【冰漾】我的單身日記 第十九章45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPtkXbmKgI
發文時間: 4/23 2012

我的單身日記1945Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSb3GZuVNTM
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　　為什麼。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoYfsa5XA7
　　為什麼說不出口。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96FMAzBfFe
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　　這麼簡單的一句話，就四個字。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyxhm2Ya7s
　　雙唇開了又闔，我放棄了多少次坦白的機會，而每每壓抑一次，換來的都是無法訴諸的淚水。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLS7bIyhQb3
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　　啊啊……你不知道的，淚水。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLy3CFrHFN
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　　有多少個夜裡，我回味著你稀有的溫柔，在心裡感到甜蜜而勾動嘴角的那一刻，比笑聲更快流洩的卻是淚水。那些夜裡，我總是笑著哭。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8DHEZOvEU
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　　為了你笑，更為了你哭。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaYHQYNnT4
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　　要我怎麼說出口？被我喜歡上又不是你的錯，而我憑什麼讓這份心情成為你的負擔？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0XFBFDPya
　　但我好幾次都差點這麼說出來了，真的差一點。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYLw6EtMu9
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　　當你走在我面前，嘴角帶著若有似無的笑意時；當我遇上挫折，你走過來拍了拍我的肩膀時；當我迷失了方向，你默默的將我拉起來推回原軌時。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWj4TQxwKs
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　　我張著的唇，嚥著的是多少句喜歡，你永遠也不會知道。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4nMOAi8Va
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　　我想要一輩子都在你身邊，你依然不會知道的，我就是這麼貪心。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcZgLvoIcJ
　　所以我情願做你的朋友，因為朋友總能比戀人長久。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOfUSB7ven
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　　正因為我珍惜著，所以我忍受著。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk3AnX46Lg
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　　這就是貪心的代價，我對你有多貪心，就要為了你多傷心。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsD2tJj8aG
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　　這也是沒辦法的啊，誰叫我是個失去不起的膽小鬼？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMc3FF1kkQ
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　　我不想，失去你偶爾輕輕喚我一聲「褚。」的那抹淺笑。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwktVUhSrN
　　我不想，失去在你面前叫著你一聲「學長！」的資格。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlPcSuLs6A
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　　就算，我真正想對你說的是，一句輕聲的：「我喜歡你。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShUXR1KL2R
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　　清醒，但沒有睜開眼睛，只是任由淚水流下，疲於掩飾早已傷痕累累的那顆心。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDC1iBSSsO
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　　在認知到身旁的那人是誰時，我真的覺得－－好累好累了。閉著眼，我試著在黑暗中將那兩個截然不同的身影重疊。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2EpX3rdc8
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　　「學長……」我出聲，細細輕喚。聽見他來到我身邊的聲音，我勾起一抹淡然的微笑，然後睜開眼睛。映入眼中的面容，果然是他。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexYbsKeOZk
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　　「阿利學長。」我微笑著對眼前的人喚道，看著蓄有褐色長髮的俊逸青年對著我綻出一抹爽朗而溫潤的笑容：「你終於醒啦？感覺還好嗎，小學弟？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWFB0OhlSE
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　　依然微笑著，我張開雙唇：「阿利學長，我喜歡你。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFljciThRS
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　　已經不想去在乎了，雖然過去老是對自己說痛苦是必然的，但真的……撐不下去了啊，在他毫不遲疑的把我的心推向別人的那一刻。連自己可能被我喜歡上的可能性都歸為零，我有什麼資格去喜歡這樣的他呢？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wSCqlJWSI
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　　「…咦嗚呃啊？！」阿利學長顯然被我嚇的不輕。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmckC1tlLRf
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　　看著這樣的他，我忍不住的笑出聲來：「我真的喜歡你唷。應該啦、嘻嘻。」我笑得好燦爛，但心裡卻哭的好大聲，好像永遠的放棄了什麼，甚至沒有勇氣去追尋。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1LEWizzBn
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　　現下只有一個念頭，就是不能讓學長再去深思日記裡的內容，絕對不能讓他知道我真正喜歡的到底是誰。那麼，將錯就錯吧，喜歡一個人如果這麼痛苦，那我寧可將這份心意就此塵封，不再心動。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLGfkbLEVt
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　　「學、學弟，你到底怎麼了啊？」阿利學長瞪大眸子，他的驚疑不定和手足無措完全掩飾不了。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVywUheFI6Q
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　　笑著凝視慌張的阿利學長，我笑著笑著，就這樣哭了起來。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJdKIxhHxd
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　　「我喜歡你，我喜歡你，我喜歡你！嗚啊啊啊啊啊－－！我真的真的好喜歡你啊！學長……學長……我喜歡你……好喜歡好喜歡好喜歡……你不要推開我好不好？可不可以相信我？拜託你相信我……我喜歡你…真的好喜歡你啊……！」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9uFYT6Ajo
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　　聲嘶力竭的哭喊著，我放任自己哭泣。早該大哭一場了，是我太看得起自己，以為不管多痛苦我都忍的下去。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSniPzZRmJw
　　殊不知，我早已傷不起。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmXOgrLntt
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　　和他相處的畫面在腦中一幕幕的播放起，有他鮮有的笑意，有他偶然的親暱，有他刻意掩藏的貼心。我在他心中，就真的只是一個學弟而已，他甚至覺得我不可能會喜歡他。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwcFXRQlwQ
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　　還有什麼，比自己的心意還沒說出口，就被全盤否定更痛苦的呢？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEBmNOQvjM
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　　在阿利學長身邊徹底崩潰的哭泣著，像是要把對學長的心意就這樣全部宣洩出來，我一遍又一遍的重覆哭喊著那四個字，彌補過去說不出口的每一次。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvmxfgDrtV
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　　「我喜歡你……我喜歡你……」聲音啞了，眼睛腫了，心也碎了。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrim9BjMd4
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　　我依然開合著乾澀的雙唇重覆低喃，像是跳針的撥放器。直到我被拉起，落入一個溫暖的懷抱，直到有一隻手輕輕的覆上我泛著淚的雙眼，直到他的下巴微微的抵在我的頭頂上，我才放棄似的抓住繞在我的腰上的那隻手，像是在浩瀚無際的汪洋中飄浮了好久而終於抓住一片浮木。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdoAohlkq0
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　　「阿利學長……你可不可以替我保守一個秘密？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt5WIMUt7X
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　　「嘛、我都替我保守紅袍身分的秘密了，你說，我還有什麼秘密不能替親愛的小學弟保守呢？」　45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAWc6qiGu5
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　　「我…我喜歡學長，我是說冰炎學長。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThH5KxU6lJ
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　　「嗯。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeH0PUZad9a
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　　「可是他以為我喜歡你。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3vqrR0MoK
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　　「……嗚啊。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhckyPeEtpW
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　　「所以我喜歡你了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxnHkYFen6
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　　「……等等，學弟麻煩你把整件事情從頭到尾解釋一次給我聽。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzl04FlOsx
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　　我就這樣，在阿利學長的懷中，靜靜的說著我不為人知的愛情故事。最後，大概是哭累了，我在半睡半醒之際，感覺到自己被悄悄的扶回床上，勉強的將眼睛睜開一些，我看見正彎著腰為我蓋上棉被的阿利學長。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrnYXI0dS9
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　　忍不住伸手碰了碰他垂下的褐色馬尾，我含糊的出了聲：「阿利學長……謝謝你喔……」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiQV3Wu4sn
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　　他愣了一下，旋即燦然的綻出一抹寵溺的笑容。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlPA45nyvw
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　　「You're welcome, 親愛的學弟。」他笑著說，接著伸手，替我闔上那雙哭累的雙眼。