15Please respect copyright.PENANAIA8m0jmsIv
▌類型 短文15Please respect copyright.PENANAX0RNyRbjgo
▌作者 氦氣
▌第3篇
15Please respect copyright.PENANAvkdzbtSs5M
末篇,以年邁的疾病纏身刻畫出女孩的不離不棄,更是難得可貴看出,通篇都是女孩無謂犧牲的偉大辛勞。15Please respect copyright.PENANAlpe56TfLeF
15Please respect copyright.PENANAAUbTUFhmCj
冬戀湖的廟神,將兩人緣分再次相繫相聯,雖牽起了忘記了自己的那名男人的手,卻仍堅定自己的內心的想法。以冬,再次畫下落幕。15Please respect copyright.PENANARMLfbSqNqF
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點評至此處,實在不忍想碎嘴一番。那男孩,丟下一句拋棄人家,然後一場大病要女孩照顧終生,這更多的是惡劣龍傲天男主嗎🤧15Please respect copyright.PENANAWEBB32QRF5
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另外就是有幾點建議:15Please respect copyright.PENANA4Q2nsh072m
15Please respect copyright.PENANAida88MXn1L
1.三篇區分,上、中、下,建議別分成第三人稱、第一人稱混用寫文,容易造成讀者混亂。15Please respect copyright.PENANAIPzE99DU5l
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(對!!那個讀者正是我!!)15Please respect copyright.PENANAFZn9SgxRYB
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2.形容某個特定的景物時候,冗字稍多,仍有改進空間,有時候這部分是需要一些適當的點綴即可的,因為你故事的主角不是它們。15Please respect copyright.PENANA6RJjgYZKHi
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3.女主角的思維可以再更細膩些,如多上一些自己的小脾氣等等,畢竟,上中下篇以三篇為起承轉合,應當可以更好發揮。15Please respect copyright.PENANACa8r5y5p1z
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以上。