->>>論如何一招釣美人,讓窩乃告訴尼,喵~OwO
【凌家動物園III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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4-2. 美人來勾搭吧
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「全都六十級以上,真的可以嗎?」望著滿草地亂跳的怪,隻隻都頭頂鮮紅色的名字,肉盾不禁冒了滴冷汗。這時間已是台灣的半夜,會上線的都是些夜貓子或像他們這種時差黨,正好這一區又較偏僻,怪的等級雖高卻經驗普通且掉寶率低,沒人會來這一區練功,頂多只有幫村民撿菜苗集掉落物的少數玩家,因而造就了眼前滿地怪閒閒晃的景象。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6bmnV8EjB
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「沒問題的啦,照你平常怎麼被我哥扁……我是說怎麼跟我哥過招的方式去打啦,技能和裝備都只是輔助而已。」喵喵仙貝收起Pocky巧克力棒,轉而拿出一根長約七、八十公分的七彩螺旋花紋棒棒糖,賊笑地對肉盾揮了揮,「快點快點,蒼蠅拍騎士要記得拿下頭巾唷!」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAnAoQ94SIyZ
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敢情這小吃貨的包裡全是零食啊!肉盾無言以對,只能以無辜澄澈到鏡片反光加倍的眼神望向泰迪熊,卻只換來對方冷若冰霜的一瞥。於是,他只好認命地解下頭巾,以萬夫莫敵之勢揮著愛的小手衝向怪群。1157Please respect copyright.PENANARm5QEGRRfx
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誠如喵喵仙貝所言,系統賦予的職業技能只是讓大眾玩家能藉遊戲數值一享殺敵快感,但若能結合本身的武打能力或專業知識,甚至自創戰鬥方式,其攻擊力就不是那些預設技能所能比擬了。這也是為何他們敢讓只有三十級的肉盾去越級挑戰六十級的怪,更何況他們還有個不一般的祭司。1157Please respect copyright.PENANA38HoRtioKf
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快速給隊伍上了加防、加速、加回血等狀態,泰迪熊確認那顆爆炸頭的仇恨值發揮良好,舉凡目光所及的怪都直朝肉盾撲去,連往他們這邊瞧一眼都沒有後,便對喵喵仙貝溫柔一笑,「好了,寶貝兒盡情地玩吧。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAFdyXHvC08q
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「喔耶!燒烤剉冰一起來!」喵喵仙貝立刻朝怪群揮舞棒棒糖念起咒語,一時間空中降下無數冰雹與火球,又凍又燒得怪群歪歪叫,轉眼間倒地大半,卻仍無一隻轉過頭來怒瞪高傷害系的元素法師,可見爆炸頭仇恨威力之猛。於是,他就繼續歡快地降雷噴火又刮大雪,不出幾分鐘,就將所有的怪都滅得零零落落。1157Please respect copyright.PENANACmtzEaQVRL
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這一廂放魔法放得歡樂,那一廂扛怪扛得苦連連。肉盾怎麼說也才三十級,血量終究是低人一等,這些怪隨便貓個一拳,就噴掉他一半血量,而這還是爆炸頭減傷效果後的傷害值了。幸好泰迪熊的技術夠高竿,不但能抓緊時間適時補血,又不時施放盲目咒降低怪的擊中率,因此,肉盾還能仗著身高優勢,翻滾閃躲連連避開攻擊,再搭上他的特殊技,「頭好壯壯!」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAN2Y5ypADxS
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命令一出,一道透明防護罩以肉盾為中心,爆發半徑十尺的強烈氣流震暈週身的怪,同時抵銷當下承受的攻擊並瞬間滿血滿體,還能維持一分鐘減免傷害50%的效果,可說是騎士們的夢幻技能啊!1157Please respect copyright.PENANACGRK8VVpfK
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當喵喵仙貝的瘋狂火雨滅了九成怪後,肉盾總算鬆了口氣地站起身,順手朝僅剩的大野狼拍去愛的小手,一聲囧死三人的響亮哀嚎便響起了。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAdvgZ2hrmu4
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「啊啊,你討厭~♥」兩米高的大野狼夾住雙腿摀著被爆擊的下體,含淚嬌嗔地朝肉盾飄出粉色愛心。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAgxbw5KKig8
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「……」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAXLyLNvDPPR
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「……」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAnkBJWC5Jv9
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「抱、抱歉,身高差和角度所致,哥不是故意的!」肉盾黑線地收回愛的小手,默默在內心流下兩行清淚。要不要這麼巧啊?系統是在整哥吧!正當他思忖是否再補一拍解決這剩幾滴血的怪時,一道歪斜的雷擊就將大野狼給電成焦碳狼肉。1157Please respect copyright.PENANA2SYLkqazbn
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「我總算明白豬頭登說怪武器是怪在哪了……」喵喵仙貝搓了搓驚愕到僵掉的臉,有些恍惚地喃喃說道。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAP2Lpmw0Dfo
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唯有泰迪熊淡定地補了血,伸手輕揉弟弟的頭,視線卻遠眺草原看不到邊際的前方,眉間透著一股凝重。與他在商界奮戰多年的肉盾,立刻就有默契地環視四周,臉皮也漸漸顫了起來,「不、不會吧?」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAKNPfGjek3U
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「什麼不會吧?」從哥哥包裡掏出餅乾的喵喵仙貝,邊吃邊好奇地在他們之間張望,半晌才聽到由遠漸近的轟隆聲,便連忙吞下嘴裡的東西,驚恐地張大雙眼看向哥哥,「該不是豬頭登的仇恨範圍變廣了吧?」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAvIYIOw2Azi
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「有可能。」泰迪熊瞄了眼任務面板上的更新內容,迅速將所有防護助攻狀態全補上後,望向大量湧現的狼怪軍團,「看來那隻大野狼是任務關鍵。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAz1v1D6AFY8
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「咦?」其他兩人連忙察看任務面板——『【特殊任務】《禍害草原的外來客》:野狼族族草之死引發野狼族的暴走,請將暴走的怪全數擊斃。注意:若有成員仇恨值過高,極可能擴大仇恨範圍,請玩家務必小心。』1157Please respect copyright.PENANAcPB6kqsK1C
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剛、剛那個是族草?還有擴大仇恨範圍又是怎樣啦?肉盾和喵喵仙貝無語了。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAtfd5ZdOaIH
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「貝兒先群攻清光血薄的小怪,再一一針對高等怪,記得還要場控外圍,艾登專心拉怪開防保命。」快速交代後,泰迪熊低唸一串咒語,湖綠色的左眼瞬間盈滿黑氣,左臉頰也浮起黑色紋路。他對有些緊張的喵喵仙貝溫柔安撫道:「不怕,有哥在。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAvjdWQZiRYC
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見泰迪熊啟動了半魔化,即表示對方會一起參與戰鬥,喵喵仙貝便安下心,左手取出Pocky巧克力魔法棒,右手持好棒棒糖法杖,待第一批怪衝進肉盾的五尺範圍後,就朝較外圍的怪放出安眠咒,空中頓時飄起一大片字母Z。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAa5CGzKOkR7
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肉盾揮著愛的小手擺出備戰姿勢,準備抓時機開啟頭好壯壯。這時,腳下的地面忽然變得一片漆黑,像是冒著毒氣泡的黑沼澤,他楞了楞才發現自己沒受到影響,雙腳仍好好站在地面上,再抬頭望向半魔化的泰迪熊,才明白對方先前說只要專心開防保命的意思。1157Please respect copyright.PENANA7fELFxGd2o
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於是,他將反光眼鏡移回圍住自己的怪群身上,發出鬼畜味極重的奸笑,「嘿嘿嘿,都乖乖來給哥巴臉吧!」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAomsrUDbpn4
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♥ (*´∀`*)人(*´∀`*)♥ ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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塞倫從沒想過,不過是半夜失眠玩個遊戲,他竟會遇到從此改變遊戲生涯的轉折,簡直可說是一入狼坑深似海啊!1157Please respect copyright.PENANAS9uZHLmA5N
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上了線後,他想著要採集藥材的地區離本稻村不遠,就乾脆接個收集獸牙的打怪小日常。誰知道,怪打到一半就莫名跑走不說,他追著追著,竟還看到如此誇張的一幕——1157Please respect copyright.PENANAw3A4auf8oo
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彷彿整張地圖的怪都集中在這一片草地,數十隻怪以定格的動作停在原地睡覺,不遠處更有數不清雙眼被烏雲罩住的怪圍著一個滾來竄去的矮人暴打,就連自己方才追趕的怪也混在其中。在這群圍毆團的上方,不停落下冰火雷電等法術,草地上是大片幽黑的毒氣侵蝕怪的腳,周圍還不時有黑色氣流穿過怪的身體吸取生命。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAGDLteBfe03
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該不是闖進別人的練功區了?疑惑間,他瞥見矮人獨特的深綠爆炸頭與反光眼鏡,便認出那是在本稻村口遇到的玩家,同時也近來被世界頻道狂吐槽的花椰菜頭。記得對方的裝備不過才三十級左右,這樣練功也太拼了吧?算了,他晚點再做任務好了。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAmoTf6jyaT6
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正當塞倫要離開時,一個視窗面板就跳了出來——『【隊伍請求】喵喵仙貝邀請您加入隊伍,請問是否接受?』1157Please respect copyright.PENANAqrV22ASTHC
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「喂!你是召喚師吧?快乃(來)幫忙呀!不小心拉太多怪嚕,窩(我)們打不完啊啊啊——」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAqeZxuL0q0A
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他聞聲望去,就發現離暴走區約莫十五尺處的兩人。小貓妖法師一臉快崩潰地揮著棒棒糖又叫又跳,發音不甚清晰似有異腔,半魔祭司則往他冷冷瞥了一眼,讓本在猶豫的他不禁按下了接受鈕,一道系統音也隨之響起——1157Please respect copyright.PENANAedYiQ3SxGv
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「叮!玩家塞倫加入隊伍,將自動接受隊伍正在進行的【特殊任務】《禍害草原的外來客》。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAh8HioOWjgi
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「……」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAkM58b1ueY1
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看來他不跟著做完也不行了,於是,塞倫只好分別放出了攻擊最強的火麒麟和回血回魔的風精靈。幸好他昨天升了級,可以同時召喚兩隻靈寵,不過這麼大場面的戰鬥,他還是第一次經歷,實在沒把握能幫上多少忙。1157Please respect copyright.PENANA5R9R8tX2Ek
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一個小時後。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAvfPKQXjtcT
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「敵人太口怕啦!媽咪我好怕怕啊啊啊——」忽然從沈睡中驚醒的倖存怪,在望見中央的暴走怪團滅後,紛紛發出驚恐的哭喊聲往外逃離。對此,打怪打到手軟的四人已不想吐槽了。1157Please respect copyright.PENANASv0uEFmAs1
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「手……好……痠……」喵喵仙貝收起武器就往哥哥身上一靠,表示他現在一點都不想動。泰迪熊接住他軟嫩的身子幫忙按摩,同時往任務面板瞄了一眼,露出若有所思的表情。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1Oybs7oG6
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塞倫暗地吐了口氣,覺得自己好久沒這麼緊張了,幸好那個祭司及時發號施令,否則他真會亂了手腳。他叫回還在溜躂的靈寵,朝身邊的隊友們望去,卻見那兩人正親親我我放閃不止,便又尷尬地移開視線,點開任務面板查看。1157Please respect copyright.PENANA43JDtfR1Ip
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『【特殊任務】《禍害草原的外來客》:來自森林的怪客驚慌逃跑,揪竟該如何把牠們趕回森林勒?』1157Please respect copyright.PENANA0M6IcQVmWd
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所以這些怪其實是森林裡的嗎?不過,牠們剛才逃跑的路線好像往草原內部吧?塞倫想著同時,目光自然而然地朝前方望去,正好落在那顆一直提醒自己要吃花椰菜的爆炸頭上。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAKzzXAlBHjt
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「我的天,快累……」渾身沾滿泥草趴在地上的肉盾,一抬頭竟見到他「分思秒想」的精靈美人,便有如灌了一百瓶蠻牛一秒跳起,兩腿發顫地插腰擺出自認帥氣的姿勢,改用中文大聲說:「小意思!哥一點都不……」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6vFfzxtTL
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只可惜他話沒說完,一聲如雷怒吼便倏地響起,大地也發出強烈的震動,眨眼間,一雙長滿毛的大腳就從天而降。1157Please respect copyright.PENANA7set65t7mL
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「是哪個混蛋膽敢傷害俺的狼子狼孫?」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAm24WY2rCWT
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一名頭頂《有色狼》三紅字的三米巨型狼人,霸氣逼人地從極遠處躍至他們面前,正好一腳踩在不及逃避的肉盾頭上,發出踩扁某物的「噗嘰」噴汁聲,當場讓其他三人頓時一愣。1157Please respect copyright.PENANACeHhTCMlqg
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這……扛怪的死了要怎麼打啊?塞倫臉色蒼白地倒退幾步,抿嘴壓下差點脫口的尖叫聲,準備展翅飛逃。1157Please respect copyright.PENANARr71wia8yD
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「呀啊啊啊啊啊——」平日愛搗蛋卻也最俗辣的喵喵仙貝,回過神就炸毛地驚聲亂叫,身子也瞬間變回小奶貓直往哥哥懷裡撲,「揪命喵嗚咿咪喵——」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAr92SkZSM4b
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「退!」泰迪熊果斷放棄復活肉盾,嘴裡快速唸著騰雲駕霧咒,準備駕仙雲撤退。就在他接住飛撲來的小奶貓時,狼嚎聲又響了,不過,語氣似乎不太一樣?1157Please respect copyright.PENANA5hHMfhiVAI
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「啊啊~有小喵咪~」有色狼忽然發出如少女的驚喜尖叫後,以內八字的小碎步(儘管在他們看來還是很大步)迅速跑到泰迪熊面前,雙手捧著笑靨如花痴的臉湊近貝貝小奶貓,冒出一大串粉色愛心,以雷死人不償命的三八嗲音說:「小喵喵,給姊姊抱抱好不好嘛~♥」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAgse96Bhuol
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「啊……喵?」喵喵仙貝呆住了,泰迪熊也楞了,塞倫更傻了,而已是魂魄狀態的肉盾則在陳屍處飄晃,哀嘆自己在美人面前的失態。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAEnjZUIjMmC
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「給姊姊抱抱嘛~抱一下下就好了,小喵喵~♥」1157Please respect copyright.PENANASqXT5WN63A
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「呃……」喵喵仙貝望了眼沈下臉的哥哥,心想說不定這是什麼特殊解任法,便怯生生地伸出一隻小肉球,往有色狼的臉上輕輕一碰,發出嬌嫩嫩的輕喊:「喵~」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAPhPiOUzS8a
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「呀啊啊!被小肉球摸了,好開心喔喔喔!」有色狼摀著被拍到的臉頰,心花朵朵開地在地上打滾。於是,系統音就歡樂地陸續響起了——1157Please respect copyright.PENANAHN0U7MrpLQ
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「叮!恭喜玩家喵喵仙貝激發NPC野狼族族長《有色狼》的貓奴屬性,治癒《有色狼》的受傷心靈,成功解除《有色狼》的防衛機制,並觸發隱藏劇情任務,獲得野狼族好感度+60、經驗值10000。玩家泰迪熊餅乾、塞倫、肉盾阿弗羅,獲得野狼族好感度+30、經驗值5000。玩家肉盾阿弗羅自動原地復活。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAspu23Z4KNd
1157Please respect copyright.PENANAumZ40qBLS9
「叮!玩家喵喵仙貝顧及夫婿泰迪熊餅乾的妒意,未答應與《有色狼》擁抱,改以中庸之道輕拍《有色狼》,成功化解婚姻危機,兩人獲得恩愛放閃度+450、稱號《心有靈犀的夫妻》,夫妻等級由31級升至32級,請再接再厲閃瞎更多人唷~♥」1157Please respect copyright.PENANALfFMaqq2yG
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「叮!【特殊任務】《禍害草原的外來客》已被觸發隱藏劇情,請玩家與《有色狼》進行談話,以瞭解真相。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAkCbCURzYcT
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「……」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAMtF4wK9wiS
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「……」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAoYYyB0L4js
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明明整族都被打得慘兮兮,讓族長碰了下貓掌就全體加好感值,該不是這野狼族全是群M吧?心中吐槽才結束,他們就又聽到系統叮一聲表示四人獲得戳破盲腸度,便再次無語了。1157Please respect copyright.PENANAxaEmIzCsMs
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「其實,我們會大遷徙到草原來是有苦衷的。」有色狼笑瞇著眼凝視小奶貓,看起來一點都不苦地擦了擦口水,「我們在埃斯萊森林的巢穴來了個可怕的人,做了好多可怕的事,超級超級可怕的啊,只要你們把那個人趕走,我們就會立刻離開這裡回家。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAJJeBzzmp2F
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「是怎樣的人啊?」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAvYx9scsOc7
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「有多可怕呀喵?」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAdQq3VlKpWO
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面對肉盾和喵喵仙貝的問題,有色狼露出茫然的表情搖搖頭,「不記得了。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANA9XKSFh3zt1
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「不記得喵?」喵喵仙貝歪著小貓頭,將眼睛睜得又大又圓,「不是做好多可怕的事喵?者摸(怎麼)不記得惹喵?」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAaorKlyUVyJ
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有色狼又被萌得笑咧了嘴,痴痴地說:「就是不記得了嘛~♥」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAmMiw2nd2x4
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始終沈默的泰迪熊死癱著臉抱緊懷裡的小貓,以冷到骨子結凍的嗓音提出總算有確切答案的問題:「巢穴位置。」1157Please respect copyright.PENANA1iOG7B9uFQ
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「在埃斯萊森林東南側的一座瀑布裡,洞口掛著『內有瘋婆狼請注意』的門牌那個就是啦!」1157Please respect copyright.PENANAAw9XlkNsEL
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這門牌……真是不知該怎麼吐槽了啊!1157Please respect copyright.PENANAL0sqwSBn2W
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♥ (*´∀`*)人(*´∀`*)♥ ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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後記:
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結果率先勾搭到美人的反而是貝貝啦~XDDD1157Please respect copyright.PENANAaORRJsWd91
艾登徹底完敗!1157Please respect copyright.PENANAji5zPfWHKu
1157Please respect copyright.PENANAjk0duH3LXf
1157Please respect copyright.PENANAeHIqKCoq2X
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)1157Please respect copyright.PENANA9xX0LqeLKG
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)1157Please respect copyright.PENANAEdpxHUBUUZ
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)1157Please respect copyright.PENANAE3mwDhTWdU
1157Please respect copyright.PENANADnCt1r0F0g
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<1157Please respect copyright.PENANAyyNssu8Cv3
1157Please respect copyright.PENANAH0Sm7Xi0Tx
噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde1157Please respect copyright.PENANAsVFjopLSDk
FB粉絲頁:https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky1157Please respect copyright.PENANA1JxaoUJWXQ
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 10.14.2015
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