From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aakzzXbKZ
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4poKNM08wb
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZLMogFfgU
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExWev59Eo0
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAU5kyKDbM
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvO7OwyH3T
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehZGVhwWh3
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jO5aAgfka
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnhQa5SZ9F
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrzr4uqbNd
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF1TG31Qlk
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPVGAHowUG
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikSLCMJdhP
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzduvplkGu3
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXxjvCpTxq
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspctEL7owW
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1FRreM8fY
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcak2GWSPJS
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VIJOrt1Jq
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nFYBRPxov
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmwmlcVmbE
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhSbXWTySd
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ASSdKCu7M
and never speak of feelings again.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59wREhsqQk
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZA1DVehKVO
what would you write in a breakup text?127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOHDTRgVpf
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB7LPW4cAf
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOQzB49Fgk
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHOpCXUL2F
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7G4j6GwiQ
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOdwhn9HSw
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ALYuPdK2D
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvygkqlqJlm
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHakXgRjvDw
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFos2kkGXw
that was weirdly lovely.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQT67tULTsU
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzCDHjGQ1J
was there a form i missed?127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhK4f33KZzM
should i be sending muffins?
— maya127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7wH1oKP6K
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEbsANnVim
To: [email protected]127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0A2m7FCTR2
Subject: it’s official
congrats.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1G66IlM8AC
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tmcdHtEjS
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoXz7sIK4I
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBq4zsNKYL
friend of font victims
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UeyJLhcpH
