At the Guild in Ourelona, Nozomu and Taisetsuna were serving cups of ale and plates of food to the Adventurers and common folk that went there for dinner when Koyaga arrived.
She immediately went to the reception desk to help Taisetsuna, and when Nozomu came from the kitchen with more plates of food, he noticed her smile.
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He approached and asked in a low voice. “You seem to be in an excellent mood. Everything worked out between you and the Princess?”
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Koyaga nodded, and she then made a worried face. “Yeah… but you may not like the outcome. We need to talk later.”
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Nozomu gently squeezed her right hand as he spoke. “As long as everything goes well for you, I will like it. I can suffer for a while, but I will get over it, eventually, don’t worry.”
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Koyaga made a slight smile and went to fill more cups, with Taisetsuna glancing at her and wondering what they were whispering about.
…
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After closing the main door, Taisetsuna went to the stairs and bit her lower lip when she saw Nozomu seated at a table and Koyaga joining him with two cups of tea. For a moment, she hesitated, thinking that Nozomu looked sad, and she could cheer him up, but Koyaga signalled her to go up, so she did.
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Nozomu asked in a low voice when Koyaga sat in front of him. “What’s the matter? If you talked with her, why did you say I might not like the outcome?”
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“Well… You kind of said that you liked Mere last night, and the way your eyes shone when you said that led me to believe that you were in love. The problem is that I still love her… and it seems she still loves me. I cried last night after you left, because not only I could not forget Mere for all these years, but I also lost you to her. I thought I could be with you, and having you refusing me, was a kind of unexpected blow. But today I went to meet her… and… well…”
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Nozomu blew the tea on his cup and said, “You both still love each other, and I lost both of you. I can’t say I wasn’t expecting that after our talk, but I kind of hoped she would choose me. It also means her idea of waiting for me for three years went down the drain. I am not sure where that leaves me, but I am happy for you and her. You both deserve to be happy.”
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“Thanks, I guess, and I am sorry. It would probably be better if she told you this, but she couldn’t leave her Castle to talk to you, and calling you to go meet her after being there yesterday would be problematic for her, so she asked me to talk to you and ask you one thing.”
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“What? That I keep my mouth shut? As if I would ever say a word about her, me, and you to anyone!”
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Koyaga took a sip of her tea to gather her courage and, after a slow deep breath, explained. “Actually, she still wants you as her consort, to fool the Nobles and everyone that she is with you, while she is with me in secret. The problem is, she must have an heir, because the country needs a ruler, and I can’t give her that. But you can.”
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Nozomu jolted. “Are you… asking what I think you are asking? Because that is extremely weird! You both talked about this? Seriously?”
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“Yes, we did. She also thought you would refuse, but I don’t think you will. I kind of know you, Nozomu. Or at least, I like to think that. You won’t lose anything if you accept, and you will gain a lot. In fact, it wouldn’t be weird or unheard of, if you were Mere’s consort, and you had a concubine, one that you truly loved. You would be with Mere on official events and give her a child and an heir to the Throne, and you could have another family in your manor, away from the Castle and the court intrigues.”
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“I kind of understand your point. I have read about some strange situations that made alliances, like marrying fourteen-year-old Princesses with thirty-year-old Kings, but I don’t think I ever read about a case like this. You and her… are both okay with this? I mean, it’s kind of difficult for me to accept being used as a breeding horse, even more so after losing her to you. It’s just… I don’t know what to answer. Can’t she ask someone else to… you know…”
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Koyaga held his hands and leaned over the table and looked deeply into his eyes. “Neither she nor me, know anyone else we would trust with this. I know you won’t ever tell any of this to anyone, not even Taisetsuna. That is why I told you what I talked about with Mere. I understand if you refuse because she also told me you became interested in her because she reminds you of a woman in your other life.”
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“She told you that, huh? I guess... Yeah, I understand why she told you.”
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Nozomu went silent, taking sips of his tea, lost in deep thoughts. Koyaga stayed at the table, drinking her tea and waiting. She sighed while looking at the tea leaves in the teapot, as she was pouring more tea for herself. Getting such news was definitely a tremendous blow to Nozomu, but he seemed to think about all she said, and so she waited in silence.
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After finishing his tea, he asked while looking at the empty cup in front of him. “What would you do if I refuse? And her? Will you two be able to be together without me to fool everyone?”
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“We won’t. We will be apart like we have been all these years, but this time, it will be even more difficult because we both now know we won’t ever be able to forget the other, and we will be miserable forever. I am not saying this to force you or anything, but this is what will most certainly happen.”
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“Will any of you want to be with me for an occasional ‘yuuu’, or would it only be until Mere gets pregnant? Because I don’t like the idea of a tree-couple, and it would also be a scandal.”
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Koyaga vigorously shook her head. “No, we also talked about that, and neither of us wants it. Mostly, because it wouldn’t be fair to you. We are already asking too much from you. It wouldn’t be right to make you believe you could be with us both when we only have eyes for each other. I won’t deny that I liked to be with you, and it seems Mere also had a great time, but that was before we both found out that our love for each other is as strong as it was years ago. Probably more, because we are older, and now we know how painful it is to be apart.”
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“I think I understand. I need some time to think about this. This is not something I can decide right now. If I accept, there is just one thing that I want. I want to be involved in all decisions concerning the child, and I want him or her to grow up with me around. When the kid is older, we will explain our arrangement.”
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“That is not even an issue. Of course, you will be around, because you will be the kid’s father. I would be like an aunt, I suppose.
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Nozomu made a bitter smile and took the last sip of his tea before getting up. “This wasn’t the outcome I was expecting yesterday, but if you and she are happy, it’s good enough for me.”
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“You… look sad, Nozomu. I am sorry, but… she and I, we…”
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“I know. You both loved each other for far more time than either of you knew me. Don’t worry so much, I will be alright. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go to my room to think and sleep over this. Maybe tomorrow I can tell you what I decided, or if I need more time.”
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Nozomu left for the stairs, and Koyaga kept on looking at his back. When he reached the top level, she mumbled in a low voice. “I am not sure if we aren’t being mean to him, Mere. I really don’t know. Any other guy would be furious and would refuse such a thing… I just hope… no, I will pray for him to find someone to love and who loves him back. Yes, that’s it…”
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As Koyaga was leaving for her room, Nozomu was in front of Taisetsuna’s door, thinking if he should knock or not. He couldn’t tell her about Koyaga and the Princess, but he needed to talk.
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Surprisingly, the door opened, and Taisetsuna was looking at him with a surprised look. “Oh! I thought I heard you walking up the stairs. You… don’t look so good. What’s the matter?”
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“Can I come in? I want to tell you something.”
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Seeing his sadness and seriousness in his eyes puzzled her, and Taisetsuna immediately hold his hand and pulled him in. She closed the door and guided him to the table, and she sat on the chair in front of him, waiting.
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Nozomu fiddled with his fingers for two seconds, getting his thoughts in order before speaking. “I want to tell you this before you hear it from someone else. I didn’t want to tell you this before, because I didn’t want to worry you or upset you. When I hit my head on that rock, I didn’t lose my memories. I mean, I lost all the memories of being Nozomu, but I remembered another life. That is probably why I act and speak so differently from the Nozomu you used to know. On that day, when I opened my eyes, you were the first person I saw after my death in another place, in another life. I am not sure how much time has passed since I died in that place. What I know is that I am now here, and I don’t think the Nozomu you once knew will ever return.”
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“What do you mean? I don’t understand. You had another life, and you died and woke up as Nozomu? Is that it?”
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“Yes, that is more or less like that. I was forty-five years old, I was married, I had one son your age and a little daughter with the same age as Takanari. I am often mistaking you with him. He was also a bit of a wildfire like you, and he loosed his temper rather easily. My daughter was cute and sweet, like Takanari. I don’t know what happened, but I think my soul arrived here and entered Nozomu’s body.”
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Taisetsuna had her mouth wide open, and she made a huge effort to ask. “Do you think you will ever be the old Nozomu again? Or he disappeared forever? Why are you so certain that he will never return? What if you think it’s an old life, when in fact it’s just your head that is messed up because of that rock, and you are creating those fresh memories because you can’t deal with your memory loss? The mind does some strange things, you know?”
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“Did you ever see the Nozomu you used to know read as much as I do? Or being so puzzled about everything around him? I don’t want to insult his memory, but I am sure I am way smarter than he ever was, not to mention I am more polite. From what I could find out, he was more like a rude brat than a good person.”
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“Yeah, Nozomu was a brat, but he was also kind. I know you are different, but just the thought that I won’t ever get back my Nozomu… Maybe one day you get your memories back. I mean, Nozomu’s memories. Argh! This is so hard! Who are you, anyway? Are you Nozomu or someone else?”
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“I used to go by the name of Jack Snyder, but for all purposes, I am now Nozomu Shinchaku. I remember everything from my life as Jack, but I remember nothing about Nozomu’s life. I wasn’t lying when I told you I had lost my memory because I don’t have any memories of Nozomu growing up with you. That makes me sad because you are awesome, and for sure, it was amazing growing up with you.”
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