  TBD (Sage)
The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars
http://youtu.be/8yvGCAvOAfM

Chapter 13:  TBD (Malik)
Soul Serenade - Aretha Franklin
http://youtu.be/gMtgdemz-Lc

Chapter 14:  TBD (Detective Archar)
Way Down We Go - Kaleo
http://youtu.be/0-7IHOXkiV8

Chapter 15:  TBD (Arya)
Kill of the Night (Acoustic) - Gin Wigmore
http://youtu.be/WwZkk3oLmho

Chapter 16:  Prelude to a Kiss (Tori)
Love Child - Mongo
http://youtu.be/pDosYDZoks8

Total Reading Time: 1 hour 52 minutes

4 comments

LexiMeghanChase - I agree with Azaliea here, it's pretty long for an intro, so stopping it at the song lyric and then opening up a prologue would be the best option.
Another thing, check your usage of words. There were a few words that I've never seen before and had to go look up to understand what you meant. Using words like that are great until the reader has to carry a dictionary to figure out what you're saying. One of the words I mean is "irides". Once I looked it up, I understood what you meant, but I think "eyes" would've done just fine. Try avoiding uncommonly used words, it'll help the flow for the reader overall.
Otherwise, I really didn't notice anything glaringly wrong. Your tone and writing style is really nice, by the way. I can't wait to read more! :D
2 years agoreply

Fenyx DelSol - @LexiMeghanChase - Thank you for reading and I agree.  That intro was way too long.  It works much better with the majority of the intro as a prologue in a separate post.  I have it all chopped up correctly now.  As for the unusual words, I kinda like it that people may need to look something up every once in a while.  Makes us smarter in the long run.  Plus, with the way my brain works, I have a problem with repetition.  It bothers me, so I sometimes find other ways to say something so that I do not keep writing the same word over and over again.  I sometimes frustrate myself, but I have to stay at least a little sane right?  Thank you again for reading, I hope you check out more and let me know what you think.
2 years agoreply

Cynderz - Love it so far! Maybe half issue 0 / intro as it's very long. Perhaps stop it after the song quote then make the part afterwards a prologue. Hope that helps:)
2 years agoreply

Fenyx DelSol - @Azaliea - Thank you so much for reading!  A thank you for the idea of cutting the intro into a shorter intro and a separate post for the prologue.  I hope you keep reading and writing!
2 years agoreply

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