->>>愛神任務竟無端打聽出人魚傳說,矮人與美人一同出海,卻撞見了?
【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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17-2. 老婆快出來看奸情
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穿過幾條街巷,再爬過一段馬卡龍梯道,兩人來到一家以印度抓餅搭成棚子的小店。老闆娘NPC是個穿圍裙的棕熊大媽,店內一角的碳爐正烤著幾條小魚,陣陣飄香讓已看了一路美食街景的人又飢腸轆轆了起來。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAtw0HYkEhOP
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「是你啊,精靈孩子。」熊大媽放下菜刀在圍裙上擦了擦手,小小的眼珠子往肉盾看了眼,便對塞倫咧嘴笑道:「這次帶了新朋友,是戀人啊?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAiHnIWRmoyb
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「被系統坑的。」都忘了這個NPC大媽也是八卦份子,塞倫無奈嘀咕地將水桶交過去,同時小力踢了下肉盾讓他照辦,「老樣子,麻煩你了。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAazInCOmQGa
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「唉呀,又釣這麼多條,真是太好了,孩子們的晚餐有著落了。」熊大媽接過水桶後,分別給他們一個熱情擁抱,胖嘟嘟的熊身抱人特別有力,「坐一會啊,大娘我馬上就幫你們燒魚。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAktbEFDNiDJ
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「叮!」系統音響起了,「玩家塞倫與玩家肉盾阿弗羅慷慨贈魚,依數量獲得NPC《熊大媽》的好感度+80。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAiwelGzZE1X
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「怎麼回事啊?」找了位子坐下後,肉盾不解問道。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAim9t9H4V7B
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「這家店的魚料理好吃又便宜,只要分一半釣到的魚,她就會免費替我們料理剩下的魚,而且口味絕不重複,吃不完還能打包存起來,有想吃的特定料理也可以指定。」塞倫取來自助碗筷擺好,滿是期待地解說著。1075Please respect copyright.PENANATohyj2Ctzv
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「真的?」肉盾驚喜地環顧四周,卻發現顧客沒有很多,「生意似乎有些冷清啊。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANABnJjFLkCn4
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「因為是平常日,有耐心坐大船釣魚的玩家也沒那麼多。」塞倫不以為意地聳肩道。當初他會發現這家店,是因為唬爛不知聽誰介紹而抓他來大飽口福,愛吃魚的他一嚐就念念不忘,否則以他對小孩的排斥,絕不肯再踏上朦霧島半步。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAloaxwa2Sry
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熊大媽的動作很快,不一會十幾盤新鮮魚料理就全上了桌,他們坐的小桌擺不下,便又多拉三張桌子才出菜完畢。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAekKMmNV8t4
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「喔喔!有這一道耶!」肉盾瞪著眼前的西西里辣味燉鱈魚,立即兩眼發光差點流起口水。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAMDdkRBncWu
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「快吃吧,還得打聽珊瑚礁島的消息。」不意外他這副饞樣,塞倫失笑地催促道,手中筷子也直朝清蒸石斑伸去。滑嫩鮮甜的魚肉入口即化,難以形容的古早風味於唇齒間散開,讓他滿足地露出懷念神情。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAiFKtD4DYeK
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肉盾見狀,也不再猶豫地大啖起來。紅蕃茄酸中帶甜與鮮嫩鱈魚恰到好處地融合,殘留舌尖的微辣刺激舌蕾,卻又能完美保留清淡橄欖香帶出的田園自然風味,讓吃慣美食的他又一次欣喜地驚呼,甚至流下感動的淚水,「嗚喔喔喔喔!熊大媽真是太厲害了!居然能做出跟我奶奶一樣味道的燉魚,喔天!我好久沒吃了,太懷念了啊!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAPnLxzNwsd2
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「這就是這家店的厲害,即使是同一道菜,每個人吃起來卻是不同味道,但都是記憶中的家常味。」塞倫解釋完,抬眼望見肉盾正吸著鼻子吃魚,不禁柔聲問:「你奶奶也愛煮魚?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANArXk6WVl821
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「是啊,我最愛她煮的魚了,她可是有獨門秘方的,可惜我十六歲時她就走了,沒來得及傳授給我們,我還以為再也吃不到了。」肉盾接過塞倫遞來的紙巾擦了把臉又擤了鼻涕,繼續邊吃邊哽咽道,「還記得以前我爺爺每次釣魚回來,奶奶都會親手燉給他吃,爺爺總說這菜有他們相愛的回憶……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA8XJygn5bW7
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肉盾斷斷續續說著兩老的事,塞倫也細細品嚐自己的清蒸魚,聽得入神時,便隨對方的情緒揚起嘴角,時而隨之感傷鼻酸,直到最後,他見肉盾仍滿臉通紅地直落淚,心想這人跟奶奶的感情竟也如此深厚,就不忍地輕聲哄慰,「別傷心了,逝者已矣,你要好好地過,她老人家才能安息。」說完,他不禁苦笑了下,勸人如此,自己又何嘗有做到?1075Please respect copyright.PENANAhTby75iVy9
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誰知,肉盾竟茫然地抹了抹臉,「嗄?我沒傷心啊,好不容易吃到這失傳的味道,我高興都來不及了。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAcclz8uD09Q
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「那你哭什麼?」塞倫愣了,別告訴他是喜極而泣啊!1075Please respect copyright.PENANAODGZOOB01P
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「喔,哥對辣比較敏感啦,一吃辣就流淚,但又很愛吃,哈哈哈哈!」肉盾恍然大悟笑道。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAdL0YSBPKZs
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「……」塞倫頓時無語,還他白白浪費的感傷啊混蛋!1075Please respect copyright.PENANAls0DvYCpPK
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沒察覺那暗潮洶湧的內心怒吼,肉盾依舊掛著兩串淚樂顛顛地問:「小倫呢?那是中式的清蒸魚吧?什麼味道?我知道小貝兒超愛吃的,每次去中菜館都要點……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAece2jV8P3f
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見這傢伙又有長篇大論之勢,塞倫索性夾了一大口魚肉堵住他的嘴,「你自己吃看看。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAjUg7Ks20kb
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嗚喔喔喔!小倫餵哥吃魚喔喔喔喔喔!肉盾再次感動地流下淚水,真正地喜極而泣了。系統也適時飄起了粉色愛心雨——1075Please respect copyright.PENANAduca6pJCuj
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「叮!玩家塞倫貼心餵戀人肉盾阿弗羅吃魚,兩人的情侶等級由1級升至2級,歡迎再接再厲閃死更多人唷~♥」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAuOZktBcQts
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塞倫這下真想哭了,他作啥又自己挖坑跳啊?1075Please respect copyright.PENANALEWoQBDqgY
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「呣呣……喔,這味道哥在泰的家裡吃過,的確是我吃過的清蒸魚中最好吃的一次……」肉盾欣喜地咬了咬,一時興來就忍不住想分享那天去品嚐小兔子手藝的事。1075Please respect copyright.PENANA0NjV86tbX3
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「……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAHbktfp4QAZ
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塞倫頓失興致地撇回頭,不知為何,每當聽肉盾興高采烈地聊起泰迪熊時,他就有種說不清的怪異感。他無奈地埋頭繼續吃蒸魚,腦海裡不斷浮起許久前的往事——記得他第一次吃到這魚,是奶奶帶他離開台北回鹿港的那晚。1075Please respect copyright.PENANApzt5q2C3VX
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『他們不要你,阿嬤要,倫倫以後有阿嬤疼惜,唔驚。』奶奶親手煮了豐盛的晚餐,夾起肥美的清蒸魚放進他的碗裡,注視自己的滄桑雙眸夾雜心疼不捨。他聽著老人家慈愛溫柔的細語,吃著瞬間暖入心房的美味,從那一刻起,他的生命才真正開始。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAM3ryxrRxBG
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每個人記憶中最懷念的家常味,都有個所謂的獨門秘方——奶奶對他的愛、肉盾家祖父母對彼此的愛,或是肉盾對……1075Please respect copyright.PENANAesTvwioXKC
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「小倫會煮飯嗎?我猜小倫來煮的話會更好吃,啊,好想吃小倫親手蒸的魚啊,還有其他料理,小倫的手藝一定很好,肯定不止會煮魚,還會……」肉盾忽來的一問打斷塞倫的思緒,偏又說到一嗨就跳開焦點,岔了老遠又轉回來,直巴著塞倫的手不停說:「喔,哥真的好想試試小倫煮的菜啊!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAxAudis8R1k
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接下來的內容概括來說,就是不停哀求人家賞他一頓愛心料理,吵得塞倫一煩就脫口說:「好啦,有機會的話。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAwa894O7kgN
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Oh yes!小倫答應為哥下廚了!喔喔喔!哥真是太興奮啦!肉盾再次樂得沸騰,完全忘了兩人之間還有條大西洋要跨,要去人家家裡蹭飯吃可沒那麼容易。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAHGCps9ys1o
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糟,這厚臉皮的豬頭強以後肯定要得寸進尺了!才說完就後悔不已的塞倫,懊惱地瞪著手舞足蹈歡呼的爆炸頭,半晌又被那蠢樣給氣笑了,傻蛋一個,見得到面再說吧,哼!1075Please respect copyright.PENANAtfS5qNHtqf
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祭了五臟廟,又四處轉了轉,卻在折回熊大媽的店後,意外打聽到珊瑚礁島的消息,接著肉盾就得趕上班了。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAkKziJJwb23
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「老……我是說小倫,哥十一點再上來,到時給你陪睡啊!」肉盾說完也不等回應就下線,獨留被那句話弄得面紅耳赤的人。1075Please respect copyright.PENANA0U0LnXDEH5
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什麼陪睡?難聽死了!誰要那豬頭陪啊!想起自己前天竟莫名在肉盾懷裡睡著,塞倫就羞恥得想往大海一跳,直接淹死自己算了。1075Please respect copyright.PENANApqbC9A12HE
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可惜,包圍朦霧島的那層魔法屏障堅固得很,多少萌物孩子還把它當彈力牆跳蹦戲耍,他要真想一頭撞上去也只有被彈回來的份。雖說從外頭看來,朦霧島是被灰濛雲霧重重遮蔽,彷彿被關在裡頭的人過著不見天日的牢獄生活,然而,那層屏障對島上的人來說,卻是透明得像不曾存在過,若非親眼所見、親身經歷,誰也無法相信朦霧島其實歡樂得像翻版的迪士尼樂園。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAvy0pi2xD6f
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「唉……」忽感沒勁地趴在桌上,塞倫望著一片蔚藍的天海相連,徐徐海風吹來被陽光曬過的鹽味,迴盪耳畔的浪潮似在低吟久遠的故事,催眠威力堪比飯後聽老教授語焉不明的演講,倒真催起他幾分懶洋洋的睡意。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAOhbm9CrlZS
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「這麼快就在想你的戀人啦?」正切著菜的熊大媽,忽然抬頭對他曖昧一笑。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAX7TwnPgPU4
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「才沒有!」塞倫驚愕得坐起身,微紅著臉辯駁,「我們只是很普通的網友。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANATqx8buwSqT
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「是這樣啊,你不喜歡他嗎?我瞧那矮人孩子挺好啊。」熊大媽進一步反問,完全體現了奧普斯NPC們追求八卦的熱誠。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAhgZfjqVdLn
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「他人是不錯啦。」塞倫趴回桌上咕噥著。真要細想的話,撇掉刻意搞壞的造型,肉盾確實是個性格挺好的傢伙,講義氣又肯照顧人,雖然呆頭呆腦的,但有時也挺會逗人開心,臉皮厚得很欠揍,卻又樂天得讓人哭笑不得。客觀來說,不論是作朋友還是作情人,肉盾都還算過得去,只是……他給不了對方想要的。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAzwpU6KaWNn
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「呵呵,感情嘛,就是這麼回事。」熊大媽放下菜刀,一對又黑又圓的小眼珠裡是經歷人生風雨的智慧光芒,「汲汲於追求夢想中最耀眼的星,驀然回首,才知身邊早有人為你捧著最美的心。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAqXlNpzhUT9
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塞倫沈默地勾起一抹愁苦的弧度,卻還來不及想什麼,便聽熊大媽又說:「就像我們熊族的一首情歌,那是最浪漫動人的詩句,訴說遠古以來最撼動天地的真愛。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA5UrK7IP8qz
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熊、熊族最浪漫的情歌?1075Please respect copyright.PENANA0zlxUZ0C4h
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他怔愣望著晃到面前的熊大媽,正納悶對方想幹嘛時,就見熊大媽深吸了口氣後,一道震攝心魂的渾厚歌聲,便隨著扭動圓滾肚腩的壯碩熊身,粗獷霸氣地悠揚響起。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAm9pVN5Vmit
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「吼嗚嘎咿嘎喔啊啊——呼哈咿呀吼吸搭——唉啾咑死他——」1075Please respect copyright.PENANALN07z9atuc
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「……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAqbC1zJsgnw
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熊族的浪漫,他真心難懂啊!此刻,塞倫的狀態只能用四個字形容——風・中・凌・亂。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAd7HyLPS943
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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珊瑚礁島,又一次的顧名思義,就是由珊瑚礁形成的島嶼,官方在取名上的惰性已經到了不叫小島ABC就謝天謝地了。根據熊大媽的消息,相傳海的一隅有以珊瑚礁為宮殿的夢幻王國,裡面住著世上最神秘罕見的美麗生物——《人魚》。他們有著最純粹的澄澈嗓音,為迷路的海上子民指引回家的路,卻也能迷惑人心使其墮落;他們是唯一能傾聽大海聲音的種族,故而擁有最淵博的知識。1075Please respect copyright.PENANA5VZgNe55L1
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不過,這些都只是古老傳說。現在的珊瑚礁島只是個很普通的偏僻小島,該島的生活也相當簡約,換句話說,就是十分落後。從朦霧島租快艇出發,只需二十至三十分鐘就到了,至於他們能跟島上居民問出什麼神奇藥水,熊大媽也不得而知了。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAGau8trjY46
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「聽起來像是要我們去找人魚打聽生長藥水。」塞倫喃喃低語地打開地圖,比對熊大媽為他們做的標註與航線,爾後又困惑地偏了頭,「不論是玩家還是NPC,遊戲從來就沒出過人魚族,怎麼一個月宮副本任務就突然扯上人魚了?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAKX2RiipaOB
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAKcU9E8p9bz
「也許這就是任務要我們去挖掘的秘密了,人魚耶!好期待啊!」上班開小差的肉盾興奮說道。1075Please respect copyright.PENANARjpC2POlyh
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAnrRUuMTmzy
「你確定能這樣蹺班?」塞倫有些擔憂,要是任務做到一半,肉盾就被抓下線怎麼辦?感覺泰迪熊在現實也是個很強硬的老闆啊。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAnAXAdceL0X
1075Please respect copyright.PENANApyIlbh6lDH
「沒問題啦!哥好歹也是副總,提前一小時午休OK的啦。」肉盾挺起矮人胸膛,仰著一顆爆炸小強頭,看起來莫名有喜感,「何況泰下午自己也會蹺班陪小貝兒玩,我還得幫他代班勒。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA4GxUEqJj3N
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAu719gL3Lft
「……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA3ntj7eRGA9
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAVwv1SDwDWe
兩個領導都這樣打混,這家公司沒問題吧?不知拉文德家底細的塞倫,實在為他們旗下的員工捏了把冷汗。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAqCxBXCBSD1
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAmXQoMr93Cg
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA5sXDCVHl2E
熊大媽指引的航線挺安全,沿途的怪不多,等級也較低,塞倫隨手召喚個靈寵放著打就行,無須一開打就招更多仇恨的肉盾動手。在快艇行至距目的座標約五公里處,海水的顏色忽然變深,陽光下的粼粼海波比藍寶石還深邃幽藍,更添一番神秘風貌,彷彿他們進入了一個遺世獨立的特殊海域。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAOijQoA420p
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAJx0z0BSoTA
「感覺在這一帶出沒的人更少了。」負責開船的肉盾眺望四周道。先前還有不少NPC漁船經過,越往珊瑚礁島就越人煙罕見,到這深藍海域時,就幾乎看不到其他船隻了。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAGZ1e3xoRi0
1075Please respect copyright.PENANALjL46ADTlm
「大概是離朦霧島太遠了吧。」塞倫趴在船沿注視了會海面,發現此時已不如之前容易觀察到怪的活動蹤跡,這代表了兩種可能:一是這裡的怪變少,二是這裡的怪更精明難應付。倘若是後者,那這個任務恐怕就不是打聽藥水這麼單純了。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAYn2sNUxCVz
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAV5HM0goSDv
幾分鐘後,各形狀的珊瑚礁岩陸續出現在海面上,若一個不小心就會觸礁翻船。肉盾放緩速度小心翼翼地繞開,持續朝座標前行,直到一座銀灰色的島嶼出現在眼前,他們才找了個好靠岸的淺灘下船。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAIxxcFXKqcA
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAfypzegYSSf
珊瑚礁島以銀灰色來描述實在不為過,遠遠看去就是一片光禿,近看更是連片苔蘚都沒有,實在讓人懷疑這島上是否真有居民。正當他們沿著岸邊的石灘往內走去時,一對男女NPC便忽從不遠處的大石奔來,似是在爭執著什麼。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAstHKMELjOE
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAvs2JtR5xQd
「不!你聽我解釋、你聽我解釋、你聽我解釋啊!」瘦小乾扁的尖鳥嘴女子,以極嚴重的外八腳追著前方的壯男,激動得豎起一頭灰藍毛。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAJxAksufOz8
1075Please respect copyright.PENANADGSVcNuPNR
「我不聽、我不聽、我不聽!」一身橙褐皮的高大壯男扭著小內八,哭哭啼啼地拼命奔逃,滿是淚水的圓圓大臉下似有什麼膜在不停鼓起。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAg62rnxBmlB
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAeDmimZ26QX
眼見壯男如此頑劣,尖鳥嘴女子索性往前飛撲,以一招九陰白骨爪狠狠抓住目標物後,就瘋狂地前後搖著對方怒吼,大有馬X濤之魂上身,「要聽、要聽、一定要聽!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAAWobUwIURW
1075Please respect copyright.PENANANh2V8ZJXHS
自知難逃魔爪,壯男竟乾脆雙手摀住耳朵,左右晃動一身壯碩肌肉,嗲著雄厚粗嗓說:「不聽、不聽、就是不聽!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA0IaNKImuIT
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAYVNT5fSK1D
欸,這……是怎麼一回事?塞倫和肉盾站在原地傻眼了,這對NPC哪裡不吵偏要堵在他們面前吵就算了,這些怪奇的動作又是哪來的靈感?系統你要不要來解釋一下?1075Please respect copyright.PENANAlRMvbwxxKR
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAKbRLCd7Vtt
而系統也彷彿聽到了他們心聲,快速地讓倆NPC從相愛相罵的——1075Please respect copyright.PENANAae7Xw2Aom8
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA85eKSGj5bZ
「你這殘忍的小東西!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAtvTVkrHi5k
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAqTbQpS9oez
「你可以打我、可以罵我、可以罵我懦夫,但你怎麼可以說我愛你是騙你的?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAQwgpLg6Bj6
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAXrPkeVFQ9R
演到無限循環的——1075Please respect copyright.PENANAgnuXzdXowN
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAs1SE5UABZO
「你無情!你殘酷!你無理取鬧!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAivSaBUyyhA
1075Please respect copyright.PENANASekveErZPd
「那你就不無情?不殘酷?不無理取鬧?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAv9UbaEzjfd
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAemaZqcwuXU
「我哪裡無情?哪裡殘酷?哪裡無理取鬧?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAKI9EGvgN4B
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAWKThm7u9UB
「你哪裡不無情?哪裡不殘酷?哪裡不無理取鬧?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAKBoXUvNVr8
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAW9lCQtHalU
再來了段互相懺悔的真情剖白——1075Please respect copyright.PENANAqLn37ktP1S
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAQwSOw26qse
「為什麼我們的情感總是那麼強烈、驚天動地?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAC5lj6kyuhD
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAycXjCLtwRC
「你不能恨我,你不能因爲我這麽愛你而恨我。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAcchWOSZTqX
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAiUfpUr6Uaz
「你痛,我也痛!你痛,我更痛!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAL1IjlreaS7
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAXnvyfxS2kM
最後,終於回到相罵完要相愛的——1075Please respect copyright.PENANAejI7nVrBh8
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAwgkEZG5Rg6
「山無稜,天地合,才敢與君絕。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAkoTL0lPYZv
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAcdJnw7Mllw
「我答應你今後只和你一起看雪看星星看月亮,從詩詞歌賦談到人生哲學。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAGEG7Frpjkb
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAZaT1NZqIsv
「我開心得暈了,陶醉得暈了,享受得暈了。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANADCMiI0efVP
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAKJIMvRYBzQ
「好,你暈吧,我在你身邊,如果你暈倒了,我會抱住你。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA92yD7Noz27
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAhMceTJd2hF
「喔~」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAyBc0OO9qiH
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAsC6e3pSTFg
看到這裡,塞倫已忍不住想掩面啜泣了,不是被這些經典瓊X戲感動的,而是被深深視覺傷害的。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAAKhABsY8AB
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAaW0C1StU16
此時,壯男嬌羞地將一身肌肉癱軟在尖嘴女單薄的懷裡,各種扭蹭地發出「嗯~」的撒嬌熊音,尖嘴女還噘起已經夠尖的嘴喙,不斷「呣啊」、「呣啊」地在壯男圓鼓鼓的臉上親啊親,雖然看起來更像戳啊戳,啄得壯男滿臉血洞卻嬌吟依舊,大有直飛另一種獵奇禁戀之勢。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAP65ob6V9AQ
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAxdQbWOIrNP
「那個……」幸好這裡還有一位始終看不懂這些梗的阿豆仔,肉盾不解地皺了眉頭後,決定不恥下問地舉起手,臉上的宅宅眼鏡竟透著好學的求知慾,語氣裡有難掩的莫名激動,「請問『三五零天地喝』什麼的可以麻煩再說一次嗎?哥從沒聽過這麼有深度的告白,實在是太驚人了啊,一定要學下來才行!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAhR1zGMfI6R
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAHdlxMs1LHD
「……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANALsMAvABRmn
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAKmGqQ9Ssqn
這下不止NPC都愣了,塞倫也錯愕瞪向那顆腦缺的爆炸頭,這是哪門子的深度?這豬頭該不會也打算拿這一套對自己吧?那他絕對會一掌打死這臭豬腦的!1075Please respect copyright.PENANAHu9DZ0EOoR
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAfiA2jWuU85
不過,NPC的思維顯然與塞倫不在同一線上。只見壯男在回過神後,就發出一聲慘烈的尖叫,迅速敏捷地跳起來,躲在尖嘴女瘦小的背後,驚恐地顫抖著一身剽悍肌肉,嗲著粗音道:「呀啊~怎、怎麼會有陌生人在這?咕咕,人家好怕怕啊!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAy4oDH9uSE6
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAlrm7YebXXz
「不怕!我可愛的嘓兒,咕咕會保護你的!」尖嘴女咕咕的雙手立即化成一對螃蟹大鉗,虎虎生風地朝他們揮舞威脅道,「逆賊!還不快速速退去?小心本門派的芋泥劍法!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA1pU5sdctid
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAIkZ3KXuzxP
「天,這已經雷到不能再雷了。」塞倫再次挫敗掩面,這遊戲為何連金庸都不放過?還他那些快意恩仇的俠骨柔情啊! 1075Please respect copyright.PENANAaWO0Zqydl5
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAjWJrKp2Xjb
「咕咕?嘓?」依舊沒聽懂的肉盾,再次好奇了地打量著兩NPC,「一下嘓嘓叫、一下咕咕叫,難道你們是青蛙族和鴿子螃蟹混種嗎?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANADNmfLAZrvX
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA8TSlo0ty5W
「什麼!你……你怎麼會知道?」NPC頓時大驚,嘓兒也不裝嬌弱地直起身與咕咕面面相覷,系統也於這時響起了——1075Please respect copyright.PENANAAezWUdAuDp
1075Please respect copyright.PENANABKg3XXbk6T
「叮!玩家肉盾阿弗羅真相了NPC《嘓兒》與NPC《咕咕》的血脈來源,獲得戳破盲腸度+80,歡迎再接再厲戳破更多NPC的盲腸唷!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA8dkaulk3i2
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAOUtftBCnv2
「這位矮人少俠真是好眼力,在下的確是蛙人族後裔。」嘓兒朝肉盾抱了下拳,下巴處的鼓膜咕嚕漲起又縮回,臉上的血洞便瞬間復原。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAtz8t3r9gFO
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAT3cM2yZ8Ls
身為海鴿與螃蟹混種的咕咕則收起巨鉗,用手指梳著散亂的頭髮,「兩位是來自大陸的子民吧,大老遠來咱們這座小島,是有何要事呢?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAx4ilJplq6x
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA7HvRhgwcE0
「我們想打聽生長藥水……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAhAK8bRcjFy
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAjLGIknlMor
塞倫話沒說完,嘓兒就似耳背地反問:「啊,腎臟要衰?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAjV8qVjM3TC
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAxP0Ca7VYh7
「呃,不……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAFA3hmoTpq6
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAJPeKbvCL6S
「唉呀!你腎有病啊?」咕咕又搶著接道,「腎有病可得趕緊看醫生啊!」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAu0bf4WVMPp
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAQyffMclb9z
「沒錯沒錯!正所謂『肝不好,人生是黑白的』可見腎有多重要啊,一定要趕快醫!」嘓兒自認推理正確地鄭重叮嚀道。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAZHmQ4v0USq
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAMD0LQ7ufv8
「對啊,醫了腎之後,還可以順便看看腦。」咕咕還靈光一閃地拍掌建議道,嘓兒自是大力贊成。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAu3YWxU5pdj
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAGNAZqH0ZF0
「好主意啊!畢竟腎殘了還可以換腎,腦殘了就沒藥醫。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA1zLVa0WsCZ
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAVRy0tpDsEY
「沒藥醫該怎麼辦啊?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAGjXRiJVRN0
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAl0mPIdOrmB
完全不給他們機會解釋嘛!在這雞同鴨講中,肉盾若有所思地摸著下巴,頂上的小強觸角也似有所感地擺處沈思者造型。萬般無奈的塞倫,更是低語抱怨了句:「你們才腦殘。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAudu1Veekwb
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAHGLMCxJzX1
「老蟾?原來你要找老蟾呀,早說嘛!」嘓兒和咕咕恍然大悟地笑開了臉,一同轉身朝遠方齊聲呼喊:「老蟾!來接客唷——」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAHcFdza01Y6
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA7RmW2qDIee
於是,一隻兩腳直立行走的大蟾蜍,就趴搭趴搭地跳了出來,理應只有兩個洞的鼻孔處竟多了鼻梁,末端的黑鼻頭還微動地嗅聞著。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAVEv93QoNWF
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1GLRPqH9I
這島上的NPC到底是怎麼回事啊?塞倫和肉盾再次囧了。1075Please respect copyright.PENANANVAGbB6s0Z
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAzxlW0OzLKd
「勾~誰找勾?」老蟾歪著脖子看向兩人,手中還抱著一本書,「勾正忙著寫遊記說。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAhsN1VxaMIF
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAEOl6ZRRSL2
「什麼遊記啊?」肉盾不禁好奇一問。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAfZihnRpy4i
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA52KvXhAVcB
老蟾立即驕傲地挺起白肚皮,對他們展現寫著一串鬼話符的書皮,「《老蟾遊記》記載勾到世界遊歷時的所見所聞。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA9bQWH6O1L9
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA7heTBtFHXY
幸好不是叫腦殘遊記,否則劉鶚要哭了!塞倫漂亮的臉上已滑滿了黑線。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAss9c0lxRvQ
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAeutlByYFwG
肉盾從沒讀過這些中國文學大作,自然還是不懂《老蟾遊記》的梗,便又不解地抓了抓頭,「到處見什麼就聞什麼……難道你是狗族嗎?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAwHANcWcOPs
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAnidDeVmSk4
老蟾頓時大驚,「勾!你怎麼知道勾有犬族血統的?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAtO6tA8IyoI
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAtz18nEie4r
「叮!」響起的系統音表示肉盾又真相了,塞倫已吐槽不能,決定放任肉盾跟這群NPC隨意發展神劇情。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAgMWLAGvQrt
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA8KvU9J53sj
一旁的咕咕和嘓兒也震驚不已,於是,三隻NPC神色警惕地圍在一起滴滴咕咕一番後,老蟾才清了清嗓子,轉回身看向他們,「勾,聽說兩位是想打聽什麼藥水嗎?可惜我們這座小島什麼都沒有,連根海草都要分著吃,恐怕兩位是要無功而返了,勾。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANAfzT3Wjxzpu
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAOly8s7jhxo
嘓兒也伸手在褲襠裡掏了半天,才可憐兮兮地拿出一小根曬乾的黑海草,「不然,你把這帶回去試試也可以啦,海草還挺營養的,多吃多健康。」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA7nCxk9NyPV
1075Please respect copyright.PENANArNBiynwEyd
「……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANATklEdaF0Je
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA3TZToBg6F4
「……」1075Please respect copyright.PENANASLO1WR55c3
1075Please respect copyright.PENANA7Nduent2oB
吃的東西藏那裡真的可以嗎?兩人抽著嘴角無言了,而對方話都講到這份上了,他們再試探也是白搭,不如先離開商量下對策。1075Please respect copyright.PENANA919PwMpsqE
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAxW77XkJN0c
「抱歉打擾了。」塞倫笑著婉拒嘓兒的好意後,就拉著肉盾往外走,心裡有諸多思量。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAgnRujGkAnq
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAftcDDtTAP5
明白塞倫的意思,肉盾隨之轉身,突發奇想地問了句:「老蟾說我們要『蜈蚣餓翻』是叫我們去打什麼蜈蚣怪嗎?」1075Please respect copyright.PENANA4PQUZzc4os
1075Please respect copyright.PENANAPokrYX5zR7
「是無功而返。」塞倫頭痛地糾正道,卻不知身後三位NPC又是臉色一變。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAp3wEQcorHV
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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後記:
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由此可證,貝貝的爛中文真的不是他的錯,從小被腦缺艾登和有台灣國語的阿公潛移默化什麼的,泰哥實在也愛莫能助啊XDDD1075Please respect copyright.PENANAK88xkkzlC1
所以,辛苦小倫美人快接受艾登以解救蒼生吧~AWA(#1075Please respect copyright.PENANA9ziQBoAv64
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【下篇預告】《美人再親一個》:潛入珊瑚礁島驚見神秘身影,艾、倫大難不死有親親。字數約五千左右,預估禮拜六早上發。1075Please respect copyright.PENANAtQ0WjCCstQ
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★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)1075Please respect copyright.PENANA5bohI6AFma
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)1075Please respect copyright.PENANAmICPB5qvgK
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)1075Please respect copyright.PENANAzJouHgFDHf
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歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<1075Please respect copyright.PENANAH10uxuh76A
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噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde1075Please respect copyright.PENANAe0DgedCWgs
FB粉絲頁:https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky1075Please respect copyright.PENANArd976Lv7H1
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 01.13.2016
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