->>>論騎士向祭司告(耍)白(蠢)的最佳時機?讓好兄弟們來告訴你~AWA(#8964 copyright protection565PENANAWdJMFfeUzb 維尼
【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來8964 copyright protection565PENANAU2blQwtQmN 維尼
By 喵芭渴死姬8964 copyright protection565PENANAVlO4EIuYj4 維尼
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6-2. 騎士與祭司有奸情?8964 copyright protection565PENANAxLJXB8Bpia 維尼
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爆炸頭的威力果真不同凡響!包頭巾一扯下,阿飄們瞬間如餓虎撲羊、活屍吃人之勢嘶吼衝來,不一會就將肉盾團團包圍。而一旁站在樹下的泰迪熊,則雲淡風清地揮揮法杖補補血,怡然自得一身輕。569Please respect copyright.PENANAFVnDeSZjbQ
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肉盾滿地翻滾,愛的小手啪啪啪,忙得是焦頭爛額。鬼哭神號間,各種詭異囧妙的嬌喘呻吟此起彼落,讓他在如瀑布狂瀉的黑線中,漸漸抓到殺敵的竅門,加上本身對武打已有不錯根基,便越戰越順手,他也越發有自信起來,引來的暴走阿飄自也越多。直到他好不容易清掉幾輪怪,又拍死一隻體型略矮過自己的阿飄後,系統就忽然響起——569Please respect copyright.PENANA57avRwRU2U
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「叮!玩家肉盾阿弗羅成功解救被鬼上身的矮人族族花,觸發【種族劇情任務】《族花的報恩》,請玩家肉盾阿弗羅與NPC《族花》交談以進行劇情。」569Please respect copyright.PENANAH1Y7qUJCeK
569Please respect copyright.PENANAB05TxI3UqH
嗄?打怪做日常也能觸發劇情?傻眼的肉盾東張西望,等待傳說中的族花現身。泰迪熊也略感奇異地走到最後倒地的阿飄屍體旁,果真見那屍體漸漸實體化,露出原來的女矮人樣貌,頭頂上方的名字也從《阿飄》變成《族花》。569Please respect copyright.PENANAQOPhvC2WNJ
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還真是族花勒!肉盾無語地抓著爆炸頭,有些好奇劇情走向是什麼,戴著反光眼鏡的雙眼便直直盯著前阿飄族花。就在他們千等萬等,總算等到族花眨著眼皮醒來之際,肉盾忽感胸口一滯、心跳加速、呼吸不能,系統音便再次響起了——569Please respect copyright.PENANAecaOeOWhEk
569Please respect copyright.PENANANSzzqlX7Aq
「叮!系統瘟腥小提醒——玩家肉盾阿弗羅因種族審美觀設定,將深受NPC《族花》的美貌吸引而悸動,角色自動產生初戀般的感覺,劇情結束後即恢復正常,請玩家安心遊戲。」569Please respect copyright.PENANAETAFxu5Blm
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於是,肉盾就驚悚地摀胸了。不會吧!這什麼鬼設定啊?誰說初戀就是這樣啦?哥初戀時可沒覺得像被噎到一樣窒息啊啊啊!569Please respect copyright.PENANAj3IwKOQUl0
569Please respect copyright.PENANAFZEFIYTxOi
種族審美觀?泰迪熊微挑眉打量族花的米粒眼、遢鼻子和頭上的兩條大麻花捲,再瞧向肉盾的宅宅眼鏡、老鼠嘴和花椰菜爆炸頭,便沒守住嘴角地輕咳一聲,「咳,挺登對。」569Please respect copyright.PENANAvauPu3Q0uQ
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嗚嗚嗚!泰怎麼一學會吐槽就拿哥開刀啦?肉盾於內心深處潸然淚下了。569Please respect copyright.PENANAXXbnTd2Igq
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「謝謝你救了我,親愛的勇者。」族花爬起來後,望見肉盾以矮人族來說萬分英俊的面容,不禁兩頰羞紅地捧著臉,自報身為族長之女的家世,再緩緩解釋自己隨家人下山遊玩卻遭怨靈附身的不幸,最後才羞答答地拋了個粉色小愛心,「請讓人家以身相許來報答你吧~♥」569Please respect copyright.PENANAlWPiK7Pd2Q
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果然是這種劇情啊,系統你真是太沒創意啦!肉盾實在很想仰天大吼。不過,在系統的強硬設定下,他應當要對族花心動不已,甚至欣喜若狂地接受族花報恩,從此成為矮人族族長的女婿,享盡榮華富貴與特權,何況系統也說了——569Please respect copyright.PENANABO6iZU9g80
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『【私密】系統對您悄悄說:接受吧!接受吧!跟NPC結婚有很多好處唷~每個月爽爽躺就有固定收入,還有整矮人族小弟供你差遣,升級練功包你快速滿等,金裝紫裝橘裝免費打造,稀有材料無限供應,任務提示超多回饋……』569Please respect copyright.PENANA8iYlGzhiMT
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這是在搞週年慶活動嗎?瞪著滿頻道亂刷的系統密語,肉盾不得不承認好處果真多多啊!然而,當他注視族花以矮人族來說是水汪汪烏溜溜的小豆眼時,情不自禁的砰然心跳中,腦海裡卻只浮現一抹身影的不經意含笑……不!不可以妥協!他咬牙將不受控制的手往《拒絕》按下。569Please respect copyright.PENANAoSJvhf49OP
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「對不起,可愛的小花兒!」肉盾摀胸對族花柔情款款地說:「哥已許諾要守護別人了,既然哥的心早已有所屬,就不能三心二意,辜負了對他的承諾,也蹉跎了你的青春與未來。小花兒如此純真可人,哥怎麼忍心糟蹋你呢?你值得一份最誠摯最純粹的真愛啊!」569Please respect copyright.PENANAJq2VZiCx3i
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「叮!」宅宅系統音歡樂響起,「恭喜玩家肉盾阿弗羅抗拒誘惑堅守心中所愛,獲得稱號《奸亦有道乃真男人》、經驗值1萬、奧客幣5000,與NPC《族花》好感度+60,與全矮人族NPC好感度+40,現階段奸情養成的《曖昧關係》獲得升級加倍率的祝福,歡迎再接再厲朝情聖邁進唷!」569Please respect copyright.PENANA1wsDgcmcJy
569Please respect copyright.PENANAj9zbcugPDR
這樣也可以?別說肉盾囧了,連泰迪熊都黑線了。於是,族花被感動得淚眼汪汪,從懷裡取出一朵小紅花送給肉盾,留下一句「肉盾哥要幸福喔!」的祝福後,就幽然離去。569Please respect copyright.PENANApGUTORiJEs
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成功解除了異常狀態,肉盾凝視手中的小花,想起了往日種種,忽感人世無常、歲月流逝,便再次腦抽白目發作,朝泰迪熊舉起小花單膝跪下,滿懷深情地說:「喔,這就是哥對你的愛啊!」569Please respect copyright.PENANAgmt96EB3hw
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「叮!」粉色愛心雨中,宅宅系統音表示有話要補充:「但偶爾偷吃也無妨~♥」569Please respect copyright.PENANA9KQZwsdG5Y
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「……」569Please respect copyright.PENANA2D6n3kZeG1
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短暫的沈默代表某人青筋暴露的理智斷線。冷豔俊美的仙魔祭司大人冷笑一聲,抬腳將肉盾踹進正冒出的阿飄群後,便在響徹雲霄的哀嚎中登出遊戲。569Please respect copyright.PENANAEPVGVPr1o5
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「哇啊啊啊!好兄弟們輕一點啊!哥會受不了的呃呃呃呃——」被阿飄們輪得歪歪叫的肉盾,這才在哭哭凌虐中體會到一句絕世箴言——569Please respect copyright.PENANA5lZiSr3BjO
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什麼職業都可以惹,就是千萬不能得罪補師啊!569Please respect copyright.PENANAmksNIUcINV
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)569Please respect copyright.PENANAGRn7frEAxj
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死回月聆城,肉盾坐在復活池旁吃著餅乾發了好一會呆,待體力和飽食度都恢復後,才去找瘸腿二人組交任務。569Please respect copyright.PENANAUaYNm2jG1a
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「哇!一百六十七個?跟那隻小貓妖有得比耶!」哈尼訝異地張大嘴,厚重的眼鏡隨之滑落鼻梁露出圓滾滾的大眼,讓肉盾不禁想到抱著松果的小松鼠。569Please respect copyright.PENANAFkDJIiQ7ZU
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「嘿!原來你跟仙貝小喵咪一樣愛吃這玩意呀!」S.G.伸手拍了拍爆炸頭,將獎勵箱遞了過去。569Please respect copyright.PENANAl8CfFG453x
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「愛吃?」肉盾一頭霧水地接過箱子一看,瞬間就明瞭了——569Please respect copyright.PENANAo5qSmY9VNT
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「叮!恭喜玩家肉盾阿弗羅完成【地府初級日常】《掃不完的穢氣》8.35次,獲得經驗值4175和巧克力草莓83.5顆,歡迎再來幫地府打工唷!」569Please respect copyright.PENANARCJQh8w7Zb
569Please respect copyright.PENANATx2U58P8pV
什麼?打得半死半活,經驗值才四千不說,還連獎金都沒有,只有八十三顆半巧克力草莓,哥要這麼多巧克力草莓做啥啊?有加什麼素質不成?他好奇點開草莓的資訊面板——569Please respect copyright.PENANABwLEyGYhyx
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『【食物】巧克力草莓:沾了巧克力就更好疵的草莓,讓你每天都有如初戀般酸酸甜甜的粉紅好心情唷~♥』569Please respect copyright.PENANAuxnElaE0C8
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也就是說,這個打二十隻阿飄的地府日常任務獎勵,其實只有五百經驗值和十顆沒任何加成作用的草莓,難怪沒人想要做了,到底是地府太窮發不出獎金呢?還是這兩位地府NPC薪水太低了呢?肉盾囧囧有神地拿起那半顆草莓,果真是被切了一半的啊,而且切面十分平整,可說是相當完美的水平面,就連草莓葉都剛剛好一半,不多也不少,證明此刀功極佳,真不愧是遊戲大神啊!569Please respect copyright.PENANA2SFtgLaZLq
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他懷抱莫名油然而生的敬意,將草莓往嘴裡一咬,頓時被一陣酸甜的滿足感灌注心房,彷彿他回到了純純愛戀的青春少年,對浪漫愛情有著無限憧憬,卻也有無數說不出的惆悵苦澀。569Please respect copyright.PENANA7MjHf42rlE
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啊啊啊!哥好想談戀愛啊啊啊啊!569Please respect copyright.PENANAoZmXMsaRit
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不同於肉盾在遊戲裡的惡搞形象,艾登在三次元裡的真實面貌,不僅符合「高富帥」這三個字,還是個追求愛情的浪漫男子。儘管從言行外表看來像個花花公子,每見長得不錯的人都勾搭求約會,然一旦有交往對象,便是一心一意,頂多看到其他美人會忍不住抒發世界真美好之喜悅。569Please respect copyright.PENANA2XeNWOGBwP
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在他這三十三年的人生中,自然也交過幾段感情,可惜往往都是被甩收場。原因有很多種,但大多是差不多的意思——「我受夠你的豬腦了!」這便是上一任戀人提分手時的怒吼。569Please respect copyright.PENANAmWZqxkeCYe
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啊!有誰能明瞭哥傷痕累累的心?滿腹感傷間,他吃著草莓走回中央廣場的傳送陣,想起他與塞倫美人分離的地方也是傳送陣,不免有幾分觸景傷情,便蹲在看管傳送陣的NPC旁,取出族花送的小紅花,從本稻村口的初遇開始細細回憶。569Please respect copyright.PENANAL04JB0iFcd
569Please respect copyright.PENANAbzhj6UoFF6
那幾乎要忘了呼吸的悸動,瞬間就奪走了心魂,讓他僅是一瞥就陷入愛河。唉!有多久沒這般心動了呢?記得上一次是在初中啊。就大部分有理智的人來說,一見鍾情不可取,但對他來說,卻是難以自拔的天性,令他願拼命衝向那份愛戀。當初那段沒有結果的一見鍾情,改變了他這快二十年來的人生走向,這一次又會是如何呢?569Please respect copyright.PENANA29PK6GRrww
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思及此,他不禁感慨地撕起小紅花瓣,一片又一片地低語著:「他喜歡我,他不喜歡我,他喜歡我,他不喜歡我……」569Please respect copyright.PENANAal99n6ny08
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傳送陣的魔法光芒閃爍不定,照得那副反光眼鏡更加閃亮,被撕落的豔紅花瓣隨著魔法氣流飄開,又神奇地落在深綠爆炸頭上,將那個大型花椰菜點綴得紅花綠葉,頗有盆栽造景效果。這就是偏向唬爛行踏出傳送陣時瞥到的景象。569Please respect copyright.PENANAAGCXGDPiUt
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「噗哈哈哈!你在幹嘛啊?撕花瓣這一招也太落伍了吧!」569Please respect copyright.PENANAOWateNUv9q
569Please respect copyright.PENANATh3QVV1Gni
肉盾抬頭,見是那個對他下藥的性感女劍士,便有氣無力地打了招呼:「是你啊,唬爛美人。」569Please respect copyright.PENANArmdRkPJWEK
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這與先前印象截然不同的無精打采,令唬爛收起無良笑聲,過去蹲在一旁拍拍爆炸頭,「做啥這麼沒精神啊?遊戲不愉快?」569Please respect copyright.PENANAJKx2H0mh2f
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「不。」肉盾將拔光的花梗收回包裡,摀住胸口含淚望天,「哥是為情所困。」569Please respect copyright.PENANAPATZc0MxUW
569Please respect copyright.PENANAd2Fz63vEIY
「噗!」那造型配那動作實在太喜感,讓唬爛忍不住再次噴笑,換來肉盾更加苦逼的淚視,她便趕緊憋住笑意,努力擺出知心大姊姊的表情,「怎麼困法啊?說來給姊聽聽,說不准能給點建議。」569Please respect copyright.PENANAAa7o1PPLXt
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「喔喔喔!唬爛美人真是太好了!是這樣的,哥遇到了一個精靈美人……」美女的安慰果真有效,肉盾馬上就被安撫不說,還立刻視唬爛為紅粉知己,將自己與塞倫的事從頭到尾說了遍,但總算還有些隱私權常識,沒將當事人的名字都洩漏。569Please respect copyright.PENANAm0n2lddp1O
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聽著那仔細到不行的相遇組隊合作共患難過程,唬爛看似極其耐心地和顏傾聽,實際上卻已叫出虛擬鍵盤在筆記上打個不停,內心更是充滿喜看奸情的八婆腐腐心聲:『喔呵呵呵呵!多好的題材啊!老娘現在充滿了靈感啊!醜笨矮人攻與美人精靈受什麼的反差CP!超萌啊啊!』569Please respect copyright.PENANAQ10FTYii4s
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好不容易等肉盾說完了,系統也叮叮叮地給兩人八卦指數獎勵後,唬爛才拍拍他的肩,語重心長地說:「唉,兄弟啊,你太急著坦白啦!越是這樣的高嶺之花,越要花心思一步步接近,先讓他放下戒心,培養他對你的信任感才是啊。」569Please respect copyright.PENANAW6yP9X6jyt
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其實,這整句看似廢話的建議,背後還隱藏了一段不含標點的內心狂吼——『……然後再趁其不備時一把撲倒美人狠狠吃個一乾二淨將憋忍多時的愛欲一口氣爆發出來神馬的老娘絕對要寫進新書裡啦哇哈哈哈哈哈!』569Please respect copyright.PENANAPmpZS51OUn
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「對啊!哥怎會沒有想到呢?」對凶猛嗜肉腐女魂毫無覺查的肉盾,恍然大悟地握拳說道,看向唬爛的眼神裡更多了喜遇良友的感動,「唬爛美人,真是太謝謝你了!能娶你為妻的那位仁兄,真是全天下最有福氣的男人啊!」569Please respect copyright.PENANAKFsWmHTS1r
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「噗咳……哈哈!這是當然的啦。」唬爛有些心虛地乾笑揮手,想到自家老公像個苦大媽整天碎念囉唆,但字字句句卻是呵護關愛,心裡不禁也有份甜滋滋的幸福,直想立刻下線去跟老公撒嬌一下,順便玩玩可愛的女兒,便對他丟出加好友申請,「我先走啦,下次再聊,記得隨時跟我匯報進度啊!」569Please respect copyright.PENANA4AWVvUc6q4
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「No problem!」569Please respect copyright.PENANAK0PVRIrHD2
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見好友欄裡又多了個美人名字,肉盾再次忍不住激動地仰天歡呼,世界真美好啊——569Please respect copyright.PENANAcjDiKX9ElB
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)8964 copyright protection565PENANAc5IWH3FKZG 維尼
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後記:8964 copyright protection565PENANAfRauFBmiYq 維尼
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恭喜艾登有愛慕者惹~AWA(###569Please respect copyright.PENANAHtEBXBa1dZ
艾登跟泰哥的過往,以後有機會會來個短篇吧(?569Please respect copyright.PENANAievbHbAlhR
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下篇是小倫美人的日常,之後的主角重心也會漸漸以他為主喔(艸569Please respect copyright.PENANAS528m83pgM
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★【凌家動物園系列】8964 copyright protection565PENANAHZvguVwfdk 維尼
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)569Please respect copyright.PENANAjoqi0nH5Xt
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)569Please respect copyright.PENANAgHZiJ3JN8D
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)569Please respect copyright.PENANA8UnI2VhKf8
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