Kolt has been strange ever since he picked me up from work. It's not like he has been ignoring me, but he hasn't been contributing to anything that I was saying on the ride home. I wasn't able to talk to him about the interview yet because I wasn't sure if he was paying enough attention for us to have this conversation. All of his sentences were short and no thought behind them. He even replied to me with a grunt.
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A grunt.
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He knows I hate that.
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We pulled into the parking lot at my apartment and I saw my neighbor sitting on the front step. She was probably smoking and talking on her phone again. She is always doing that right when I get off work it seems. She bothers me to no end. I don't even think it has anything to do with her, she just remind me of high school. Back in my senior year I tried smoking and I got really into it. I was always low on money because I bought cigarettes for me and my friends. It was hard for me to keep my grades up because I had to work right after school. I had to leave my last class early sometimes because of it. Even if it was just an art class, ditching out on it made my grade in the class drop.
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I remember calling out of work one day because I couldn't handle it anymore. When I was at school my friends asked me to get more cigarettes and would talk about how they wanted to all move in together instead of going to college. Six people in one apartment? That wasn't for me. So, what did I do? I skipped out on my last class, drove down a few streets, bought a pack of smokes, and sat on the curb outside of the gas station to smoke my cares away.
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That was were I met Kolt. I apparently looked depressed because I saw him double glance at me before he walked into the gas station and when he came back out he stopped to talk to me.
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"You look like you need a drink." I heard him say without looking up at him.
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"I have enough bad habits to start drinking." There was a long pause, but he didn't leave. 436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TWlOJdsbW
"I'm not old enough to drink." He was still standing there.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP81y8f57kd
"Look, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but I told you no-" I looked up and saw he was holding out a Mountain Dew.
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For some reason that one jester was so funny to me at that moment. I started to laugh, then my laugh grew louder and I just couldn't stop. I guess he took that as a welcoming for him to sit down next to me. That laugh made me feel better and I ended up spending the rest of the night talking to him on that curb. He seemed actually interested in my petty high school drama and gave me feedback. I found out that he was 20, only two years older than me. I found out that he actually worked at a gas station himself, but hated small talk so he went to different gas stations when he needed something to avoid talking to his co-workers. He told me that he went to the same High School as I did, but I don't remember ever seeing him there. It was probably because I never took classes with upper classmen. He told me that he had to drop out of school his senior year to work full time because his family wanted to move, but he didn't want to quit his job. He also told me that for a while he had to live in his truck, but it was only for the summer so he used his truck bed for an actual bed. He has his own place now that he shares with a buddy. When I heard what he went through his senior year it made me realize how small my problems were and that the reason I was smoking was unnecessary. That was the day I stopped my smoking habit, I forced myself to cut it cold turkey.
And believe me, that was hard as all hell to do.
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"Ah, it's 7:40, I need to go home to my sister." I said as I drank the last few gulps of the Mountain Dew Kolt gave to me.
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"If you need a ride-"
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"Naw, I drove here." I stood up and waited long enough or him to get up also.
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"Maybe I'll see you here the next time you need a break." Kolt took out his phone and put my name into the name box then handed it over to me.
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I put my number in his phone and handed it back.
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He instantly texted me with a simply smiley face so I could save his number.
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"You will, it's my turn to get the drinks." I smirked at my own joke and got in my car.
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When I got home my dad started to scold me about how I am not living my life the way I should. He did this more than he didn't do it. I got an ear full every time I came home from work or school. He was complaining to me about how I am acting is idiotic and that it is a horrible example for Annaya. He started making lists about how I am a bad role model, throwing the fact that my grades are slipping, how I have horrible habits, how I shouldn't be skipping class, and how I was going to end up just like my mother.
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I don't even know my mother other than pictures. She left the family after I was born. My dad told me that he came home one night and found me crying on the living floor with a note pinned to my pajamas. He told me that my mom wrote that she wasn't ready to start this life and that she was too emotionally unstable to take care of a child. She said that my crying made her believe that she wasn't worth anything. My father told me that after he calmed me down he found out that his work suit case was gone along with his wife and all of her belongings. He didn't bother searching for her.
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Years passed by, and he eventually found another woman that he loved. That was how my sister Annaya was born. I loved Kristy. She was a great step-mom She was an angel. You know all those ideal moms they had in all of the old television shows, the ones that cooked, cleaned, and still managed to raise the kids, well that was her. Sadly enough, she passed away. It happened out of no where. She just died in her sleep. I thought that only happened to the elderly but I truth be told it doesn't. It was hard on Annaya considering she was only seven years old when it happened, but since I was fifteen I already understood what death was and how it happened to everyone.
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There was no way in hell I would end up like my mom, if anything I would be more like Kristy.
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I tried to explain that to my father. I tried to tell him that I understood what he was saying and that I wanted him to hear me out, but he wouldn't listen. He just kept going and complaining about me. 436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWT7xgbTox
I had enough.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJVBBZrKib
"I'm not ditching out like mom did, but I am done with this shit. If I am not good enough for you than I will be good enough for myself." I didn't know if that made sense. I didn't care if it made sense. I got all of myself ready with my dad walking on my heels yelling and scolding me.
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Once I packed enough stuff for a week or two I quickly walked to the door. I turned to talk to my dad, to try to talk things out, but as I turned I turned right into his fist and it caused enough force for me to stumble back. I instantly cupped the part of my face that he hit and locked eyes with him. I saw immediate regret on his face and his eyes turned so sad.
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"I will stop by to watch Annaya, but I can't be around you." And with those last words I walked out and got into my car.
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I just drove.
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I drove for a few hours until I found myself with the phone in my hand calling all my friends. I asked everyone I could think of if I could stay at there place. A few of them said yes, but I couldn't stay with them knowing that they would ask what happened. Those friends I knew would tell the rest of the school.
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I called Kolt.
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He told me where he lived and I stayed with him. His roommate was nice enough to sleep on the pull out couch that they had so I could use his room. I stayed with Kolt until my last month of high school which was when I found this apartment. Over the time I spent living with him and his friend I grew very close to Kolt. He was there for me for everything and he was so smart. He helped me with my classes and my GPA rose high enough for me to get into a good college.
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And that's how Kolt and I began to be.
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That's how Kolt and I ended up here, in front of my apartment. I always get a bit of deja vu of when I first moved into this apartment.
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That was seven years ago.
I got out of the car and walked over to Kolt's window and tapped on the glass.
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Kolt rolled his window down. "Yeah, babe?"
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"Do you want to come in?" 436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx4pZwt8Zj
He was silent.
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"I'll order pizza." I tilted my head trying to look as cute as I possibly could for him to say yes.
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He stared at me for a while coldly and then softened up. "Hawaiian?"
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He was testing me. "...Yeaaah, just don't stare me down when I pick off the pineapple."
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As we got closer to the front door I noticed that it wasn't my neighbor that was sitting on the front step is was my sister Annaya.
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I picked up speed and looked back at Kolt with a confused expression.
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Annaya looked up at me and handed me a note.
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Angela.436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqYbIaoNoS
I can't deal with this. She is your sister and she has always liked you the most between you and I. She doesn't know what's going on. I dropped her off at your apartment before I went to work. She has enough of her stuff to last her. I don't live at the house anymore, everything of mine will be gone in a week. If there is anything that Annaya really wants you should run to the house and get it for her. Please understand.
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And he said I was turning into mom?
"Un-fucking-believable." I crinkled up the paper in my hands and threw it on the ground.
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Annaya looked up at me and then looked over at Kolt.
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Kolt grabbed the note on the ground and opened it up to read it.
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I but could barely see anything. My eyes were filled with tears of frustration and I was getting heat flashes. I could feel the heat rising to my face.
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Kolt grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me in to hold me. "You are startling Annaya."
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I looked over Kolt's shoulder at Annaya who was staring at me with wide eyes and a wrinkled chin. Her lower lip was quivering almost unnoticeable, but I knew what was coming next with that expression. I tried to calm myself down enough for her by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly.
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"What's going on..." Kolt said rubbing my back to try to calm my nerves.
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I yanked myself away from him. "You read the note! You know what's going on! My dad thinks he can just drop my sister off with me because taking care of a mute is 'too hard' for an old man!" I regretted what I just did and I could tell that the look on my face was the same look that my dad had the night I left. I turned away angry at myself for sharing that same facial reaction with my father.
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