「你今個星期日有沒有時間來我家？」張雅己在訊息裡說。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV2pR5OqRF
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「為什麼？」我吃驚地問。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgchB9aDnt9
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6X7HFSJYs
「不是你說我們要在學校保持距離嗎？我想跟你繼續討論，你不願意的話，要不我到你家去。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIftZjJitk
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「不，不，還是我到你家吧。」我手忙腳亂，不知所措。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoif3aLgaia
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkTKNJADas
「可以帶薛丁格一起嗎？我想看看牠。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuX64Z7lVhn
2008年12月7日星期日，150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkS7p1JhpP
我背著裝住薛丁格的貓背囊，來到張雅己的家門前。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8862t3MsQO
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緊張的按下門鐘，出來應門的是張雅己的母親，她很有禮貌地向我打招呼。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajaaEx01mI
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8ZDxY4POg
「雅己很少帶朋友回家的，特別是男孩子。」她笑咪咪，邀請我進屋，後面傳來張雅己的聲音。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33TDp8wmpt
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq49MqZFMp
「你到了，快些進來吧。」張雅己催促我進去她房間。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJw0lVQ4O8
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWugpZSkODs
「要不要喝果汁？要不要吃零食？雪櫃裡有蛋糕。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAnXXWQ7gf
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DBDeDQYqM
她媽媽繼續在我們身後說著客氣話，直至張雅己用力關上房門。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECcR9LjVT6
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH1bRoYhpo
她房間裡比我想像還要整潔，而且香。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLAP741qi3
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuD3buS1ViV
最重要是我第一次看見張雅己穿便服的樣子。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jmVUgmgIf
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4svs3VMyZ4
我從背囊捧出薛丁格，牠不太熟悉周圍環境，在地板上縮成一團，張雅己抱起牠。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACyWk75Afa
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTFn3Zndc1
「為什麼你主人會改你叫薛丁格這種古怪名字，他到底在想什麼。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04lQXwp3Uc
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMySAgX4vLn
她用比平時更可愛，像小朋友的說話方式，對著牠說。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefCmD702ap
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmW9kHRWHg
「牠好像比我第一次見牠時健康了。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3sEHJg5X7
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WAjcKlJKf
「還胖了很多，我父母每天也買貴價貓糧給牠，快要寵壞牠。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVVUbljMtI
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WKqms3uPS
「真好，我很羨慕你有幸福的家庭。」她說。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSytETjoqoC
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyon7UOTq7H
我腦裡閃過在警署時，她母親那哀傷的神情。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kPGg3MQLg
薛丁格掙扎著從她手中逃開了。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxGVGQUQUz
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J15X6EpeG
她不知哪裡找來一個貓玩具，高大的她趴在地上，一直逗著薛丁格玩。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznQDnIW3vF
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLWScs3Xdt
「我把之前說的那套電影帶了過來，或者有參考的地方，你有dvd播放器嗎？」我問。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBi7YKmRvO
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuZq8j7Jtq
「可以用電腦。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwSvu7Ifop
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvnXjlWqtY
我們坐在地板上，靠著她的床，電腦螢幕很細，我們必須擠在一起看，肩碰肩。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ehyRkZv8H
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IkRrqrFSq
若撇除了我坐在這裡的原因，是為調查她是誰的幻想，還有她是個自殺了5次還死不去的女生，我們現在這個模樣，不過是兩個平常少年少女坐在一起看電影然而。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImQxCZHBRb
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqSdYwwnsq
薛丁格走過來鑽進她膀胳，她溫柔的抱牠入懷，在牠脖子的毛皮上親吻。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9MXu4jWSs
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJK10tyaux
我想她的吻該是甜蜜又溫暖。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNueGDo4ZO
「沒有人希望自己死去，不幸地我們都難逃一劫。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQwSglQFZL
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG7x8ZMfY6
「終有一天，你會死。可能在銀行心臟病發、可能被薄荷珠嗆死、或者在你度假時罹患不治之症。你會死，你必定會死，即使你逃避了這次，也有其他原因導致你的死亡，而且我可以保證不會像她寫的那樣有詩意和充滿意義。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzsYgQa6uR
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Zd2Yc3IQX
戲中其中一個角色對男主角說。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxn8nOpidM
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOgCyG0rcJ
我偷望身邊的她，她看得入神，我看到她眼紅紅鼻子也紅紅，一顆眼淚隨她眼睛輕眨，滑落到她的面頰。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnQom64Tae
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwK9LtrmEbU
我不敢哼出半點聲音，不自覺減輕呼吸，假裝沒有發現她在哭。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEALIKDAQxz
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanxPNIpVd8
電影完結，她立刻站起來背著我，我知道她正用手擦拭眼淚。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpNUrhrjHc
「電影很好看。」張雅己咽哽著。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRT39pqNit
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxsnMQnv5M
「嗯，但好像沒有什麼值得參考的地方。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhc5gSQCQrg
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfIl0wxmEX
我看著她的背影，終於按奈不住，鼓起勇氣問我一直想知道的問題。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerWkafJnxq
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Sw86hwYDZ
「你可以告訴我你自殺的理由嗎？」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjXPno2kyD
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvP1vesCPC
她沒有回答，依然站在原地背向著我，我聽到她因為哭過，急促的氣喘聲。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUyxntl3C6
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVf89RFZhM
「我不想說。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡme4U5MO5JU
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoa2F6hpIw
「可能是其中一個線索⋯⋯」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqza1lcsuT6
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32lyVksozS
「我不想說。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O7XtI4jZy
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvlbHoih7t
「可能對事情會有幫肋⋯⋯」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoazGY6QUcn
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cjVo3OpIq
「我說了我不想說！」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvVtqeW0pO
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH1YVAknuj
我第一次聽到張雅己這麼大聲說話，房間裡像迴盪住她的聲音。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsMBGxRacH
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8H0cg4bjXu
薛丁格嚇壞了，躲在我腳邊，我抱起牠，把牠放進貓背囊。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0a9lSWRLm1
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFsLTUPQa2
「對不起，我想我該離開了。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6jN7KAH0C
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApSwRDAao9
我轉身開門離去，張雅己也沒有回頭，我看到她的背影在微微顫抖。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybaqJAL9FA
張雅己的媽媽在門外聽到她大聲說話，以為我們吵架。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6y7J5ypMJh
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YOgy5MgOA
「對不起。」她不知為何，跟我道歉起上來。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwGhNG9gBK
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkYDx3glCs
「不，是我不好。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGbVnuEqqw
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDEUStftcm
「她小時候，是一個很乖很親切的小孩。自從她爸爸過世後，我就不太懂她在想什麼。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVHBJp5nZz
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyzXbPm70l
她看著客廳牆上的照片說。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaHSiL2jr5
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NXgB4Oiku
「如果她爸爸還在這裡就好。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBvfvCU7vi
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6ULa9kjxl
我走近，想看看張雅己的爸爸。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvrKZMDDZC
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K8uidhIlQ
那是一張家庭合照，她媽媽年輕時更像張雅己。她抱住還是嬰兒的張雅己，坐在沙發上，旁邊站了一個高大的男人，應是她爸爸。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEcVVOinDD
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVua6JHZNV
「不好意思，我可以問張雅己的爸爸是何時過生嗎？」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8Slf4G642
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXXLtpUoag
「嗯，是張雅己4歲的時候。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wy0TQ2TTW
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tl4E4gRME
家庭合照的右上方，貼了另一張照片，大概是她爸爸年輕時跟朋友登山的合照。照片中有4人，前排是兩個女生跪在地上，高大的張雅己爸爸則站在後面，親蜜地用手搭著身邊另一個男人的肩膀。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgifglHQh3T
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBsHHAKcbA
「這張照片是？」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTkTG4SA76
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23xqFmcMVL
「那是她爸爸大學時期參加登山社拍的，我們當時還未認識對方。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KKex7jUhg
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdUFfE42Qy
我總覺得她爸爸身邊的那個男人很眼熟，好像在哪裡見過他。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRufk5MT7L
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4nDLwgZ6H
這時候，廚房的水壺響起來。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUtcDBmzEW
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47Fe4oDY1C
我趁著張雅己媽媽跑到廚房關火，趕快用手機拍下家庭合照和那張登山照，然後匆匆離開了。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdzESy4Vj2
「對不起，我不應該發脾氣⋯⋯」她訊息裡說。150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nhZx8nXyt
150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXxXZJUDvj
「不，是我不對，我明白你不想說，我不應該追問。」150Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0g46hnvODs
我回覆。
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