21Please respect copyright.PENANAWRrwoinMub
▌類型 短文21Please respect copyright.PENANAeejuH5VcyW
▌作者 氦氣
▌第3篇
21Please respect copyright.PENANAN8J0ApFpZj
末篇,以年邁的疾病纏身刻畫出女孩的不離不棄,更是難得可貴看出,通篇都是女孩無謂犧牲的偉大辛勞。21Please respect copyright.PENANA5F5niivsGZ
21Please respect copyright.PENANA80CLkewAum
冬戀湖的廟神,將兩人緣分再次相繫相聯,雖牽起了忘記了自己的那名男人的手,卻仍堅定自己的內心的想法。以冬,再次畫下落幕。21Please respect copyright.PENANAKYcJwL8pyG
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21Please respect copyright.PENANAuhmycPgyAq
點評至此處,實在不忍想碎嘴一番。那男孩,丟下一句拋棄人家,然後一場大病要女孩照顧終生,這更多的是惡劣龍傲天男主嗎🤧21Please respect copyright.PENANAnkGt4jXTgH
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21Please respect copyright.PENANArb6RWvBfcz
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另外就是有幾點建議:21Please respect copyright.PENANATmpuxa4G66
21Please respect copyright.PENANAfQ0IWQZOTg
1.三篇區分,上、中、下,建議別分成第三人稱、第一人稱混用寫文,容易造成讀者混亂。21Please respect copyright.PENANAKjYo1T3HCD
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(對!!那個讀者正是我!!)21Please respect copyright.PENANAantLq0GK76
21Please respect copyright.PENANAnkKtlpu6S7
2.形容某個特定的景物時候,冗字稍多,仍有改進空間,有時候這部分是需要一些適當的點綴即可的,因為你故事的主角不是它們。21Please respect copyright.PENANALRxI8E0cnT
21Please respect copyright.PENANATObDbxSIIg
3.女主角的思維可以再更細膩些,如多上一些自己的小脾氣等等,畢竟,上中下篇以三篇為起承轉合,應當可以更好發揮。21Please respect copyright.PENANALSv7djj7eY
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以上。