From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xfiZJdZvx
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XGdBKlB9X
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpv4fLSfeeC
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsaZFLzDSo
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIMmzuLIuj
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawd6PvkT4Y
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugbdbZoNSR
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gaBSelmR6
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4Spl4PNVJ
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IFGxz28eN
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWpWrRYUgj
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbl2Bd24j8c
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzSY6ptZ6c
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvILplWqTE
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARVOyRFsoT
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLCGEq6SNJ
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkQYFCTbCi
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgWSREMd0o
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVYBLpmco8
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVN3UAAUDt
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqF4qzFUYh2
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfw6MW6xpuc
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRkFgTvFw1
and never speak of feelings again.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i5P6ksOOs
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHZtI8iFh5
what would you write in a breakup text?118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DCc2ilL3R
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfACz7Ljk6O
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0Y9swwfXO
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7ItQrOVNq
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteMOeH96VE
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEziHSztmaW
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84wz7JlZ6g
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8vwIlejCY
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0LQH4iIHg
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhAlc2eD44
that was weirdly lovely.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZV9zNodB2T
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROtsAA0WeQ
was there a form i missed?118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOhI36xzV5
should i be sending muffins?
— maya118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznFdSMesbx
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9X9KThoI9
To: [email protected]118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbv0CiRINk
Subject: it’s official
congrats.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17J3uro377
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nuPtXGjat
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhRdifubTr
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGqphsIl9R
friend of font victims
118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkiNAU6NJE
