Suddenly I found myself back in the doorway to the kitchen of the house I grew up in. My grandmother was standing in front of the stove, still making pancakes. For several moments, I stood frozen in the doorway. I didn't know what was happening anymore everything looked so real.8964 copyright protection200PENANAZqNKrR5zgo 維尼
Something brushed against my leg, breaking me out of my daze. I looked down and saw my cat, Lavender, leaning up against my leg and looking up at me with bright, yellow eyes. She was a young calico, only a little over a year old. My grandfather had come home with her one day and had given her to me as a gift. I crouched down and gently rubbed behind her ears. She purred loudly and put her front paws on my leg.8964 copyright protection200PENANA6KbeVlIUD1 維尼
"I caught her playing with the toilet paper again," my grandmother said. "Try to remember to close the door when you leave."8964 copyright protection200PENANAOgNknjYaK7 維尼
I looked back up at her and instantly fell back. It was no longer my grandmother who looked down at me, but a zombie. It's skin was waxen and sickly looking. It's hair was white and was missing in places. It wore the same apron that I had given to my grandmother, but it was covered in blood. Its eyes were a milky gray and there was blood all around its mouth and down its front.8964 copyright protection200PENANAkGnAbI26Ny 維尼
"What's the matter, Lauren?" The zombie spoke with my grandmother's voice. When its mouth opened I could see that it's teeth were also covered in blood. It took a step towards me and I scrambled back until my back hit a wall. I heard a loud hiss and saw that Lavender was snarling at the zombie, her back arched and her tail fluffed up to twice it's normal size. The zombie looked at her and lunged, the sound that came from it no longer sounded like my grandmother but like a wild animal.8964 copyright protection200PENANAR16NsBm46w 維尼
Without thinking, I lunged forward and wrapped myself around Lavender. I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, waiting for the pain of the zombie sinking its teeth into my skin, but it never came. After a minute, I slowly opened my eyes again.8964 copyright protection200PENANAWR9OKuycky 維尼
I wasn't in my house anymore, I wasn't anywhere for that matter. An impenetrable blackness surrounded me and yet I could see myself clearly as if there was light only on me. I sat up, but Lavender was no longer underneath me. It was as if she had just vanished. Slowly, I stood up looking around trying to something, anything in the darkness but there was nothing.8964 copyright protection200PENANAgfFiYqttEt 維尼
"Why didn't you save me?" a voice spoke. I whirled around and my grandmother stood several feet away from me looking healthy and alive once again.8964 copyright protection200PENANA4NocPie89U 維尼
"Why didn't you save me?" She said again.8964 copyright protection200PENANAE99QgPmUy5 維尼
I tried to answer, I wanted to say that I tried, that I wanted to save her, but no sound came out.8964 copyright protection200PENANAnNtGXkg01W 維尼
"You could have saved me," She said and as I watched she slowly started to rot, her eyes going milky and her skin turning waxy until she no longer looked anything like my grandmother.8964 copyright protection200PENANAiQ8GuOHXLr 維尼
At the same time, other forms started to come into view from around me, materializing from the darkness. I recognized the faces of every single person that surrounded me. To my left stood an older man, in a business suit, his head shiny and bald, that I had watched be torn apart by a zombie just a few days after Day Zero. I had been in a city, surrounded by chaos as people frantically ran trying to get out of the city. I had run into and alley and climbed up to the first platform of a fire-escape to try and keep from being trampled and to catch my breath. While I was sitting there the bald man in the suit had run into the alley closely followed by a zombie with a chunk of its neck bitten off. The alley had led to a dead end and I remember him hitting the back wall and turning around. He saw me sitting on the fire escape, made eye contact with me. He screamed at me to help him. While I was nowhere near as good a fighter then as I was now, I had a pistol with me then. I could have shot the zombie, I could have saved him, but I didn't have that many bullets and I wanted to use them for when I was in danger and at that time I wasn't. So I turned away from him and climbed higher up the ladder listening to his screams as he died.8964 copyright protection200PENANAtejlcVEGiw 維尼
Next to the bald man stood a young boy, maybe 12 or 13, and a skinny german shepherd that I had shot myself. I had found them just two years after Day Zero in an old abandoned house in the country. I had gone into loot and found them in a bedroom on the second floor. The boy had been lying on a bed had a large bite to his shoulder, covered in blood. The german shepherd had been standing at the foot of the bed with several large gashes to its body. It had tried to attack me when I came in, but I had downed it with my katana. Next to the dog, on the ground was a dead zombie covered in bites and gouges probably the work of the dog. After I had killed the dog the boy had started to cry. He was close to death himself if he hadn't turned first. So, without even blinking, I had taken my gun out and shot him right between the eyes then went about looting the rest of the house.8964 copyright protection200PENANAcKicoDdhcd 維尼
There were countless more faces around me, all of them dead because of what I did or didn't do. People I could have saved and chose not to, people I killed with my own hands out of mercy or for one reason or another. And they all said the same thing over and over.8964 copyright protection200PENANACtn6uOnNNp 維尼
"Why didn't you save us?" they all said, chanting it, surrounding me with it.8964 copyright protection200PENANAX7PZMS767x 維尼
They started to crowd in around me each one rotting as they moved until I was surrounded by a mob of zombies, each one reaching out and gnashing their teeth. Their voices turned to groans ringing in my ears until it was too painful to handle. I clamped my hands over my ears, fell to my knees, screwing my eyes tightly shut and I screamed.8964 copyright protection200PENANAfkuOO9O3mO 維尼
I bolted upright, my skin covered in sweat. For just a few moments, I was confused. I was surrounded by darkness. Slowly the world came into focus around me as my mind broke free from the clutches of the nightmare that had woken me up. I was in a large, open room. It was completely empty except for a large amount of leaves and garbage that must have been blown in over the years. The floor was covered in a thin, ratty carpet. Rain softly pattered against the roof of the building and against an unbroken window above me.8964 copyright protection200PENANA6N7AJBmmVt 維尼
My head ached with a dull throbbing pain, but it didn't hurt anywhere nearly as bad as it had before. I reached up to touch the back of my head. There was still a large knot on the back of my skull but it was slightly smaller and when I removed my hand from it, my fingers were free of blood. I groaned and brought my knees up to my chest. A saw a bit of movement out of the corner of my eye and I quickly looked towards it.8964 copyright protection200PENANAjiACuXItZG 維尼
Andy was leaning up against the wall on the opposite side of the room. Around him, scattered all over the ground, were a multitude of half-tear-drop shaped, black and orange pieces. Leaning against the wall next to him were about four arrows, each one with three of the black and orange pieces near the notch of the arrow. He held one of the arrows in one of his hands and a used bottle of superglue in the other.8964 copyright protection200PENANA4IVPRZhr2t 維尼
He was watching me, not saying a word. The bottle of superglue was raised towards the arrow, but he wasn't moving it. I noticed that he had a small gash on his right cheek.8964 copyright protection200PENANATgeco7KEWm 維尼
I didn't know what to say to him. What I should have done was apologized for lashing out, thanked him for helping my but I couldn't seem to get my mouth to form the words. For some reason, it didn't feel right. Thanking him would mean that I acknowledged that I had been wrong. That I did indeed need help and I just couldn't do it. So instead, I looked away.8964 copyright protection200PENANAdnqdVWBJyb 維尼
Next to me, leaning against the wall, was my katana and my backpack.8964 copyright protection200PENANAnlUs1MVSi9 維尼
I spoke then, not even looking back at Andy when I said it. "How long was I out?" I asked him.8964 copyright protection200PENANAtes1EdP3zW 維尼
"Almost two days," he replied.8964 copyright protection200PENANA6b6gcqEgqh 維尼
I closed my eyes. I was ashamed of myself. Andy had saved me twice. I would be dead now if it wasn't for him and I still couldn't bring myself to admit it out loud or even thank him for it.8964 copyright protection200PENANAbskBdF2AyV 維尼
'If Andy wasn't here none of this would have happened,' a small voice in the back of my mind said. 'Who's to say you couldn't have killed that Runner in the gas station yourself? And if you hadn't met Andy you wouldn't have been on that fire escape when it gave out in the first place. If it weren't for Andy, you'd still be doing just fine.'8964 copyright protection200PENANAyiJRcFeY02 維尼
Even as I thought it, I knew I was just lying to myself. True, if I hadn't met Andy I wouldn't have fallen, but there was no way I could have said that I would have been fine without him. Everyone makes mistakes, out here though, a mistake can kill you. It was only a matter of time before I would have done something that would have killed me. Everyone is living on borrowed time. There's no such thing as a 'long and happy life' anymore.8964 copyright protection200PENANAxMMO9FOR34 維尼
I took a deep breath before I opened my eyes again. I balled my hands into fists in my lap tightly before just letting go and opening my hands so that my palms faced up. I thought about all the things my hands had done, all the people I had killed or hurt, how many lives I had ended. They were the hands of a killer.8964 copyright protection200PENANAylmBfL3su7 維尼
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a dick." I said out loud without looking up at Andy.8964 copyright protection200PENANA4DljWueeVg 維尼
For a long time, he didn't say anything. The sound of raindrops hitting the building was the only sound in the darkness.8964 copyright protection200PENANADs1G3yKaQA 維尼
Then, he spoke, but his voice was different, sadder almost. "I had lied when I told you that I never found my sister," he said.8964 copyright protection200PENANAdNSQu1BqpK 維尼
I looked back at him then. He was still watching me although he had set the bottle of superglue and the arrow aside. All the light had gone from his eyes. He looked defeated like he could no longer keep up whatever act he had been playing.8964 copyright protection200PENANAtscloL4sXd 維尼
"I did find her," he continued, 'two weeks ago."8964 copyright protection200PENANALMAnSXrNJ9 維尼
He dropped his gaze and gently picked up one of the orange pieces from the ground and began rolling it in between his fingers.8964 copyright protection200PENANAtA8jx3BodK 維尼
"I found her in an old playground that I used to take her to all the time. When I found her she had her back to me so I didn't know...I didn't know..."8964 copyright protection200PENANAXSmcsuptVS 維尼
He clenched his hand into a fist around the orange piece then dropped it into in his lap. "I called out to her and when she turned around it wasn't her... anymore. She ran at me, snarling like some... animal. I froze up then. I should have run, but I couldn't get my legs to move. By the time I finally was able to snap out of it, it was too late. She ran into me and we both went down. I panicked. I kicked her away, grabbed my shotgun, and I... I..." He bowed his head and I could see a single tear run down his cheek. "I shot her, dammit! I shot my goddam sister right in the face!"8964 copyright protection200PENANAEQyO0VRYub 維尼
I remembered the dream I had before. I remembered all the people I had watched die or had killed myself, all the people I could have saved, but didn't. I liked to tell myself that I did what I had to do, that if I hadn't done what I had, I wouldn't be alive, but I knew it really wasn't true. I didn't have to do some of the things I did, yet I did them all-the-same. I felt a mix of jealousy and pity for Andy. He was a good person and he didn't deserve what he had to go through. We all have our own crosses to bear out here, some more than others.8964 copyright protection200PENANAyy6PO8VLjV 維尼
"What was her name?" I asked him.8964 copyright protection200PENANAoGrNRPrwkk 維尼
"Abigail," he said, not raising his head.8964 copyright protection200PENANAuk862adsbX 維尼
"You didn't do it, you know," I said quietly, drawing my knees up to my chest. Doing so cause a small amount of pain in my ribs but I ignored it.8964 copyright protection200PENANARHtoG47Mun 維尼
"What?"8964 copyright protection200PENANAB72dfClfDq 維尼
"You didn't kill your sister. She was already gone."8964 copyright protection200PENANAltIK9d0dCS 維尼
"Thank you," he said.8964 copyright protection200PENANA4IpAzF9OGd 維尼
I gave a soft 'm'hmm,' in reply, watching the rain drum against the window.8964 copyright protection200PENANA9PCt3qJqr0 維尼
"So where is the safe zone that you talked about?" I asked, looking back at him.8964 copyright protection200PENANAWVfRDuO0l5 維尼
Andy took a deep breath and wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. I couldn't help myself from staring at his arm as if I could see the bite beneath the fabric."To be honest, I don't really know exactly where it is. All I know is that it's somewhere in Texas."8964 copyright protection200PENANAUGyqaYXaNo 維尼
"You do know how big Texas is, right?" I asked.8964 copyright protection200PENANANMPFuFEUf5 維尼
Andy nodded, as he talked a bit of the light returned to his eyes until he seemed to be almost back to his annoying overly-happy self. "Yeah, I do. But I heard that it was somewhere near the south-eastern coast so that narrows it down a bit"8964 copyright protection200PENANAirBkZyq6rr 維尼
"I'm assuming you've never been to Texas then, have you?"8964 copyright protection200PENANAu1vNoX7ZNf 維尼
He shook his head.8964 copyright protection200PENANAJMUqtrOwGT 維尼
I sighed and winced slightly at the pain the it caused in my chest. "Figures," I said. "Well, the state line isn't too far away from here. It should only take us two or three days to walk it."8964 copyright protection200PENANAWmJR8pZROS 維尼
"Us? Does that mean you're still coming with me?"8964 copyright protection200PENANAaimgeBcY5P 維尼
I rolled my eyes. "I made a promise didn't I?"8964 copyright protection200PENANArZa3ZPzzSK 維尼
Andy paused before he replied. "You've been all over the place here haven't you?"8964 copyright protection200PENANAR9s6hAPHzJ 維尼
"I've had nothing but time," I said. "We'll leave the first thing tomorrow morning."8964 copyright protection200PENANAvB0VLl1MPX 維尼
"Are you sure you should rest for a day or two more?" Andy asked.8964 copyright protection200PENANAgxz4MDPMCh 維尼
I shook my head. "The better we get out of here the better. Besides, I feel fine now." It was really only half a lie. My head and chest still hurt, but I didn't want to stay in one place any longer than I had to. Staying on one place for too long can make it harder to leave it you have to. It can also make it easier for Raiders to find.8964 copyright protection200PENANAxrEuUcIDWc 維尼
There was a long silence between the two of us. After a minute, I reached back and grabbed my katana from the wall and set it in my lap. It gave me comfort just to hold it my hands. I ran my hand lightly over the smooth surface of the sheath before I pulled the blade from it. Slowly and methodically, I inspected the blade, looking for any nick in the metal when it had been knocked from my hand in the alley, but it was undamaged.8964 copyright protection200PENANADQE4t6ub3w 維尼
I ran my thumb over the sharpened blade and winced when I felt a sharp pain. I pulled my thumb away and watched as beads of blood welled up from the cut. Instead of wiping the blood away, I pinched the skin around the cut making the blood flow faster. It hurt, but I didn't really care about it. The pain was proof that I was still alive, that I was still me. After a minute, I brought my thumbs to my lips and licked the blood from it.8964 copyright protection200PENANAFgx6nxyNsR 維尼
"Hey Lauren, can I ask you something?" Andy asked in a quiet voice.8964 copyright protection200PENANAZ0TKvwtkc6 維尼
I didn't look at him. I grabbed the sheath of my katana and started to re-sheath it. "What is it?"8964 copyright protection200PENANA2TftuXEzn7 維尼
"How many people have you killed?"8964 copyright protection200PENANABjZQCGNRV2 維尼
There was a sharp 'snap' as the sheath hit the metal guard at the end of the blade.8964 copyright protection200PENANAK27t4lmRKT 維尼
I bowed my head and stared down at the katana in my lap. There was a time when I might have been called shy. Before Day Zero, I was happy blending into the background and not drawing attention to myself. It's amazing how much someone can change in just 5 years.8964 copyright protection200PENANAOTu9I0z3XT 維尼
"Too many," I finally said. 8964 copyright protection200PENANAN78PtDh1Xi 維尼
I set my katana on the floor beside me and my eyes fell on my pack pushed into the corner. I grabbed in and pulled it towards me, unzipping the smallest pouch at the very front. From inside, I pulled out a small, flat, oval-shaped rock. It was blue with small flecks of gold and it was polished smooth. On one side, it had an indent that was just big enough for a thumb to rest on. 8964 copyright protection200PENANAAPJFl0CGp4 維尼
The rock itself had been given to me by my grandfather when I was young. He had called it a worry stone and had told me that, if I ever felt sad or alone, all I had to do was hold the stone in my hand and it would protect me and give me strength. I couldn't remember the last time I had actually taken it out. I ran my thumb over the smooth surface of the stone before closing my hand around it tightly.8964 copyright protection200PENANAchflgn4JOe 維尼
"I'm not a bad person," I thought to myself as I squeezed the stone tightly. "I'm not a bad person."8964 copyright protection200PENANAqizlEBcPV7 維尼
But no matter how many times I said the words, I knew they couldn't change all the things I had done, all the people I had killed. I slowly opened my fingers again and looked at the stone before I turned my hand over and let it fall to the ground. "Yes, you are." 8964 copyright protection200PENANA7xDrikhVYa 維尼
I woke up early the next morning. The room was empty when I had first woken up and for a second I thought that Andy might have left. Then, I spotted him sitting in the doorway that led outside, leaning against the doorframe. He looked at me and gave me a small nod before looking back outside. I slung, first my katana, and then my pack, over my shoulders before I stood up and walked over towards Andy.8964 copyright protection200PENANAX1PC8Kc1hx 維尼
He let out a large sigh before getting to his feet and turning to face me. "How are you feeling?" he asked.8964 copyright protection200PENANA0YNK4YzjC4 維尼
My ribs still ached and my head would throb painfully every once and a while but other than that. I felt the same as I always did. 8964 copyright protection200PENANAQPRLgpk6G5 維尼
"I'm fine, and if you ask me that one more time, I'm going to punch you." I said and I pushed past him. 8964 copyright protection200PENANAm2w1VZwrcP 維尼
Outside, the sun had just barely started to rise tinging the eastern horizon a light salmon color. Down the sidewalk to the right of me I noticed a dead zombie lying on the ground. Farther down was a second zombie that had an aluminum arrow sticking out of the back of its head that was slightly bent. Both of the zombies look freshly killed and I realized that the bent arrow looked exactly like the arrows Andy used. I didn't say anything about it, I just turned in the opposite direction and started walking. 8964 copyright protection200PENANA7iW28cjfS4 維尼
I passed by shattered storefronts and abandoned cars. As I walked I saw quite a few more zombies lying dead on the street, each one with a fresh hole somewhere in their head. I knew that Andy had killed these zombies but for some reason, each one I saw made me angry although I didn't know why they did. After a while, the dead zombies were replaced with live ones although they were all slow and easy to avoid.8964 copyright protection200PENANALqhN5AxvCH 維尼
In one of the cars that I passed, there was still buckled into its seat. When we passed it, it moaned loudly and reached towards us banging against the window of the car.8964 copyright protection200PENANAWQw8DQVytN 維尼
We hadn't been walking for more than half an hour Andy when had suddenly stopped beside me. At first I hadn't even noticed that he was no longer next to me. As soon as I did, I turned around and saw him standing, frozen in place, staring at something across the road.8964 copyright protection200PENANAB7XxnEYWOe 維尼
On the other side of the street, almost hidden behind a car, stood a zombie. It didn't look like it had been much older than six when the little girl it used to be, had turned into the creature it was now. It had long, straight, brown hair that was tangled and ratty, and it wore a pink polka dot nightgown that was spattered with dry blood. In one of its hands, hanging limp as it side, was a filthy teddy bear. I couldn't see its face because its head was bowed as if it was looking at something on the ground. Every once and a while, its body would twitch violently.8964 copyright protection200PENANAQfS0gDfLak 維尼
When the outbreak started the children had been some of the first to go. They would try to run to parents and relatives who had turned, not knowing any better and those who survived the initial chaos of the outbreak didn't last very long.8964 copyright protection200PENANAgkWHXb0qfe 維尼
I walked back over to andy, moving carefully and keeping my eye on the zombie in case it noticed me. 8964 copyright protection200PENANAljIVwfIJg3 維尼
"Andy." I said in a low voice, but he didn't show any sign that he had heard me. He just stood, not moving, staring at the zombie girl.8964 copyright protection200PENANAjHkeAc0qlA 維尼
I tried again, speaking a little louder. "Andy, we have to go."8964 copyright protection200PENANAUlz21HYbF0 維尼
"She looks like her," he said, not even bothering to lower his voice. I shot a worried glance at the zombie, but it hadn't moved.8964 copyright protection200PENANAkX1NBCflkQ 維尼
"Who?" I asked.8964 copyright protection200PENANAUj88LjHBce 維尼
"Abigail."8964 copyright protection200PENANAPLYaDAQPui 維尼
Although he had never actually spoken her name, I knew who Abigail was.8964 copyright protection200PENANAszZQBXMNHf 維尼
"Andy, Abigail is dead," I said. "We have to keep moving."8964 copyright protection200PENANAzwwtzs1wpR 維尼
Before Andy could say anything else, a shot rang out from somewhere close by followed by a loud scream. In an instant, the zombie's head snapped up and turned towards the general direction that the scream had come from. Its face was absolutely grotesque. Its eyes were missing leaving only dark pits. It's cheeks had been slashed through, letting its jaw dangle down a bit and revealing a mouth that was mutilated and missing a tongue.8964 copyright protection200PENANAUj5HMxgPxZ 維尼
The zombie turned around sharply. Then it broke into a sprint, still clutching the teddy bear, heading away from us and letting out an inhuman wail.8964 copyright protection200PENANAF9OEeZLr3x 維尼
"That wasn't far," I said keeping my eyes where the zombie had run. I reached down a grabbed my knife from my belt.8964 copyright protection200PENANAnWIDl8KiT4 維尼
I turned back to Andy. "We have to go," I repeated to him.8964 copyright protection200PENANAZVz5mkrndR 維尼
He looked at me, but his eyes were filled with pain and haunted by memories. 8964 copyright protection200PENANAwZgcJNQFKK 維尼
"Come on," I said. I grabbed Andy's wrist and started pulling him behind me. After a few meters, he pulled from my grip and kept pace beside me.8964 copyright protection200PENANANXbdGKhCXK 維尼
We passed by several Runners and regular zombies that were all heading in the direction that the scream had come from. We were almost to the end of a street when I heard voices ahead of us. I stopped quickly and crouched low trying to find where the voices were coming from. They sounded like there were in a building across the street from us.8964 copyright protection200PENANAOD4HFXvdPD 維尼
"Raiders?" Andy whispered from behind me.8964 copyright protection200PENANArSQdn05UiW 維尼
I nodded and pointed to the building where I was sure the voices and come from. I watched it carefully looking for any movement inside. Loud, obnoxious laughter rang out just as I caught a glimpse of a flashlight beam in a window on the second floor. 8964 copyright protection200PENANAT8KZMQjB4r 維尼
I felt a tug on my sleeve. Andy quickly pointed behind him. The window of the building was shattered. I nodded at him before he turned around and quickly climbed over through the window. I glanced back once at the building where the voices had come from before I Rested my hands on the window sill and swung my body up and over it. Glass crunched under my feet when I landed and I froze when I heard a new set of voices speak up right outside. If we had hesitated only a second longer, we probably would have been caught.8964 copyright protection200PENANACLQ708g3Cx 維尼
"Hey did you hear that Todd finally killed that bitch that had been camping down by Park Street?" 8964 copyright protection200PENANAPe3f5m99oH 維尼
"I sure as hell heard it, what happened?" said a second voice.8964 copyright protection200PENANAzIsjJa0GFY 維尼
"Apparently Todd had found her base," the said the owner of the first voice.8964 copyright protection200PENANAAeHtrtBEzf 維尼
"Really? Did she have anything good?" 8964 copyright protection200PENANASTUXexGy6p 維尼
"Dunno but Todd was bragging all morning that he was going to have a bit of fun with her before he decided whether to kill her or not."8964 copyright protection200PENANAPqPvY9L7RC 維尼
"I hope he doesn't kill her. We could use a new girl around. I've tired of the old ones"8964 copyright protection200PENANA05PI75oGb7 維尼
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" said a deep voice. It came from somewhere right behind us. "A couple of lost souls trying to find their way?"8964 copyright protection200PENANAsEBXOJ0N5d 維尼
I froze, the blood in my veins turning to ice.8964 copyright protection200PENANAPRJ1mF4TaX 維尼
I turned around slowly and my eyes were met by the ugliest man I had ever seen. His face was heavily scarred with a spider web of lines, he had one brown eye and one milky white eye, and he had stringy blonde hair that reached his shoulders. 8964 copyright protection200PENANARKYpHGrLyQ 維尼
I tightened my grip around the knife that was still in my hand before I lunged at him. I saw the flash of movement come from beside me a fraction of a second too late before I felt I felt a blinding pain on my left temple and everything went dark.8964 copyright protection200PENANAXp4o6mAS4Z 維尼
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