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Humor
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Completed
Welcome to the show
Writer Createology
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
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Welcome to the show
6 Bookmarks
A - A - A
Intro 1 3 4 5 6 7 8
#2
SCENE 2
Createology
Comments ( 5 )
Monos D.O.A - This is an interesting chapter and I like how we got to see more characters and interaction. Sometimes I was confused on where the characters are. I think that stating when there's a scene change can help. Sometimes their diction cut into the story's flow. I think that's because I didn't always know how they were acting. Adding emotion descriptions at some points can help, or reviewing the dialogue.
I also learned some biblical phrases. I wonder if those phrases will have an impact on the story.
1 year agoreply

Byargus - Wowwww I totally agree with John. I think I like Craig.
2 years agoreply

Flow - Overall a great chapter 

my only problem with it is that most people would not immediately calm down and apologize like that after a temper tantrum, so you might want to put begrudgingly or something alike. As Someone who gets heated easily I know that you'll still be fuming a bit afterwards
2 years agoreply

Min-T-SugaR - Craig mah boy... Why the *Heck* would you do that to the manager?
2 years agoreply

Kokiri-Hylian-Hero - Oh, wow, Craig...is definitely not as chill as Jerald P and Zachary.
2 years agoreply

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