806Please respect copyright.PENANA3GpWs41c1g
806Please respect copyright.PENANAZhnpgmSja0
從前,一個養過貓的朋友告訴過我,動物都有一種天性,就是:不作死就會死。806Please respect copyright.PENANA0CISuv1PV7
806Please respect copyright.PENANAJqR0aJ3mD5
起初我對他這句話一笑置之,始終我又無養寵物,關我撚事。那個時候我所領會到的反而是另一件事,就是人類真是好撚煩的動物,為求存在感,可以捉住其他人,不管對方意願如何,都不厭其煩地說同一番話一次,一次,又一次,真係煩撚過閪。806Please respect copyright.PENANAl3VNqiaEwm
806Please respect copyright.PENANAtm8JAtVRBn
不過事後,我卻發現那個人所說的話是有點道理的,更驚訝是這不局限於貓,其他有智慧的動物,甚至是人,都會有這個特性。806Please respect copyright.PENANALT02uItDgT
806Please respect copyright.PENANABnONOzNuwy
最先讓我發現這一點,是在一個叫胡紹權的男人身上。雖然他是隻半人半獸的生物,也扑過小紅……806Please respect copyright.PENANAg0K4cKhlxc
806Please respect copyright.PENANAkQwfaEcCR2
說起這件事,我再次感覺到自己真的已經原諒了他,要原諒一個人確實是不容易,最大原因是因為即使你已經原諒了一個人,也忘記了,又或是根本不知道自己是怎樣原諒他。806Please respect copyright.PENANAw5vJHuliBD
806Please respect copyright.PENANApbN25VZova
屌那媽,離題鳥。806Please respect copyright.PENANAhe6rV7uCRS
806Please respect copyright.PENANAO1zKbdo1Yu
說回阿權的事跡。話說是這樣的,公司有老鼠其實不是什麼祕密,也非什麼怪事,始終M記是一間餐廳,所以幾乎每間分店都會有,間中跑出一兩隻是很正常的事,為免牠們跑出店面,我們都會放三四個誘捕器而非用毒藥,要是吃了毒藥又臨時死不去,出到店面才反肚的話,可是會令我非常頭痕(雖然揹鑊的通常都是店長或一些小經理,但作為他們上頭既本人都要寫大一堆report)。806Please respect copyright.PENANAneDME1qELx
806Please respect copyright.PENANA4nnyeKLSHi
老鼠出現的問題是不會完結的,因為牠們總是源源不絕,而且無孔不入,可幸誘捕器總能好好發揮作用,一波又一波的老鼠家族通常一來到都好快會冚家剷。806Please respect copyright.PENANAaLhf3EJivj
806Please respect copyright.PENANAMeFNc0PKBg
但這只限於「通常」的情況下,因為有某些分店的鼠患是好鳩犀利的,可幸在我管的區裡就只有一間。806Please respect copyright.PENANAd4X1ovzssx
806Please respect copyright.PENANAIPfECbMPbL
老鼠的問題在這家分店一直沒有好轉,這與那裡員工的衛生程度有著好大關係,但這並非最大的問題,它的工作效率與服務態度等等都有著缺陷性的低落。806Please respect copyright.PENANAq5JYhcHOk3
806Please respect copyright.PENANAhy11s0AakL
低迷是源自那店店長——Eric上位後才開始的。806Please respect copyright.PENANARFHY9imiK0
806Please respect copyright.PENANAQqp1oDLMg1
Eric是個約三十幾歲的風流自走炮(花花公子),全間店都是小妹妹又或者靚女,唔係青春就大波,唔係大波就長腿,總之個撚個都好鳩正。806Please respect copyright.PENANAxe9YWQZeOH
806Please respect copyright.PENANA4nzeDiJ0IW
所以保守估計,當中至少有五成員工都與他有著非一般的關係。就感覺上,我認為他請人回來是為了扑,而不是工作。806Please respect copyright.PENANA7YmlMKBKdz
806Please respect copyright.PENANArpst5TO9fj
雖然我可以耍些小手段讓他收皮,但我沒有這樣的打算,根本沒有必要為這個蛋散出太多力。806Please respect copyright.PENANA7YMXD81nLd
806Please respect copyright.PENANA8yfYzR2WtN
所以我心生一計去解決這個問題。806Please respect copyright.PENANA0yDySo3bR8
806Please respect copyright.PENANAHLovTT5Uda
首先派我手下的粗口星人阿權每幾日屌佢鑊金(想起來,其實阿權都幾做得野,又識補位,是個不錯的副手。),然後我就得閒去同佢傾下計。806Please respect copyright.PENANAo10hi4lRMw
806Please respect copyright.PENANAUZtgTMRA7u
一個唱紅面,一個唱白面,好快eric的情況就有好轉,手下的娘子兵發揮正常功能,也沒有串咀與黑面,實在可喜可賀。806Please respect copyright.PENANAuKaCkFzm62
806Please respect copyright.PENANA8krQSIj21m
但低迷時期所積下來的老鼠大軍還是沒有解決,為了解決這最後的問題,我找個朋友訂造了一組「有入無出摩天輪式誘捕器」,它的最大特式是夠大,夠舒服。806Please respect copyright.PENANAz7U7wGQYtw
806Please respect copyright.PENANA0NrSEEDex7
用法就是放入食之不盡的食物,讓籠裡像天國一樣,加上多個古怪的機關,使老鼠樂而忘返,引誘更多同類落搭。806Please respect copyright.PENANACD327fTUeg
806Please respect copyright.PENANABNs4VJQ5nW
引入這個裝置後,果然非常有效,第一日已經捉到五大隻老鼠。806Please respect copyright.PENANAr1ImM0hqoJ
806Please respect copyright.PENANAv64yuokCaN
而問題就在這個時候出現了。806Please respect copyright.PENANAKSI4x8X7qC
806Please respect copyright.PENANA7ycuZy9jSA
當晚我和阿權親自去檢查捕鼠的戰果,一拿出籠,店裡全女班的員工一見到裡面幾隻又大又肥的老鼠,無一不被嚇得尖叫。806Please respect copyright.PENANAUGbMexp8q1
806Please respect copyright.PENANApk3cOW9QWF
阿權聽到囡囡們的慘叫聲好像痴左線一樣,開始拎住個籠周圍嚇她們,隨後更玩到過鳩哂火,想捉隻出來向囡囡們展示自己的勇氣認叻。806Please respect copyright.PENANAcGdx699ZpF
806Please respect copyright.PENANA27Ru8fX65N
拎出黎唔係問題,只係佢拎住隻老鼠變撚到好似凱撒大帝咁,係咁將手上面隻野左舞右舞,之後重問班囡囡:806Please respect copyright.PENANAw9hpAsnULZ
806Please respect copyright.PENANAH9WQVK7gsH
「你地知唔知啊,以前我地窮起上黎捱餓果時啊,真係唔理得咁多,乜鳩野都好,有得食就食架喇!所以我以前連老鼠都食過啊。」806Please respect copyright.PENANA4OM7laX98s
806Please respect copyright.PENANAbvRlHdFPaF
其中一個長腿妹即刻有少少驚又閪住面咁話:806Please respect copyright.PENANAowUDsFnraz
806Please respect copyright.PENANAqaMkV5mShc
「我點知你係咪講真啊。」806Please respect copyright.PENANAUezgdGs52B
806Please respect copyright.PENANAiOlBU1gRlZ
聽到依句,我就知下一秒會發生什麼事,唉屌,今次仆街鳥……806Please respect copyright.PENANApkibyq4qS0
806Please respect copyright.PENANAokvYq74JIt
果然下一秒,我就聽到「炸~~~」一聲!之後就傳出令人心寒的「吱!」一聲長嗚,隨後是一眾女人的尖叫聲。806Please respect copyright.PENANARE0fU6J1Jh
806Please respect copyright.PENANAiym25sfInO
屌佢老母個甩毛閪,條撚樣眼都唔眨就將隻老鼠掉鳩左落炸爐……當我走到過去想屌柒佢既時候,我聞到有陣重臭過爛屎既腐臭味。806Please respect copyright.PENANAtl031TDx7T
806Please respect copyright.PENANAx7ozB8QTuW
再望望阿權,佢望住炸爐入面浮面的綠色泡,已經青都面埋,睇黎已經知道自己玩大左。806Please respect copyright.PENANAI9MEIwUgAv
806Please respect copyright.PENANAy1lwZBqcg4
算喇,唔鳩緊要,我本來都無諗過即場屌佢,至少佢假假地都係我條靚,係依度算係一人之下,萬人之上。806Please respect copyright.PENANAUPh1GHAimx
806Please respect copyright.PENANAiXkT0Rutq5
點知下一秒,我屌爆佢都母個閪!條友竟然比d屎味嚇到戇鳩鳩,亂左方寸,唔鳩小心整撚跌左個老鼠籠。806Please respect copyright.PENANAmlTZAGHDLQ
806Please respect copyright.PENANA4gV6vmznrj
「嘭!」之後,就是我的一聲怒吼:806Please respect copyright.PENANAG1u0XY7i4C
806Please respect copyright.PENANACafWB72PfR
「胡紹權!我屌你老母,玩玩玩,玩乜撚野啊?」806Please respect copyright.PENANAPzKinWT4HV
806Please respect copyright.PENANAr79ABdS28e
屌你老母!但屌黎都無用,個籠一落地,四隻老鼠即刻快過支箭閃人,已經追唔鳩返。好彩當時已經關店,否則真係大撚鳩柒閪鑊。806Please respect copyright.PENANAJeyzt8Zl7G
806Please respect copyright.PENANA77zCIukKQK
由於之前講過,在場我最大,而阿權又係我既人,所以我屌完佢一句之後,再無人敢亂講野,然後換左缸油,求其消個毒就當無事發生過。806Please respect copyright.PENANA0a9aFDpBnm
806Please respect copyright.PENANApouNBqBMKn
就這樣,屌完阿權一鑊金我在他身上真正明白到,乜野叫做「唔作死就會死」,然後才發現到,原來這樣的事每日都在自己身邊不斷重演著。806Please respect copyright.PENANALcWWkI80By
806Please respect copyright.PENANAmBd2IL9KAZ
但我萬萬沒想到,去到今日,終於輪到自己親自奶野……806Please respect copyright.PENANAbCUO3ODqkw
806Please respect copyright.PENANA7ArU6LYjcc
806Please respect copyright.PENANA0EOIbT28aM
回到現在,回答完賣菜佬的問題:「In fact, I can't call this is a business. Because I am a M記 Manager.」806Please respect copyright.PENANADEXmstjymG
806Please respect copyright.PENANAI0TW8Rbqpu
我感覺到一刻自己的心好像被抽乾一樣,下一秒心臟即時極速跳動,全身的毛管都如同人浪一樣從腳至頭,下至上豎起。806Please respect copyright.PENANAwmAJgLbxIk
806Please respect copyright.PENANANqRS2akSqN
斜眼瞄到阿花那青綠色的咀臉,我即時將焦點抽開,然後又發現坐在對面的三人又呆著地望鳩住我。806Please respect copyright.PENANAqIgY8deHii
806Please respect copyright.PENANAXptsEZs1tV
也許我真的做了無法挽回的事呢……哈哈。806Please respect copyright.PENANACb1KLxlzKJ
806Please respect copyright.PENANAnWouuDKtxU
若有人嚴刑逼供問我為什麼要這樣做的話,我大概也不能真心說出個理由,因為我就是單純想這樣做,單純想攪屎棍啊……806Please respect copyright.PENANAQHkf4IQR8n
806Please respect copyright.PENANAhO9i2vT3wl
不過,深入思考一下,也許這與我坐呆了,被冷落久了有關。人無聊起來的時候,往往都會做出一些爆炸性的事來獲得存在感。而我也是個人,所以難免會這樣……806Please respect copyright.PENANAjGFXVRczF5
806Please respect copyright.PENANAsrgR8nSXv8
但這樣屎忽痕一下,可能會撤底地害死我……又或是已經害死了。806Please respect copyright.PENANAOqBi5KRVOu
806Please respect copyright.PENANAbVWqQAjIST
下一秒,那個本來一臉冷酷的銀行佬臉色忽然變得唔對路,然後用名牌手拍抹抹額上的汗,有點緊張地問:806Please respect copyright.PENANAehKE3A8KPp
806Please respect copyright.PENANA1oYAt4WKxw
「你怎樣可以證明自己真的在M記工作?(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANAfH0YU4Db9a
806Please respect copyright.PENANAFjq5v4pphR
這個問法和語氣都非常不自然,讓我有點錯覺,以為剛剛自誇是美園電腦創辦人,冒充「鏢雞」一樣。806Please respect copyright.PENANA5rHAzhrzVF
806Please respect copyright.PENANA8us5l03Ta6
簡單點來說,銀行佬的語氣是對一個衝大頭的人專有的質問。806Please respect copyright.PENANAzHJB9C4vAu
806Please respect copyright.PENANAqzIsVBKTHX
但我可只是如實回答,而且自報是個M記的經理,叫我該怎樣證明,該怎樣回答這個問題?806Please respect copyright.PENANAZmNOwtyWAn
806Please respect copyright.PENANA0LSy0kGIrv
唔通要我由做兼職整包開始講起?我唔認為佢會有興趣知道。806Please respect copyright.PENANALsS4Ao5wpP
806Please respect copyright.PENANAuYp03nm7TU
想不到緊接著這句話,一把老邁沉實的聲音卻忽然開口,似是叫住那銀行佬一樣:806Please respect copyright.PENANAxbyeymjhr3
806Please respect copyright.PENANAduSM6opb79
「貝克。(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANANiHjTYgqGQ
806Please respect copyright.PENANAZevrSvRUFN
聲音主人是跨國大企業「大貓重工」的超級高層,也是我所在這圍枱五個人裡面輩份最高,握權最大,說話最有力量的一個,先前大段時間,全枱的話題都一直圍著他作中心旋轉。806Please respect copyright.PENANAbsdKulMd3T
806Please respect copyright.PENANAhobdJWoVyZ
然後他又繼續保持著絕不含糊的語氣,緩緩說道:806Please respect copyright.PENANAAOnMG0NsFo
806Please respect copyright.PENANAElDoebG9AK
「你這樣質問我們的朋友,實在有點失禮了。Mr Bob,請原諒貝克的失禮,他只是有點不知所措才會說這樣的話來。(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANAIjkeKjK1dy
806Please respect copyright.PENANAZw7k2Iw4ri
喂,我有會錯意嗎?他這是在為我解圍嗎?一個跨國企業,座擁幾十億身家的超級富豪為我解圍嗎?806Please respect copyright.PENANAbX9NbqCoJj
806Please respect copyright.PENANAW7BobjzCxv
讓我開始有懷疑,剛剛錯口介紹自己是超人或是蝙蝠俠了嗎?還是M記的經理原來擁有著與超人同樣的地位?806Please respect copyright.PENANAB4VVC7vgsO
806Please respect copyright.PENANA87LiyZ3wlR
不論是哪個答案都好,都是痴撚鳩線,讓人一頭霧水。806Please respect copyright.PENANAcnQ1Jl6Hk8
806Please respect copyright.PENANA4vlyrHMcft
聽完大貓的一番話,沒有人敢開口說話,然後大貓又唱一口手上的酒,滿臉皺紋的他皺一皺眉,帶點善意的語氣問阿花:806Please respect copyright.PENANA1SQVMGcVTH
806Please respect copyright.PENANAtRqZLrsNa5
「有點唐突,Mrs Chu啊,為什麼你不好好介紹這位貴重的朋友,讓我們都差點冷落他了。(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANAeq72zSsT6L
806Please respect copyright.PENANA2i9vv97UPu
我覺得自己應該被抬舉到一個不知名的程度了,又或是……我行走江湖多年的直覺好像帶來了另一個答案。806Please respect copyright.PENANALA0WniSC4W
806Please respect copyright.PENANACCZdbEOMbe
一個人忽然客客氣氣,離不開只有兩個原因,一是示弱,二是保持鎮定。806Please respect copyright.PENANAxHwV4ORi2w
806Please respect copyright.PENANA85weYJdzYY
兩個情況都大多在講數時會見到。806Please respect copyright.PENANAJyfPh0jZWZ
806Please respect copyright.PENANArD7ttdasY7
前者就是當其中一方被鏈住春袋的時候,反應離不開,不是發神經,就是表現得好客氣。806Please respect copyright.PENANAXYfXfflDGl
806Please respect copyright.PENANABzDXrYdg34
後者就是其中一方被另一方無意拋疾時,往往都會變得稍微客氣一點,保持鎮定觀望大勢,以冷靜應對。806Please respect copyright.PENANAt4DRfVjS17
806Please respect copyright.PENANAOyeaI3RlPF
大貓應該就是後者了。806Please respect copyright.PENANAOe3GCy1CGx
806Please respect copyright.PENANAEsAI5pWwoZ
阿花被這樣一問,也能保持鎮定,大方微笑地回答,不愧是個在大陸黃業打滾了十幾廿年的老江湖:806Please respect copyright.PENANAZIGlOOwtxl
806Please respect copyright.PENANAYTFOV9flNV
「啊,抱歉,Bob不太常與我談討工作上的事情,而且我也不清楚他是否願意表明自己的身份呢。(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANAIPJbVHHpCM
806Please respect copyright.PENANALNLEVSF1r9
這是經過思考所得出的客觀,而且合理的答案。806Please respect copyright.PENANAadVzkQR2N1
806Please respect copyright.PENANAGYZdg2EQn0
大貓點點頭,扶一扶自己的金絲眼鏡,將焦點轉到我身上,繼續保持著善意詢問:806Please respect copyright.PENANAXA8sMF0nu0
806Please respect copyright.PENANAeLj8quE61w
「來了位難得的朋友,實在使我久違地有點興奮呢。Mr Bob,可以讓我先問一個問題嗎?(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANA2Aj6sIamGx
806Please respect copyright.PENANAHrRDbncRYf
估計沒有錯,他明顯企圖試探我的底細,當然我也沒有拒絕的理由,必先搞清楚是什麼原因讓他不得不保持謹慎。806Please respect copyright.PENANAuD6w6JqIWi
806Please respect copyright.PENANAd6C5VpdnTU
「Oh…Why not?」我隱悔微笑,大方地答允。806Please respect copyright.PENANAXOcX49W88p
806Please respect copyright.PENANAlmsgHDq0VM
然後,他單刀直入地試探我的個人立場以及意願:「你今天是以個人身份來的嗎?(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANAAdwEtUHrOG
806Please respect copyright.PENANASyxzuWQ2Zz
這樣問,很大原因是他希望得知我有沒有代表什麼組織來到今天的聚會,看來答案已經呼之欲出。806Please respect copyright.PENANAmwXefoCYWN
806Please respect copyright.PENANA90QZGfJyLG
M記就是他們所避忌的。806Please respect copyright.PENANAKFXSCtYKRV
806Please respect copyright.PENANAlpHkwpchi7
這是個必須慎重回答的問題,假如我表示自己是以個人身份出席,即可解讀成阿花將我這個重要人物邀請來,而我就變成了M記的暫時代理人。806Please respect copyright.PENANA76av9tjmLU
806Please respect copyright.PENANA3iqcG6p1Bf
在這個場合亂認代理人,可不會發生什麼好事,否認才是正確的答案:806Please respect copyright.PENANAzDjl3pk71J
806Please respect copyright.PENANA2Hn1hqaJyO
「Ah, no, I'm just as Mrs Chu's companion to attend tonight's dinner .」806Please respect copyright.PENANAJIJgmQc2dq
806Please respect copyright.PENANAIU34I1SFXi
當然大貓也沒有因此鬆一口氣,為下一步更探的鑽探做好準備:806Please respect copyright.PENANAL0r2jql3eq
806Please respect copyright.PENANAtCky8BkQ9y
「噢,那就真的太可惜了。若給貴公司知道Mr Bob你來到了今晚的聚會,大概會做成什麼不便吧?(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANAdetu2n15NK
806Please respect copyright.PENANAZX1VMsnP9c
「No problem.」我爽快地回答。806Please respect copyright.PENANAud5UZkM4fk
大貓這隻老狐狸即是低調地笑一下,應該認為我是M記派來的斥候。他自覺得已經掌握到一定程度的情報,就稍微安心下來,就說兩句客套話:806Please respect copyright.PENANAspASrzJ2WY
806Please respect copyright.PENANAWBXuIqDaEw
「多年來我都對貴公司所知不多……今天卻難得與你見面,實在難免勾起了一點好奇心呢。(英語)」806Please respect copyright.PENANAVqB9ouBDWs
806Please respect copyright.PENANAHoewdwOXHI
為免被進一步質問更多自己不知道的問題,也考慮到他們對M記好像保持著尊重又害怕的謹慎態度,我開始摸索到自己掌握著多大的權力,就決定大膽斬斷他的發問權:806Please respect copyright.PENANAYyc2h94sZE
806Please respect copyright.PENANAsHvKvIDeLI
「I will like to join your conversation, but you should also know about my belongs enterprises, so I can not say more about this.」806Please respect copyright.PENANALEi4BtuwW0
806Please respect copyright.PENANAUPe6eVHPe5
說話當中,我盡量保持善意,留個好印象給他們,讓等等可以有機會隨意插話。806Please respect copyright.PENANAUrjTFoMC7P
806Please respect copyright.PENANANmcWCNPG0A
我開始感受到M記就似是為我套上一身肌肉一樣,令我有本錢在今晚為所欲為,而且得到大大的尊重。806Please respect copyright.PENANARi1txI944w
806Please respect copyright.PENANAPZv6YqbGH2
可能阿花也注定到這一點,就在此時發言:806Please respect copyright.PENANA8D8wh932hG
806Please respect copyright.PENANA4rr4cbDFdz
「也對,我們可不是來這裡談公事的,讓我們繼續放鬆放鬆,但抱歉,我們先失陪一會兒。」806Please respect copyright.PENANAh67EAYhiS2
806Please respect copyright.PENANAUlZzy7TDr1
從阿花的眼神,我知道她腦裡面已經盤算著大輪利用我M記經理身份找優勢的計劃,大貓點一點頭,我與她隨即離席。806Please respect copyright.PENANACR83rWwgRb
806Please respect copyright.PENANAAby5ElZqoj
離開大廳的時候,我微微回頭,才發現原來不只是我們所在的一枱,旁邊幾枱的人們眼光,都有意無意注視在我身上。806Please respect copyright.PENANAa7HBO2UrUw
806Please respect copyright.PENANAN867bzXPDb
看來M記應該有些不可告人的驚人祕密,但拜此所賜,令我這個M記區域經理都可以係共濟會有頭有面……實在係痴撚線!806Please respect copyright.PENANANDz37Lq7FF
806Please respect copyright.PENANApmDF3nW4V0
806Please respect copyright.PENANAL549BoyZNt
頂你個肺!捱左咁多年,總算捱出頭喇!今次我實有風駛盡利,惦鳩硬喇!!
806Please respect copyright.PENANAkIWmQSrV7A
806Please respect copyright.PENANAnEcQAXbsJv