Following the directions given by the residents, I walked along the path in the bamboo forest for the whole day and finally reached my destination—a temple made solely out of bamboo. It was even more run-down than expected. I lifted my head up to look at the plaque hung up high at the door, with the words ‘Bamboo Temple’ written on it.
It was a pretty meaningful name.
Just right before I was about to take a step inside, a thin, plainly-dressed middle-aged man opened and stepped out of the door. We exchanged a few glances before blankly staring at each other.
‘Welcome.’ Without even waiting for my answer, the man had already turned round and led me the way.
It was getting darker, so I decided not to dawdle any longer and started looking for clues to save time staying here. ‘Excuse me, mister! May I ask if Miss Wong XX lives here?’
The man stopped in his tracks.
Was my question too abrupt?
The man examined me thoroughly, his face full of doubt, as if he were guessing what relationship I shared with Miss Wong.
‘Someone asked me to hand this letter to Miss Wong.’
‘Miss Wong has left here for quite some time, and it is not known when she will return… Perhaps, it is not even sure whether she will return or not.’
‘Did she mention where she would be going?’
‘I’m afraid not… I shall bring you to the room she once lived in. Perhaps you might find some clues.’
The man began to walk away, yet his steps weren’t as light as before. Instead, they grew as heavy as lead.
Filled with gloom and chilliness, the room was vacant with deathly pale walls and the most basic furniture. There was no sign of vitality.
‘It was quite a shock to meet you at the door.’ The man didn’t enter the room, and instead kept on muttering to himself outside. ‘Once, the Bamboo Temple had a large number of followers. Later on, the two neighbouring towns each built temples that were more spectacular and spacious, which inadvertently drew the followers away. Eventually, fewer monks came to visit the bamboo temple. In the end, the abbot was sent to another temple and was in charge of it according to people’s requests. He assigned me to keep this place clean so as to facilitate visiting tourists. I had always thought that he was overthinking about it, but unexpectedly I met you today.’
‘Maybe The Great Buddha didn’t want me to have a wasted journey.’ There lay a subtext in my words, as to remind him not to forget about the Buddha’s presence. Lying was a big no-no.
‘I can take you to the abbot tomorrow. He has attendance records. Perhaps he may have Miss Wong’s contact details.’ The man was not someone easy to be dealt with as well. He drove me to the wall just by uttering a few simple words. ‘But I truly hope that you will put all your cards on the table. The abbot is a busy man. I do not wish to trouble him with unnecessary matters.’
I had no choice but to tell him the truth.
‘My wife had passed away. Before her death, she hoped that I could spend a year’s time to fulfill her only last wish, which was to hand her letter to Miss Wong, her biological mother who had left home long ago. Years had passed and during which Miss Wong had moved to different places. Every time I tracked down the last place she was at, she had moved long ago. After flitting from place to place , I arrived here at the bamboo temple…’
‘How many more days do you have left?’ The man asked caringly.
‘Three days. The bamboo temple may be my last chance.’ I focused on his expression more closely.
‘Are you not going to consider extending the deadline?’ The man’s expressed concern was surely way more than that of a stranger.
‘She believed in fate. She thought that if Miss Wong still couldn’t be found after all our efforts, then it would mean that they weren’t meant to be and this shouldn’t be forced upon them. She even reminded me to burn her letter if that happens.’
The man seemed to have sunken deep into his thoughts before he said something shocking. ‘If Miss Wong cannot be found after the deadline, may I have a glimpse at the letter?’
‘Certainly not!’ I was sure that the man was hiding something from me.
The awkwardness made him fall silent.
After dinner, the man had some business to attend. Meanwhile, I stayed in a room wailing at a picture of my beloved wife. After doing so, my emotions found relief. Yet, my mind didn’t clear up at all, but instead remained fuzzy.
I left the room to go out for a walk around the temple. As I strolled along the way, I caught a glimpse of the middle-aged man, who was whispering softly to the trees in the garden. I could see the happiness on his face.
I approached him to say hello. He greeted me back with a cheerful smile, an aura of kindness enveloping him. The distance between us during the day was gone. I tried to let my guard down and started to speak from the heart.
Our lively conversation went on, and somehow it ended up with the man’s worries.
‘Greed forces man to cling to good times. Wrath drives man to cleave to bad times. Lust hides truth from man, which stirs up greed and wrath.
I had suffered for so long as I was in the dark. Therefore, I made my way here to ask for guidance. Yet, the abbot thought that my mind was still set on earthly desires, so he asked me to stay here and contemplate.
Though I have been serving the temple for many years, the abbot remains unmoved. I had thought that he was brushing me off. But after our encounter today, I have finally understood that he was not deceiving me at all. Anything or anyone unrelated can easily evoke my longing for my deceased lover.’
I finally understood why the man wasn’t too friendly at first.
I put myself into his shoes. Having lost my wife, anything or anybody would stir up my yearning for my wife. Once, I had held a grudge against the cruel side of reality. Why would it gloat over my loss? Why couldn’t I just escape from reality peacefully? I tried my best to let go of everything. I quit my job. I stopped contacting my family and friends. I had even moved out from our home sweet home. Yet, my dear wife’s last wish was to let me make up for her regrets! There wasn’t a second that I could let her go. Every second I had spent was for her.
The agony was indescribable.
‘How wise of your wife. She set a one-year limit to your pain. As long as you fulfill her wish at all costs, you’ll have no regrets or guilt afterwards. As for me, I am not that lucky as you are. I do not know when I shall stop dragging along this mortal body of mine…’
After saying so, he wished the tree and I a good night, and walked away.
The next day, I went through the entire temple but still I couldn’t find him. The only thing I could find was the map he drew for me in his room. Following the map, I walked most of the day and finally arrived at the temple where the abbot was at.
The abbot listened to my past experiences, and let out a dejected sigh. ‘Miss Wong hasn’t let go of her desires all along.’
Miss Wong had left her family to run off with her lover. Unexpectedly, their shared days of sweet, sweet romance weren’t long. Her lover had died from an acute disease. Greatly crushed by her lover’s death, Miss Wong believed that she had committed sins that were too evil and she had implicated her lover. She came to the bamboo temple, hoping to be enlightened. The abbot thought that she was too overwhelmed and was prone to make wrong decisions. So, he asked her to stay at the temple to reflect on her actions. Unfortunately, she escaped from the temple at the dead of night. By the time Miss Wong revisited the temple, she had already spent all her savings to undergo a makeover and transitional surgery at the black market, and lived as her lover…
‘Is the uncle Miss Wong?’ I couldn’t help but to exclaim.
The shock inside me vanished quickly, replaced by an indescribable sense of conflict. I could neither hate nor forgive this person.
The following day, the abbot and I walked around the temple.
We looked up to see the plaque in front of the temple at the same time.
‘Do you know how the “Bamboo Temple” got its name?’ The abbot asked.
‘Is it referring to the word “wait”?’ My thoughts had returned as they came on my first arrival.
[Note: The Chinese character for ‘wait’ consists of the radical ‘bamboo’ and the word ‘temple’.]
‘The name is merely an objective description of the body of the temple.’ The abbot pointed at the temple completely made out of bamboo. ‘Everyone pays too much attention to their own imagination, and interprets it as too many different meanings. Ultimately, they cannot see the truth in front of them.’
The middle-aged man’s words from the night before appeared in my head all of an instant.
The abbot directly walked through the garden. As he had expected, the sma tree had been uprooted, and there was a hole dug out of the soil beneath it. It was enough to hold a person.
My mind froze, and I immediately understood what that was. The corpse of Miss Wong’s lover had always been kept here all those years ago.
A lump came into my throat and I poured out puddles of tears.
‘Forcing oneself to let go is also a type of fixation.’
The abbot gazed at the blue sky with a sense of indifference, and began to pray for the living and the dead.635Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3JkTwFcsY
