"Why the hell is this so hard?" I mutter to myself.424Please respect copyright.PENANAgqHHpyL8bA
424Please respect copyright.PENANAaNhhEkNX6T
424Please respect copyright.PENANAhTJlLL7HmF
Remember how I missed two of Evetta's birthdays? Well, I've decided to buy her two presents — one for each birthday that I missed.424Please respect copyright.PENANArMm2rpKtez
424Please respect copyright.PENANA71no0tLxGJ
424Please respect copyright.PENANA50EWps50DU
I already got a violin bow for her. It isn't some grand, expensive, £2000 bow from 1752, but it's from me; I'm pretty sure that she's the sentimental type.424Please respect copyright.PENANA7orQAKV3N9
424Please respect copyright.PENANAhxd3aws0sD
424Please respect copyright.PENANAPQzOyfaYtw
Now, I'm looking for a black doll, and none of them seem perfect. Every single one that I've seen — which is actually only a total of two dolls — have processed hair. For some reason, I feel like she would want a doll with natural hair.424Please respect copyright.PENANAp8DeO27VFw
424Please respect copyright.PENANAVVtuwKXVwy
424Please respect copyright.PENANASP8N0twXgB
I'm about to give up and just get her a bracelet or something, when I see it through the window of a store. It's called "little Jamaica", and a black rag doll with what looks like twists on her head is smiling through the window.424Please respect copyright.PENANANIrkTlRUqB
424Please respect copyright.PENANAV8eHUK3e1j
424Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7ixqQrHvp
I walk into the store, which smells like lavender, and am immediately greeting by a middle aged woman with locks. Her face looks halfway between black and Chinese; full lips, dark skin, sharp cheekbones, tiny nose and slanted eyes.424Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1fb1GtaB6
424Please respect copyright.PENANASIC3ZV2p3G
424Please respect copyright.PENANAjzvyHUboLo
"Good afternoon sir," she says in a warm voice, but with an accent that sounds identical to Evetta's.424Please respect copyright.PENANAoxA3RO1AT7
424Please respect copyright.PENANAWFFYkJnANu
424Please respect copyright.PENANAuV0T3Ypj9u
"How may I help you today?"424Please respect copyright.PENANAoE8cle7ra4
424Please respect copyright.PENANAEgnB61mWQi
424Please respect copyright.PENANAQpWjUdl0ZQ
I look at the window, and see the doll.424Please respect copyright.PENANAH12HSrZ4vw
424Please respect copyright.PENANAyRecMdwntS
424Please respect copyright.PENANA2sb4saTAaj
"I want that doll; the one by the window. Upon inspection, I realise that it has "Jamaica" written across the front. She looks like she's crying, and she's facing me. 424Please respect copyright.PENANAtuJ4h7HS3h
424Please respect copyright.PENANAGXw7ccwlvD
424Please respect copyright.PENANAWpsxAPqHls
I think I might be losing my mind. Maybe it's more than just amnesia. What if there's temporary brain damage? What if I'm going to completely lose my mind, and have to live the rest of my life in an asylum?424Please respect copyright.PENANARymeHBdot1
424Please respect copyright.PENANACMAqo5tF4a
424Please respect copyright.PENANAxLBKTlQmfJ
Before I have a full blown panic attack, the woman speaks again.424Please respect copyright.PENANAiBqy5pNjjD
424Please respect copyright.PENANAhBHT7oTc5f
424Please respect copyright.PENANAmGWQhIKHuM
"The doll has too faces; one side is smiling, and the other is crying," she says, seeing my confused expression, and following my gaze to the doll.424Please respect copyright.PENANAUwN6KFsYJ6
424Please respect copyright.PENANAF79JDVcHQh
424Please respect copyright.PENANAw7sJPJOS2o
I walk over to it, pick it up, and flip it. Sure enough, it has a face stitched on the other side — the smiling face that I originally saw.424Please respect copyright.PENANAVA4OJj5C0m
424Please respect copyright.PENANAYJchRYATja
424Please respect copyright.PENANAzfrzkyuS2r
Thank god. I'm not mad. Yet.424Please respect copyright.PENANAvHq60eIBrU
424Please respect copyright.PENANANcPSMEgDUO
424Please respect copyright.PENANAXPfArlVcZ0
This is so... special. I love it, and I know that Evetta will love it, too. 424Please respect copyright.PENANAzzwJARm9Z4
424Please respect copyright.PENANAfXbFronzN0
424Please respect copyright.PENANAYbZ5zK0Ucn
I pay for it and walk out, feeling rather proud of myself.424Please respect copyright.PENANA8kq23gOIfe
424Please respect copyright.PENANANUOhzcAERP
424Please respect copyright.PENANAEsDtNdBk0s
Yes, she's gonna be so pleased.424Please respect copyright.PENANAo8h6Qt1DDg
424Please respect copyright.PENANAn6lqdoyrNI
424Please respect copyright.PENANA3GlumqWaOP
Of course, my day can't possibly be that easy.424Please respect copyright.PENANANj6RK6k0Fe
424Please respect copyright.PENANADNoG8qtDpS
424Please respect copyright.PENANAtK7f31hcJh
As I'm walking on the sidewalk, one of the pink ear rings from the doll fall off and break on the pavement.424Please respect copyright.PENANAO3bpPZATAV
424Please respect copyright.PENANAjSvkUqsBKN
424Please respect copyright.PENANAlh8P7u5uHF
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.424Please respect copyright.PENANAVtHN6XTIkn
424Please respect copyright.PENANAu6bUC9eGrZ
424Please respect copyright.PENANAGi3VeFX4r2
What the hell am I going to do now? I can't give it to her like this.424Please respect copyright.PENANAV4V1awhctV
424Please respect copyright.PENANAQQgPriO6HK
424Please respect copyright.PENANAcZJWIyJYnk
Think Caleb. What else can be used as ear rings?424Please respect copyright.PENANABllEw7uuuL
424Please respect copyright.PENANAlW5WlLWf26
424Please respect copyright.PENANAm2ZqCitZEQ
Paper clips?424Please respect copyright.PENANAPGy45vBeKI
424Please respect copyright.PENANADBzMy1GzYF
424Please respect copyright.PENANAGQ2R7kQiIi
No.424Please respect copyright.PENANAStsa28uS6Y
424Please respect copyright.PENANA7qUuKT3ZV7
424Please respect copyright.PENANAgdYAwtJRdT
Hairpins?424Please respect copyright.PENANAZydps530nW
424Please respect copyright.PENANAiBZXzoWo1w
424Please respect copyright.PENANAZNBjwqkxXF
Am I stupid?424Please respect copyright.PENANAKecJbrI17L
424Please respect copyright.PENANALOcgHUysZF
424Please respect copyright.PENANAeunZdB4Bw4
Nose rings?424Please respect copyright.PENANAghyfRWMnal
424Please respect copyright.PENANA0wdHF3D1wy
424Please respect copyright.PENANAFmRJuCxFBN
Wait. That's not a bad idea.424Please respect copyright.PENANAigxDiR7Blo
424Please respect copyright.PENANAZNOZb4BC4a
424Please respect copyright.PENANAHo74IRBlj3
At least this isn't that hard to find. 424Please respect copyright.PENANAnRUHfr4VpB
424Please respect copyright.PENANAPPnhuJspYc
424Please respect copyright.PENANA6UX7PQrDeq
After a few minutes of walking, I find myself in a shop that is stocked full with all kinds of body jewellery, and I pick up a pack of nose rings. Now that I see them, they look far thinner and flimsier than I'd imagined.424Please respect copyright.PENANAWmjFnoWdac
424Please respect copyright.PENANANfME44RabJ
424Please respect copyright.PENANALevseK3GJD
God, I really hope this works, I think to myself looking skeptically at the tiny golden hoops.424Please respect copyright.PENANAyG8iRwSclE
424Please respect copyright.PENANAqzyWaVn4dg
424Please respect copyright.PENANAFbuZZdXhfb
424Please respect copyright.PENANAYQdaXHOVmt
424Please respect copyright.PENANAqIa09qlSEt
***424Please respect copyright.PENANAHIhzSHrFaj
424Please respect copyright.PENANAimaqJI9XU6
424Please respect copyright.PENANAeykUxy298N
424Please respect copyright.PENANA48aaAu2shM
424Please respect copyright.PENANA22tU1ewAA0
The nose rings actually worked, much to my surprise. You'd never be able to tell that anything ever went wrong with the doll on the first place.424Please respect copyright.PENANAehPUuP3dcb
424Please respect copyright.PENANAwTtfIeouHh
424Please respect copyright.PENANACTK2rjIvjl
I'm finished walking the streets for today, so I've decided to take the tube back to the area in which I live. Throughout the entire train ride, I can't keep still. My knee is bouncing like a tennis ball, and I realise that it's more than me wanting to give her a doll and a violin bow; I want to see her again; hearing her voice through a phone isn't enough. Still, I call her as soon as I get out of the station.424Please respect copyright.PENANAgXlf1pMKNu
424Please respect copyright.PENANAgS7vMaxlLI
424Please respect copyright.PENANAVvwGX5sIww
"Hello?"424Please respect copyright.PENANAAeroUPpjW8
424Please respect copyright.PENANA5cUhcWsP4R
424Please respect copyright.PENANAF9h4QMljlT
God, her voice is beautiful. It makes me feel warm, from the inside out, even though it's freezing outside — snow has just begun to fall, and now I deeply regret not bringing a winter coat — and the cold air biting against my skin seems inconsequential.424Please respect copyright.PENANAl6OKZzfrtt
424Please respect copyright.PENANA6PETLjvOYZ
424Please respect copyright.PENANAeTLHua8rp7
"Can you come over?" I ask. 424Please respect copyright.PENANAUasPCgZm7b
424Please respect copyright.PENANAxHXXZC6dWD
424Please respect copyright.PENANAziHDORErHn
But a better idea comes to me.424Please respect copyright.PENANAlR3iHUq99H
424Please respect copyright.PENANATYnSbypM4U
424Please respect copyright.PENANADg7PKpcZrJ
"Are you at home?"424Please respect copyright.PENANAvQGCbo4nrn
424Please respect copyright.PENANAfTWV4H1zch
424Please respect copyright.PENANANSUI0L3ZRa
"Yeah."424Please respect copyright.PENANABLS5S7C6I5
424Please respect copyright.PENANAgMpIA6oIVH
424Please respect copyright.PENANAyqdS6Y2qBI
"Um, can I come over? I mean, you'd have to give me your address, and I'd try—"424Please respect copyright.PENANAGGLk1f9rbt
424Please respect copyright.PENANA18gi567qOz
424Please respect copyright.PENANAIfhnfXQc0R
"Caleb, it's very cold — you sound cold, as if you've forgotten you coat — and I don't want you to get lost, and die of hypothermia. I'll come over. I'll bring you over to my house one day — show you the path."424Please respect copyright.PENANAAlxWfCv2yd
424Please respect copyright.PENANAGyFpPOBzR9
424Please respect copyright.PENANAL3xVfUwCZD
"Fine. But please stay."424Please respect copyright.PENANAL7Jy5iD8Ge
424Please respect copyright.PENANAi1zWH7NhSD
424Please respect copyright.PENANA5wIF6RfQdU
"Okay, but I have to leave early tomorrow. I have work."424Please respect copyright.PENANAjz55GyD9Cl
424Please respect copyright.PENANA2pDr2iQwSi
424Please respect copyright.PENANA1pq7KoK4lj
"That's fine," I say as I walk through the front door of my house. 424Please respect copyright.PENANAr6zWCSwyKT
424Please respect copyright.PENANAJucDWqPTmV
424Please respect copyright.PENANAeF4NcGEoTF
The call ends and I make it to my room, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. 424Please respect copyright.PENANAnrPdRhyfO0
424Please respect copyright.PENANA8lJ9dPalcy
424Please respect copyright.PENANAEvfUIt7qHL
However, I fix an image of her face in my head. I tell myself to stay awake for her. And I do.424Please respect copyright.PENANAmLwP6opjVj
424Please respect copyright.PENANAaGoR3FLmpZ
424Please respect copyright.PENANAau7VKcnA4J
"Caleb," I hear from the bedroom door, and instantly perk up, exhaustion forgotten. She's shrugging off her winter coat by the threshold of the door.424Please respect copyright.PENANAFmML2uIulp
424Please respect copyright.PENANAg5IxjaZ8T8
424Please respect copyright.PENANAjcltl25qtm
"Evetta. Thanks for coming."424Please respect copyright.PENANAK6FgvevjEs
424Please respect copyright.PENANAbby8DVDIEt
424Please respect copyright.PENANArL2CY1XCJs
"Of course, baby," she says, and when I hear the word "baby", I get that warm feeling all over again.424Please respect copyright.PENANAxNknQbUnND
424Please respect copyright.PENANABUQeXa0wLj
424Please respect copyright.PENANAAG6rZ1ra2t
"Um, I got you some stuff."424Please respect copyright.PENANA3hQdmwrs9b
424Please respect copyright.PENANAVbexZyE9LM
424Please respect copyright.PENANAg7OKW9aRKU
"Yeah?" she inquires as she walks over to the bed and sits beside me.424Please respect copyright.PENANA2eVTkTuqWL
424Please respect copyright.PENANADcKAK03vtw
424Please respect copyright.PENANAts9tQlivP1
"I realised that while I was out, I missed two of your birthdays."424Please respect copyright.PENANA0viDmWHQOC
424Please respect copyright.PENANAa06rbJcXJe
424Please respect copyright.PENANAmZ6HpSHH9t
"Oh, god, Caleb," she says to me, catching on, and her voice sounds so... touched.424Please respect copyright.PENANAOUljMJFBTM
424Please respect copyright.PENANAc7Rw1sOaRQ
424Please respect copyright.PENANAzFmZBQjEpN
"So I got you some stuff."424Please respect copyright.PENANAmOgj4VQsVz
424Please respect copyright.PENANAlY5NPYCovT
424Please respect copyright.PENANA82WfziqnPS
Her eyes actually have tears in them. Good god, I never expected her to actually cry.424Please respect copyright.PENANAe8hylA8hgE
424Please respect copyright.PENANAnEVIsBVbeN
424Please respect copyright.PENANAmNQuAxjYnI
Before I can even decide which one I want to show her first — the bow or the doll — she throws her self on me and gives me a bear hug.424Please respect copyright.PENANAQUuqDS4lyJ
424Please respect copyright.PENANAshuOKkL10h
424Please respect copyright.PENANA8LxHdiDV7T
"I love you. Thank you so much. You're the best."424Please respect copyright.PENANAflVEu0iMk7
424Please respect copyright.PENANAmXrvxMmI7O
424Please respect copyright.PENANAMiJrVvzDQV
"I love you too."424Please respect copyright.PENANAjNmTj0MmkE
424Please respect copyright.PENANASGDA7hziXS
424Please respect copyright.PENANA3zJe9bndCh
We stay like that for a while, just holding each other, and when we finally untangle ourselves from each other, her eyes are red.424Please respect copyright.PENANAiS5CU565Rd
424Please respect copyright.PENANAu2vWLO5qcM
424Please respect copyright.PENANAsgbnG4CzDR
"I got you a violin bow," I say as I present it to her.424Please respect copyright.PENANAyXFwv1p0R2
424Please respect copyright.PENANAQTYFICJUhS
424Please respect copyright.PENANA5pdRPRjFPH
Her eyes widen and fill with tears again as she removes it from its casing and inspects it.424Please respect copyright.PENANARtLrxm59BN
424Please respect copyright.PENANAyUgoKCGlYG
424Please respect copyright.PENANACkdbSvKTtX
"I mean, it's not great, but it works—"424Please respect copyright.PENANAh1sqpowBqk
424Please respect copyright.PENANAmrdzaKx7qY
424Please respect copyright.PENANAnH1rgxdiWT
"And it's from you," she says. "That means so much to me."424Please respect copyright.PENANA03FYC440sa
424Please respect copyright.PENANADwdkesu6vg
424Please respect copyright.PENANAm1YmaoGJnf
I was right. She's sentimental.424Please respect copyright.PENANAyFo0oG7ydC
424Please respect copyright.PENANAigqJmDcn3M
424Please respect copyright.PENANAnVty78FKmq
"I also got you a doll. A black rag doll."424Please respect copyright.PENANADVvRj1uZQV
424Please respect copyright.PENANAk91zHnX1hZ
424Please respect copyright.PENANAQx795gpsVl
As soon as those words leave my mouth, her eyes become filled with what can only be described as utter vulnerability.424Please respect copyright.PENANAu7SWE973J4
424Please respect copyright.PENANAVNfQeduDFz
424Please respect copyright.PENANAMVGw2xxgRH
"Really?" she asks, her voice getting high pitched.424Please respect copyright.PENANA31bWtvpnQw
424Please respect copyright.PENANA83YtBM0b2Y
424Please respect copyright.PENANANbJUly71yR
Damn. I really didn't foresee her being this emotional.424Please respect copyright.PENANAyjxE8qOPxg
424Please respect copyright.PENANAFnCjIrHQQU
424Please respect copyright.PENANA6BH7vndqy0
"Yes. I found it in a Jamaican store," I say as I pick it up and hand it to her.424Please respect copyright.PENANAzOO5YiaCck
424Please respect copyright.PENANASAmYaPec5S
424Please respect copyright.PENANAJD7jKihNSq
"Oh, fuck. This is... Caleb, I don't even know what to say," she whispers, turning the doll over, her eyes widening in surprise as she sees the other face.424Please respect copyright.PENANAiLce1GDihj
424Please respect copyright.PENANAJaQUKIJnj8
424Please respect copyright.PENANA31HbLZIlyf
She hugs me, and kisses my cheek, before retracting and rubbing her eyes, smiling at me.424Please respect copyright.PENANAyBNI4PHg0K
424Please respect copyright.PENANAFEDGqQxbq5
424Please respect copyright.PENANA6dTOvVhMiJ
"Incidentally, I brought something over here for you, too."424Please respect copyright.PENANAqy28GTcNLD
424Please respect copyright.PENANAEBDut5xI3d
424Please respect copyright.PENANAU9XVgG4Xmb
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.424Please respect copyright.PENANAhdYbIeUU0q
424Please respect copyright.PENANA2uXQXm0Kzl
424Please respect copyright.PENANAqRvAjSfgnm
She takes out a tiny black doll which is attached to a card that says "Watchover Voodoo" at the top, and has some writing on the bottom.424Please respect copyright.PENANAtECvKtCLIf
424Please respect copyright.PENANAWvEwmtgDvj
424Please respect copyright.PENANAkvRwBmeUgf
It's supposed to guide you," she says. "Now, I don't believe that some tiny doll on a piece of cardboard has magical powers, but I do believe that if you read an inspirational quote every day, you'll probably try to follow it."424Please respect copyright.PENANAu70UaDMnwS
424Please respect copyright.PENANAwA9Na5BtQM
424Please respect copyright.PENANAc8LqHGAZ9r
I read the bottom, and it says:424Please respect copyright.PENANA0pmAyPtBoV
424Please respect copyright.PENANAzePvaE6Jms
424Please respect copyright.PENANAJMHLL42rXC
Reggae Kid424Please respect copyright.PENANAg10ke0CjVz
Keeps you in rhythm with nature and at peace with those around you.424Please respect copyright.PENANAmKtgK7L27k
424Please respect copyright.PENANA7v0RlBi6nX
424Please respect copyright.PENANA3VhoM3X6M5
"You lost your rhythm and piece of mind with that accident, and by extension, the piece that you had with those around you. I can feel the unease within you every time I hear your voice, every time I see you, every time I'm near you."424Please respect copyright.PENANAgdEFMF6Stu
424Please respect copyright.PENANAOpua3z5NL0
424Please respect copyright.PENANAE3Jd9S5W3U
I think about it; I never realised that she knew just how much all of this is affecting me.424Please respect copyright.PENANAsGa4wUGBeI
424Please respect copyright.PENANAJzxXEkP49L
424Please respect copyright.PENANAWGLWm07PO7
"You need to find your peace and rhythm again."424Please respect copyright.PENANAsNHR7wO9aQ
424Please respect copyright.PENANAaFk1IYNeKu
424Please respect copyright.PENANA79NmcCmNs3
"Thank you, Evetta," I say, taking the doll from her.424Please respect copyright.PENANAqK2F02Rvuo
424Please respect copyright.PENANAeCkOoR4MST
424Please respect copyright.PENANALymcelC3Jm
Thank you for noticing.424Please respect copyright.PENANAEXNXIeXxcN
424Please respect copyright.PENANAwrjl9S86fc
424Please respect copyright.PENANAyzgwsW6JyY
Thank you for caring.424Please respect copyright.PENANAKlsnN1Kj1l
424Please respect copyright.PENANALHW5iQe24M
424Please respect copyright.PENANACZiEptVl3O
Thank you for loving me.424Please respect copyright.PENANAoFZqnPrsz0
424Please respect copyright.PENANAEFNHJFbWW1
424Please respect copyright.PENANADbAnLFc5mb
And I do something that neither of us saw coming.424Please respect copyright.PENANAFlnRQ5vC9x
424Please respect copyright.PENANAWTOxiXuk5D
424Please respect copyright.PENANA59kpzoG0JP
I kiss her.
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