x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXIeKWguAy
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis71ch4thr
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGkVZ927fX
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvN5vj60wZd
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9XQwwzkGx
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLz4iSRl9Br
Really talking.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz69n2LBYe3
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoySsTi0HIU
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgrEEBsxUS
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VaZQSYmsb
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKRxtzK3Wd
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrLCjDhP74
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQR6Lmrg3pI
Or52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZ77OSr9dj
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2vg6qFTYo
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZV4RCejpnd
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QxSXAnmvf
I typed.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOplMrauIln
Deleted.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWSv3bhjL1
Typed again.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x2WTLmJF6
Deleted.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ux9HEeIyp
Typed again.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiswkp7qGm
Deleted.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UeAkvdsb7
Typed again.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLa3nYKOLh
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHIxlMBtVR
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLThzxAhyj
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNx7CNCjO8
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGic7HCNuvY
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVh45JjSdw
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAtfvhxqXj
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeg7d7bv5J
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhADLO3m6L
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtB5KhhWb8g
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEvNtwnlqW
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYG0pcBj4L
“I love pizza.”52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2I49kqcF1
“I love that show.”52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu05uZeuxb
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazhBAig0Ku
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7I2TrSKZ8
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrNisg9TtM
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjjMyxoqJe
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Pserk3T1c
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMvTc5szHL
Maybe love is giving without expecting.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIZ8nZDn9B
Hoping without demanding.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufHpdPtpE8
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoMU6LKqdg
then what does that make me?
A gambler?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeY6fYTQzrP
A poet with no ink?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7AejRxs1A
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B1iJwkllU
It doesn’t ask for returns.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS6KM0g7BH
It just… is.
Like the moon.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQpma9PLRk
Distant. Cold sometimes.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DMqSietDx
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaLkWWDaRK
One that felt like surrender.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUA6px5WWh8
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzsFuxyrCZ
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvg68xCBMJ
Not because I wanted to.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYSf5tX8Gj
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FMG1LM5gG
let the poet in me die trying,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbu4BS57Woq
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JHFtwLVAR
time won't change the answer,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2WfOJL5HL
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQn0rJbFer
I want her to smile when she sees my name.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4xmCXegZZ
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLRXM9lX7C
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84JG9sVULG
But I can be someone good.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhTLTmO7m4
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSt9C1qeXAe
"Sure, of course."52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡos30S9saXb
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgTrnN3ihG
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBzC4VBOtS
but it still matters.
The night grew older.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BsJvQfwuC
The conversation faded into a simple:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPA2Fol3h2
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwVVoM0lmr
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡri73CpfDeO
Ceiling fan humming.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhu3BvaI6eE
Eyes open.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpTrOzq2qi
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN31TWvM54D
The silence turned into a lullaby.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicl63OedRW
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7ptexkhHm
not even of love,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3l9tHY8HCv
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2wpWp0C9N
No moon. No wind.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMefvGHKGlc
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkGrVFFiit
“Do you think love makes you whole?52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPefSUShIp9
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYiJfvn2h9
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksqt1ZyUZz
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQxnmv38yY
A reason.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIaZKYglsC
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkMbX6WNGH
a feeling.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5jPvOybsA
A choice.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw18MGy5skU
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgkRLJGBCu
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSXznMcUtz
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9n1NN14XW
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKXL3OI4b6
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFmMw7DA8c
peace.
