Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures
Ganondorf broke from his seal on a fateful, dark evening. Many fates unwound that night, but this tale of good and evil demands focus of one in particular, the prelude to a struggle.
He rode his stallion of midnight to Castle Town, the fog parted slightly, enough so that any who looked upon him scurried back inside the city. Yes, he looked sufficiently evil, but that was not enough.
Ganondorf dismounted his vengeful steed, and turned to the capital of Hyrule. Times changed since last he walked the darkened streets, the occasional lamp permissive to the eye's wonder of the signs outside the shops that littered the town.
There was plenty of time for him to clean this city later. He passed many night owls, most had some sort of device that hugged their ears and arched over their heads.
Ganondorf saw someone opening an odd, smooth surfaced body, Ganondorf would think that it was comprised mostly of magic, the rest would be water and whatever the wheels constituted these days. He made inquiries of a gym, and went in the direction indicated.
A bell announced the door's opening, Ganondorf was surprised to hear it, as he expected silence, but to see something that was not strange and unnaturally bright was mildly heartening.
He turned to the voice of a girl talking. He was told there was a gym here.
Blonde in a white t-shirt, orange skirt, and brown boots. It was strange how he noticed colors now, but seeing endless white made him appreciate the variety found in Hyrule. She stepped behind the desk and gestured for him to approach as she continued to talk to no one but her light up rectangle that had more magic than the average Hylian ever did.
"Uh-huh, yeah, sure, we deliver to businesses." she seemed to be receiving echoes through the device, and Ganondorf instantly had many questions, if ever she stopped talking to the person who was, he surmised, somehow linked her to another, similar device somewhere else.
"Ha, ha, I'll see you then!" with that conversation concluded, the blonde who now manned the desk turned to him with eyes that gave him many flashbacks. Blue eyes an arm's length from him were always the last things he saw before closing his, before reopening them to endless light, "Welcome to Golden Triangle Pizza, how may I help you?"
"May I use your gym?"
The girl smiled, though she seemed to struggle against it, "I take it you don't mean the virtual gym linked to this location? I'm bad at directions, so I'll just use my phone here." she opened up that magical construct and slid her finger along the surface, "Savvy, where's the gym?"
In reply, the phone said, after a brief ring, "Out the door and all the way to the left!"
"That was hopefully detailed enough, but I remember a sign with weights hanging above the door-"
"Thank you." he turned quickly, interrupting her, and marched toward the door.
Ganondorf passed various shops along his way, and five minutes later he saw the building, which was the only building with signs like the ones back in the olden days, with wooden cutouts of an item representative of their services.
He opened the door of his destination and looked around the room. There were a five other people in the room, one was that guy he got bad directions from.
"I believe we've met." Ganondorf growled.
"Oh, dude! You meant this kind of gym!"
"Yes, I meant this kind of gym."
"You didn't look like you need a gym!" the kid said defensively, "I thought you meant the game!"
Ganondorf didn't reply, instead he removed his headgear.
"You, uh...can keep the headphones." Ganondorf winced at the name, but donned the strange object as the boy extracted a box from his pocket and nodded approvingly at the music he heard. There was something he saw through the glass that seemed to be moving, the black paper inside had two rolls, one was larger than the other and only getting bigger, while the other was thin, "You can rewind it-"
"Nettlesome fool!" Ganondorf held his ears as a whiny, demonic voice whispered curses in his ears, he was sure it was a challenger for his position, so he braced himself and willed the voice to silent, and eventually it died, all at once. Ganondorf then noticed that the paper was wound around one spool more, while another was left bare, "Oh."
Ganondorf realized that it somehow restored the paper to the beginning, but what demon was singing in the music, he didn't know.
"There, now the tape's back at the beginning."
"Ah." Ganondorf nodded and turned to his goal.
There were several weights, and no way he could fail.
Within a day, he transformed the castle, and had the gym moved to Ganondorf's Tower, he even stole some red head's pizza, though the girl from the pizza place looked especially bitter. He paid it no mind.
"So," Malron huffed, watching as the green cloaked archer climbed the wall of Ganon's Tower, "the plan is to knock on the door and ask him to give back the stolen stuff?"
"Nah, the plan's to waltz in like we own the place, and demand he return those stole goods, pay for the pizza, and give me a tip." Linkle would have smacked one hand into another but she was busy scaling a tower at the moment.
"And if he refuses?" Malron wondered.
"Let me kick down that door when we get to it!" Linkle continued climbing and Malron followed her.
They climbed through the window to find Zelda encased in some purple shield and a wall, with her was a strange, cylindrical machine that Linkle had never seen, "Uh, Malron, is that thing dangerous?"
"No, it's also not generating that purple energy field, no, what Zelda's trapped with is a Nopeverse field generator, capable of pulling the Nope into it." Malron frowned as Linkle started giggling.
"Sorry, that's just a crazy name! So, what is a Nope?"
"All demons are Nope, they tend to bring darkness and evil clouds, after analyzing the magic artifacts that 'slay' or 'seal' demons, we were able to create devices that generate a Nopeverse field, when created, a demon is trapped, when disrupted, the demon is sealed, in the Eras With No Hero, we must be able to fend of hordes of demons, thus the Nopeverse was discovered and utilized."
"I thought the Sages did a thing."
"The Sages are...often inaccessible."
"Oh. Is Ganondorf a Nope?"
"I don't know, Zelda has a Nopefield generator, though, so...maybe, maybe it's a coincidence."
"I'll climb the wall and scramble across the beams, cover me!" Linkle started climbing the wall.
"There are always Keese." Malron sighed.
Linkle found that Malron was very good at location and handling the Keese before they were trouble, meanwhile Ganondorf, wearing headphones, remained on his treadmill, increasing the speed often.
Linkle glanced down at Zelda, who held up her phone. Linkle pulled out the telescope Aryll gave her before hitting the Great Seas again, and found that Zelda had written out text for her, there was also a "no signal" icon, which explained why she didn't just text Linkle.
"That guy with red hair is a demon, but he trapped me and the Nopefield generator behind some purple energy field, the only way to disrupt it is to distract him!" the text message read.
"Okay!" Linkle yelled, falling onto Ganondorf, kicking him upside the head.
"What?!" Ganondorf roared, his broken focus on the treadmill resulting in his falling backwards, then an arrow hit him in the knee of his boot.
Linkle backed away and pulled out my phone, "Savvy, my crossbows!"
A brief ring and the phone called out, "Look out!" and the bows fell into Linkle's grasp.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Ganondorf roared, finding his feet, "You're not him...but you look enough like him...that I can take out all my rage on you!"
Linkle unleashed rapid fire, using the bows explosive functions keep Ganondorf guessing, but he was quickly closing the gap. She watched him carefully. He transformed into a pig and rushed her, she turned back to find Zelda cast Nayru's Love, then focused on Ganon, "Here, piggy, piggy!"
"I'm going to kill you!" Ganon roared.
"Nope!" Linkle chimed, jumping out of the way, "get Noped, dude!"
She heard the shatter of glass and a piggish squeal. She rolled and turned to find Ganondorf on his side, Zelda was still in a Nayru's Love shield, and the Nopefield generator was generating a Nopefield.
"That should keep him occupied for another...hundred or so years." Zelda sighed, "Anyways, since he remodeled my father's castle, I'll have to hire Mutoh and Sons to-"
"Sorry, but Your Highness is in another castle!" Linkle announced, tossing her crossbows up and snapping her fingers to store them, "I guess if you like the goth look, though-"
"Curse you! Curse you, Zelda, don't think this is the last time I show up, in this world or others!" Ganondorf screamed, "Curse you, Linkle! I'll see you in the next world over!"
"Nope!" Linkle smiled.
"Curse you Malon!" Ganondorf continued
"Malron!" Malron snapped.
"Marin!" Ganondorf tried again.
"Malron!" Malron's face was the color of her hair right now, and with an intense rage etched into it.
"Curse you, Malrin...Marlin! Henceforth, mispronouncing your name will be a running gag for newcomers!" Ganondorf laughed.
"Malron! Get it right!" Ganondorf laughed as he faded, and his echoes followed shortly after.
"Well...Linkle, Malron, you've saved the kingdom...no, the world!" Zelda said as she flipped a switch on the Nopefield generator, "Tradition mandates a reward, and I hear Ganondorf stole your pizza that you were going to eat at the gym, so...pizza party at my place?"
Mini Author's Notes: There were go, more Nope lore and Ganondorf's Super-Leveling! Also, the Super-Leveling event is inspired by a fanfic by mysteriousguy898, in which Ganondorf changes tactics, titled "Power Is Not Strength", this is me just taking Ganondorf's new plan in a strange, chibified (is that a word? Somebody go make that a word. Or a Word, I'm easy.) direction!
In Which Linkle Is The Assassin (But Actually A Sheikah, Because The Author Has An Unfulfilled Fanfic, And mysteriousguy898 Said To Go For It)
Target confirmed. Hawkeye allowed her to see her target. Linkle walked alongside her partner on the other side of the building and knew where she was being led, so she took a moment to slow down and make sure no one was following her.
She let Malron get far ahead of her before walking with as much calm as she could muster, admittedly, not a whole lot, but she didn't draw attention to herself.
Eventually she swaggered into the building and pulled down her hood, "Shall we get down to business, then?"
Malron nodded and turned to Aryll, who was dressed in her Gerudo captain disguise, "The castle is heavily guarded and they expect heavy hits from all sides. That's where you come in, Big Sis."
"Aryll confirmed that the Resistance is inside, and ready to make some noise, all spotlights will be on them," Malron pointed at a map on the desk, you'll climb up here after Aryll reveals her ship's location by launching a giant bomb plant and firing her cannons, you'll move in and find me fighting Ganondorf, you job is to in there, and-"
"Do what I do." Linkle confirmed.
"Yes." Malron replied.
Linkle fell from a building and rolled to her feet, and pulled up her hood.
"I'll call in the flock."
Cuccos flew out ahead of her and took down the army of Gerudo blocking her path, she ran to a ledge, shot a hole in the wall with a bomb, and leapt off the ledge to land on the ruined wall, then bounced down onto Ganondorf, who had just been struck by a yellow blast of energy that Malron deflected with a bottle.
"May I speak Italian?"
"Do what you must."
Linkle's fork would later go on to be called the Triumph Fork, the rumor would grow beyond the Sheikah, and people would would accidentally refer to it while talking about the Triforce.
"Requiescat in pace," she paused for emphasis, "Dragmire."
Linkle fell into Lake Hylia, followed by the rest of her flock.
Mini Author's Notes: Linkle's hood shouldn't look so Assassin, but it does, and she dual wields crossbows—just like an Assassin dual wields Hidden Blades. The flock thing Linkle says is a parody of AC: Syndicate's trailer when the brother protagonist says, he'll call the lads. mysteriousguy898 pointed out that Hawkeye could be Zelda version of Eagle Vision, awesome idea!
In Which Malron Is Malon's Extreme...And Linkle Is The (Perfect) Hero
Linkle was tired of Malron thinking about a prince or knight or whatever sweeping her off her feet, so one day while Malron was daydreaming and sleepwalking in it, and Linkle was sweeping, she shrugged and went for it.
She held her broom firmly, waited for Malron's shadow to fall on the chair, and swept the broom and herself in a circle, "Hi-ya!"
"What?!" Malron screamed.
Linkle twirled her broom around and smirked as she caught Malron, "There, happy now? I literally swept you off your feet!"
"It took you long enough!" Malron fumed.
"H-huh? I thought I'd have to run away or something." Linkle sighed, "Plus, I do ship us...like, if we were characters in that thing with Keaton, I'd be making fanart and saying how my ship's superior!"
"What's a ship?" Malron frowned, "And no, your sister had the best ship, it's the fastest in the fleet."
Talron burst through the door, chomping on mushrooms, "Linkle, someone let out the cuccos!"
Talron chuckled to himself, and Linkle scowled at him, and, before slamming the door, yelled, "Troll!"
Mini Author's Notes: Don't you wish Linkle had access to the internet?
In Which Malron Is Marin's Extreme (Here We Go Again) Alternately, Here We Go!
Malron would never admit it, ever, in all her life, but she was scared to death of heights, it's like if heights people, and those people knocked on the door, she'd barricade it with furniture, only to find one of them handing her a chair, she felt it in her bones.
Fortunately she could always depend on dear old dad to bring a ladder and not fall asleep down at the base of the rock formation she was stuck on, especially while Linkle was off saving the world.
She was sure it was the end, but suddenly Linkle zipped over to her.
"Linkle!" Malron stole Linkle's patented Pounce Hug and held onto her, "My hero!"
"I missed you too, but you can't keep getting stuck on mountains!" Linkle joked.
This was one of those rare quiet moments, so Malron wasn't going to bring up the neighbors and their Gust Bellows.
"Hey!" a sudden voice shouted, "Linkle, Malron, what are you to doing up there?!"
How he was able to interrupt those moments was beyond Linkle, but she could always depend on him to wake up at this time, it was like a Moment alarm light went off in his head or something.
Mini Author's Notes: This is actually inspired from an old PM with mysteriousguy898, where we discussed Tarin interrupting Link and Marin's romance.
"So, Big Sis," Aryll dropped down on the couch next to Linkle and watched her watch Malron set up some kind of old game console from the eighties, "um, just what is this?"
"While you were gone, Ganondorf showed up, and got Noped." Linkle explained, "In the end, there was pizza and games, and Zelda let us have this—it's a fossil, but one of the greatest games ever to feature time traveling sacred blades came out on this console, so a very, very, very special fossil."
"Okay, it's all plugged in!" Malron clapped her hands together and grabbed the old school controller.
They were welcomed to the title screen with the hero of the adventure on horseback, and they waited for ten minutes so they could watch the animation that often played if you didn't press any buttons, and then Linkle went to get some popcorn, and came back, and a second video played. The girls were hyped for the adventure of a lifetime.
"So, um, does anyone want to play this?" Malron offered the controller, but Linkle shook her head, "Okay. Oh, uh, I think I'll keep the character's name the same."
She accepted the name that had been set as default and moved on, to a narration that introduced them to the world, and "Lonk" came up in blue, "Obviously a glitch." Malron muttered.
Aryll frowned and turned to Malron, "Maybe you should find someone to exorcise this thing."
"Oh, it's not cursed!" Linkle assured, "It could be worse, the game could've called the hero Zelda!"
Then the main character's best friend, an ageless, green haired, chirpy girl, called Malron's character Ben. Something was definitely wrong with that. Malron tried again, this time the girl called her "Malon", "Marin", "Malrin", and finally, "Marlin", at which point the trio went to find Syrup.
"Oh, I see...I wonder what would happen if he was a girl, though." Syrup grabbed the controller and the character called her by the appropriate name, "Did someone in particular curse you, Malron?"
"Yeah," Malron sighed, "he said if I just met someone, they'd always get my name wrong...looks like Ganondorf was right, even the game got my name wrong, and it doesn't even know my name."
"Only thing for it is to make the caster a bloody heap on the floor." Syrup sighed, "I'd do this for a fee, but it would be cheating because it has to be the one cursed, and if he's demon...it might not work."
And so Malron went down into the Nopeverse, a white expanse of nothing, and found Ganondorf. Not only was the place large, but it was also small, depending on who you were, Hylians could see vague walls in the distance, and find their way back up easily.
She found Ganondorf standing, in a stasis, and sighed. This was going to be painfully easy, and Linkle had even given her the compass she wore, either for good luck, or in case she couldn't find the entry point, she didn't know. Malron turned to where she left. For demons, it was a ceiling, but Hylians saw a door, and could adjust the center of gravity, turning the floor in into a roof or a wall.
Malron emerged from the floor, and grabbed the controller for the game, and the character called her by the protagonist's name.
"Ha, ha, you did it!" Linkle cheered.
"I knew you could do it!" Aryll added.
"Huh, what?!" Talron jumped awake and took stock of the situation, "Did you beat the final boss?"
"I knew you could tear Ganondorf's heart out, and feed it to him!" Syrup growled, vehemently.
"I have to admit, I doubted myself." Malron smiled and patted the compass for a moment before giving it back to Linkle, "I did get lost, fortunately I had this, thank you, Linkle."
"I'm glad it was useful...I just hate that it had to be." Linkle said somberly,.
"So...was it serious?" Talron wondered, having slept through the last ten minutes' development.
"Yes." Malron replied, then turned to the screen, perhaps the most serious fight of my-"
A silence descended upon the room as they took note of what the game was calling Malron, "Linkle", "You know, if you want, you can hang onto the compass."
"T-thanks, Linkle." Malron didn't know how, but someway, somehow, Linkle's compass kept Ganondorf's curse at bay. Linkle would never get used to waking up without it, though, so Malron returned it to her after the game was off.
Mini Author's Notes: I imagine Syrup to be very passionate about fighting.