"Full arrest!" shouted the doctor. "Paddles!" A nurse wheeled a defibrillator over to him. He seized the device and prepped the paddles as the monitor continued its droning buzz.
"Clear!" he called, pressing the paddles to Ariana's chest. Kayla looked away, unable to watch Ariana's body jerk as the electricity coursed through her, trying to restart her heart. The doctor shook his head.
"Recharge!" He paused. "Clear!" Nothing. Kayla had dropped to her knees, her bloodstained hands held to her face. They tried one more time, but the droning continued and she knew. She knew Ariana was gone. She leapt to her feet and rushed to the bed, screaming, pleading with the doctors to keep trying, to not give up on her. She knew it was over, that it was too late, but she didn't care. They had to do something.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. He truly looked it. Kayla looked up at them with an expression of utter loathing on her face.
"Get out," she hissed. They didn't move. "Get out!" she screamed, seizing some sharp metal instrument from a tray beside Ariana’s bed. She brandished it like a sword, forcing the doctor and the nurses from the room. She locked the door behind them. She turned around and leaned against it, unsure what to do. Ariana lay in her bed, so still she might have been a statue. Kayla was trembling, shaking so badly that she could hardly stand.
She had never before in her life wanted to both do so many things and do absolutely nothing at all. An all too familiar rage was building within her and she wanted to destroy something, she wanted to ravage the person responsible for killing that sweet girl, for taking that beauty from her, from the world. But Dwayne was already dead. She couldn’t go on a rampage for revenge this time. There was no vengeance to be had. There was no one she could hurt, so she hurt the room instead.
She broke things, threw things, ripped cabinet doors off of their hinges and smashed monitors, all the while Ariana’s heart rate monitor continued its endless drone. She stumbled back to Ariana’s bed and fell onto a stool. She looked down at the redhead’s face, positively willing it not to be true. Ariana couldn’t be dead. Not her. It struck her then how utterly unfair the world was. People like Ariana’s father, people like her… absolute monsters seemed to survive. They lived long lives, their crimes often unpunished. It was the innocent, the beautiful… the angels of the world that suffered and died.
A sudden knock came at the door and a male voice called out to her.
"Ma'am?" said the voice. "Ma'am, this is hospital security. I need you to open the door for me." Kayla didn't move. What could they do to her if she refused? Break the door down and arrest her? Fine, she could go to prison. She didn't care. She sat there as the security officer continued to knock and call for her. She knew it wouldn't be long before either the security guard or the police themselves attempted to bust through the door. She would just wait.
She stood up and began to pace, a sudden energy filling her, forcing her to move. Her rage could not be sated by merely breaking a few pieces of furniture. She wanted to find someone and tear them apart. She didn't care who, she just wanted to hurt someone... to make them feel some tiny portion of the anguish that had engulfed her like a blazing inferno. She wanted to do it, she would have done it if she hadn't pictured Ariana's face when she learned the truth. She saw the horror in those beautiful blue eyes that she would never see again and she knew that Ariana would never forgive her. It was this, more than anything, that calmed Kayla.
She walked back over to the stool, suddenly more exhausted than she had ever been in her life. She sat down and looked again at Ariana. The doctors had ripped open her shirt as they had tried to save her and as Kayla sat there, she spotted a glint of some shiny material on Ariana's skin. Looking closer, she realized Ariana was still wearing the locket she had given her for her birthday. She picked it up with hands still caked with Ariana’s blood and flipped it over.
A thousand years isn’t long enough. Forever. K & A.
“Forever…” Kayla whispered. “That was a promise, Ari,” she said, brushing the girl’s hair away from her face. “You and me. Forever.” She looked around and found the instrument she had threatened the doctor with. It was a simple scalpel and was much smaller than Kayla had remembered. She picked it up and looked at it, wondering as she did so why the thought hadn’t occurred to her sooner.
She crawled into bed with Ariana, noticing that she was still warm, that she still smelt like strawberries. She kissed her gently, briefly… just long enough.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll always love you, Ari.” She drew the razor edge of the blade across her wrist, cutting deep. She felt the warmth of blood flow down her arm and snuggled closer to Ariana. Her thoughts turned briefly to her mother. She hoped that one day both she and her sister would understand everything. She doubted they would, but she would die with hope.
She lay there for a moment, the wound on her wrist slowly but steadily dripping blood. Kayla sighed, feeling oddly warm and comfortable. It wasn't so bad, really, dying. She had thought she would be scared, but she wasn't. And besides, maybe she'd see Ariana again. She wasn't sure if she believed in God or even an afterlife, but right then she hoped there was something after death. She hoped that as she took her last breath, she would wake and Ariana would be waiting there for her. She tilted her head, breathing in Ariana's sweet scent. She felt drowsy, warm and content.
Beep.
Kayla’s head snapped up, looking at the heart rate monitor. It was still a constant, uninterrupted drone. She sighed and settled back down. It must have been her imagination running wild.
Beep. Buzz… Beep, buzz, beep... Beep… Beep… Beep… Kayla looked up again, confused and lost for words. The heart rate monitor was reading a pulse, weak but steady. Kayla sprang from the bed faster than anyone ever had. She raced for the door but before she could reach it the lock on the door was smashed from outside. The door swung open revealing two security officers standing on the threshold. What happened next, Kayla would scarcely remember. She screamed as the officers took her away, trying to explain to anyone who could hear her that Ariana was still alive.
The officers took Kayla into a neighboring room where a nurse bandaged her arm. She was given antidepressants and was forced to speak with an on-site therapist who informed her that Ariana was still alive and was receiving medical care. Kayla was hardly prepared to spill her guts to some woman she didn't know, but once she got there she found she talked for over an hour. The therapist, Karen, managed to calm Kayla. Afterwards, she was brought to the hospital administrator. The man gave her a warm smile as she entered his office. He sat down at his desk and indicated Kayla should do the same. She did, noticing that he was watching her intently over the top of his glasses.
"So, you threatened my staff, smashed tens of thousands of dollars of equipment, attempted suicide, and forced my security team to break down a door in the trauma center." he said seriously. "What possible reason could you give me to not have you arrested?" Kayla shook her head.
"There isn't one," she said in a hollow voice. "I knew what I was doing... I knew it was wrong, I just didn't care... I... I'm sorry. I wouldn't blame you for having me arrested. I'll even confess. I'll pay for everything I broke... my girlfriend, she... she has plenty of money. We can cover it, I... just tell me how much and I'll pay."
"I'm not interested in money, Ms. Austin," said the administrator. "I'm more concerned about your mental state. I know you spoke with one of our counselors, but given your attempt to kill yourself, we're worried you might try to harm yourself again and we can't..."
"I won't do that again," Kayla said quietly. "That... that was stupid, I shouldn't have... I just thought... I thought we'd be together again. I thought... I don't know what I thought."
"You look like you've been through a lot," said the administrator. "More than what happened today, I mean. Listen, here's the deal I'm going to propose. If you'll agree to regular visits with a therapist, I won't press charges against you."
"I'll do it," said Kayla quickly, hardly caring what she was agreeing to. "I'll do it. I'll pay for the damages, as well. All of it. If you can save my girlfriend, I'll donate a whole wing to this place." The administrator smiled.
"Well, you can be certain we'll do our very best for her, Ms. Austin." he said. "We're taking good care of her, I promise."
-.-
Two hours later, Kayla was sitting in the waiting room staring at a picture of a vase of flowers on the wall and wondering why anyone would paint a picture of a vase of flowers instead of just getting a vase of flowers and putting them there instead. It was the strangest thing to worry about at a time like this, but it was all her mind could take.
She had called the warehouse to make sure everyone was okay, which they were... if a little shaken up. She had called home, had called her mom and told her what had happened. She had immediately taken the first flight out of San Francisco. She was lost, right then, somewhere in the web of air traffic above mainland America, completely cut off from Kayla who so desperately wished to talk to her.
Cooper had driven upstate for the week and was currently driving back, probably at breakneck speed after Kayla had told him about Ariana's shooting. That was all she had been able to do. After that, she had sat down in that seat and hadn't moved. That was well over an hour ago and she still hadn't managed to summon the energy to move at all.
It was well after midnight and the waiting room had emptied completely save for Kayla. It was rather dark, but she didn't really notice. Some part of her brain told her at one point that she was hungry, but she ignored the urge to eat and remained sitting resolutely in her chair.
Just when Kayla thought that she couldn't take sitting there, listing to the handful of songs that kept playing softly on loop through the overhead speakers, the door opened and the doctor came in looking exhausted. Kayla stood up and went to him. She couldn't help noticing that he looked grave.
"How is she?" Kayla asked when she reached him. He shook his head.
"She's alive," he said tiredly. Kayla's heart leapt. "But she's still critical. There's nothing else I can do for her until she stabilizes."
"But... but she will, won't she?" Kayla asked, her heart sinking as fast as it had risen.
"I can't promise anything yet," said the doctor, whose name Kayla saw on his nametag was Dr. Jacob Hale. "Her condition is very serious, Ms. Austin. We just have to wait and see what happens overnight. But, I must tell you... her heart stopped for almost ten minutes. The fact that she's even still alive is a miracle. But her brain was starved of oxygen for ten minutes. The brain begins to die after only two minutes without oxygen."
"What does that mean?" Kayla demanded, wishing he would just get to the point.
"It means that even if Ariana survives, and I'm obligated to stress the 'if', she won't ever be the girl you knew."
"Are you saying she's brain dead?" Dr. Hale shook his head slowly.
"No," he said firmly. "That's the thing. She should be brain dead. After that long with no oxygen going to her brain, she should have suffered severe and irreversible brain damage. But she's breathing on her own, which is an encouraging sign. We're going to do more tests and see where we're at. We're going to do everything we can for her, Ms. Austin. I promise."
"Can I see her?" Kayla asked. He considered her for a moment and then nodded.
"Yes," he replied. "For a short time. Just ask someone at the nurse's station when you're ready to go back."He left. Kayla turned to go back to her seat, but paused the second she looked at it. She knew if she sat back down, she might just stay there forever. Instead, she went down to the empty cafeteria and bought a cup of coffee from the vending machine. She paced the corridor outside of the waiting room, sipping her coffee and thinking.
Ariana was alive, but she would likely have catastrophic brain damage. She would never be the same person again, if she ever woke up at all. The sweet, bubbly girl that Kayla had fallen in love with was dead. She was gone and she was never coming back. It was far too much for Kayla and she fell to the floor, dissolving into tears.
She cried harder than she ever had in her life. She positively screamed her grief for the whole hospital to hear, but no one came to her. No one except a young blonde that knelt down beside her.
"You look miserable," she said softly. Even in her pain, Kayla recognized that voice. Her head snapped up and she stared. Claire Winters knelt beside her, smiling slightly.
"Hey," she said quietly. "It's been a while." Kayla stared, eyes wide with fear and confusion.
"You... you... you're dead," Kayla shouted. "How are you...? I'm dreaming. That's it, I'm dreaming. This is all a dream. Dwayne never found us, Ariana's not dying. No, we're both warm in bed. That'll be it..." Claire slapped her lightly across her face.
"Snap out of it," she said sternly. "You're not dreaming, kiddo. You're awake, Dwayne did find you, and Ariana is most definitely fighting for her life."
"Then... then what's...? How are you here?" Kayla asked her. "You're dead." Claire shrugged.
"Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't come visit my best friend, does it?" Claire asked quizzically.
"Uh...." said Kayla. Claire rolled her eyes.
"Okay, fine," she said, holding out her hand to help Kayla to her feet. Kayla took it and Claire pulled her up.
"This is.... weird." said Kayla uncertainly.
"You get used to it," said Claire brightly. "It's not so bad, really, being dead."
"Well, I wouldn't know," Kayla replied.
"You wanted to," said Claire, pointing at the bandage on Kayla's wrist. "We need to have a talk, Mikayla. Seriously? You tried to kill yourself because Ariana died? You only went on a murderous rampage when I died."
"I only..." Kayla began, but Claire was smiling.
"I was joking," she said, shaking her head. "Listen, Kayla, I'm here for you. You obviously want to talk to me, so... spill it, sister." Kayla sighed and sank slowly onto a bench. Claire followed her and sat down beside her. Kayla found that now, sitting there with Claire, that she had no idea what she wanted to talk about.
"I'm going crazy," she said at last. "I'm sitting here talking to my dead best friend. Okay, so let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about how I’ve finally snapped and gone complete bat shit crazy!”
“You’re not crazy,” said Claire firmly, but then she smiled. “Well, you’re a little crazy, but no, not about this, about me. I’m really here, sweetie.”
“Can anyone else see you?”
“Unfortunately, no,” said Claire. “So you might want to keep your voice down unless you want people to notice you standing here talking to yourself.”
“They have a mental ward here,” said Kayla. “I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, make jokes,” said Claire. “Look, you need to talk about this. I can be whatever you need me to be. If you want me to be a figment of your delusional imagination, I can be. Whatever helps you, okay? But right now, you need me. So, let’s forget for a moment that I’m dead and just talk to me like you used to. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Ariana’s dying… and her brain is… is… too damaged. The doctor said she’ll never be the same person again even if she survives.” Claire nodded slowly.
“That’s not why you’re so upset,” said Claire quietly. “You don’t fall apart like this, not even over something this serious.”
“The only person I’ve got left in the whole damn world is as good as dead and I’m not supposed to cry?!” Kayla shouted, not caring who heard her. “What the hell do you expect me to do?”
“Keep your grief bottled up inside like you always do,” said Claire. “C’mon, I know you, kiddo. You’re not a crier. So, what is it?”
“I…” Kayla couldn’t say it, even though she knew what Claire was getting at. It was too hard, too painful for her to speak the words aloud.
“If I’m just a figment of your delusional mind, then I already know,” said Claire. “You need to let it out, honey. It’s killing you.”
“There’s nothing to let out!” Kayla snapped. She wasn’t going to talk about it.
“”Yes, there is, Mikki,” said Claire sharply. “There’s something you need to come to grips with, dear. You can sit there and deny it all you like, but the longer you hold it in, the harder it’s going to be to let go.”
“I don’t want to let go of anything!” she shouted. Quite suddenly, the endless loop of tracks that played quietly overhead jumped several decibels, flooding Kayla’s ears.
Well, you only need the light536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFjAFP9SzE
when it’s burning low536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV086zu6Jqw
Only miss the sun536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MG5NuJk6i
when it starts to snow536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfDIYI7q8j
Only know you lover her536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIZZP9NKQW
when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ9mITnALV
When you’re feeling low536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80CUDMZDtU
Only hate the road when 536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0U9r5sdw1
You’re missing home536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblJoKAHaFa
Only know you love her536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoMCnbVnop
When you let her go536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdL7ZBIMdf
536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1SYQjg53D
And you let her go.
“I’m not letting Ariana go!” said Kayla, feeling suddenly furious. “If that’s your game, you can stop playing! I’m not letting her go! I’m not leaving her here to die alone!”
“I’m not saying you should,” Claire said gently. Kayla leaned back against the wall, shaking her head. She closed her eyes, half praying Claire would be gone whenever she decided to open them again.
You see her when you close your eyes536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvEiqYedPc
Maybe one day you’ll understand why536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIxAXxRH1p
Everything you touch surely dies
“It’s my fault,” Kayla said quietly, unbidden tears falling once again. “It’s… it’s all my fault. Ariana, she… she’s in this mess because of me. I knew what could happen, but I stayed. If I had just left the warehouse, she… she’d still be…”
“Alone,” said Claire. “She’d still be alone. She would still be the broken girl you found all those weeks ago. But yeah, you’re right. What happened to Ariana is your fault.”
“I thought you were supposed to encourage me or something?” Claire smirked.
“Do you want me to lie? Kayla, it is your fault. Like you said, you knew the danger you were putting her in, but you stayed anyway. So, yeah, it is partly your fault. But you didn’t pull the trigger, Kayla. Dwayne did. He shot her. He put her here.”
“She took a bullet for me, Claire,” said Kayla, looking up at the blonde with tear-filled eyes. “Dwayne shot me and she… she… that stupid, stupid girl saved my life.”
“She loves you,” said Claire. “She did the same thing I would’ve done… and you would have done it for either of us.”
“That’s not the point!” Kayla exclaimed. Claire just didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand. “Ari, she… I protect her. I always protect her. It should have been the other way around, Claire. It should be me dying up there, not her. That shot was not meant for her, but she… It was my job to protect her and I failed her… just like I failed you. This is just you all over again only… only this time there’s no one for me to hurt.”
“You really think she’d want you to go kill someone for her?” Claire asked. “You think I did? Mikayla, you did all that for you, not for me. I never would have asked you to do that, to kill in my name. I would have wanted you to just live your life. I wanted you to let me go and just live.”
“Just like you want me to let Ariana go,” Kayla snapped.
“No,” Claire insisted. “No, Mikki, I don’t want you to let Ariana go, okay? That’s the last thing I want. I want you to let go of all this guilt and hatred and anger you’ve been carrying around for a year! You’ve got to stop hating yourself for what happened to me. It wasn’t your fault.
“I don’t blame you and neither does Ariana. She loves you so much she would rather die than see you hurt. She took a bullet to save you, Kayla. She loves you and yes, you most certainly do deserve her. She’s the very best thing that’s ever happened to you…
“And I did this to her,” said Kayla furiously. “You want to know what the worst part of all of this is? The last thing I said to her… I told her that I didn’t love her… that I never loved her. I told her I tricked her to steal her money. I made her think I hated her.” Kayla put her face in her hands, sobbing silently. Claire put a comforting hand on her back.
“Sweetie, she knew you loved her,” said Claire. “She knew you were just trying to trick Dwayne. Look, she needs you right now. She needs to know that you’re here, believing that she’s going to get better… that she’ll be okay.”
“She won’t!”
“Not if you keep thinking like that,” said Claire firmly. “Mikki, she needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to believe that she can come back from this. She needs your courage, your bravery, your strength, and most of all your love right now. I believe, and I could just be full of bullshit, but Mikki, I believe that love conquers all. Yes, even death. And yeah, I know how that sounds, but I’ve always believed it. Right now, you need to believe it too.” Kayla nodded slowly. She leaned back again and closed her eyes, letting the last few notes of the song wash over her.
You only need the light536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbPMm5uzqC
when it’s burning low536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcDsQ9M9qz
Only miss the sun536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ807EoTRgQm
when it starts to snow536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwODDRMBxW
Only know you lover her536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOVeETD2ah
when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeiJgAUd5y
When you’re feeling low536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jIc5Xu9s4
Only hate the road when 536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNkEC5WRTD
You’re missing home536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxisaFvmvK
Only know you love her536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcs7eepPGX
When you let her go
And you let her go
"Okay," said Kayla softly. "Okay, I'll do it. I believe. I just need to tell you one thing first." She opened her eyes and turned toward Claire, but she was gone. Kayla looked up and down the corridor, but the blonde was nowhere to be seen.
"Yeah..." she muttered to herself. She managed to summon the energy to stand and staggered back into the waiting room. She fell back into her chair and within moments she was asleep.
-.-
Kayla was awoken by a frantic Cooper bursting into the otherwise empty waiting room, calling her name. Kayla jerked awake, frightened. She reached instinctively for her gun but then remembered she had left it on the warehouse floor.
"Kayla! Kayla, what the hell happened?!" he demanded, rushing over to her. "How is she?! What's going on?!"
"She's... she's out of surgery, but she's still in critical condition," said Kayla in a monotone. "She's... okay, I've got a lot to tell you. Please, sit down..."
Kayla had no idea why she wanted to tell him, but she told him everything. She told him everything that had happened since Claire's murder. When she was finished, she knew he was furious. She knew she was about to be in very serious trouble.
"You knew," he hissed, a level of vehemence Kayla had never heard from him present in his voice. "You knew what could happen to her! You knew all along that this fuck could find you, and yet you stuck around anyway! You did this to her!"
"You don't think I know that," Kayla snapped. "Trust me, I've been blaming myself all night. I'd give anything to trade places with her, to be lying in there dying instead of her. I can't, Coop. All I can do is sit here and wish I was in her place instead."
"I warned you that if you ever hurt her, I'd..."
"You'll what?" Kayla demanded. "You'll what? Kill me?!" She held up her wrist. "When Ariana's heart stopped and they told me she was dead, I couldn't live with it... or without her. But I've lost her anyway... so, if you want to kill me, Coop, go ahead. Please, do it. You'll be doing me a favor." Cooper turned away from her furiously. He paced back and forth a few times, his face impassive.
"I want to see her," he snapped at Kayla, who nodded.
"There's a nurse's station down the hall." Kayla told him. "Ask someone there and they'll take you back." Cooper glared at her and stormed off, out of the waiting room. Kayla waited a few minutes before following him. She found Ariana's room easily enough, but she didn't go in. She just watched Coop sit beside her bed through a wide window outside.
It was the first time Kayla had seen Ariana since she had run to find the doctor after her heart had started beating again. She looked so pale, so fragile. Kayla thought a light breeze might just crush her. Tears welled in the brunette's eyes again as she stood there, watching her best friend, her partner, her savior, the love of her life fighting for her life. The guilt of everything she had done nearly broke her then and she stumbled back to lean against the wall on the far side of the corridor.
"Fuck..." she breathed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."
"Baby girl, didn't I ever teach you not to use that kind of language?" Kayla's head snapped around in the direction of the voice so fast that she cricked her neck.
"Mom?!" she exclaimed. Kayla's mother, Penny, stood at the end of the corridor. She looked like an older version of Kayla herself, with similar long, dark hair and identical brown eyes. Kayla leapt to her feet and ran down the hallway. Her mother engulfed her in the kind of hug only a mother can give and Kayla, who truly believed she could not cry any more that day if she tried, broke down completely in her mother's arms.
When Kayla had cried herself out, her mother released her and held her out at arm's length to look her over. She smiled.
"Well, at least you've been eating," she said kindly. "I was worried you weren't taking care of yourself. I expected you to be far too thin."
"That's Ariana, she... she loves to cook and she's really good at it." Kayla explained. "She..."
"It's okay," said Penny. "I know it must be difficult to talk about her. I could tell by the way you talked about her that you really love her."
"I do," said Kayla, shaking her head. "I really do, Mom. I never thought I'd be whole again, not after Claire... but then I met her, and she just... she has this way about her. The way she looks at the world, she's... an angel. She's an angel and she's gonna die."
"Sweetheart, you don't know that," said Penny in a very stern voice. "She's fighting this, you know she is. She's..."
"Not strong enough," said Kayla quietly. "She's not strong enough to win, not this time."
"Maybe not," said Penny. "That's why she needs you to believe that she is strong enough. Help her, Kayla. Show her you believe in her. Give her your strength."
"You know, you're the second person to tell me that tonight?" said Kayla. "Maybe you're on to something."
"Always listen to your mother," said Penny with a slight smile. Kayla nodded absently and wandered slowly back over to the window, watching Cooper who still sat with Ariana.
"She's beautiful," said Penny, joining her at the window. "You've got good taste."
"The best," said Kayla. "Mom... it's really good to see you. I pictured this day a million times; Dwayne dead, me finally free... I just never thought it would end like this. I thought... I thought I'd be happy when he was gone. Now? Now, I'd take a thousand of him back, alive and well and pissed at me if it meant I could save her."
"You can't change the past, Kayla," said Penny lightly. "What's done is done. You can't change it, so don't fret over it. Let the past go and focus on the here and now. Speaking of the here and now, it's nearly five in the morning and you look exhausted. You should go home and get some rest." Kayla's eyes widened and her temper, which had hovered so close to the boiling point all night, exploded.
"I'm not going anywhere!" she shouted angrily. "I'm not leaving this hospital until I know what's happening with Ariana!"
"Kayla, nothing is happening right now," said Penny gently. "We're all just waiting. You should go home and rest. You've been through a trauma yourself tonight. Go home, sleep, and come back in the morning. If anything happens, I'll call you immediately and you can come back."
"If she dies while I'm gone, I'll never forgive myself for not being here," said Kayla fiercely. Penny fixed her daughter with a serious stare.
"If she dies at all, you'll never forgive yourself," she countered. "I know you, Kayla, better than you do. Now, go home and rest."
Kayla relented. Her mother was right... she usually was. If Ariana were to die, she wasn't going to wake up first. She would never know Kayla wasn't with her, and it was true that she wouldn't forgive herself if she died anyway, so what did it really matter? She bade her mother goodbye. She thanked her for making the trip to Detroit and asked her to please tell Cooper where she'd gone.
She went downstairs and called a cab to take her back to the warehouse. The ride back was quiet and uneventful. Kayla sat in the back of the car with her head pressed against the cool window, hoping to relieve her pounding headache.
They arrived ten minutes later. Kayla paid the driver and made her way toward the open cargo doors. The apartment fire people were all in their warm tents, probably asleep. Kayla didn't bother them. Someone had called the police during the night. She found the remains of some crime scene tape still attached to the warehouse wall.
The bodies of Dwayne and his men were gone. Kayla vaguely recalled someone saying that only one of Dwayne's thugs had survived the beating. She hoped he was hurting. As she started toward the stairs, she saw the blood. The pool of blood that had spread slowly around her as she had held Ariana. She stood there, staring into the field of red for a long time, barely able to believe that it was real.
Finally, she turned away and walked passed the Mclaren, which still sat gleaming in its usual spot, and went upstairs. She recalled seeing a terrified Sophia in the car before Ariana had been shot. She briefly wondered how the little girl was handling it all. Probably better than she was.
She reached the top of the stairs and pulled the door open. The apartment was just as they had left it before they had gone to the mall. It was as though nothing was different, as though nothing had happened. Their world, their lives, frozen in this room. Kayla walked over and sat down on the sofa. She felt like crying again. Everything here reminded her of Ariana, but she didn't even have the energy to summon tears.
Fluffers bounded out of the bedroom and leapt lightly into Kayla's lap. Kayla lifted her uninjured hand and stroked his fur. He purred happily for a few minutes before jumping down onto the floor. He started looked around the apartment as though searching for something.
'Or someone' Kayla thought sadly.
"She's not here," she called out to him. "Ariana's not here. You're stuck with me," She stood and started toward the bedroom. She fell fully clothed into bed and instantly regretted it. The bed smelled just like Ariana. The pillows, the blankets, the sheets, all of it. As she lay there, however, the scent began to comfort her. It was as though Ariana was there with her, in a way. It was the only thing that kept Kayla from screaming and at some point, just before the sun crested the horizon, it lulled her to sleep.
-.-
It was nearly nine in the morning when Kayla woke. She knew she had only gotten a couple of hours of sleep, but she couldn't drift back off again. After fifteen minutes of lying there, tossing and turning, she cursed and climbed out of bed. She ambled into the apartment, instantly noticing just how wrong it felt. By this time of morning, the apartment was warm and filled with the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen.
That morning, it was cold and had none of the warmth and light that Ariana brought to each morning. She should be there, smiling happily when Kayla emerged from the bedroom, grumpy in the early morning hours. She should be saying something sweet, something nonsensical... something to make her brighten up. Instead, the apartment was quiet.
"You never noticed how quiet it was here before, did you?" Claire asked, stepping out of the bathroom and watching Kayla with her arms folded across her chest.
"She was always the first one up," said Kayla, sitting down weakly on the sofa. "She made this place feel like... home." Claire nodded understandingly. "Where the hell did you disappear to last night, anyway?" Claire shrugged.
"What? Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't have a life," she said stiffly. "I don't have time to stand around here all day. My social life is on fire!"
"Right..." said Kayla, leaning back and resting her head on the back of the couch. "So, I... I guess you know my mom showed up last night?" Claire nodded.
"Yeah, it was good seeing her again," she said. "She was always so nice to me. I'm glad she was here for you... and that you listened to her and came home. You needed some rest."
"Yeah..." said Kayla absently. "I didn't get much. I... I need to call my mom, make sure Ariana's okay..." She found her phone and called. There had been no change. Ariana's life was still hanging by a thread. Kayla knew she should feel better. No news, in this case, was good news, but nevertheless, she still felt miserable.
"But she's still alive," said Claire firmly. "She's still here."
"For now..." said Kayla quietly. Claire looked at her for a long moment, looking thoughtful.
"She's going to be fine," she said after a moment. "Ariana, I mean. She's not going to die, she'll be fine. I know it."
"You can't know that," Kayla snapped. "You're either a ghost or my own traumatized delusion, I haven't decided which yet, but either way, you can't know that."536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf8D08bQ37
"Fine, don't believe me," said Claire airily. "But she really will be okay. You say she's not strong enough, but she is. She's a fighter and she's much tougher than you give her credit for. She'll pull through... you mark my words." Kayla rolled her eyes and stood up. She marched to the refrigerator and jerked it open. She spent a full minute looking inside before she realized she didn't want anything. She closed the door and turned to head back to the couch. When she looked up, Claire was gone again.
"Will you stop doing that?!" Kayla shouted, realizing with a jolt of fear that she was most likely talking to herself. She had just sat back down on the sofa when a knock came at the door. She stood up and went to open it. Two police officers stood at the top of the stairs.
"Mikayla Austin?" one of the officers asked. Kayla nodded, half expecting them to arrest her. "Ms. Austin, we need to speak with you. May we come in?" Kayla nodded again and stood back to let them in. The officers walked into the apartment and Kayla, shaking from head to toe, closed the door behind them.536Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KxtHjPlae
