From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPBxLQ16e8
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwFvnCFnBm
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQejPU7u0M
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbD3fgRl2c
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwSvsKGX1x
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSlhwjY8IG
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl18meuh8nc
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXIwNXJc2s
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzTiNJUdBX
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopjZ50tfP1
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LU0UzStPD
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKJEp6a0cO
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuXtcPvbm8
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXfZNkvCwA
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSFBZceIP8
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTGX23PXI8
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmfaIn0G7K
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VaOFMgm9D
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡav3hf5NvfB
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdd8zK7rRd
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI210XmPjF1
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ptL32uuhR
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBs4HRPsdT
and never speak of feelings again.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p59z9tLuA
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OM3OzKsb9
what would you write in a breakup text?118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyBp99Or7v
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarTSjd1019
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuYJjV7XEt
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3s8gVUEU3
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09DEr4D8DG
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t2jJagZuO
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ751QzwdZDN
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOQhVC2hNN
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOUuPVQ01Z
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aXKRKm1cN
that was weirdly lovely.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QcmJL03Ay
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpmzsd8svS
was there a form i missed?118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJbOzEutVN
should i be sending muffins?
— maya118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnxTcCl8Yh
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokvQJO1boR
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QK86SXPQS
Subject: it’s official
congrats.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5nO7CEPLr
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAajHoY5crP
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoVPRQzA5r
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dexMmZ18A
friend of font victims
118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiA1c9YIk7
