A self-portrait. Painting a self-portrait. I wish and I wish and I wish and then he appears. It's one of the only times he comes around without her.
I know I hurt you. He says. I know it hurts you when I'm with her.390Please respect copyright.PENANAXLx8fTBV1C
I glide the brush smoothly against the canvas.390Please respect copyright.PENANANRUZzb3USM
He continues to talk. I didn't want to leave you. You know I didn't. But people change, and... and I don't understand it. I don't want to hurt you. I loved you.390Please respect copyright.PENANAJDwPWrKa0h
I don't turn to face him. I guess the key word is loved then, isn't it? If you're going to just say "sorry for the pain, I loved you, but not anymore so hope you have a good life" then there's the door. I point my finger towards the hall, but unfortunately he doesn't take my advice.390Please respect copyright.PENANAxSkYuRLQpF
He sits down on the chair beside me that is used for observers and teachers. Not him, I thought. 390Please respect copyright.PENANAhIXTXkpBY9
Let me make it up to you, he says, what do you want me to do? I'll do anything. Do you want a proper goodbye? I can give you that.390Please respect copyright.PENANAfj1sone86D
He leans closer to me to see my painting, and I finally turn to look at him. He flinches when we make eye contact, and I don't realize how much hurt he can see in my eyes. How puffy and pink they must be.390Please respect copyright.PENANAMrTJNWmJfY
I want you. I want you and you and only you. Not her. I don't want her in the picture. I only want you, I only want you, just you and you and only you. You can give me a proper goodbye now? Why not before when you actually had to say it?390Please respect copyright.PENANASCyG5dxWMI
I turn back to the painting. I'm not gliding the brush anymore. I realize that it's hanging limp in my hand. I can feel a wet drop slide down my cheek, and immediately try to hide my face.390Please respect copyright.PENANAlsDLl49mpZ
After a pause, he begins to talk again. Although, now his voice sounds croaky, as if he is in pain himself.
What are you making? Is that you?390Please respect copyright.PENANAzMiiPsSaTG
I throw my brush across the room, and glare at him with a mix of anger and complete sadness and before I can stalk out of the room, I stand out of my chair and say, You want to know what I'm making? You really want to know what I'm making? Fine! Yes, that is me! You're Blue. She's Glitter. And I'm Fuchsia. Isn't that right? You left Blue on every single part of me! You left you everywhere! But that's the thing, isn't it? You took every part of me with you, even my dying heart, but you never kissed me once. Did you, Romeo? So at least I get to keep that one piece for myself!390Please respect copyright.PENANAhgzEvXskQo
But, to my surprise, he pulls my arm and sits me back down in the chair. He grabs the brush that I threw, and starts to paint on my canvas. I can't say anything. I'm frozen. He paints blue over my lips in the painting, which turns them a strange Purple. He turns back to me, and I give him a confused look. But it's all I can manage before he pulls me in by the waist and pushes his lips against mine.390Please respect copyright.PENANAxNvPv0oJc4
When we pull away, he says Purple is for the both of us.390Please respect copyright.PENANAwr9ODDGtEp
I gasp, What about her?
He smiles, Well there's no Glitter in the picture, now is there?390Please respect copyright.PENANAFqOAeqM9Rv