as you are, not what i want you to be
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KurfoYpep
What I love about you isn’t solely based on the perception or impression you give me or the rest of the world.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVuEyAz4aZ
What I love about you are all the reasons why you don’t believe I can love you or that anyone should love you to the depths that I do.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSN5vUly0F
Your strengths and grace in what you know and are may make you beautiful, but your weaknesses and insecurities make you perfect for me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi2gEb4wDv
When I look into your eyes, I see what other men choose not to see. I accept what other men can’t or won’t accept. Choosing to love you will be the easiest thing I’ll ever do, but losing you will be the hardest feat I’d have to overcome.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XOqMEntFs
I can’t promise in the future, I won’t harm you. I can’t promise that I’ll always be the perfect man.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFOLs6Gmhd
What I can promise is to learn from my mistakes, to have patience with you even when I don’t have patience with myself and to trust you with every fiber of my being. We may live to grow old together, we may not.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i9Cm0WlHl
No matter when, no matter what time we have now I’ve come to realize the paradox I find myself in: It will always be enough and it will never be enough; I will always be blessed as I will always be cursed.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJXJx6BySU
Every day that passes makes me joyful because I’m free of the delusion that someone couldn’t love me, when I’m with you I don’t have to hide who I truly am, who I’ve forgotten I could be.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCfOUdhd8r
Every day that passes makes me miserable because I know I have fewer days with you than I’d like. If I could have one wish, it would be to go back in time and relive all the moments we’ve shared.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XtKWBqvge
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly because none of the great memories would have ever existed without our struggles. The pain has helped us love harder, appreciate the time we have, and give us the patience to love each other in all our forms.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsGZWaQ88d
I vow to love you as you are and not stand in the way of who you want to be. I love you, and I vow to love you for the rest of my life, regardless of where this journey takes us.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf07HhTykP
For you, I would do anything and everything, all you have to do is ask.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Abi7Kw4qS
Solo
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KZMjAyukP
I have never been much of a talker, I’m comfortable with blending in the background and letting the rest have their fun.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5rn6fMIVZ
It's hard enough for me to focus and get outside of my head, so being in the present or having a conversation is truly difficult and sometimes feels like an impossible task.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcg4qG6IhF
Don’t get me wrong, when I speak and join in, it's fulfilling and people tend to be fond of me, but that doesn’t make it any easier to partake in any social environment.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kFBx8WUTv
I thrive in isolation, especially when I get my hands on a project dealing with creativity or using my imagination whether it is to create music, write, digital art, or an invention for random issues that I am ill-equipped to bring to fruition outside of the digital realm and into reality.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7gJG5qtUc
If I’m not in a constant state of flow, I don’t feel any purpose and shortly begin to lose interest in anything at hand that doesn’t seem productive.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3IqSk6SYl
What doesn’t help is that none of my creations have any substance outside of my laptop, it's so much easier to create, save, and then return to it later without committing to more.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JB8DCgTD5
All I am is committed to fantasizing about what I feel would make my life better; falling in love with the random girl who stares at me from across the room, waiting for her to smile at me so I can approach while thinking of a hundred different conversations we could have and the best way for me to make a good impression.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5npxpmyDC
I think about a life with this person; how our worlds would collide and we’d both be better off for it until finances get in the way, my living situation being back home with my parents, my sobriety which will always mean I’m an addict whether I am sober or not.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobBPTnTCct
In minutes I think of everything that could go right, and then everything that could go wrong. I’ve always been in love with falling in love.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmZxsczB3y
It's beautiful because love encompasses everything, there’s pain, sorrow, guilt, vanity, and sacrifice, but on the other hand, there is joy, passion, and companionship, that takes dedication, commitment, communication, and choosing to love and be with someone every day, in all of their forms.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp35ETjpuFK
Honesty
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6oNVMWaBG
None of it matters the finances, the weight, my looks, my intelligence, my job, my mental illness, my routine, etc.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa892bGb5Mo
It’s just all an excuse because I don’t deserve love.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhbDisIUfD
I have vehemently pushed aside good things, good friends, good relationships, especially good women.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb61VFbFDqx
I don’t want to feel like I deserve it.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesThCCeX1Q
I don’t want to make the time to actually improve, I just want to live doing the minimal, avoiding as much pain as possible.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRSirvBOal
I don’t have control and I never will. I am sad. I feel lonely, but at this point, this must be what I want.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7DugyoJLC
In any relationship, I refuse to get close unless the other person can provide me with comfort and ease.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngOfEMbuYN
I’m a narcissist, I only feed off of other people like a leech, a parasite, more like a vampire.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW44TEGq3FG
Being sensitive and conforming all the time has become my nature.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnEcWiCeGC
Im not only addicted to Alcohol, Nicotine, and Marijuana.…
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2gAfvGirH
Im addicted to suffering and draining the people who love me most because I’m not even sure I love them the way they love me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwIs1tBrzA
I just don’t try,
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Nlull9tfm
I don’t want to try. Its easier to be everything, but me. Its less complicated.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHh9w8V2Bz
I dont want to be scrutinized because I already know how terrible I am as a human being.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq62U6jOM1P
I can’t even say I’ve tried hard not be everything I hate. I am extremely intelligent and I limit myself.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5dyoPdPk6
I make unwise choices because when I hate failing.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqrAXPKafZ
I hate being feeling less. I hate being less, actually I love being less.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrw3Q3pLXrl
Confusion and complexity is the only thing I strive for which is why I never want to work on myself.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfkOOiPvFM
I could read an unquantifiable number of books, do drugs, sleep with anyone, fall in love with anyone and it’ll never be enough.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1QdpjLaYB
I will never be enough for myself and that is why I will never be anything more than what I am today or what I was the day before and I’m not okay with that, but I’m scared. I’m deathly afraid of me, I don’t know if I could even handle knowing the person I have become.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkWUlbC4ZD
I wish I had the courage to liberate myself instead of always convincing myself to liberate others.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oXHtrUEgk
Fond Of
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8W9pgZXQz
What im fond of..
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqt1xapQpF
I am fond of memories, until im not
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWznnHEtWBw
I am fond of love, until im not
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIS1IKutL8
I am fond of fairytales, until im not
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPOxgrVNF5
I am fond of family, until im not
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsnEoeBO3e
I am fond of life, until im not
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2JCfMh1nM
I am fond of giving, until im not
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5fhBSidn9
I am fond of you because this.. I cannot and will not stop
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9u2CHLOhq
Paranoia
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK6zsjGDdT
Every day, being aware of your thoughts, but not just the act of thinking.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPNmZBFjCS
Organizing, Rationalizing, and battling the sequence, the line of insecurities, the paranoia, the way I perceive the world around me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkjhbA0niT
Its the same assumption, more like accusations every 24 hours:
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2LtUlrSLK
Are they laughing at me?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡev0aljXuz4
Do they think I’m ugly?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkjIkwCamr
Do they laugh because I’m ugly?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjKdUXVopG
They must be looking at me because there is something wrong with me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao3t0tmlse
Is there something wrong with me?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvUjk1CQEX
Why do I care? Why do I let myself care?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOSBbKLbn1
Is she looking at me?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMArx9pDyo
I wish she would look at me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KKm0csswv
Why isn’t she interested?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUypVzkQEe
Do I even want her to be interested?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8gj5nadCQ
Its better if she isn’t.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXQKiT627j
Im not in the right head space, financial stability, patience, looks, or the fact I’m not interesting enough.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7LU9Cffxu
Am I enough?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEehV7xXQp
Will I ever be enough?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFk3HWaYqF
If I eat this am I going to be fat?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmLg3YIcAT
Am I going to be even more unattractive?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HOIzUY5qK
If I don’t pray, if I don’t show gratitude, if I don’t give mercy to others, how can I expect it from God?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gvagNaEvz
Does god even want to hear from me?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2XZ2LGWOE
I don’t want to pray because Im tired and it feels like a waste of my time.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamtws7BsrA
When I do speak to God, does he take the time to listen when I have doubts, practically have zero faith?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPZI6KrgQp
Am I just a loser who lives at home with Mom and Rick? Are they helping me or am I just manipulating them?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYu330Wzcq
Love Her
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaMoF84CNX
How can I begin to liberate myself from this burden of loops consisting of only what ifs?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY00Nbxsll
Some days I think about you until dawn.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZXuGl8LuK
Most days now, I am restless.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTudKgNQsJ2
Producing, then digesting mountains of fantasies hoping theirs a side of you that sees what I do.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGxqhTOtcQ
Still, we repel and with each passing moment, I bleed.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8Bi188L5w
I lose all sense of consciousness and am yours.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKepaiCWkl
Am I fool or a hopeless romantic?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGDjRF2dbT
Is there a clear distinction between the two?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cNXetJw3X
I find myself treading along a silver lining.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtYZqzGlcP
She believes she’s lead by kismet, but how can that be with a leash around its neck?
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8OIREcRko
This path she walks erodes her.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMecSJKBHvE
It erodes me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaAMQd9GP1
I feel it on her skin when we touch.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEMVA5LlRd
Spiraling
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFbZO0fICy
I am losing my mind all over again and I’m afraid of what can and will happen next.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAU9ZqpsNT
There is so much that I need, but I think they are just things I want which is a huge difference.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskKJND4wlq
Its not a bad to want something, but to cling onto it as if it’ll fix everything, or the key to my happiness is where I fall short.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MkZF57X2t
I keep on focusing on the outside, external factor that are the issue, but I don’t attempt to fix the broken pieces inside of me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPtrABkHFW
I need to be validate in everything I do, or else I’ll never be good enough.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjp8rMwS5E
There is a wickedness inside of me that I feed.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRQvC6rXpT
I believe in all the negative and rarely the positive.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi5JgObjOS
I am getting much better and more mindful about the decisions and life choices im making, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0rW6jL0r8
Because im not. I’m not okay.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkpYN4BKbq
I dont want to with anyone because im scared of being rejected.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08bDTu6lmF
Im scared of getting close to someone else and not pulling through or giving them too much of me.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGx9ym8HbHu
I know that if I got to that point and something bad happens like a break up, too many fights, different life plans/future, I’d be utterly devastated.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVfexjrdQq
I can barely hold myself together as is.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JFtxV4Zgg
I wake up in the morning when I wish I could be dreaming.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpiGgQvScb
I go downstairs and make myself an awesome smoothie with strawberries, bananas, cinnamon sugar almond butter oats and some milk.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPwd8yAZl3
Its really fucking good.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFgQAaMa94
I watch tv for about an hour or less, take my medicine and then head to the gym.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6WZSBoz2p
I park my car closer to the bank which is further away from Planet Fitness because I like walking the distance.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMB9lXUHF2o
I enter the gym, swipe my barcode with my membership and ask for 20 minutes on the Hydromassage.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIYtWF7hWC
After I go stretch for 10 to 15 minutes, lift for another 20 to 30 minutes, then walk for an hour while reading my books.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLn1o9ZaMY
I get to read like 30 pages which I really enjoy, but lately its all felt monotonous, I am struggling to do the things that I used to really enjoy.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIeOsOS81Z
I stretch for another 10 to 15 minutes or hit the hydromassage for another 10 minutes.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i8LAWrZ9A
This is when I leave and head back home.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy8566jbTZ
Going back home I look forward to eating, sometimes showering, making myself eggs , drinking some protein powder (double chocolate).
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3uhVPddup
I sit to watch something on Netflix, Hulu, Prime or YouTube while promoting my music.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYJ02xx8FW
Sometimes Ill make music, sometimes, Ill write a story or create some digital art.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qMQYpBzQD
Lately, I’ve been getting into rom coms and feel good movies to distract myself.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDznAxrn4f0
I want to be convinced that something good lies ahead.
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWNBnbL8Xw
I want to believe that something real and tangible is going to happen.
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