From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiZHpIpDpG
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG25WPHvHG
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgv56xN5Fy
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYbwD2IWhr
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fGFR7QPrw
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGJMUDqm8g
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6tQ0vgKcT
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r2yB86xXH
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbWzH1eMG6
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCW1NBHYxQ
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPveoTFjg0P
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleyX8zDGZA
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHbzpzmPii
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV35FRsnLid
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0TGN3CQXL
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JYqrMyW3R
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMTcUT9bZM
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBlVGU4zXs
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DkAg7nOa7
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp18vC3c2bf
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSk8rpYmvH
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRi5n3upBSn
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3soGJ2DahZ
and never speak of feelings again.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThHaDcfxEH
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRsIUA87zC
what would you write in a breakup text?32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TVonDdUE2
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8ISqSV3ba
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsa0CostKCA
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CtXg40TPF
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08wp6mAM49
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbXORCA7SM
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3BqcgsjtZ
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYuFq0O7JB
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjIWd7TuZc
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUnw6V3aOF
that was weirdly lovely.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdl66Atppp
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ytgdl5msv
was there a form i missed?32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXGnfMkmzu
should i be sending muffins?
— maya32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkugFkdZNkr
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7feic29VBC
To: [email protected]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbIfZYK7ow
Subject: it’s official
congrats.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKeNbv1HeS
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyMNQMeJbT
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpeitMA9KH
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrjSvydVP0
friend of font victims
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9FzstkFsS
