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No Plagiarism!qcRMcxjjld2cnrhMwztcposted on PENANA 468Please respect copyright.PENANATkqnZ48Y5g
8964 copyright protection464PENANAHpYbG1OKY4 維尼
可能是因為別人的笑,加上我極端渴望別人的笑,有很長時間我都覺得自己是個白癡。畢竟別人能夠輕易而舉地做的事,我都好像無法做到,而我費盡力氣地去做成的事呢,別人看完,也往往是一笑置之。8964 copyright protection464PENANARdFq3rvBrh 維尼
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當然我有能力做到很多事,但是那些事情(例如寫小說?)往往又不是大多數人所需要的。於是覺得自己白癡的想法,隨之便一層一層地疊加起來因,除了白癡我也想不到其他形容詞可以形容自己。8964 copyright protection464PENANAcw8oOSs2qH 維尼
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「白癡」,已近乎深入我的體質,不只別人覺得我是白癡,我是連自己也覺得自己白癡。我沒試過打從開始便自信滿滿能做到某事,然後到了最後真的做到;我更多是覺得自己不可能做到,然後到了最後發現:啊,原來我真的做不到。8964 copyright protection464PENANAno21ScGfsm 維尼
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後來小學有次奇怪的測驗,它不在校曆表上,測驗前沒有測驗範圍,測驗之後也沒有人把試卷發還給我。我們只是在某日課堂上來了一位不認識的老師,他捧著一疊試卷進來,接著便計時開始測驗。8964 copyright protection464PENANAVYIfVnyMmd 維尼
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測驗卷上的題目非常古怪,上面幾乎沒有字,只有一堆圖形,一開始的題目是許多個不同的九宮格,有些塗了顏色、有些沒有,它們不停換位,好像聖誕節的燈飾。至於題目,就是不斷問我這一格和那一格之後,這個格子應該會移動到哪一格去。我跟著題目做,做著做著,老師便說夠鐘。8964 copyright protection464PENANA0wbnwgHmpP 維尼
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測驗靜悄悄地結束了,從沒有人說過不合格的人要留堂,或重測,或有任何懲罰,沒過多久班上便再熱鬧起來,起初還會討論剛才的測驗,後來便是小息吃甚麼,還有班上有誰喜歡了誰。所以我以為測驗已經完結,放學路上也不覺得有異樣。8964 copyright protection464PENANABWrpY8aU0G 維尼
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母親牽著我手,接我放學,她問我:「今天學了甚麼?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAJTyDYIhf95 維尼
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我答:「中文啦,英文啦……」我把課堂時間表背了一次給她聽,上了常識便說今天學了常識。她點點頭:「有沒有專心聽書?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAPYKY5aDgYy 維尼
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「有。」我答。8964 copyright protection464PENANAg23YMhMEbd 維尼
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隔天課上,課室門外有位老師進來,叫了幾個學生的學號,叫我們出去。我是其中一個。我跟著他走,路上不知道會發生甚麼事,而且這位老師出了名兇惡(三十多歲的男人,高高大大,教體育),我只敢跟著,不敢問。8964 copyright protection464PENANAnBmFwKi1Gk 維尼
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他把我們帶離課室,去到走廊盡頭的樓梯旁邊,他說:「學校放學之後會打電話找你們家長,不過不是罰你們,你們也沒做錯事,只是找你們家長談談,之後可能會和你們家長見一見面。」8964 copyright protection464PENANAwNP7Mgs2QE 維尼
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他補充說:「但不是那種你們做了壞事的見家長,不要被電話嚇到!哈哈哈。」他笑了笑,說罷便把我們帶回課室。8964 copyright protection464PENANAFPsszDGvce 維尼
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和我同行的同學仔,在我耳邊輕聲地問:「吓?沒有做錯事也要見家長?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAHDtMWDq2vY 維尼
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我聳聳肩。8964 copyright protection464PENANA5ltfFflozr 維尼
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傍晚家裡響起一通電話,正在廚房洗菜的母親,在圍裙上擦乾了手便出來接聽。8964 copyright protection464PENANAfTMfQsOC4E 維尼
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她一聽電話:「喂?是,溫老師?」她沒等人說話,便搶過來問:「個衰仔又在學校搞甚麼事?」她盯著我。8964 copyright protection464PENANAGsNGj1NQi2 維尼
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我被她一看,嚇得後腦發麻。8964 copyright protection464PENANAwFLc6bY09V 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANAuHw5jZqZOo 維尼
「見家長?」阿媽握著話筒,向我提高聲量,向話筒的另一邊說:「衰仔測驗不合格啊?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAvacGaclIK6 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANA6NzQiIi3c7 維尼
說罷她又聽著,皺著眉(好像聽不明白),「哦、哦、哦」地答。8964 copyright protection464PENANAi721B9WPjF 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANAlHppVYZIu0 維尼
她一面盯著我,一面質疑地問:「真的不是他不合格?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAlQCmBlIeOg 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANA8YR8ZujbQa 維尼
「哦、哦、哦。」她說。我看著她表情上的每個細節,準備她要隨時向我發瘋,預備舉起雙手擋。8964 copyright protection464PENANAKVDUVLO72h 維尼
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她向電話的另一面問:「資優?甚麼資優?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAjaUiFwGuOu 維尼
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她拿著電話,繼續說:「哦、哦、哦。」8964 copyright protection464PENANAwrYL8yRLby 維尼
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她脫下圍裙,放在枱上,找了一張椅子,在電話旁邊坐了下來。她在摺櫈上棟高了一隻腳:「即是測驗成績很好?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAKFjCiFBtrJ 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANAa6cMEYkngE 維尼
——「哦、哦、哦。」8964 copyright protection464PENANAvVMIyx3BNv 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANAzhXKUyhU5Y 維尼
「他?他懂甚麼,只是個蠢仔。」假如有人讚她的兒子,她會如常地否認。她向電話的另外一面報上了笑:「也要你們教他教得好……」8964 copyright protection464PENANAzGInM8IxpC 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANAASnhcmBLeB 維尼
——「啊,是是是……」8964 copyright protection464PENANANFKM1Z1Ksr 維尼
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「他聰明?」母親眼尾掃視了我一下:「他才不聰明!(笑)他哪裡聰明?(笑)」8964 copyright protection464PENANA13BWqGfKZG 維尼
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我呆地看她。8964 copyright protection464PENANAgWRZG0pdBt 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANA1hOBS8CQm7 維尼
母親對電話說:「他整天發吽呌!戇戇居居。」8964 copyright protection464PENANATXhGqnTE2W 維尼
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我和她去見家長的路上,好像去受刑,即使現在回想起來,我也是覺得是當時的我做錯了事。我想,我是不是在測驗裡面做錯哪條題目,結果才弄得要見家長呢?8964 copyright protection464PENANAjA6YSAr6hf 維尼
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老師拿著一幅畫了曲線的圖,指著右面(後來我知道是Normal Distribution),他最使我深刻的一句是:8964 copyright protection464PENANAtAXeAtc9bE 維尼
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「羊太,你的兒子,是在這兩區中間。」8964 copyright protection464PENANAk6K2OXI0pa 維尼
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簡單來說,就是我比正常的聰明聰明了一點,但對真正的「資優」來說,我還是有一點笨。8964 copyright protection464PENANApW2RP7wOvS 維尼
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母親眼尾又向我一瞥,轉而對老師說:「當然啦!他哪會是聰明!」8964 copyright protection464PENANAVL0KJsefsu 維尼
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8964 copyright protection464PENANAzs0iOmRcMV 維尼
她開始對老師,數我在家裡的不是:不聽話、做功課慢、作文胡亂地寫、不聽人說話、脾氣差……老師點頭、點頭,本來想把話題拉回到曲線圖上,不過母親還是一直地說。8964 copyright protection464PENANAY5xRMKsTbH 維尼
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回家路上我很不開心,覺得真的是自己做錯了事,才見家長。8964 copyright protection464PENANAtFAtljbCF1 維尼
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而且,事實是時至今日(真的是今日)我依然覺得自己是個白癡。無關那些IQ甚麼的,我是從日常生活來說,我真的像個白癡。8964 copyright protection464PENANAkNfwF330to 維尼
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——整天發吽呌!戇戇居居。8964 copyright protection464PENANABijLQITm7t 維尼
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不過老師這一段話,完全改變了母親對我的教育。她對我的要求變得嚴苛許多。在別人的母親會為孩子考到全級第四而歡天喜地時,我永遠記得,她為了我在數學考試考到98分而不是100分的事,罵了我一整晚——8964 copyright protection464PENANAA1VGQv8PYf 維尼
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「你在考試有沒有專心過啊!?竟然犯這種錯!」8964 copyright protection464PENANAcNUb9XVSu3 維尼
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「我整天叫你要專心!你硬是不聽!」8964 copyright protection464PENANA2zQpDnryNA 維尼
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「你做甚麼事,永遠都做錯!」8964 copyright protection464PENANAFBADUucZZo 維尼
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「我去學學___(另一個人名),你看人家全級考第一,你看看你考了甚麼!」8964 copyright protection464PENANAKCZxnNJULL 維尼
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「資優?!」她捏著我的耳朵罵:「你說出去醜不醜啊?!老師還說你聰明?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAcsHudr6Ayh 維尼
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「你平時在學校做了甚麼啊?怎樣騙你的老師?」8964 copyright protection464PENANAAPlzL5IB1D 維尼
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「你這樣也叫聰明?!」8964 copyright protection464PENANArQTsE2PKtX 維尼
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