During the festive season myself and Matty do all the things couples are supposed to do; decorating the tree, drinking mulled wine, watching Christmas films and making minced pies.
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The big day finally arrives and before spending it with Matty's family we open our gifts. He gets me a necklace that matches my ring. He places it around my neck, smiling. I feel bad just getting him art stuff and aftershave. Ross gets a gift sent to me, explaining how I did save his life, and therefore it's only right I get something in return. I smile it's a first edition Wuthering heights.
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At the end of the day, when I can get a quiet moment I call Jay. After several drinks I speak with him on the phone.
"I'm opening it now" I laugh.
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"Christ I hope you love them" he says drunkenly.
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I unwrap it, imagining him wrap it up delicately.
"Hey did you wrap this ?" I ask.
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"No I paid the shop to do it" he laughs.
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I get to the end of the package and I find a small box. Opening it up I see a set of diamond earrings. I'm breathless. They're truly beautiful.
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"Okay?" He hesitates.
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"Wow they are" I say.
"I can't accept them" I add.
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"No they're yours" he says.
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"They're beautiful" I admit thrown.
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"I have treated you terribly. And you have been nothing short of wonderful to me. You have been a learning curve for me, a chance to understand myself better. You have inspired me, dazzled me, angered me even and I have loved you through all of it. You are perfection in a life of imperfection. You deserve them" he says simply.
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"Thank you, you know you're words mean the most to me" I tell him.
"More than any diamond" I say.
"Although these two are particularly beautiful" I laugh.
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He clears his throat.
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"Taylor have you had a good day?" He changes the subject feeling embarrassed.
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"Yes, have you" I ask.
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"Yes now I'm speaking to you" he laughs.
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"What can I get you as a late Christmas present?" I say gazing at my earrings
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"Oh you really walk straight into these all the time" he sighs
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"What" I laugh.
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"I would like a kiss" he says
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"Just a kiss ?" I ask
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"Well yeah. And for you to be mine" he says.
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I giggle and I can tell he's smiling down the phone.
After talking for a bit longer we say goodbye taking ages to hang up on each other.
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To be his. As I put away my earrings I imagine what it could be like to be with him, how he would love me and how he would annoy me. I already know how my body reacts to his. But to be with somebody, to spend time with him and to love him. Are those things that I want?
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***
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As New Year's Eve comes by we all meet at a pub called the ship who specialise in cheap drinks and loud music.
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I see Ross first when we arrive. He has had a hair cut and it looks great. It's not too short but it looks cool. He's also been lifting weights again and it shows. I hug him and he returns my embrace.
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"I've missed you" he sighs.
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"Thanks for my present" I smile.
I know he wants to kiss me, but doesn't he just holds onto my arms smiling.
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"I got you something back" I smile and hand him a wrapped up envelope. He opens it up. Smiles and hugs me again, he doesn't care this time he kisses my cheek.
"Who can I take with me ?" He asks smiling.
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I bought him tickets to a show. He likes the classics and it's a dramatisation of Wuthering heights.
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"I mean that's up to you Ross" I smile.
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"Can I take you" he rephrases.
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"Yes I was hoping you'd say that" I laugh.
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"Nerds" Jay says, I feel him behind me. His closeness makes me yearn to touch him. I realise I've missed him.
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I turn around to face him. He looks at my ears briefly and sees his diamond earrings, he softens and hugs me.
"Nice dress" he whispers in my ear.
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He pulls away and I want be in his arms.
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"Where are you both going then" he smiles leaning on the bar.
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"Taylor booked us tickets to see Wuthering heights" Ross smiles.
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"Oh nice" Jay smirks.
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"Don't worry I got you something too" I smile.
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I hand him a gift box. He looks taken aback and I brush his arm with my hand.
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He opens it up to see a pair of cuff links.
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"I also got you this" I say handing him an envelope.
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Ross gets distracted by Rach and ends up talking to Matty.
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"I thought cuff links was maybe a bit generic. Even though I saw them and literally thought of you straight away" I laugh.
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He eyes me and opens the envelope.
"I hope you like it" I say.
"We can go together" I say.
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"This is the most somebodies ever done for me Tay. I'd love to go to a gallery with you" he says smiling.
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He hugs me again. I feel different with him, closer. Like I know what to expect with him.
"What are you drinking" I say.
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"Brandy. Let me get you a drink" he says facing the bar.
He orders for us.
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"They suit you" he smiles looking at my earrings.
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"You have good taste" I smirk.
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We spend the rest of the night with everybody. I realise though that I'm falling, or I have already fallen for somebody I shouldn't have. I gaze at him occasionally speaking to Ryan or Pippa or knocking back female advances from random women and I see a different person. He's friendly, still moody and mysterious but I realise I love that about him. He scrapes his hair back and checks his phone. He looks up from his phone and see's me watching him.
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***Jays POV***
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I stride over to her, as if I needed any more of a cue than to have her watching over me all night long. Her beautiful eyes taking in every inch of my body. I feel so connected to her now. There's no way I'm letting her go, should she finally give me a chance I will not blow it. I can show her who I can be for her, now.
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"It's nearly a new year Taylor" I say to her.
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Matty has capitalised her all night long, holding her and touching her. Do I blame him ? Not at all. When she is mine and she will be I will keep her with me all the time.
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"What's your resolution?" She smiles up at me.
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"To prove to you that I'm worthy of your complete and utter devotion" I say in a whisper.
"What's yours?" I ask casually.
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"Be more decisive, seize the moment more" she laughs
"Generic I know" she smiles.
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"No I like seizing the moment" I say to her and wink.
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When the clock strikes for the new year I cheers her glass, and pull her into me. Everybody is kissing around us. I go for her cheek and she quickly positions herself to kiss my lips. She kisses me seductively, her lips brushing over mine slowly.
"Taylor, I love you" I tell her. Complete shock and desire comes over me. I need her again now.
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"I love you, Jay" she whispers in my ear and then she pulls away smiling. I want to hold onto her but she disappears quickly into the crowd.
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