「你今個星期日有沒有時間來我家?」張雅己在訊息裡說。95Please respect copyright.PENANAlNCNS2OezI
95Please respect copyright.PENANAIGELjJsj0Z
「為什麼?」我吃驚地問。95Please respect copyright.PENANALyI8uSMyfL
95Please respect copyright.PENANALtA9mvdTSa
「不是你說我們要在學校保持距離嗎?我想跟你繼續討論,你不願意的話,要不我到你家去。」95Please respect copyright.PENANA5YFOYSEt3T
95Please respect copyright.PENANAPSaUayaSYx
「不,不,還是我到你家吧。」我手忙腳亂,不知所措。95Please respect copyright.PENANAy2ImhfvFTb
95Please respect copyright.PENANAYABAV0IvzZ
「可以帶薛丁格一起嗎?我想看看牠。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAKM2wxqPMMA
2008年12月7日星期日,95Please respect copyright.PENANAQmidDpTxCy
我背著裝住薛丁格的貓背囊,來到張雅己的家門前。95Please respect copyright.PENANAYConbHa4AS
95Please respect copyright.PENANABLE4jt00xw
緊張的按下門鐘,出來應門的是張雅己的母親,她很有禮貌地向我打招呼。95Please respect copyright.PENANAFRMpTQW3VE
95Please respect copyright.PENANAm0nnpi4MnJ
「雅己很少帶朋友回家的,特別是男孩子。」她笑咪咪,邀請我進屋,後面傳來張雅己的聲音。95Please respect copyright.PENANAp9xitVCzHg
95Please respect copyright.PENANAjoRGPwYW2g
「你到了,快些進來吧。」張雅己催促我進去她房間。95Please respect copyright.PENANAbCDo71hMKz
95Please respect copyright.PENANAg4LuEL0XV7
「要不要喝果汁?要不要吃零食?雪櫃裡有蛋糕。」95Please respect copyright.PENANACLyzxIrsse
95Please respect copyright.PENANAdlFyX0SPRt
她媽媽繼續在我們身後說著客氣話,直至張雅己用力關上房門。95Please respect copyright.PENANAwHwplLNOPw
95Please respect copyright.PENANAN5ARDvF3j9
她房間裡比我想像還要整潔,而且香。95Please respect copyright.PENANA5PyXezyfNX
95Please respect copyright.PENANA9kk9HWvoQi
最重要是我第一次看見張雅己穿便服的樣子。95Please respect copyright.PENANA7nVn6iTCAm
95Please respect copyright.PENANAZgU8PJHw9n
我從背囊捧出薛丁格,牠不太熟悉周圍環境,在地板上縮成一團,張雅己抱起牠。95Please respect copyright.PENANAtOyVBr3g5o
95Please respect copyright.PENANA0EgWRTmP6C
「為什麼你主人會改你叫薛丁格這種古怪名字,他到底在想什麼。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAVwJOnZuMB9
95Please respect copyright.PENANASOBOoRHlkr
她用比平時更可愛,像小朋友的說話方式,對著牠說。95Please respect copyright.PENANACMXrCnQLX6
95Please respect copyright.PENANABLLqyIog5r
「牠好像比我第一次見牠時健康了。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAq0FM8XDfP7
95Please respect copyright.PENANAjSrLwoqP0k
「還胖了很多,我父母每天也買貴價貓糧給牠,快要寵壞牠。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAWUZcPdIGPv
95Please respect copyright.PENANAvgPvQflez1
「真好,我很羨慕你有幸福的家庭。」她說。95Please respect copyright.PENANAnIXrjH7eY0
95Please respect copyright.PENANAokE5G1DLm1
我腦裡閃過在警署時,她母親那哀傷的神情。95Please respect copyright.PENANAkeRyb0ohYa
薛丁格掙扎著從她手中逃開了。95Please respect copyright.PENANAwb8sDE0oTd
95Please respect copyright.PENANAoc0cq5NK9r
她不知哪裡找來一個貓玩具,高大的她趴在地上,一直逗著薛丁格玩。95Please respect copyright.PENANAbYe5rsvHYJ
95Please respect copyright.PENANAeX7dWpBwCB
「我把之前說的那套電影帶了過來,或者有參考的地方,你有dvd播放器嗎?」我問。95Please respect copyright.PENANAYV3XNcgyN0
95Please respect copyright.PENANA8itEVfdbkL
「可以用電腦。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAdLec5FvRZP
95Please respect copyright.PENANAQ88cCCen0u
我們坐在地板上,靠著她的床,電腦螢幕很細,我們必須擠在一起看,肩碰肩。95Please respect copyright.PENANARL63ss8Ahh
95Please respect copyright.PENANAW5XtrFTbZC
若撇除了我坐在這裡的原因,是為調查她是誰的幻想,還有她是個自殺了5次還死不去的女生,我們現在這個模樣,不過是兩個平常少年少女坐在一起看電影然而。95Please respect copyright.PENANAgN3h1qK3Rj
95Please respect copyright.PENANAXK2SyneKbO
薛丁格走過來鑽進她膀胳,她溫柔的抱牠入懷,在牠脖子的毛皮上親吻。95Please respect copyright.PENANAa3M6kbsgHg
95Please respect copyright.PENANAw5vV7T9gpc
我想她的吻該是甜蜜又溫暖。95Please respect copyright.PENANAKkteD5Q9Pi
「沒有人希望自己死去,不幸地我們都難逃一劫。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAVghdrBzvdv
95Please respect copyright.PENANAnXC9xkcrWD
「終有一天,你會死。可能在銀行心臟病發、可能被薄荷珠嗆死、或者在你度假時罹患不治之症。你會死,你必定會死,即使你逃避了這次,也有其他原因導致你的死亡,而且我可以保證不會像她寫的那樣有詩意和充滿意義。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAuyiNjRNCiJ
95Please respect copyright.PENANAnpFxYpXXgb
戲中其中一個角色對男主角說。95Please respect copyright.PENANAO9ZGnRdEhk
95Please respect copyright.PENANA4jJnFxpkFO
我偷望身邊的她,她看得入神,我看到她眼紅紅鼻子也紅紅,一顆眼淚隨她眼睛輕眨,滑落到她的面頰。95Please respect copyright.PENANA39ut2cQ244
95Please respect copyright.PENANARwddxP7Uha
我不敢哼出半點聲音,不自覺減輕呼吸,假裝沒有發現她在哭。95Please respect copyright.PENANAaXH8vBytiS
95Please respect copyright.PENANAkIOWbGx3dW
電影完結,她立刻站起來背著我,我知道她正用手擦拭眼淚。95Please respect copyright.PENANAmTj2taERKW
「電影很好看。」張雅己咽哽著。95Please respect copyright.PENANApFru4MemFV
95Please respect copyright.PENANAt1hlwd2YCK
「嗯,但好像沒有什麼值得參考的地方。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAXpmKlfcN2p
95Please respect copyright.PENANAZhfaOxUDkq
我看著她的背影,終於按奈不住,鼓起勇氣問我一直想知道的問題。95Please respect copyright.PENANAsWZN1Bm1dh
95Please respect copyright.PENANAf8h9jl0cMx
「你可以告訴我你自殺的理由嗎?」95Please respect copyright.PENANAIcbjFYDjG4
95Please respect copyright.PENANAO9FsrGKffT
她沒有回答,依然站在原地背向著我,我聽到她因為哭過,急促的氣喘聲。95Please respect copyright.PENANAemI6GgFUw4
95Please respect copyright.PENANA39A2cgA7u4
「我不想說。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAcN0IXC63IC
95Please respect copyright.PENANAOEDItRWMPt
「可能是其中一個線索⋯⋯」95Please respect copyright.PENANAYEzbsu6AQP
95Please respect copyright.PENANA2TKqwWTsVz
「我不想說。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAyfdeZshPFE
95Please respect copyright.PENANAyO7DQqesFG
「可能對事情會有幫肋⋯⋯」95Please respect copyright.PENANAKRS2nLOK9q
95Please respect copyright.PENANAVyDiInRbFS
「我說了我不想說!」95Please respect copyright.PENANAyqoCXtZKTo
95Please respect copyright.PENANAbUiYZhgGDp
我第一次聽到張雅己這麼大聲說話,房間裡像迴盪住她的聲音。95Please respect copyright.PENANAvVQCzxLobl
95Please respect copyright.PENANAub4eV1z7EU
薛丁格嚇壞了,躲在我腳邊,我抱起牠,把牠放進貓背囊。95Please respect copyright.PENANAfx3JNDjXA2
95Please respect copyright.PENANAZusJe6X2Ym
「對不起,我想我該離開了。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAKRC1NrKt87
95Please respect copyright.PENANAfAq9PT38Gx
我轉身開門離去,張雅己也沒有回頭,我看到她的背影在微微顫抖。95Please respect copyright.PENANAc1eYhHlrBy
張雅己的媽媽在門外聽到她大聲說話,以為我們吵架。95Please respect copyright.PENANA9wa0Ribh7S
95Please respect copyright.PENANANrfGEI5HiI
「對不起。」她不知為何,跟我道歉起上來。95Please respect copyright.PENANAbxhxWdNYYv
95Please respect copyright.PENANA7lXNW2W1WG
「不,是我不好。」95Please respect copyright.PENANATZ1SbCQItG
95Please respect copyright.PENANAmOErOYm10b
「她小時候,是一個很乖很親切的小孩。自從她爸爸過世後,我就不太懂她在想什麼。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAEDskKHSgai
95Please respect copyright.PENANA8X1UtI9bcl
她看著客廳牆上的照片說。95Please respect copyright.PENANABIhLlVY9Yu
95Please respect copyright.PENANA0X1VJbfmyO
「如果她爸爸還在這裡就好。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAmCLVpfvA6j
95Please respect copyright.PENANAcgYeSagjgB
我走近,想看看張雅己的爸爸。95Please respect copyright.PENANAztKf41NKjH
95Please respect copyright.PENANA2eVAvkjDXm
那是一張家庭合照,她媽媽年輕時更像張雅己。她抱住還是嬰兒的張雅己,坐在沙發上,旁邊站了一個高大的男人,應是她爸爸。95Please respect copyright.PENANALREQjpvwsp
95Please respect copyright.PENANA3TjX6HyYBp
「不好意思,我可以問張雅己的爸爸是何時過生嗎?」95Please respect copyright.PENANAgckRyLbWwr
95Please respect copyright.PENANAdR638CRY3u
「嗯,是張雅己4歲的時候。」95Please respect copyright.PENANA8wIEP65CKY
95Please respect copyright.PENANAkPPqCC8BR4
家庭合照的右上方,貼了另一張照片,大概是她爸爸年輕時跟朋友登山的合照。照片中有4人,前排是兩個女生跪在地上,高大的張雅己爸爸則站在後面,親蜜地用手搭著身邊另一個男人的肩膀。95Please respect copyright.PENANAjZbA4BWM3N
95Please respect copyright.PENANAJzspDOjWR3
「這張照片是?」95Please respect copyright.PENANABuL7xnH8YQ
95Please respect copyright.PENANAQqqYXQ347m
「那是她爸爸大學時期參加登山社拍的,我們當時還未認識對方。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAIfCGEEicXo
95Please respect copyright.PENANAsJnEyT2RzC
我總覺得她爸爸身邊的那個男人很眼熟,好像在哪裡見過他。95Please respect copyright.PENANAkdvVtNLLYI
95Please respect copyright.PENANAOeQwsKHHXQ
這時候,廚房的水壺響起來。95Please respect copyright.PENANApffAojU96s
95Please respect copyright.PENANA1PTjfplOeD
我趁著張雅己媽媽跑到廚房關火,趕快用手機拍下家庭合照和那張登山照,然後匆匆離開了。95Please respect copyright.PENANAZAJPdqO4lw
「對不起,我不應該發脾氣⋯⋯」她訊息裡說。95Please respect copyright.PENANAbXoNB9rCUP
95Please respect copyright.PENANAMH4hwkQaOf
「不,是我不對,我明白你不想說,我不應該追問。」95Please respect copyright.PENANAyuJNCUvADs
我回覆。
ns 172.71.254.182da2