From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w8AvgbxXs
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8inGKcsAPW
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFePJeHyCux
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ENVdD8ulT
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzqZpBNtoV
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ythxHOebx
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ourWbIBrj
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunoNcj0I0E
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODB6X1cVed
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbgOU0KygK
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2NLDHeVyX
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEPD9C1DPB
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RKm7w2U4Z
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoFkoBCJcA
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32klvtIK3P
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsR1LDDvVD8
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXaLSCuHrj
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxe9maX754
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZSHBm3cXd
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9h7EiD1rl
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gweTzB3nh
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpj6M0rFCc7
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgxIbDjCVX
and never speak of feelings again.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEx7FOvIP8n
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwe4Fgdqtnq
what would you write in a breakup text?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWdhEPU2XS
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOGCSQaRzb
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw2ol7p4n3
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaglalU7C0
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouk5KDLL5t
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDph4sW3nr
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCVrItemSm
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa862vxDCp
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KzJ5HWFHc
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKIfgbVeMt
that was weirdly lovely.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K8yqe33PE
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76c8FaKVLU
was there a form i missed?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRm2WjsCpl
should i be sending muffins?
— maya16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhySdeAiYU
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUt8t5k1Eh
To: [email protected]16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthGcXoCrpm
Subject: it’s official
congrats.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9x7yo43jr
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTrss50IYm
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiqH89jYoQ
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzq0t7D4Hkt
friend of font victims
16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrgEKvOhYi
