I'm a horrible person.164Please respect copyright.PENANAGoBzb8TbL4
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.164Please respect copyright.PENANAvLKww1kfJP
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.164Please respect copyright.PENANApe3dIV8Q8b
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.164Please respect copyright.PENANA6wWdXbLB9S
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.164Please respect copyright.PENANAnE4qqJi9cc
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.164Please respect copyright.PENANAq4n7yUhkpr
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.164Please respect copyright.PENANA8Xt59oGFdB
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.164Please respect copyright.PENANATjHeq3fGNA
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.164Please respect copyright.PENANA2V1wLnEf1J
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.164Please respect copyright.PENANAr0oiCqLCkJ
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.164Please respect copyright.PENANAuQGedYckR1
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.164Please respect copyright.PENANArCEpFbG30O
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.164Please respect copyright.PENANAqZr1HGykba
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.164Please respect copyright.PENANAAVhSVEPor9
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.164Please respect copyright.PENANAIMozZORiNa
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?164Please respect copyright.PENANAs1XkuCwiNb
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.164Please respect copyright.PENANA84kWg2NJSB
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.164Please respect copyright.PENANAGtNvKdCXiF
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.164Please respect copyright.PENANAUPbo8mOlOW
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.164Please respect copyright.PENANAG7UoqjCT7c
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.164Please respect copyright.PENANARCuQ1Vnmph
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.164Please respect copyright.PENANAEa61MYrvmJ
Of being lonely.164Please respect copyright.PENANAnOne3skxls
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.164Please respect copyright.PENANAeJoHC7upOq
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So I take comfort in my own world.164Please respect copyright.PENANA84BanH6BHF
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.164Please respect copyright.PENANAK2dLIbt95V
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.164Please respect copyright.PENANA584PfYenZK
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.164Please respect copyright.PENANAPQYBzdTuoU
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.164Please respect copyright.PENANAfGHWlk6SCa
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.164Please respect copyright.PENANA5XxdwLvV7t
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I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.164Please respect copyright.PENANASidP4LGFfj
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?164Please respect copyright.PENANA0rz6Q9Zb4x
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.164Please respect copyright.PENANAimJlfuKZGn
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What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.164Please respect copyright.PENANA00708uWtWF
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.164Please respect copyright.PENANAlQgeqpnjIF
I shouldn't even have been born.164Please respect copyright.PENANAYuSKiGNtSu
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.164Please respect copyright.PENANA43qWorZe34
....164Please respect copyright.PENANAYs1Uovf1NA
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