837Please respect copyright.PENANAa26s1v2PGv
當我折返盧卡斯的狗竇時,恐怖的疲憊如潮水般向我襲來,我旋即昏死在他那浚亂不堪的床上,我有理由相信我並不是睡眠,我而是死了……837Please respect copyright.PENANAU64VZDXEOe
837Please respect copyright.PENANAhHVoS7ea9x
究竟睡眠和死亡有沒有分別?它們是兩種不同的生理狀態?還是互相從屬?抑或,死亡只是一種不會醒來的睡眠狀態?837Please respect copyright.PENANAkCDpWKvKqA
837Please respect copyright.PENANAabAHNfhdst
不要問我睡了多久,醒來時候,我只感覺到肉體處於完全抽離的狀態,我的意識甚至需要用十多分鐘才能回歸到肉體裏,我嘗試動動眼皮,然後我看見盧卡斯的背影,他坐在電腦前,熒光屏上是外國人的四仔畫面,盧卡斯身體在微動著,右手放到下體,不停搖動著某東西,這種姿勢我知道他在做什麼,他正在打飛機!837Please respect copyright.PENANAcjey5O2pvz
837Please respect copyright.PENANATTQV6Ugumf
對!一個年青人對著電腦播放的咸片打飛機!何其天經地義!但是盧卡斯竟沒有避忌蝸居裏多了另一個男人仍打飛機……由此推論,我一定睡了很久很久,時間久得他連背著我打飛機都沒有戒心。837Please respect copyright.PENANAa0FvAL2Gmv
837Please respect copyright.PENANAFb3DygyKlH
外國人的四仔很公式,裏面的演員都好像性愛機械人(Sex Robot)般不停為做愛而做愛,單看他們的表演(相信我,一定是表演)令人很難想像他們日常人生是怎樣過活的。這種跨張的、抽離的演技,活像共產主義之父馬克思(Karl Marx)早年提出的異化概念(Alienation)。異化;故名思義就是由一個「原本的狀態」變成「另一個狀態」的描述,既然馬克思哲學以「人」作出發點,那麼我們即可以問,人「原本的狀態」是一個什麼的狀態?馬克思認為人的「原本的狀態」基本上本是「善良的、是應追求自由、不受束縛,而達到自由、自主、自我創造、自我生成、自我實現的目標」,但有史以來人類卻常是作繭自縛,創設一大堆的社會結構(典章制度、法律機制、主產、銷售、貿易等模式)來範囿人性的發展,以致人類的創造性潛力遭受阻抑,其能力也難得發揮。而資本主義世界,更把異化現象推至另一個扭曲人性本來面目的層次。本來是一群平凡人,便因色情電影的商業價值和銷售利益而變成為做愛而做愛的機械人在不停以各種姿勢做愛…做愛…做愛……837Please respect copyright.PENANAzZuaCxPbiA
837Please respect copyright.PENANAry8GAcPXV2
我能夠動了,如果我現在喝停盧卡斯!他一定非常尷尬,但看著他繼續打飛機,我亦非常難受吧?837Please respect copyright.PENANAjFpTJISyYZ
837Please respect copyright.PENANAaBfnQex1Z6
蒜狗掃把!於是我大叫:「喂!幾點?」837Please respect copyright.PENANAhXeEk3znNV
837Please respect copyright.PENANAey0POGHWAL
然後,盧卡斯整個僵住,電腦熒屏上的咸片視窗倏然一收,換上另一個滿佈密密麻麻英文的網頁。837Please respect copyright.PENANA7EuShEUnxv
837Please respect copyright.PENANAxWrvoDHKKf
三秒後,他若無其事轉頭對我說:「Yo,波叔,你醒喇!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAF1Xq9mtoTU
837Please respect copyright.PENANAr5UkCt5pQl
我的視線不其然集中在盧卡斯的右手上,幸好他仍未『出野』,不過有點濕濕地、黏黏地、都是正常的。837Please respect copyright.PENANASO0gQYmXFk
837Please respect copyright.PENANAW4xetVr5jo
盧卡斯是聰明人,他知道我看什麼,他笑笑說:「Yo,我去洗手,再同你買野返黎食Yo。」837Please respect copyright.PENANAMzqd0EBR13
837Please respect copyright.PENANAXtFJqWAab5
屌你老母,你唔Yo係咪會死?837Please respect copyright.PENANAxvMsWd8a9b
837Please respect copyright.PENANAudblu6M0Gt
837Please respect copyright.PENANA3vyoUk2wJE
醒來後,我屙了一篤我不能想像的大尿和大屎,馬桶都差不多塞了,連沖七次才能把我所有排出的東西沖走……之後,吃了我不能想像的大量垃圾食物,其中包括漢堡包和魚柳包,在此期間,我向盧卡斯敘述了我離開他之後所發生的一切……837Please respect copyright.PENANAQJCLm44Mnh
837Please respect copyright.PENANADGwAnpttls
一邊點著茄醬食薯條的盧卡斯對SM鴨托洛斯基特別感興趣。「Yo,條友都幾奇……幾攪笑!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAQs7nARRvgF
837Please respect copyright.PENANAFxOPy9OPfx
係,現在的年青人什麼都會用『攪笑』去形容,其實最『攪笑』的是他們才對。837Please respect copyright.PENANAMpjyrESG2z
837Please respect copyright.PENANAZwDX0dMAKd
「究竟我訓左幾耐?」吃完東西,補充好體力的我問。837Please respect copyright.PENANA8G9wqqAbY8
837Please respect copyright.PENANAmltfnoAxjC
盧卡斯看看電腦的canlender,說:「四日三夜……」837Please respect copyright.PENANAJx6g4TZs2Z
837Please respect copyright.PENANAvZ2p2cf6vi
「我冇醒過?」我說:「連去廁所都冇?」837Please respect copyright.PENANAAcxetbqxXU
837Please respect copyright.PENANAkH6mGuSkcZ
「冇。」盧卡斯說:「我甚至以為你死左,諗住打911,不過你有鼻航,噪到仆街。」837Please respect copyright.PENANAODePKuGSEv
837Please respect copyright.PENANAUIfwDFyghT
接著,盧卡斯說:「出發!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAm5dNjP9W2T
837Please respect copyright.PENANA6nY2MvuWTq
「去邊?」837Please respect copyright.PENANATacTu1UDaX
837Please respect copyright.PENANAty8AMM20sX
「去搵3K黨!我同你講過,佢可能會為我地解答到魚柳包半塊芝士既問題!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAQlHvPbJCLe
837Please respect copyright.PENANAgyybk9rBAx
沒錯!我是因為魚柳包而來到芝加哥,現在一切都要回歸原點,繼續調查。我清一清思緒-----837Please respect copyright.PENANA4791jw4P6W
837Please respect copyright.PENANA08Tsu2sK7N
阿權的肉體應該仍在深圳的浴缸裏腐化中……那個疑似是他打來的電話應該是我的幻覺?837Please respect copyright.PENANAmCRbmrmW50
837Please respect copyright.PENANAzS8O1OxMOF
微信上沒有小紅的訊息,甚至她的QQ空間也沒有更新過(過往她是天天更新加相的)……837Please respect copyright.PENANAABUeQ1R5Wj
837Please respect copyright.PENANAg3su9mjMUr
她沒有死吧?如果是我會很傷心的。837Please respect copyright.PENANAjZ9j7CIwgD
837Please respect copyright.PENANAO1vP3NoTk4
還有我在香港的父母,他們和我身處在同一個空間嗎?837Please respect copyright.PENANAvuvAWu8g6L
837Please respect copyright.PENANARDKoxvQAi3
我又應該再search一次Juatin Biber嗎?837Please respect copyright.PENANAIM5QpL8lv2
837Please respect copyright.PENANAzJfkXHvtm9
我應該開一開自己的Facebook、twitter、Flipboard嗎?837Please respect copyright.PENANAiUdWmNmQsP
837Please respect copyright.PENANAfLGRd4TXnM
我的Account仍存在嗎?837Please respect copyright.PENANASWPfp5eltl
837Please respect copyright.PENANATPsdpI11CI
一切有意義嗎?837Please respect copyright.PENANA4nv6uHXaOv
837Please respect copyright.PENANAIZXGiFj4aK
如果沒有的話,837Please respect copyright.PENANABLktXSqBpW
837Please respect copyright.PENANA7AfBmdHgsG
我為什麼要活下去……?837Please respect copyright.PENANAJJ0UfNstEf
837Please respect copyright.PENANACCSsknIwIX
如果我硬要活下去,837Please respect copyright.PENANAkt2Vm70Wni
837Please respect copyright.PENANAs3ssIOwXdq
我又應該努力找尋其中的意義嗎?837Please respect copyright.PENANAQa0qiRkEyX
837Please respect copyright.PENANAPU67ulNpVk
又如果,『意義』這東西根本從沒有存在過……837Please respect copyright.PENANABml4A1dbwl
837Please respect copyright.PENANApPoJ9nQaCV
『意義』只是人類的語言符號賦予它的內容時……837Please respect copyright.PENANAGKrln6OdMW
837Please respect copyright.PENANAZSSpdmPzOR
又如果……837Please respect copyright.PENANAq5jrCaMqqb
837Please respect copyright.PENANAxau2GWwVzK
又如果我們不用『如果』預設事物和知識時……837Please respect copyright.PENANA0EXqyZLMqs
837Please respect copyright.PENANA7FFfZgnHC0
837Please respect copyright.PENANA1fF488V1Ei
這樣的思考方法,在我仍是M記區經的時候,我從不會用上。837Please respect copyright.PENANAOXBcGQUzl4
837Please respect copyright.PENANAtBwI4OtkO7
837Please respect copyright.PENANAVAaUboJk6f
盧卡斯用綿羊把我送入他就讀的大學裏,找上一個名叫Jordan Bieber的人類學(anthropology)助理教授,Jordan Bieber就是那個3K黨的黨員,一個白人至上主義者。837Please respect copyright.PENANAOWGmmyaOKu
837Please respect copyright.PENANAbfy2tel0IY
由於盧卡斯和我都是黃種人,當兩個黃種人遇上一個白人至上主義者的時候,那種吊詭的局面可想而知。837Please respect copyright.PENANAZaxwOin9ZA
837Please respect copyright.PENANAvK3Ua5lA4s
Jordan Bieber位於大學裏的辦公室非常簡約,一塵不染,牆上掛了一幅大概是年青的他和朗奴‧列根握手的合照,房間的樸素和整齊,大約這是這種人對血統純粹堅持的伸延展現。Jordan Bieber是個身高六呎四的鬼佬,以我的英文程度一定無法與他溝通,唯有寄望盧卡斯作我的翻譯吧,不過盧卡斯的確是一個可以信賴的年青人。837Please respect copyright.PENANAL6RCJ4irlE
837Please respect copyright.PENANAiPcOPmvAOb
Jordan Bieber對盧卡斯很熱情,似乎已是舊相識,至於我,他連眼也沒有看多眼,更莫論要問我叫什麼名字。837Please respect copyright.PENANAL2hW3D7l6F
837Please respect copyright.PENANAlnEaGkoRZL
盧卡斯問Copper之前拜託他的事情進展怎樣,接著Copper從櫃裏捧出一大疊文件,之後他們兩人在翻閱文件,我隱約看見文件裏夾有M記魚柳包的相片。由於他們全程用既快又密的英語交談,我就算有八吋大屌,也沒有插進去的餘地,百無聊賴間,盧卡斯示意我可以去食煙,於是我離開Jordan Bieber的辦公室,到了室外,建築物的入口處抽煙。837Please respect copyright.PENANABgfbAQ1ZFO
837Please respect copyright.PENANAVak6VCvZfn
837Please respect copyright.PENANAL6dP4zt3mK
這時候,很多大學生經過我面前,是轉堂時間吧?837Please respect copyright.PENANATQFLLPuFwn
837Please respect copyright.PENANAl5OugCDxRH
屌你老母!837Please respect copyright.PENANAEZ9GKFlTKn
837Please respect copyright.PENANA2eF8hEMkS3
屌你老母,現在我終於明白香港這一代的年青人為什麼都要出外昇學的理由,鬼妹的確是一種非常生物,儘管她們青春美麗的保鮮期都比較短(凡美麗的事物都是短暫的),年過二十五已經開始淍謝,但在她們十六開始盛放的時候,真是一種上天的殘酷恩典,如果世界上有神---講英語的God---,神一定是藉著鬼妹她們美麗的胴體向凡人展現生命的無限可能和燙熱,尤其是她們無邪的笑容,彷彿嘲弄著我們這一群中年男人早逝青春的庸俗,也彷彿嘲笑我們因幻想她們而暗自勃起……837Please respect copyright.PENANAEldIWbzoKE
837Please respect copyright.PENANAOhK1vDLFJF
但無論怎樣都好,抽著煙欣賞鬼妹無疑是人生一大享受。837Please respect copyright.PENANAADv6GEx5QC
837Please respect copyright.PENANARrFm4XADRM
在尼古丁作用下,我幻想著一個鬼妹波濤洶湧向我走來,然後隨隨便便對我說:「Do you want to Fuck?」837Please respect copyright.PENANAOVIz8o1wTF
837Please respect copyright.PENANA0671LceZIk
然後I say:「Yup!Fuck you ok!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAjihycOk84j
837Please respect copyright.PENANAAOEjfB7p9x
「Let Fuck!Go!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAFA9Wqb6eHU
837Please respect copyright.PENANA4PKxd0mjow
突然我醒了,一個年約十七、八歲的鬼妹的確向我走來,但她沒有波濤洶湧,相貌也非常普通(但普通的外表已經勝過大部份港女)。現實和想像之間,往往都是鴻溝。837Please respect copyright.PENANAxEIrZNpqxy
837Please respect copyright.PENANAXj7aaYnCFB
更奇怪是,忽然來到我面前的鬼妹以非常純正的廣東話對我說:「你就係盧卡斯個friend波叔?」837Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9GPtDxmzh
837Please respect copyright.PENANAjzDo2DsiOW
「Yes……Yup。」我本想廣東話用答,但舌頭不聽指令地吐出英語。大概這就是殖民地的基因作崇吧。837Please respect copyright.PENANA1OKua8AfBk
837Please respect copyright.PENANAh5VNfQD8ep
鬼妹拉起我隻手,說:「Follow me,我有野同你say!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAfjuCf4UCPG
837Please respect copyright.PENANAsRRg6HRBRm
講真!鬼妹隻手好大、好熱,但好滑。837Please respect copyright.PENANASrM6LjKp0t
837Please respect copyright.PENANAR80QDEOCO3
「做乜先?」837Please respect copyright.PENANAm37m6vigbA
837Please respect copyright.PENANAUExeiYCBU6
鬼妹把頭哄過來,我甚至嗅到她頭上洗髮水的香味,她面上有雀斑,唇厚,牙齒白得閃光,近看原來她有綠色的曈孔,老實說,如果她的眼大小小,鼻細小小,塊面瘦小小的話,她絕對是一個尤物。837Please respect copyright.PENANAswFjooVA41
837Please respect copyright.PENANAbgKG0FFSBp
「Jordan Bieber宜家比盧卡斯引開左,我要同你去steal野!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAMjV8iwhWVW
837Please respect copyright.PENANAYbzFzZZN8m
「steal野……?即係偷野?你叫乜名?」837Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9h8Z4MjvZ
837Please respect copyright.PENANAlftr51nmrL
「Emily Paxton,call me Emily!」837Please respect copyright.PENANAO231Xe7ftT
837Please respect copyright.PENANAOCojLh8tro
837Please respect copyright.PENANAAdXcDVDUBd
青青校園裏,我和鬼妹Emily偷偷溜進一幢非常古老的建築物內……837Please respect copyright.PENANAaY8DkXzNQk
837Please respect copyright.PENANAAS8xAQn3eh
臨闖入古老建築物前,Emily告訴我這所大學是共濟會辦的。837Please respect copyright.PENANANVSwbx1HHE
837Please respect copyright.PENANAevYajYEuxT
共濟會?有什麼關係?837Please respect copyright.PENANA03l2BzfyLp
837Please respect copyright.PENANAwiUzq4Pew0
太多了,又共濟會,又三K黨、又法輪功、又鄭多燕、又外星人、又乜又物,究竟那個才是……
837Please respect copyright.PENANAVSJIugNl6M
837Please respect copyright.PENANAEyRgZ7k8ch