as you are, not what i want you to be
668Please respect copyright.PENANA5KurfoYpep
What I love about you isn’t solely based on the perception or impression you give me or the rest of the world.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAoVuEyAz4aZ
What I love about you are all the reasons why you don’t believe I can love you or that anyone should love you to the depths that I do.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAXSN5vUly0F
Your strengths and grace in what you know and are may make you beautiful, but your weaknesses and insecurities make you perfect for me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAKi2gEb4wDv
When I look into your eyes, I see what other men choose not to see. I accept what other men can’t or won’t accept. Choosing to love you will be the easiest thing I’ll ever do, but losing you will be the hardest feat I’d have to overcome.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA9XOqMEntFs
I can’t promise in the future, I won’t harm you. I can’t promise that I’ll always be the perfect man.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAFFOLs6Gmhd
What I can promise is to learn from my mistakes, to have patience with you even when I don’t have patience with myself and to trust you with every fiber of my being. We may live to grow old together, we may not.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA8i9Cm0WlHl
No matter when, no matter what time we have now I’ve come to realize the paradox I find myself in: It will always be enough and it will never be enough; I will always be blessed as I will always be cursed.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAgJXJx6BySU
Every day that passes makes me joyful because I’m free of the delusion that someone couldn’t love me, when I’m with you I don’t have to hide who I truly am, who I’ve forgotten I could be.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAdCfOUdhd8r
Every day that passes makes me miserable because I know I have fewer days with you than I’d like. If I could have one wish, it would be to go back in time and relive all the moments we’ve shared.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA6XtKWBqvge
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly because none of the great memories would have ever existed without our struggles. The pain has helped us love harder, appreciate the time we have, and give us the patience to love each other in all our forms.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAmsGZWaQ88d
I vow to love you as you are and not stand in the way of who you want to be. I love you, and I vow to love you for the rest of my life, regardless of where this journey takes us.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAhf07HhTykP
For you, I would do anything and everything, all you have to do is ask.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA0Abi7Kw4qS
Solo
668Please respect copyright.PENANA3KZMjAyukP
I have never been much of a talker, I’m comfortable with blending in the background and letting the rest have their fun.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAc5rn6fMIVZ
It's hard enough for me to focus and get outside of my head, so being in the present or having a conversation is truly difficult and sometimes feels like an impossible task.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAQcg4qG6IhF
Don’t get me wrong, when I speak and join in, it's fulfilling and people tend to be fond of me, but that doesn’t make it any easier to partake in any social environment.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA3kFBx8WUTv
I thrive in isolation, especially when I get my hands on a project dealing with creativity or using my imagination whether it is to create music, write, digital art, or an invention for random issues that I am ill-equipped to bring to fruition outside of the digital realm and into reality.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAT7gJG5qtUc
If I’m not in a constant state of flow, I don’t feel any purpose and shortly begin to lose interest in anything at hand that doesn’t seem productive.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAx3IqSk6SYl
What doesn’t help is that none of my creations have any substance outside of my laptop, it's so much easier to create, save, and then return to it later without committing to more.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA9JB8DCgTD5
All I am is committed to fantasizing about what I feel would make my life better; falling in love with the random girl who stares at me from across the room, waiting for her to smile at me so I can approach while thinking of a hundred different conversations we could have and the best way for me to make a good impression.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAa5npxpmyDC
I think about a life with this person; how our worlds would collide and we’d both be better off for it until finances get in the way, my living situation being back home with my parents, my sobriety which will always mean I’m an addict whether I am sober or not.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAobBPTnTCct
In minutes I think of everything that could go right, and then everything that could go wrong. I’ve always been in love with falling in love.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAKmZxsczB3y
It's beautiful because love encompasses everything, there’s pain, sorrow, guilt, vanity, and sacrifice, but on the other hand, there is joy, passion, and companionship, that takes dedication, commitment, communication, and choosing to love and be with someone every day, in all of their forms.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAp35ETjpuFK
Honesty
668Please respect copyright.PENANAk6oNVMWaBG
None of it matters the finances, the weight, my looks, my intelligence, my job, my mental illness, my routine, etc.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAa892bGb5Mo
It’s just all an excuse because I don’t deserve love.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAOhbDisIUfD
I have vehemently pushed aside good things, good friends, good relationships, especially good women.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAb61VFbFDqx
I don’t want to feel like I deserve it.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAesThCCeX1Q
I don’t want to make the time to actually improve, I just want to live doing the minimal, avoiding as much pain as possible.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAnRSirvBOal
I don’t have control and I never will. I am sad. I feel lonely, but at this point, this must be what I want.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAd7DugyoJLC
In any relationship, I refuse to get close unless the other person can provide me with comfort and ease.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAngOfEMbuYN
I’m a narcissist, I only feed off of other people like a leech, a parasite, more like a vampire.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAW44TEGq3FG
Being sensitive and conforming all the time has become my nature.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAAnEcWiCeGC
Im not only addicted to Alcohol, Nicotine, and Marijuana.…
668Please respect copyright.PENANAl2gAfvGirH
Im addicted to suffering and draining the people who love me most because I’m not even sure I love them the way they love me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAAwIs1tBrzA
I just don’t try,
668Please respect copyright.PENANA9Nlull9tfm
I don’t want to try. Its easier to be everything, but me. Its less complicated.
668Please respect copyright.PENANATHh9w8V2Bz
I dont want to be scrutinized because I already know how terrible I am as a human being.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAq62U6jOM1P
I can’t even say I’ve tried hard not be everything I hate. I am extremely intelligent and I limit myself.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAV5dyoPdPk6
I make unwise choices because when I hate failing.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAPqrAXPKafZ
I hate being feeling less. I hate being less, actually I love being less.
668Please respect copyright.PENANArw3Q3pLXrl
Confusion and complexity is the only thing I strive for which is why I never want to work on myself.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAAfkOOiPvFM
I could read an unquantifiable number of books, do drugs, sleep with anyone, fall in love with anyone and it’ll never be enough.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAk1QdpjLaYB
I will never be enough for myself and that is why I will never be anything more than what I am today or what I was the day before and I’m not okay with that, but I’m scared. I’m deathly afraid of me, I don’t know if I could even handle knowing the person I have become.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAYkWUlbC4ZD
I wish I had the courage to liberate myself instead of always convincing myself to liberate others.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA2oXHtrUEgk
Fond Of
668Please respect copyright.PENANAR8W9pgZXQz
What im fond of..
668Please respect copyright.PENANAsqt1xapQpF
I am fond of memories, until im not
668Please respect copyright.PENANAWznnHEtWBw
I am fond of love, until im not
668Please respect copyright.PENANAEIS1IKutL8
I am fond of fairytales, until im not
668Please respect copyright.PENANAGPOxgrVNF5
I am fond of family, until im not
668Please respect copyright.PENANAjsnEoeBO3e
I am fond of life, until im not
668Please respect copyright.PENANAb2JCfMh1nM
I am fond of giving, until im not
668Please respect copyright.PENANAc5fhBSidn9
I am fond of you because this.. I cannot and will not stop
668Please respect copyright.PENANAk9u2CHLOhq
Paranoia
668Please respect copyright.PENANAqK6zsjGDdT
Every day, being aware of your thoughts, but not just the act of thinking.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAaPNmZBFjCS
Organizing, Rationalizing, and battling the sequence, the line of insecurities, the paranoia, the way I perceive the world around me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAZkjhbA0niT
Its the same assumption, more like accusations every 24 hours:
668Please respect copyright.PENANAb2LtUlrSLK
Are they laughing at me?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAev0aljXuz4
Do they think I’m ugly?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAYkjIkwCamr
Do they laugh because I’m ugly?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAkjKdUXVopG
They must be looking at me because there is something wrong with me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAao3t0tmlse
Is there something wrong with me?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAGvUjk1CQEX
Why do I care? Why do I let myself care?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAYOSBbKLbn1
Is she looking at me?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAuMArx9pDyo
I wish she would look at me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA2KKm0csswv
Why isn’t she interested?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAoUypVzkQEe
Do I even want her to be interested?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAu8gj5nadCQ
Its better if she isn’t.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAaXQKiT627j
Im not in the right head space, financial stability, patience, looks, or the fact I’m not interesting enough.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAv7LU9Cffxu
Am I enough?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAhEehV7xXQp
Will I ever be enough?
668Please respect copyright.PENANABFk3HWaYqF
If I eat this am I going to be fat?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAVmLg3YIcAT
Am I going to be even more unattractive?
668Please respect copyright.PENANA5HOIzUY5qK
If I don’t pray, if I don’t show gratitude, if I don’t give mercy to others, how can I expect it from God?
668Please respect copyright.PENANA0gvagNaEvz
Does god even want to hear from me?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAV2XZ2LGWOE
I don’t want to pray because Im tired and it feels like a waste of my time.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAamtws7BsrA
When I do speak to God, does he take the time to listen when I have doubts, practically have zero faith?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAsPZI6KrgQp
Am I just a loser who lives at home with Mom and Rick? Are they helping me or am I just manipulating them?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAvYu330Wzcq
Love Her
668Please respect copyright.PENANAoaMoF84CNX
How can I begin to liberate myself from this burden of loops consisting of only what ifs?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAfY00Nbxsll
Some days I think about you until dawn.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAwZXuGl8LuK
Most days now, I am restless.
668Please respect copyright.PENANATudKgNQsJ2
Producing, then digesting mountains of fantasies hoping theirs a side of you that sees what I do.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAZGxqhTOtcQ
Still, we repel and with each passing moment, I bleed.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAC8Bi188L5w
I lose all sense of consciousness and am yours.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAMKepaiCWkl
Am I fool or a hopeless romantic?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAfGDjRF2dbT
Is there a clear distinction between the two?
668Please respect copyright.PENANA8cNXetJw3X
I find myself treading along a silver lining.
668Please respect copyright.PENANACtYZqzGlcP
She believes she’s lead by kismet, but how can that be with a leash around its neck?
668Please respect copyright.PENANAc8OIREcRko
This path she walks erodes her.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAMecSJKBHvE
It erodes me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAcaAMQd9GP1
I feel it on her skin when we touch.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAXEMVA5LlRd
Spiraling
668Please respect copyright.PENANAwFbZO0fICy
I am losing my mind all over again and I’m afraid of what can and will happen next.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAEAU9ZqpsNT
There is so much that I need, but I think they are just things I want which is a huge difference.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAskKJND4wlq
Its not a bad to want something, but to cling onto it as if it’ll fix everything, or the key to my happiness is where I fall short.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA4MkZF57X2t
I keep on focusing on the outside, external factor that are the issue, but I don’t attempt to fix the broken pieces inside of me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANALPtrABkHFW
I need to be validate in everything I do, or else I’ll never be good enough.
668Please respect copyright.PENANArjp8rMwS5E
There is a wickedness inside of me that I feed.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAYRQvC6rXpT
I believe in all the negative and rarely the positive.
668Please respect copyright.PENANASi5JgObjOS
I am getting much better and more mindful about the decisions and life choices im making, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAw0rW6jL0r8
Because im not. I’m not okay.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAXkpYN4BKbq
I dont want to with anyone because im scared of being rejected.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA08bDTu6lmF
Im scared of getting close to someone else and not pulling through or giving them too much of me.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAGx9ym8HbHu
I know that if I got to that point and something bad happens like a break up, too many fights, different life plans/future, I’d be utterly devastated.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAEVfexjrdQq
I can barely hold myself together as is.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA4JFtxV4Zgg
I wake up in the morning when I wish I could be dreaming.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAzpiGgQvScb
I go downstairs and make myself an awesome smoothie with strawberries, bananas, cinnamon sugar almond butter oats and some milk.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAlPwd8yAZl3
Its really fucking good.
668Please respect copyright.PENANApFgQAaMa94
I watch tv for about an hour or less, take my medicine and then head to the gym.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAC6WZSBoz2p
I park my car closer to the bank which is further away from Planet Fitness because I like walking the distance.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAMB9lXUHF2o
I enter the gym, swipe my barcode with my membership and ask for 20 minutes on the Hydromassage.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAzIYtWF7hWC
After I go stretch for 10 to 15 minutes, lift for another 20 to 30 minutes, then walk for an hour while reading my books.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAmLn1o9ZaMY
I get to read like 30 pages which I really enjoy, but lately its all felt monotonous, I am struggling to do the things that I used to really enjoy.
668Please respect copyright.PENANARIeOsOS81Z
I stretch for another 10 to 15 minutes or hit the hydromassage for another 10 minutes.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA8i8LAWrZ9A
This is when I leave and head back home.
668Please respect copyright.PENANATy8566jbTZ
Going back home I look forward to eating, sometimes showering, making myself eggs , drinking some protein powder (double chocolate).
668Please respect copyright.PENANAG3uhVPddup
I sit to watch something on Netflix, Hulu, Prime or YouTube while promoting my music.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAjYJ02xx8FW
Sometimes Ill make music, sometimes, Ill write a story or create some digital art.
668Please respect copyright.PENANA5qMQYpBzQD
Lately, I’ve been getting into rom coms and feel good movies to distract myself.
668Please respect copyright.PENANADznAxrn4f0
I want to be convinced that something good lies ahead.
668Please respect copyright.PENANAwWNBnbL8Xw
I want to believe that something real and tangible is going to happen.
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