「你今個星期日有沒有時間來我家?」張雅己在訊息裡說。91Please respect copyright.PENANAMcenRkLFek
91Please respect copyright.PENANAbh2fLtUF6x
「為什麼?」我吃驚地問。91Please respect copyright.PENANANONwWeUeKp
91Please respect copyright.PENANADJsOAb4wBp
「不是你說我們要在學校保持距離嗎?我想跟你繼續討論,你不願意的話,要不我到你家去。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAdCj4c5Oq5L
91Please respect copyright.PENANAWzIRSUJkyI
「不,不,還是我到你家吧。」我手忙腳亂,不知所措。91Please respect copyright.PENANAJf8WfqQNTF
91Please respect copyright.PENANAxzEMf7Daku
「可以帶薛丁格一起嗎?我想看看牠。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAdMce98FA89
2008年12月7日星期日,91Please respect copyright.PENANADsTWPFEbrs
我背著裝住薛丁格的貓背囊,來到張雅己的家門前。91Please respect copyright.PENANAAnJLhuiICQ
91Please respect copyright.PENANAcnJN31ta7P
緊張的按下門鐘,出來應門的是張雅己的母親,她很有禮貌地向我打招呼。91Please respect copyright.PENANAxSfIM7ONX2
91Please respect copyright.PENANAIxdiXxPO1R
「雅己很少帶朋友回家的,特別是男孩子。」她笑咪咪,邀請我進屋,後面傳來張雅己的聲音。91Please respect copyright.PENANAoIBZf6D1CJ
91Please respect copyright.PENANAcMel4zccGM
「你到了,快些進來吧。」張雅己催促我進去她房間。91Please respect copyright.PENANAYRNH3YbWY3
91Please respect copyright.PENANAtp5nfEHVbr
「要不要喝果汁?要不要吃零食?雪櫃裡有蛋糕。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAL9skErRsLv
91Please respect copyright.PENANASEDZ81cgMf
她媽媽繼續在我們身後說著客氣話,直至張雅己用力關上房門。91Please respect copyright.PENANAwOXJebI45q
91Please respect copyright.PENANAYEEoif4DrX
她房間裡比我想像還要整潔,而且香。91Please respect copyright.PENANA0idMr2eDM1
91Please respect copyright.PENANAWatQ4dQcnO
最重要是我第一次看見張雅己穿便服的樣子。91Please respect copyright.PENANAncjeW4b7VZ
91Please respect copyright.PENANAZgOnbrLG6x
我從背囊捧出薛丁格,牠不太熟悉周圍環境,在地板上縮成一團,張雅己抱起牠。91Please respect copyright.PENANAaWoAnREvHS
91Please respect copyright.PENANAE1WqjwNqk3
「為什麼你主人會改你叫薛丁格這種古怪名字,他到底在想什麼。」91Please respect copyright.PENANA9e5B10MjeT
91Please respect copyright.PENANALxgfe0HHvk
她用比平時更可愛,像小朋友的說話方式,對著牠說。91Please respect copyright.PENANATgfm73AuVx
91Please respect copyright.PENANAPU4ATqkeiJ
「牠好像比我第一次見牠時健康了。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAkaSOHyQ5c9
91Please respect copyright.PENANAd0MqJioCfK
「還胖了很多,我父母每天也買貴價貓糧給牠,快要寵壞牠。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAfqcJkrXOKY
91Please respect copyright.PENANApL4Ls6rbQ4
「真好,我很羨慕你有幸福的家庭。」她說。91Please respect copyright.PENANAnf62cfCzqc
91Please respect copyright.PENANAfbZ2LOaHeA
我腦裡閃過在警署時,她母親那哀傷的神情。91Please respect copyright.PENANA1qCwG5g4yn
薛丁格掙扎著從她手中逃開了。91Please respect copyright.PENANAl5MSEi9ZR0
91Please respect copyright.PENANAtaLD9lGB1Z
她不知哪裡找來一個貓玩具,高大的她趴在地上,一直逗著薛丁格玩。91Please respect copyright.PENANAVYq998jLpO
91Please respect copyright.PENANAwcsllDafm2
「我把之前說的那套電影帶了過來,或者有參考的地方,你有dvd播放器嗎?」我問。91Please respect copyright.PENANAoz8g61GBQC
91Please respect copyright.PENANAAQxZc9EOTL
「可以用電腦。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAJeZLxc7X2J
91Please respect copyright.PENANA0g7TQ2faqw
我們坐在地板上,靠著她的床,電腦螢幕很細,我們必須擠在一起看,肩碰肩。91Please respect copyright.PENANAM1NM0G4brk
91Please respect copyright.PENANAK2MYVJgc6z
若撇除了我坐在這裡的原因,是為調查她是誰的幻想,還有她是個自殺了5次還死不去的女生,我們現在這個模樣,不過是兩個平常少年少女坐在一起看電影然而。91Please respect copyright.PENANA8nnu6aJEJa
91Please respect copyright.PENANAo4H9XRscrk
薛丁格走過來鑽進她膀胳,她溫柔的抱牠入懷,在牠脖子的毛皮上親吻。91Please respect copyright.PENANAEpTLVb7M0O
91Please respect copyright.PENANAOAs1YBfplN
我想她的吻該是甜蜜又溫暖。91Please respect copyright.PENANAs7gzqQHNVI
「沒有人希望自己死去,不幸地我們都難逃一劫。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAI54wAe5fJZ
91Please respect copyright.PENANALs8ULwKJIh
「終有一天,你會死。可能在銀行心臟病發、可能被薄荷珠嗆死、或者在你度假時罹患不治之症。你會死,你必定會死,即使你逃避了這次,也有其他原因導致你的死亡,而且我可以保證不會像她寫的那樣有詩意和充滿意義。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAPLyIYN4yiu
91Please respect copyright.PENANAZzmGtBloEf
戲中其中一個角色對男主角說。91Please respect copyright.PENANAwqnKDYD41X
91Please respect copyright.PENANAhtutpTnPx0
我偷望身邊的她,她看得入神,我看到她眼紅紅鼻子也紅紅,一顆眼淚隨她眼睛輕眨,滑落到她的面頰。91Please respect copyright.PENANAD7u6wKzJ4I
91Please respect copyright.PENANArCMLuZMjBx
我不敢哼出半點聲音,不自覺減輕呼吸,假裝沒有發現她在哭。91Please respect copyright.PENANA1GBVQD0bYl
91Please respect copyright.PENANAVczPdVFcsU
電影完結,她立刻站起來背著我,我知道她正用手擦拭眼淚。91Please respect copyright.PENANAMzmQbqzvq1
「電影很好看。」張雅己咽哽著。91Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5NEPR50ch
91Please respect copyright.PENANA8zYiSqZujg
「嗯,但好像沒有什麼值得參考的地方。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAg5S4PxecXq
91Please respect copyright.PENANAutmiREtYB8
我看著她的背影,終於按奈不住,鼓起勇氣問我一直想知道的問題。91Please respect copyright.PENANAJq5ljMFP0T
91Please respect copyright.PENANAuo2N16OTFj
「你可以告訴我你自殺的理由嗎?」91Please respect copyright.PENANAe5oqGvNF0r
91Please respect copyright.PENANAQHTQabnU7o
她沒有回答,依然站在原地背向著我,我聽到她因為哭過,急促的氣喘聲。91Please respect copyright.PENANAxZO7HqMNPh
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「我不想說。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAIYFBR4ivhQ
91Please respect copyright.PENANA8XNstTjMfE
「可能是其中一個線索⋯⋯」91Please respect copyright.PENANAsL8xHsqRIR
91Please respect copyright.PENANADyAs0FDdZD
「我不想說。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAwtwrZWSHvh
91Please respect copyright.PENANAKXGFHte8gA
「可能對事情會有幫肋⋯⋯」91Please respect copyright.PENANAYJLe9gMgrE
91Please respect copyright.PENANA9h4cMzV8r5
「我說了我不想說!」91Please respect copyright.PENANA4tFGwQVhp6
91Please respect copyright.PENANAO45ceR3IT8
我第一次聽到張雅己這麼大聲說話,房間裡像迴盪住她的聲音。91Please respect copyright.PENANA0EnhveXjPy
91Please respect copyright.PENANAK0BBmk8GkA
薛丁格嚇壞了,躲在我腳邊,我抱起牠,把牠放進貓背囊。91Please respect copyright.PENANAQMXHN5wKKx
91Please respect copyright.PENANA8FUgf8eFHy
「對不起,我想我該離開了。」91Please respect copyright.PENANA6AS7IpnucO
91Please respect copyright.PENANAhaizSpvcAX
我轉身開門離去,張雅己也沒有回頭,我看到她的背影在微微顫抖。91Please respect copyright.PENANAJFZRyA1o3w
張雅己的媽媽在門外聽到她大聲說話,以為我們吵架。91Please respect copyright.PENANA5845bTMdnE
91Please respect copyright.PENANAQiDAxRmLEE
「對不起。」她不知為何,跟我道歉起上來。91Please respect copyright.PENANA5Rigm9es0h
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「不,是我不好。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAcRzu5mK3IU
91Please respect copyright.PENANAS8UyHeORMo
「她小時候,是一個很乖很親切的小孩。自從她爸爸過世後,我就不太懂她在想什麼。」91Please respect copyright.PENANA52LCYFuVm9
91Please respect copyright.PENANAJuvnpra3cV
她看著客廳牆上的照片說。91Please respect copyright.PENANAXYQnJZmEGp
91Please respect copyright.PENANAQXPaWobegI
「如果她爸爸還在這裡就好。」91Please respect copyright.PENANABvuRfVK6VN
91Please respect copyright.PENANAcuOV3pUfHR
我走近,想看看張雅己的爸爸。91Please respect copyright.PENANAUA0NKMjc55
91Please respect copyright.PENANAW1boV1zyVZ
那是一張家庭合照,她媽媽年輕時更像張雅己。她抱住還是嬰兒的張雅己,坐在沙發上,旁邊站了一個高大的男人,應是她爸爸。91Please respect copyright.PENANAR5hX66dckV
91Please respect copyright.PENANAmhFOyv6QJ1
「不好意思,我可以問張雅己的爸爸是何時過生嗎?」91Please respect copyright.PENANAfcqijoDFfe
91Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4ryl3vwRu
「嗯,是張雅己4歲的時候。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAZFONrazUWl
91Please respect copyright.PENANAGe369CM37w
家庭合照的右上方,貼了另一張照片,大概是她爸爸年輕時跟朋友登山的合照。照片中有4人,前排是兩個女生跪在地上,高大的張雅己爸爸則站在後面,親蜜地用手搭著身邊另一個男人的肩膀。91Please respect copyright.PENANAQdoJuh55HM
91Please respect copyright.PENANA9hgaGhR86u
「這張照片是?」91Please respect copyright.PENANA82rEOL6ZVk
91Please respect copyright.PENANAPRCk2VetS1
「那是她爸爸大學時期參加登山社拍的,我們當時還未認識對方。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAeqWb8XGDDr
91Please respect copyright.PENANABcgy5emX4H
我總覺得她爸爸身邊的那個男人很眼熟,好像在哪裡見過他。91Please respect copyright.PENANAnWhDlDsgA9
91Please respect copyright.PENANAdFx7l1K1TB
這時候,廚房的水壺響起來。91Please respect copyright.PENANAg70Gbe9d4H
91Please respect copyright.PENANAOSA68xSX04
我趁著張雅己媽媽跑到廚房關火,趕快用手機拍下家庭合照和那張登山照,然後匆匆離開了。91Please respect copyright.PENANA7EODRBH2w8
「對不起,我不應該發脾氣⋯⋯」她訊息裡說。91Please respect copyright.PENANA8nr1OYDWUS
91Please respect copyright.PENANAqvWo068x1m
「不,是我不對,我明白你不想說,我不應該追問。」91Please respect copyright.PENANA4uWjCJWjCH
我回覆。
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