I'm a horrible person.172Please respect copyright.PENANAKZwjJL1fzv
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.172Please respect copyright.PENANAFaq4pY4cII
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.172Please respect copyright.PENANAQksfhZpVP5
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.172Please respect copyright.PENANAd4SDxYcGRa
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.172Please respect copyright.PENANAln0nWb8EJC
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.172Please respect copyright.PENANAGyjtWj4ZgM
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.172Please respect copyright.PENANAdntl8J6NcW
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.172Please respect copyright.PENANASaeOvmTXbw
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.172Please respect copyright.PENANAEKNQgBkomk
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.172Please respect copyright.PENANAf8QrZB8Agi
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.172Please respect copyright.PENANAxMgAWQLSvH
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.172Please respect copyright.PENANAAInzAcJtYV
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.172Please respect copyright.PENANAjRxtMPfeiW
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.172Please respect copyright.PENANArPQ5XHx7i7
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.172Please respect copyright.PENANA3L7hSJ0nJL
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?172Please respect copyright.PENANA2YeB6SsD9i
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.172Please respect copyright.PENANAXdW9zRukET
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.172Please respect copyright.PENANATXUVF7lpzg
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.172Please respect copyright.PENANAaLJIS49Z3z
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.172Please respect copyright.PENANAwVGkFb18x1
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.172Please respect copyright.PENANA7Tej7yD7Go
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.172Please respect copyright.PENANA1WAhcl2ece
Of being lonely.172Please respect copyright.PENANAN84h9GYqbt
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.172Please respect copyright.PENANAVpf1r7yB2H
172Please respect copyright.PENANA820BRsoFev
So I take comfort in my own world.172Please respect copyright.PENANAHmj6sSyy4z
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.172Please respect copyright.PENANAwyOyo6AFcY
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.172Please respect copyright.PENANAWW2sCl35vP
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.172Please respect copyright.PENANATqhJnqZ3h1
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.172Please respect copyright.PENANA4s1oUOWzo6
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.172Please respect copyright.PENANAI7SyynfuAL
172Please respect copyright.PENANAwI8tVZLltl
I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.172Please respect copyright.PENANAmOslfqAZKv
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?172Please respect copyright.PENANAjZbefrP3U9
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.172Please respect copyright.PENANALp6TjqJRRr
172Please respect copyright.PENANA9fEWyAjIVj
What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.172Please respect copyright.PENANAcivjnil3Ao
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.172Please respect copyright.PENANATB54TBEZHn
I shouldn't even have been born.172Please respect copyright.PENANAkrsnHn39Z3
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.172Please respect copyright.PENANAFcZHTwOjik
....172Please respect copyright.PENANASYV6OfUXHI
[Deleted passage]172Please respect copyright.PENANAwpuH0A9Hd6