-My psychologist-
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBC1bcx1gv
“Just call me Henry, now tell me about your business...and yourself, Mister Wallace.”
“Ok Doctor..I mean Henry…lets see, where do I start...Well my business is called Vector Era, we specialize in logo designs and product concept development, aka PCD. I have assembled a group of designers and engineers, with all their expertise in place, we usually assemble a whole product line. Fully designed. We then pitch the PCD idea to big boy companies like Wack Arnolds and Coca Koala. Although a gamble, if successful, it would yields high returns. Which usually, for the most part got elected by the big companies”
“Among other regular jobs and odd jobs that pay well; we were and still are, considered successful. Most of my workers make around...50-70k? a year. I myself made 110k last year. I could harvest more but I would often reinvest my own wealth towards the business.”
“Doctor, I’m on cloud nine when I think of my accomplishments! I feel like a straight boss. Which indeed, I am.”
“I see, and your upbringing? Henry is fine by the way.”
“Well..looking back on my teen years, I can only laugh at my mother for kicking me out. You see, I hate to admit it but I am...indeed...fugly in the face. Although that wasn't the factor that made my mother kick me out, I have a hunch that it played a big roll!”
“The gods, higher power, Pangu! or whatever you call it decided to play a cruel joke on me, that is, to make me...well, hideous.”
“This was something I knew at an early age. Going back further into my kindergarten life, I in class was often ignored by the teachers. At the same time all the ‘cute’ kids would get all the attention and better schooling. As an ugly boy I could clearly see the differences on how people treated ‘undesirables’ versus ‘desirables.’ I truly hated this.
There was much hardships to overcome, especially if you weren't good at socializing. Like not getting candy on valentine's day...getting less food at the cafeteria, never getting a girlfriend... being constantly bullied every year, it was normal for me...truly a cruel joke.”
“...” Henry didn't make a sound, he just held his stare.
“Fortunately I found my way out, somewhat…” he then smiled, in a creepy manner.
“My computer” he said firmly.
“Oh?” the psychologist was surprised, immediately writing down on his note pad.
“There in the screen, I harnessed my skill in programming and design, it was funny actually... I being ugly sought out to design appealing...desirable products.”
“In case you're curious, doctor. As to why I was kicked out...everyday after school ill be glued to my screen. I played MMO’s, learned to code, surfed the web, made graphic art.. heck even watched porn! This was a place that accepted me, it was all at my fingertips! The computer did not discriminate my ugliness, it simply was, a computer.”
“You hearing me DOC?!!!”
“yes… Mister Wallace, please, Henry is fine.” He said while re-composing his lazy posture.
“My mother grew frantic when seeing me ‘waste’ my life away. October 24, 2010 was the day she had enough. She was filled with rage, she said wicked things to me that day. I found out I was adopted too...ha! By the time she scrammed me from my ‘home’, I found myself just staring at the blue-orange sky. Standing near the entrance of the had been home, I could only...”
Wallace paused while holding back his tears.
“Useless, lazy, pig...ugly, those were just a few things my mother had called me.” his voice cracked a bit.
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkoyo1Qh3b
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUDA7XREXE
First person View - Wallace
Now looking at my doctor, I tried to give him an assuring smile but it came out awkwardly. For tears flowed down my face at this point. Trying my best to suppress my emotions, I pressed on with my story.
“Those were words that truly hurt me right at the heart, makes me queasy just thinking about it. I was seventeen when it happened, sobbing as I walked on the sidewalk. I remember people often stared at me but none dared to console me.”
“I didn't blame them.. for I was…the ugly duckling that will never turn handsome, haha....”
“Where was I to go...huh doctor!!?” I unintentionally, lightly, spat on the doctor's face.
Wiping of the fresh saliva “Tough situation, and please, call me Hen-”
I cut him off. I didn't intend to ask him actually. It was just in the spur of the moment.
“Was my mother seriously kicking me out permanently? Maybe in a few days I can return home and everything will go back to how it use to be. At least...these were fleeting thoughts I had”
“At that moment while walking in the sidewalk; I didn't notice it then.”
I couldn't help but chuckle while saying this. My psychologist simply waited in silence.
“I had actually left my house with only my laptop, which I now find humorous, because It foreshadowed what was to come. I also don't remember consciously taking it.”
“I eventually phoned a friend to let me crash at his place. His name was Lemreh.”
“...He was a good friend I had.”
“He let me stay at his place for a while, never charging me rent or the food I often wolfed down.”
“With Anger and resentment filling my heart, my mentality started to change. I found a job as a dishwasher boy, it was a low end restaurant called ‘Bob’s Clam bar.’ I often ate what was still left on the plates that were given to me, an art form of scavenging. In order not to waste money on lunch and dinner, this was necessary.”
“It was a struggle to survive, I worked like a dog in those days. I found mental refuge in my co-workers, most of them were ‘wet bags’ that came from all over the place, Mexico and Guatemala being the popular origins.”
“They too, like me...drew the short end of the stick at birth. To me, they were comrades.”
“One day...one lucky day, my boss was talking with the managers saying he wanted to rebrand his business, to completely change it. But designers were asking for too much money and they never made what he visualized in his mind.”
“I decided to make my move then. It was my window of opportunity, and I decided right then and there that I was no longer useless… I was not lazy.. and definitely.. most definitely not a pig!”
“I grew some balls and told my boss, I could be of help in that area.”
“The rest is history doctor, I found new hobbies like MMA, took piano lessons, I even started reading a lot of self help books too. I learned many things back then, like who would have thought my ugly ass can get with models once they saw my bank account.”
I chortled loudly but then abruptly quieted down. As I stared down at the floor, I noticed the mat under my feet. Its pigment was a dark dirty purple, which covered much of the filth throughout its lifetime. It even had some old gum which was now a lack luster black.
“I see, so.. mister Wallace, you have overcome much.. you have it all haha.. why do you seek my counseling?”
“....WAHAHA!”
When I heard him say this all I could do was cover my face and laugh obnoxiously. My emotional scars never healed that day, I simply have suppressed those feelings, I still felt like a...useless...ugly..pig. Which indeed...indeed I was.
Not even this dumb-ass of a psychologist could figure out my problem, let alone fix them. I spent a fortune on him, I had enough.
With a calm but authoritative voice.
“Doctor Henry Schobert, today's my last day.”
He wore a shocked face after hearing what I said.
“Wow.. hey listen… life is too short. No need to go to such lengths. Why don't you go on a vacation or go to church and get involved with your community.”
He probably thought I was talking about suicide. What a buffoon...if that was my decision, I would have done it a long time ago.
“No...Doctor” I stood up and started walking towards the exit.
“This is my last time here, as in, i'm no longer in need of you, as in...you’re fired!”
I looked his way, he had a blank face on him. I then turned my face, while transferring the same movements to my wrist which held the door knob.
“Qwreeekh” the door squeaked oddly as I opened it. “The doors are always open if you decide to come back, Peter.” the Doctor responded.
I closed the door when he finished his sentence.
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVtm213v76
-Odd Dream-
I returned to my home and got ready for bed. I woke up in a place with a lot of vegetation, it was very lively. Birds chirping, random rustling within some bushes and howls of all kinds of peculiar animals. The jungle? no matter.
I walked towards a beautiful bird that had caught my attention, it was a very bright red that ended sharply at his neck, the rest of his head was pure black. It left me in awe.
“Mortal, why so sad?” I heard in the distance.
Suddenly, a woman with a dark dress came forth from the near by foliage, she looked like a witch/whore fusion. At this moment in time I noticed my state of mind, I was really calm and peaceful. Odd. She extended her hands saying “Come” and so I did.
As I walked towards her I suddenly stopped in my tracks, no one treats me this way.. specially seeing my face. The woman looked at me as a frown developed on her face. Her whole body tensed up...
“DIE!!”
This startled me, her mood changed so fast!
She then came at me at terrifying speeds, just when she was an inch away from attacking me I woke up, with sweat covering my whole body.
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QSt9qefkJ
-The Incident-
I was now coughing profusely, my throat was extremely dry. My lips were chapped as well. I couldn't go back to sleep, let alone stay put.
I decided to make a trip to 11-7, a place that was open at mid-night.
While driving towards 11-7, I dialed Lemreh’s number.
He was my one and only true friend I had. When my own mother left me on the streets, he, without hesitating, welcomed me in his home.
Although it was late at night, 2 am late, he still answered.
“Hello?” he said in a low tired voice.
“Yo, whats up man? You should come through at 11-7, right now”
“Nah, I'm a bit tired, might go to sleep soon.”
“Beer is on me.”
“Alright, i'll be there.” Click’
It was a ten minute drive. I then entered the only place lit at night, 11-7. There on the other side of the counter was a man from Indian descent that stared at me, as if I came here to steal.
Got me a little mad.
While lifting up my hands I said “Hey man, i'm not interested”
“Thaits diguusting siur” with a heavy indian accent.
Snickering, I kept walking towards the beer aisle.
Then, suddenly...
“GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY IN THE REGISTER!! NOW!!! YOU F*KING HINDU!!!”
I immediately turned my head towards the register, my heart was now loudly thumping. The thief held a silver gun, I was utterly shocked.
I unconsciously crouched while moving closer towards the scene. All I could think about was my life, my long forgotten mother… my job.. my dream girl and a constant “oh God why, oh lord have mercy! ima die, someone halp!... why me, why now!!!?”
As if adding fodder to my chaotic mind, the hindu and thief kept shouting at each other, an argument? It was brave on the hindu’s part.
I knew mixed martial arts, so I was very confident in taking him down. For some reason, although scared, I wanted to constrict him, maybe put him in a headlock. I felt almost like a hero thinking this.
BAM!!
“OH MY GAWD!!!” letting out a scream as I unashamedly pissed my pants, all the while staring at the hindu’s brain paste...scattering all over the counter!
As the blood and brain paste shot out of his dome, the thief looked confused, did he not understand the consequences? The blood not only splattered on candy and snacks but on the thief as well. It was a bloody mess.
“OH GAW DAMN” the thief shouted.
The Indian man didn't let out a scream, his body just froze, then dropped onto the floor. Finally as if possessed by a demon, the indian’s body reacted. The carcass started to convulse, quite violently. His body succeeded in knocking down a rack filled with bagels, which tumbled down on the thief, a dying wish perhaps.
I have never been so scared in my life, honestly, never did I think he would actually pull the trigger. What surprised me the most were the objects on the hindu’s hands, on his left hand there appeared to be a long machete, and on his right was a rough looking blackish ball.
Without thinking, drugged up on adrenaline, I darted towards the thief. He wore a cheap brown leggings on his head, the ones you get at Macy's shoe section, he looked foolish.
No matter how he looked, he was still very dangerous. This I knew for certain. Having a hunch that if I didn't take him down, he will do me in next I didn't hesitate to act.
“OHH MAN! I'M OUTA HERE!!!”
The thief turned around while seemingly about to sprint away, I dropped down to knee level and took him down with a double-legs that I meticulously trained during my MMA lessons. This caused much blood to splash, blood and brain paste stained both our clothes.
“SHIT YOU DUMB-ASS, THAT F*KING HINDU HAD A HAND GRA-”
“BOOM!”
The pain was unbearable, my skin was being burned and pierced by tiny little fragments of straight pain!! is this what they call shrapnel?
It was odd, time seemed to slow down, the grenade had a deafening effect on my ears, leaving me with a constant white noise. The noise dissipated as time flowed on.
I could no longer see from my left eye, my right was badly wounded. As I shut my working eye down, I could now concentrate on the multiple screams. It seems I wasn't the only one in the store.
My heart rate was intense, more so than previously mentioned. One terrifying voice stood out, it was the loudest one...I then realized it was my own voice. It was within the mix of hellish screams, except mine was a bit more eerie, it was truly frightening. I deduced my throat was most likely, partially melted away. I continued producing ghoulish, apocalyptic harmonies.
Then, suddenly, there was no more pain, no more yells... no more sounds.
I felt thousands of hands grabbing me in every direction, they felt brittle but numerous.
“Another soul has joined us!! kue-kue-kue”
It was an angelic voice, quite nice if not for the ghastly meaning. It came from a male. But then a loud voice that resembled thunder said.
“Begone! his life has not ended.”
I then heard a loud “SNAP!” Followed up by a piercing divine presence. I could somehow feel this person's aura.
I could then see a powerful figure walk out, within the brilliance of the light. In the midst of the cloudy bright rays, I could see the shape of a human, but I was certain it wasn't human. Then I saw a pair of fiery eyes that I genuinely feared, for it knew...everything about me.
This was information that seemed to be programmed within my mind, it was the most dominating feeling I have ever felt. As if I wanted to, my body quickly kneeled, while I said something that I didn't understand.
Actually I did comprehend the meaning, “Lord.” It was a language that seemed to be of ancient origins.
I extended my hands to block the light, I could faintly see a golden stylish belt the human figure wore. It had letters in white.
I said out loud while reading it...
“King of kings.”
What shocked me was the ever changing text. From Chinese to English, I even saw writing that resembled ancient Mayan hieroglyphs. The oddity of it all was, no matter the change, I could still clearly understand every writing form’s meaning.
“Continue” was all the mysterious figure said.
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxqzC1no1r
-The Un-sinister Abyss-
I felt a sense of darkness immediately engulf me, it was not sinister, it just felt open and vast. I was spiraling down into an abyss, quickly, and constantly gaining speed. I could only describe it as if one was to fly down at top speeds in a jet plane, while spiraling down but never crashing. I wanted to hurl.
While going down and down to nothingness I tried my best to count. It lasted what I calculate to be one hour. It was a horrible feeling that seemingly never stopped.
My flesh, now fully healed, kept on shrinking.
My memory started to flee from my mind, it was an unnerving feeling...as if losing oneself. I was like a computer dumping data at high speeds, my name, age and gender all vanished from my mind.
I soon started to forguietee how tou speek andir rhtenn cmemdkxe, ofmrijmijmciejm.
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmGBCO5xBP
-Dark Cell-
I started to regain my consciousness and memory for who knows how long and remembered, slowly, things of my past life.
I am peter...I think…ah.. yes... I know that I live in earth.. im.. I didnt want to recall this part, hideous.
I had recovered the first 12 years of my previous life. Although...my gut feeling told me I was older.
But!...where was I? Did I die? For some reason I felt that I survived. For I was, still, the same Peter… I believe, and my flesh didn't decay, it just shrank.
After gaining some of my memory back, 10 years to be exact, I noticed something mushy was wrapping around me, more like encasing me. Although I couldn't see it, I certainly felt it. I was unable to move during this realization. I also could not see or hear as a matter of fact. Although I was very confused, I felt very comfortable, as if nothing could hurt me, a safe zone.
Within the dark, comfy prison.
I would find myself in a hibernating state. Eventually when I did wake up; not much I could do, due to my body still not responding.
I had roughly an hour of being awake everyday, growing impatient and bored at one point. Time passed for too long.
The highlight of my time awake was a weird, stroke like wave, which was the substance surrounding me. It was pleasing, it caressed me. Often accompanied by outlandish muffled noise, usually a high pitched one and a low pitched one.
Roughly a month had passed. I would often hear amazing sounds. Not the usual muffled “voices” but instead a very atmospheric and angelic tune. As a piano musician, I appreciated this.
What peaked my curiosity was that this tune covered the complete musical spectrum, as if playing the piano from the low key up to the high pitched keys. Whenever a tone sounded off, it was immediately repeated until it sounded perfectly tuned. This sound however, did not have a source, more like it came directly from my mind. Unlike the muffled sounds.
After a few weeks, I started to hear the familiar faint muffled noise again, coming from somewhere outside? “Hmmphmhpm hpmhh shhhhmppmff.” The Volume had noticeably increased since I heard it last time.
My hearing got better.
The very next day was worth to mention.
“Railzer colociana, penlegue sin tam pok” there was a pause and then a deeper voice seemed to respond “Oro-clouse, variana reite.. tam pok.”
What the fudge!… I woke up to loud sounds from the outside, they were now clearly human voices, too bad I didn't understand their language. I could hear many things now, it seems someone was cleaning, eating, talking and even taking dumps! It was so weird, was I inside someones head? womb? or maybe my soul… my spirit was inside someone? yikes! I simply couldn't find the answer.
More time passed, I then noticed my heart pumping. My hearing seemed to be improving everyday. Actually, there was another heart that distinctly had its own rhythm, it was much slower and deeper. I couldn't help but try to move when I realized there was someone's heart beating near me.
With all my strength I tried moving my left leg.
“CAICAR!! ROT RUMBO, LO PENLEGUE!!! LO PENLEGUE!!”
I heard a woman scream excitedly, and then, what left me in utter shock… was the unknown heart.
It had risen...in tempo!
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM8Bl6B1cH
Authors Note
361Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWc7sTmawgW
“This chapter is partially inspired by my own life...and no, im not ‘fugly’ haha.” - Jacob
