No Plagiarism!JlL4AQkpYTYRDEG8GWNrposted on PENANA 487Please respect copyright.PENANAXapEJGmxFX
8964 copyright protection483PENANAXWJIOU0JK9 維尼
可能是因為別人的笑,加上我極端渴望別人的笑,有很長時間我都覺得自己是個白癡。畢竟別人能夠輕易而舉地做的事,我都好像無法做到,而我費盡力氣地去做成的事呢,別人看完,也往往是一笑置之。8964 copyright protection483PENANA4YrCDlZ58B 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAYAK17cidIm
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當然我有能力做到很多事,但是那些事情(例如寫小說?)往往又不是大多數人所需要的。於是覺得自己白癡的想法,隨之便一層一層地疊加起來因,除了白癡我也想不到其他形容詞可以形容自己。8964 copyright protection483PENANAlwWzFf61eC 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAZro3bKGVJT
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「白癡」,已近乎深入我的體質,不只別人覺得我是白癡,我是連自己也覺得自己白癡。我沒試過打從開始便自信滿滿能做到某事,然後到了最後真的做到;我更多是覺得自己不可能做到,然後到了最後發現:啊,原來我真的做不到。8964 copyright protection483PENANAsSlsOwvaLY 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAZlXZIcPrwu
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487Please respect copyright.PENANAcbrPEfQ8QB
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後來小學有次奇怪的測驗,它不在校曆表上,測驗前沒有測驗範圍,測驗之後也沒有人把試卷發還給我。我們只是在某日課堂上來了一位不認識的老師,他捧著一疊試卷進來,接著便計時開始測驗。8964 copyright protection483PENANAStLWV0OPOy 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANA43hCiUEQXz
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測驗卷上的題目非常古怪,上面幾乎沒有字,只有一堆圖形,一開始的題目是許多個不同的九宮格,有些塗了顏色、有些沒有,它們不停換位,好像聖誕節的燈飾。至於題目,就是不斷問我這一格和那一格之後,這個格子應該會移動到哪一格去。我跟著題目做,做著做著,老師便說夠鐘。8964 copyright protection483PENANAOG2zkEP0x4 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAMIbcItfMKJ
8964 copyright protection483PENANAFfWW3wNIT4 維尼
測驗靜悄悄地結束了,從沒有人說過不合格的人要留堂,或重測,或有任何懲罰,沒過多久班上便再熱鬧起來,起初還會討論剛才的測驗,後來便是小息吃甚麼,還有班上有誰喜歡了誰。所以我以為測驗已經完結,放學路上也不覺得有異樣。8964 copyright protection483PENANA6fU8SypWBe 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAXuLNXdSA1A
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母親牽著我手,接我放學,她問我:「今天學了甚麼?」8964 copyright protection483PENANASy1IhLRTVU 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAkTlA1CyoFh
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我答:「中文啦,英文啦……」我把課堂時間表背了一次給她聽,上了常識便說今天學了常識。她點點頭:「有沒有專心聽書?」8964 copyright protection483PENANAb9yhvIi61o 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAzWaOVFz1wE
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「有。」我答。8964 copyright protection483PENANAJH87becFqP 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAc4G5SODmKt
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487Please respect copyright.PENANAHOcdMBbP0X
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隔天課上,課室門外有位老師進來,叫了幾個學生的學號,叫我們出去。我是其中一個。我跟著他走,路上不知道會發生甚麼事,而且這位老師出了名兇惡(三十多歲的男人,高高大大,教體育),我只敢跟著,不敢問。8964 copyright protection483PENANAFfAUJsptRA 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAGofd4kl7uP
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他把我們帶離課室,去到走廊盡頭的樓梯旁邊,他說:「學校放學之後會打電話找你們家長,不過不是罰你們,你們也沒做錯事,只是找你們家長談談,之後可能會和你們家長見一見面。」8964 copyright protection483PENANAT9e0kgEWS7 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAoGRjt5VNdF
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他補充說:「但不是那種你們做了壞事的見家長,不要被電話嚇到!哈哈哈。」他笑了笑,說罷便把我們帶回課室。8964 copyright protection483PENANApROyKfEv5D 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAQcfBfcjN6q
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和我同行的同學仔,在我耳邊輕聲地問:「吓?沒有做錯事也要見家長?」8964 copyright protection483PENANAVYRaXVEqWE 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHGe1XU0QyD
8964 copyright protection483PENANAsqR70S9fQB 維尼
我聳聳肩。8964 copyright protection483PENANA6lbh917xgD 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAfpb4iSslER
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487Please respect copyright.PENANABdXsLtVlnc
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傍晚家裡響起一通電話,正在廚房洗菜的母親,在圍裙上擦乾了手便出來接聽。8964 copyright protection483PENANAf58YiB34a1 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAweyKDQC8MN
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她一聽電話:「喂?是,溫老師?」她沒等人說話,便搶過來問:「個衰仔又在學校搞甚麼事?」她盯著我。8964 copyright protection483PENANAy8deHYShRr 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAjE8VIGBoaR
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我被她一看,嚇得後腦發麻。8964 copyright protection483PENANANET1bjSSat 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAoCCo0Jxvk1
8964 copyright protection483PENANAKQ0CTnNc4v 維尼
「見家長?」阿媽握著話筒,向我提高聲量,向話筒的另一邊說:「衰仔測驗不合格啊?」8964 copyright protection483PENANAuCsIbatrZg 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAjiuF5tYxKd
8964 copyright protection483PENANAG8SBSj9znl 維尼
說罷她又聽著,皺著眉(好像聽不明白),「哦、哦、哦」地答。8964 copyright protection483PENANAG1g0WVDNKT 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAcPH9s2kiAl
8964 copyright protection483PENANAKsGap9Z8Tq 維尼
她一面盯著我,一面質疑地問:「真的不是他不合格?」8964 copyright protection483PENANAA2DphPHf24 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANA646lKKHTbm
8964 copyright protection483PENANA6uN915jGL1 維尼
「哦、哦、哦。」她說。我看著她表情上的每個細節,準備她要隨時向我發瘋,預備舉起雙手擋。8964 copyright protection483PENANA8mDhlVmlmh 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOx10pQ5KID
8964 copyright protection483PENANAzxVal2CM4o 維尼
她向電話的另一面問:「資優?甚麼資優?」8964 copyright protection483PENANAEhKwQZIQvZ 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANA1Y3j2sO4r7
8964 copyright protection483PENANA4OBc9Z6x7l 維尼
她拿著電話,繼續說:「哦、哦、哦。」8964 copyright protection483PENANAJljX5OHtNI 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAcnHoib9P95
8964 copyright protection483PENANAr8UWb4PQJN 維尼
她脫下圍裙,放在枱上,找了一張椅子,在電話旁邊坐了下來。她在摺櫈上棟高了一隻腳:「即是測驗成績很好?」8964 copyright protection483PENANAUMW5fDnjUh 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAmX0FjFIYym
8964 copyright protection483PENANAinH57JWASt 維尼
——「哦、哦、哦。」8964 copyright protection483PENANAtRIuFaGmb5 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAlicz6Y3OGL
8964 copyright protection483PENANAgfFGYWSMvz 維尼
「他?他懂甚麼,只是個蠢仔。」假如有人讚她的兒子,她會如常地否認。她向電話的另外一面報上了笑:「也要你們教他教得好……」8964 copyright protection483PENANASrwIyxVNlb 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAKvQJF0zphT
8964 copyright protection483PENANAJy8LT9VsmQ 維尼
——「啊,是是是……」8964 copyright protection483PENANAxqQ2aPQM3L 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAOc6yYqmk9i
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「他聰明?」母親眼尾掃視了我一下:「他才不聰明!(笑)他哪裡聰明?(笑)」8964 copyright protection483PENANAiL6pzZWK1d 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAv3FyoaVRMu
8964 copyright protection483PENANAGdxnSeabBr 維尼
我呆地看她。8964 copyright protection483PENANAwMjtIOkTXX 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANA86nkNKzUUk
8964 copyright protection483PENANA0IprDRup33 維尼
母親對電話說:「他整天發吽呌!戇戇居居。」8964 copyright protection483PENANAbgvV3fdDuR 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAwm9xV7Bxrz
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487Please respect copyright.PENANAxxl8QU1VUv
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我和她去見家長的路上,好像去受刑,即使現在回想起來,我也是覺得是當時的我做錯了事。我想,我是不是在測驗裡面做錯哪條題目,結果才弄得要見家長呢?8964 copyright protection483PENANABbLS0GGh3b 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAiLXSyyzeCX
8964 copyright protection483PENANAgE8nRBLJ3e 維尼
老師拿著一幅畫了曲線的圖,指著右面(後來我知道是Normal Distribution),他最使我深刻的一句是:8964 copyright protection483PENANAFiLndCHlkF 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHAPF6qxSI8
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「羊太,你的兒子,是在這兩區中間。」8964 copyright protection483PENANAgy5c5sYNZy 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANACeKSAlYPwF
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簡單來說,就是我比正常的聰明聰明了一點,但對真正的「資優」來說,我還是有一點笨。8964 copyright protection483PENANA7dZXsfCHf4 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJMeqF4RyIY
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母親眼尾又向我一瞥,轉而對老師說:「當然啦!他哪會是聰明!」8964 copyright protection483PENANAYdwGPezKXF 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAHtOf3O5DhM
8964 copyright protection483PENANAUkS6UkR4tg 維尼
她開始對老師,數我在家裡的不是:不聽話、做功課慢、作文胡亂地寫、不聽人說話、脾氣差……老師點頭、點頭,本來想把話題拉回到曲線圖上,不過母親還是一直地說。8964 copyright protection483PENANAlTnBoAMABn 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANALGn1mXWrsf
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回家路上我很不開心,覺得真的是自己做錯了事,才見家長。8964 copyright protection483PENANALM2lpmdQZ0 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANA0yhEccBMGm
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487Please respect copyright.PENANAMuTFJ3nXj0
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而且,事實是時至今日(真的是今日)我依然覺得自己是個白癡。無關那些IQ甚麼的,我是從日常生活來說,我真的像個白癡。8964 copyright protection483PENANAhnkDTGFc2b 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVnmnnfsGeX
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——整天發吽呌!戇戇居居。8964 copyright protection483PENANAmfeaH7kYD5 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAVfNxAtznHQ
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不過老師這一段話,完全改變了母親對我的教育。她對我的要求變得嚴苛許多。在別人的母親會為孩子考到全級第四而歡天喜地時,我永遠記得,她為了我在數學考試考到98分而不是100分的事,罵了我一整晚——8964 copyright protection483PENANAWdlxsvPgnm 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAJkbTzKxMKZ
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「你在考試有沒有專心過啊!?竟然犯這種錯!」8964 copyright protection483PENANAE9Ht0IWuzc 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAEe8eOH8GFM
8964 copyright protection483PENANAGdONa24Iex 維尼
「我整天叫你要專心!你硬是不聽!」8964 copyright protection483PENANAgBdFVTrvGa 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANACczMqFcRBn
8964 copyright protection483PENANAR4Z7X0mXg6 維尼
「你做甚麼事,永遠都做錯!」8964 copyright protection483PENANAptKeYLWYFR 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAcE7oMWtiG9
8964 copyright protection483PENANAW01WroZRQS 維尼
「我去學學___(另一個人名),你看人家全級考第一,你看看你考了甚麼!」8964 copyright protection483PENANAAE0jLkgHGt 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANADqBwGPfiv2
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「資優?!」她捏著我的耳朵罵:「你說出去醜不醜啊?!老師還說你聰明?」8964 copyright protection483PENANARH0UZL2Gju 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAAxbxLOKyry
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「你平時在學校做了甚麼啊?怎樣騙你的老師?」8964 copyright protection483PENANA4YVUDWz6Pl 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAmi3TUPzBUQ
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「你這樣也叫聰明?!」8964 copyright protection483PENANAqWZ60cNYSa 維尼
487Please respect copyright.PENANAwUzPg4c8tk
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